Music you wish you could listen to with your friends but you know they won't like it so you don't bother even though you yourself think it's ace!

- S

XTC!

One of my friends hates anything that even "rubs up against" [the 80's | new wave]

Cave In are most definitely my guilty pleasure. I like Jupiter better than any Radiohead, much to the shame and chagrin of all my friends.

Can we stop this horrendous bullying, it's ruining ILX.

If you're worried about your friends judging you for your taste in music, you either need to see someone about your self-confidence issues, or you simply need some broader-minded friends.

It's not the judging, though. WRT the original thread title, it's more about said music's buzz-killing properties, and who wants to kill a buzz? I get lumbered with this issue all the time, and it hacks me off good and proper.

Well, there's friends who are "into" music, and those who aren't. For the former, it's a moot point since we all have basically the same records. And as for the latter: Unless they hate ALL music, I can always find something for my friends/acqaintances to enjoy - even if that only represents 0.1% of the total musics at my disposal. Some (most?) people are NEVER going to enjoy Captain Beefheart or Archie Shepp or Kõrgtones and that's fine. I'm not going to be a fascist and force 'em to listen.

I'm not going to be a fascist and force 'em to listen.

i need more friends like this

I hardly have any friends who are really into music, so mostly, I'm on my own as far as exploring genres or kicking around ideas and feelings about albums. I've got one friend with whom I bounce back stuff about music on email, but it's extremely rare that I get together with friends with the sole intention of listening to albums. I wish it happened more.

Though when I have friends over I can always find something to put on in the background that they enjoy, even if, as Myonga said above, it's not totally representative of all the music I'm into. It's safe to say that a lot of the music I like to listen to on my own is definitely not suitable for a fun, relaxed get-together with a mixed crowd. But I guess that's okay -- there can be a big difference 1.)music that's good to hear on your own and 2.)music that's good to hear in social settings.

Though I wish I had more friends that I could hang out with and listen to all those ambient/drone/metal/noise/dark/weird/experimental/freak/etc albums that I only listen to by myself. I just hardly know anybody that's 1.)into music that much in the first place and 2.) much less into those kinds of music. I hardly have any friends with whom I hang out and talk even about pop music, much less all the weird stuff that most people wouldn't like anyways.

My older brother is definitely way into music, and sometimes I'll bring home albums I've been into to play for him and bounce back responses. For many years he was the main person with whom I talked about music.

But to a large extent now, he doesn't seem to be so much into hearing new stuff, ("new" not even meaning current, sometimes just "new to him") and is somewhat content in settling in with all the music he got into when he was my age. He's only been enthusiastic about a few things I've played for him in the past few years. Can't totally blame him for not being interested in keeping up with new stuff, though, as he's got a wife and three kids, limited income, time, etc. But it's got the point where I don't bother bringing stuff home to listen to with him, as he doesn't show much interest anymore.

it's got *to the point, in last sentence.

"If you're worried about your friends judging you for your taste in music, you either need to see someone about your self-confidence issues, or you simply need some broader-minded friends.

Like I stated, the shame and chagrin is my friends' problem. Not mine.

Heh. Well, I have two groups of friends—friends that are "into" music, and friends who aren't, really. While I occasionally take chaff from my pals who are into music (musicians, djs, etc.), they're usually down for listening to whatever and rolling with it, because they're fairly eclectic in their tastes themselves, and if they don't like it they'll let me know, but they'll have cogent reasons and it's not a big deal.

Then I have a fair coterie of friends that I can't talk about music at all with. They tend toward the indie snobbish, and can't understand why I'd listen to skronk jazz or noise or hardcore or metal or bubblegum or top 40 pop. They just want to tell me how fucking great the new Spoon album is, or Arcade Fire, or whoever else is at the top of the NPR pops. These are the ones who have the freakouts about something being unlistenable or "not music" or whatever, and it just rankles the hair on my ass so much more. So I don't bother trying to engage 'em on music. It's not a big deal; I am politely non-committal with my opinions on the new Radiohead or Wilco while they gush about it, and I don't bother playing music that I think will freak them out while they're around. Every now and then, I get called out for having my iTunes on shuffle, but just because they don't like something that I do doesn't make them terrible people.

I just wish that when they talked about music, it didn't sound like they were seeking my approval for what they want to listen to.

"i have to wait until my dad's out of the house to play my donna summer records. he's perfectly fine with merzbow, diamanda galas, and even daft punk, but for some reason he can't stand donna summer."

Heh. This sounds exactly like my dad—he got a bee up his ass about disco, like, 30 years ago and hasn't let it go yet. I totally don't understand it, but he simply hates the disco beat (and pretty much all subsequent dance music).

Though I wish I had more friends that I could hang out with and listen to all those ambient/drone/metal/noise/dark/weird/experimental/freak/etc albums that I only listen to by myself.

move to austin tx!

haha! man stephen if you ever get to dc we gotta get some beers and listen to some mille plateaux or sun city girls or om or swans or whatever. you sound like a bro.