Best rhyming lyrics ever

Loud-o Blainblight "The Swimming Song"

*verse 2*
I'm outspoken--
my language is broken into a slang
but it's just a dialect that I select when I hang
I play it cool--cuz coolin is all that I'm about
just foolin wit tha girlies, yes I'm bustin it out
I'm Special Ed and you can tell by the style that I use
I'm creatively superior, yo--I never lose
I never lost cuz I'm the boss
I never will cuz I'm still
the champion, chief one, won't lose until--
I choose

which I won't cuz I don't retreat
I'll run you over like a truck and leave you dead in the street
You're invitin me, a titan to a battle--why?
I don't need your respect cuz I--
got it made

*verse 3*
I'm talented, yes I'm gifted
never boosted, never shoplifted
I got the cash, but maoney ain't nothin
make a million dollars every record that I cut and--
my name is Special Ed and I'm a super-duper star
ever other week I get a brand new car

Got twenty, that's plenty yet I still want more
kinda fond of honda scooters--got seventy-four
I got the riches--to fulfill my needs
got land in the sand of the West Indies
even got a little island of my very own--
I gotta frog--a dog with a solid gold bone
An accountant to account the amount I spent
gotta treaty with Tahiti cuz I own a percent
got gear out wear--to everyday
boutiques from France to the U.S.A.
and I make all the money from the rhymes I invent
so it really doesn't matter--how much I spent, because, yo
I make fresh rhymes--daily
you burn me--really?
Think, just blink and I made--a million rhymes
just imagine if you blinked-- a million times
damn I'd be paid--
I got it made

*verse 4*
I'm kinda spoiled
cuz everything I want I got made
I wanted gear--got everything from cotton to suede
I wanted lead--I didn't beg I just got laid
My hair was growin too long, so I got me a fade
and when my dishes got dirty, I got Cascade
when the weather was hot, I got a spot in the shade
I'm wise because I rise to the top of my grade
wanted peace on Earth, so to God I prayed
Some kids across town thought I was afraid
they couldn't harm me--
I got the army brigade
I'm not a trader
if what you got is greater I'll trade
but maybe later cuz my waiter made potato -n- alligator souflee--
I got it made

I say again, HOW FUCKING AWESOME is the new OutKast?

Generals gathered in their masses
just like witches at black masses

Bob, If you see her, say hello

Say the 1st one aloud -- maybe he's an annoying novelty musician or whatever, but this lyric is plain amazing!

"My dandy voice makes the most anti-choice grannies' panties moist."
~ MC Paul Barman

"Her name was Sally but they all called her Sal Mineo /
she was lit up like an arson but she burned out like Arsenio"
~ Lifter Puller

billy bragg

-- Two Nice Girls

Isn't it a pity that in this big city

Not a one a'little bitty man'll admit he

Could have been a little bit wrong

or

And A&R?
It don't spell A-R-T
Music is cheap, so mine shall be
I keep it surreal cos I don't take reality seriously
I'm serious, G
cos I can't sit still
and I can't chill
and no I can't kill
the will
to be an imbecile

Nice & Smooth - Hip Hop Junkies

I never thought it would happen
With me and the girl from clapham
Out on a windy common
That night I ain’t forgotten
When she dealt out the rations
With some or other passions
I said you are a lady
Perhaps she said I may be
We moved into a basement
With thoughts of our engagement
We stayed in by the telly
Although the room was smelly
We spent our time just kissing
The railway arms we’re missing
But love had got us hooked up
And all our time it took up

I got a job with stanley
He said I’d come in handy
And started me on monday
So I had a bath on sunday
I worked eleven hours
And bought the girl some flowers
She said she’d seen a doctor
And nothing now could stop her

I worked all through the winter
The weather brass and bitter
I put away a tenner
Each week to make her better
And when the time was ready
We had to sell the telly
Late evenings by the fire
With little kicks inside her

This morning at 4:50
I took her rather nifty
Down to an incubator
Where thirty minutes later
She gave birth to a daughter
Within a year a walker
She looked just like her mother
If there could be another

And now she’s two years older
Her mother’s with a soldier
She left me when my drinking
Became a proper stinging
The devil came and took me
From bar to street to bookie
No more nights by the telly
No more nights nappies smelling

Alone here in the kitchen
I feel there’s something missing
I’d beg for some forgiveness
But begging’s not my business
And she won’t write a letter
Although I always tell her
And so it’s my assumption
I’m really up the junction

"What do you get when you kiss a girl
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia
And when you do, she'll never phone ya"

"It had to start somewhere / So it started... [beat] there."

Indeed ... and the classic near-rhyme:

"Some people try to pick up girls and get called asshole
This never happened to Pablo Picasso"

Another king of the so goofy it makes me grin rhyme is Peter Prescott (Volcano Suns, primarily, better known as drummer for Mission of Burma)

"I wanna make the whole world grow
Just like Barry Manilow" (Bumper Crop)

"Hallelujah ... a dab'll do ya!" and

"Throw your hands into the air
Make sure they don't get stranded there" (both from Testify)

there are many more ...

(Ben Folds' version is the one)