Lamest Punchlines to Music-related Jokes

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

1) "Merzbow"

2) "Merzbox"

― Mark (MarkR), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 18:32 (twenty-two years ago)

3) The drummer

― Pablo Cruise (chaki), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 18:41 (twenty-two years ago)

4) No, Mom-YOU, fucker!

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 18:41 (twenty-two years ago)

5) Then why don't we keep it that way?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 18:42 (twenty-two years ago)

6)Pixies play Bumbershoot in Seattle

― pete s, Tuesday, 16 March 2004 18:45 (twenty-two years ago)

7) Drool

― Sym (shmuel), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 18:46 (twenty-two years ago)

8) One blew this way, one blew the other.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 18:46 (twenty-two years ago)

9)That was no ladle, that was my knife!

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 18:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Anything relating to cowbells.

― Broheems (diamond), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 18:47 (twenty-two years ago)

10) Superfuzz

11) Bigmuff

― Mark (MarkR), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 18:49 (twenty-two years ago)

12) answer the door & pay for the pizza

― autovac (autovac), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 20:44 (twenty-two years ago)

13) Sam Clam's Disco

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 20:47 (twenty-two years ago)

14. You lift'er/pull'er, you brought'er!

― dave225 (Dave225), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 20:48 (twenty-two years ago)

15) A tuba in a trashcan

― Pablo Cruise (chaki), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 21:27 (twenty-two years ago)

then why don't you let them sing it?

― ben tausig (datageneral), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 21:40 (twenty-two years ago)

16), I meant to add.

― ben tausig (datageneral), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 21:41 (twenty-two years ago)

twisted sister

― Nik (Nik), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 22:10 (twenty-two years ago)

"When the drums stop, bass solo starts"

― Andrew L (Andrew L), Tuesday, 16 March 2004 23:22 (twenty-two years ago)

17) "The Titanic had a good band."

― Dr Benway (dr benway), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 10:06 (twenty-two years ago)

That sounds like a great joke.

― Sym (shmuel), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 10:07 (twenty-two years ago)

18) This is a travel agency.

19) His amp.

― Dr. Annabel Lies (Michael Kelly), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 10:13 (twenty-two years ago)

20) A drummer.

20) Just one, so long as a roadie gets the ladder, sets it up and puts the bulb in the socket for him.

22) His personality.

23) Homeless.

24) The drools running evenly out of both sides of the drummer's mouth.

25) You only have to punch the information into a drum machine once.

26) A chiropodist bucks up your feet.

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 10:36 (twenty-two years ago)

27) His Bill Withers

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 10:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I know what you're thinking but I'm not a drummer, honest (so I probably s/be aware that the number between 20 and 22 is 21.....)

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 10:37 (twenty-two years ago)

28) I thought you had 20-20 vision...

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 10:39 (twenty-two years ago)

29) The knocking keeps speeding up and slowing down and he doesn't know when to come in.

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 10:44 (twenty-two years ago)

joke to 27 only works if you're in the soul section and hold up a withers album at the punchline, in which case everyone dies laughing... otherwise massive dud cos NO-ONE knows who bill withers is, really, unless you hum "just the two of us" by which time attention has shifted elsewhere...

― Dr. Annabel Lies (Michael Kelly), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 10:47 (twenty-two years ago)

but yeah, as threaded, it's lame.

― Dr. Annabel Lies (Michael Kelly), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 10:48 (twenty-two years ago)

t'k you

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 10:52 (twenty-two years ago)

otherwise massive dud cos NO-ONE knows who bill withers is, really, unless you hum "just the two of us" by which time attention has shifted elsewhere...

Everyone knows who Bill Withers is! Dagnabbit.

― Dadaismus (Dada), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 10:53 (twenty-two years ago)

"NO-ONE knows who bill withers is, really, unless you hum "just the two of us" by which time attention has shifted elsewhere..."

What absolute nonsense!

You could hum "Lean On Me", "Ain't No Sunshine", "Use Me" or "Lovely Day" - and people would still ask "Who Is He? (And What Is He to You?)"

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 10:56 (twenty-two years ago)

"Lovely Day" you have to do the 'remix' with the extra 'hey hey' bits from Art of Noise...

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 10:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Everyone knows who Bill Withers is! Dagnabbit.
Alright, YOU fuxorz try telling this joke at Neiman Marcus on yr coffee break, trying to score foxes in spring-crush weather.. Case rested.

30) A viola burns longer.

― Dr. Annabel Lies (Michael Kelly), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 10:58 (twenty-two years ago)

trying to score foxes in spring-crush weather

I don't know what the fuck this means but it has a poetic quality my heart swells to

― Dadaismus (Dada), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 11:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Are they lyrics from the keyboard player's solo album maybe?

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 11:06 (twenty-two years ago)

no goobers it means withers-ignorant lippy dept chicks in tight fitted skirts courtesy of wax-melting temperatures need easier comprendo hee-haw to drop trou! saying everyone's gonna get microwaved-duck jokes is equiv to saying dagmar krause is on jerry garcia's tattooed fans' playing field.

― Dr. Annabel Lies (Michael Kelly), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 11:11 (twenty-two years ago)

31) Art Bears.

― Dr. Annabel Lies (Michael Kelly), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 11:14 (twenty-two years ago)

one-nil to the foxes, I reckon...

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 11:15 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm totally confused now - are we saying that Dagmar Krause is on Jerry Garcia's tattooed fans' playing field or that she's not; and if she is, what game's she playing?

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 11:18 (twenty-two years ago)

No, the doctor is saying it's futile.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 11:24 (twenty-two years ago)

one-nil to the foxes, I reckon...

EXACTLY - it doesn't get more anti-social than bringing up bill withers in polite company, especially during elevenses, you early rising maniacs. I'm actually out of red wine at the mo. It's pre-legal purchase hour.

As for the Dagmar ref no way is she on the same green - you gonna point to a deadhead's ankle and go "oooooh psychedelic art bears" and expect them to whistle "rats and monkeys"? the game she plays I expect is jai-alai. SER-VIIIIIICE!!!!

― Dr. Annabel Lies (Michael Kelly), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 11:26 (twenty-two years ago)

NoI wouldn't expect that. Futility. case closed.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 11:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Glad we've got that all cleared that up.

Now, where were we?

32)
a) Lawn mowers sound better in small ensemles.
b) The neighbors are upset if you borrow a lawnmower and don't return it.
c) The grip.

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 11:37 (twenty-two years ago)

33) New Age music

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 11:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Phew.

34) Oh, are you saying you haven't heard this yet?

― Dr. Annabel Lies (Michael Kelly), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 11:41 (twenty-two years ago)

33) tie two cats together by their tails.

― jigue (jigue), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 13:59 (twenty-two years ago)

36)the bass gets a solo.

― JC-L (JC-L), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 14:39 (twenty-two years ago)

37) hey, mcleod, get offa my ewe!

― emsk, Wednesday, 17 March 2004 17:44 (twenty-two years ago)

(i learned last week that mcleod is pronounced "mc-cloud", not "mc-lee-odd")

― emsk, Wednesday, 17 March 2004 17:44 (twenty-two years ago)

let's do one of *my* songs

― ken taylrr, Wednesday, 17 March 2004 17:47 (twenty-two years ago)

39. "I've heard of re-mastering, but this is ridiculous!"

― Myonga Von Bontee (Myonga Von Bontee), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 18:17 (twenty-two years ago)

40. "I thought you said this was a 50 cent concert"

― Vinnie (vprabhu), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 18:31 (twenty-two years ago)

41. Linda McCartney

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 19:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Of topic... But will somebody post the link to that U2 "The Edge" joke that showed up on ILX a year ago or so??

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 20:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Off topic. also Thread Killed.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Wednesday, 17 March 2004 22:20 (twenty-two years ago)

two months pass...

- "Golden Delicious because she's ALL YELLOOOWWW!"

- something about Chris planting his seed.

― dog latin (dog latin), Monday, 17 May 2004 22:56 (twenty-one years ago)

42. "No anchovies please"

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Monday, 17 May 2004 23:01 (twenty-one years ago)

43. Because the earth is flat.

― Ian Johnson (orion), Monday, 17 May 2004 23:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Cum on Eileen

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Tuesday, 18 May 2004 03:41 (twenty-one years ago)

They can't find the right key

― coco, Tuesday, 18 May 2004 14:38 (twenty-one years ago)

thirteen years pass...

he doesn't know when to come in

― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 4 April 2018 15:49 (seven years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.