Only a Spudboy Looking For a Real Tomato: The Potato in Popular Music

It's the latest, it's the greatest,
Mashed Potato, ya, ya ,ya

A Mashed Potato started long time ago
With a guy named Sloppy Joe,
You'll find this dance is so cool to do,
Come on baby, gonna teach it to you.

Mashed Potato, feel it in your feet now,
Mashed Potato, come on get the beat now,
Baby, come on honey, come on baby.

And then they dance it through and through,
They look for records they can do it to,
They got a dance was outta sight,
Doin' the lion sleeps tonight.

Mashed Potato, Ya a weem o wep a weem o wep,
Mashed Potato, ya, ya, ya, ya,
It's the latest, aw baby,
It's the greatest, come on honey,

Ya, ya ya, ya,

Now everybody is doin' fine,
They dance alone or in a big boss line,
And they discovered it's the most, man,
The day they did it to Please Mr. Postman.

Mashed Potato, wait a minute, wait a minute,
Mashed Potato, deliver de letter,
It's the latest, come on baby,
It's the greatest, oh honey,
Ya, ya, ya, ya.

Well they got with more and more,
Ya ought to see 'em around the floor,
The Mashed Potato ??????????
They even do it to Dear Lady Twist.

Mashed Potato, ya, ya, ya, ya,
It's the latest, come on baby,
It's the greatest, oh honey,
Mashed potato, feel the groovy beat now.

I like my steak well done, my taters fried
Football games on Monday night
It´s just who I am
A meat and potato man

I like my coffee black
Old TV shows
My women hot and my beer ice cold
It´s just who I am
A meat and potato man

I don´t like caviar, sushi bars,
The IRS or phony stars
I´m a Haggard fan
A meat and potato man

I like my fishin´ holes, lightnin´ bugs
Flatt ´n Scruggs, and my woman´s love
It´s just who I am
A meat and potato man

I like my wrangler jeans, cowboy boots
Cornbread and beans and country roots
It´s just who I am
A meat and potato man

I don´t like politics, hypocrites
Folks with poodles dressed like kids
I´m a hounddog fan
A meat and potato man
eah, that´s what I am,
a meat and potato man.

1 potato, 2 potato, 3 potato, 4
(1 - 2 - 3- 4)

{ Treach }
You fly high...
I heard your tape, then flipped the next side lookin for the def side
You couldn't be alright if I erased your left side
Who's wet dried when Treach tried, next died
I'm gonna slide your wet wide, so step side
Any dull raps get the skull caps pulled back full breeze
Blastin your ass back at full speed
Hoes in flow, you know, bimbo
And won't stop prayin and playin until I'm layin up in fo'
Nowhere to run, nowhere to go
I got a solid hip below the belt to make your nuts not grow
Here's to all crews that been wack
I got a thinkin cap with raps I attached with a chin strap
Flash past your girl who's def in the flesh
Yes, you can't believe that she said "Treach"
The wicked-a-wicked-a-wully-bully
Bad and fully and surely bad
Ready and willy gettin ???? glad
Dissed in hell and fell in fire
I attack your back, force you to retire with a wet wire
Give you the whip appeal like Toby
Listen, oldie but goldie
Take the dough from all who owe me

1 potato, 2 potato, 3 potato, 4
(1 - 2 - 3- 4)

{ Freddie Foxxx }
If a rapper disrespect me I smack him in his mouth
I tow him in a yoke, grab him by his throat - boom! then I knock him out
I keep heat and keep the clips in my sock
When my glock get hot you punk niggas better leave the block
Yeah, Freddie Foxxx on a rampage
Every time I touch the mic the police is standin front stage
Cause I been labelled as a troublemaker
I send my baddest girl to your house to play the heart breaker
She'll lay you down and put hickeys on your chest
Then turn around and blast you with a .33 shot Tec
You couldn't rap, you was wack from the get-go
So you got bumped off by my head hoe
Called by the Militant Mack, my mentality is jail
Long as I'm strapped I can't fail
Check this, I take the bass and I bust you in the eye with it
A piece of steel with a screen on top, I'm gettin fly with it
I'm bringin suckers to the street again
Cause them same broke-ass niggas ridin on my meat again
Mr. Microphone flipped the beat again
Suckers got caught with the rhyme, felt the heat again
I'm breakin it down, lettin you know I'm never lettin go
I beat your brother down, punk, just to let you know
This is hip-hop, gee, not 'hit pop'
You mess around with the beats, get your boots knocked
I'ma slide, I'm in her when I see you suckers later
As I pass the mic like a hot potato

1 potato, 2 potato, 3 potato, 4
(1 - 2 - 3- 4)

{ Treach }
Shrimps attempt to get pimped when playin pimp, why
Sleepin with a limp eye
Pass the hot potato, Treach done ???? chop to french fries
Mad as a murder vet, man, it'll hurt a set
Well, to hell with you and your fat-o with the gurtle neck
So ol' golddigger, dig some dirt, there you have it
Want ring or a marriage, go get the carrot from a rabbit
Before I stab him for his lucky foot
Hit him with a puffy hook, hit the hare, now look how lucky looks
I'm not a chip on your shoulder, I'm a boulder on a path
Left a gash, you catch a headache in your ass
Class I'm disrespectin, I won't see you trippin, clown
Shh - when I do, you be trippin, slippin and fallin down
All's left to call cops
When I smack you with a leather wig and make you suckers suede bald spots
Chip-chop, flip the hip-hop, I chuckle
You couldn't knock boots with a muthafuckin knuckle
It's on, what's more, talk and get a boo-boo from your jaw
It's easy as 1-2-3-4

1 potato, 2 potato, 3 potato, 4
(1 - 2 - 3- 4)

{ Treach }
That's what I'm talkin 'bout
Word up
4 potatos
4 verses
Some hard rough stuff for all those hungry MC's out there, youknowmsayin?
{ Freddie Foxxx }
Yeah baby
Nothin commercial about this
The Militant Mack in the house
And I got a right hand for all that try to stand in my face and front
Believe that
And I'm comin straight from the streets
Word up

The world is big, so big, so very big! To you, it's new, it's new to you!

You're my little potato, you're my little potato,
You're my little potato, they dug you up,
You come from underground!

Let's talk about root crops (they dug you),
And lamb chops (they chew on you),
And things to eat...like apples and cheese and 'nanas and cream,
Jellies and butter, it's late at night, I hope this little bottle helps you go to sleep!

They must have grown you wild, you make a grown man a child,
I’ll go and play in the mud to be with you my spud (potato).
When you came out looking red as a beet,
You had wrinkles on the bottoms of your feet!

Oh, you are so sweet potato!
You're my sweet potato, you're my sweet potato, dug you up!
You come from underground!

You smile, a smile, a little smile!
The world is small, so small, it's very small!

You're my little potato, you're my little potato, you're my little potato, they dug you up,
You come from underground!

You're my little potato, you're my little potato, you're my little potato!

They're red, they're white, they're brown
They get that way underground
There can't be much to do
So now they have blue ones too

/ G - / - D / - - / - G /

We don't care what thay look like we'll eat them
Any way they can fit on our plate
Every way we can conjure to heat them
We're delighted and think they're just great

{Refrain}
PO ta to po ta to po ta to po
ta to po ta to po ta to po ta
to po ta to po ta to po ta to
po ta to po ta to po ta to

Sometimes we ditch the skin
To eat what it's holding in
Sometimes we'd rather please
Have just the outside with cheese

They have eyes but they do not have faces
I don't know if their feelings get hurt
By just hanging around in dark places
Where they only can stare at the dirt

{Refrain}

I guess the use is scant
For other parts of the plant
But that which grows in view
Is eating potato too

I imagine them under their acres
Out in Idaho and up in Maine
Maybe wondering if they'll be bakers
Or knishes or latkes or plain

{Refrain}
-potay-topotay-topotay-topotay-topotato!

[Cho:]
Oh, no, don't slay that potato!
Let us be merciful, please.
Don't boil it or fry it, don't even freeze-dry it.
Don't slice it or flake it.
For God's sake, don't bake it!
Don't shed the poor blood,
Of this poor helpless spud.
That's the worst kind of thing you could do.
Oh, no, don't slay that potato,
What never done nothing to you!

Why not try picking on something your size,
Instead of some carrot or bean?
The peas are all trembling there in their pod,
Just because you're so vicious and mean.
How would you like to be grabbed by your hair,
And ruthlessly yanked from your bed,
And have done to you God knows what horrible things,
To be eaten with full-fiber bread?

[Cho:]

It's no bed of roses, this vegetable life.
You're basically stuck in the mud.
You don't get around much. You don't see the sights,
When you're a carrot or celery or spud.
You're helpless when somebody's flea-bitten dog,
Takes a notion to pause for relief.
Then somebody picks you and cleans you and eats you,
And causes you nothing but grief.

[Cho:]

There ought to be some way of saving our skins.
They ought to be passing a law.
Just show anybody a cute little lamb,
And they'll all stand around and go "Aw!"
Well, potatoes are ugly. Potatoes are plain.
We're wrinkled and lumpy to boot.
But give me a break, kid. Do you mean to say,
That you'll eat us because we're not cute?

[Cho:]

Got mashed potatoes
Got mashed potatoes
Got mashed potatoes
Got mashed potatoes
Ain't got no T-Bone

Got mashed potatoes
Got mashed potatoes
Got mashed potatoes
Ain't got no T-Bone
Ain't got no T-Bone

Got mashed potatoes
Got mashed potatoes
Got mashed potatoes
Ain't got no T-Bone
Ain't got no T-Bone
T-Bone

Got mashed potatoes
Got mashed potatoes
Got mashed potatoes
Ain't got no T-Bone
Ain't got no T-Bone
Ain't got no T-Bone
Ain't got no T-Bone
No T-Bone

Got mashed potatoes
Got mashed potatoes
Got mashed potatoes
Ain't got no T-Bone
Ain't got no T-Bone

Ain't got no T-Bone
Ain't got no T-Bone
Ain't got no T-Bone

Ain't got no T-Bone

Got mashed potatoes
Got mashed potatoes
Got mashed potatoes
Ain't got no T-Bone

Got mashed potatoes
Got mashed potatoes
Got mashed potatoes
Ain't got no T-Bone
Ain't got no T-Bone
Ain't got no T-Bone
Ain't got no T-Bone
Ain't got no T-Bone

Neil Young - "T-Bone"

--james brown, "papa's got a brand new bag"

--george clinton

Chorus:
Well it's Bud the Spud, from the bright red mud,
Rollin' down the highway smilin',
The spuds are big on the back of Bud's rig,
There from Prince Edward Island,
There from Prince Edward Island.

Now from Charlottetown, or from Summerside,
They load him up for the long long ride;
He jumps in the cab and he's off with the Pride Sebagoes.
He's gotta catch a boat to make Tormentine,
Then he hits up that old New Brunswick line,
Through Montreal he comes just a flyin'
With another big load of potatoes.

Chorus

Well, the cops have been lookin' for the son of a gun
That's been rippin' the tar off the four-O-one;
They know the name on the truck shines up in the sun --
"Green Gables."
But he hits Toronto and at seven o'clock,
He backs her up again at the terminal dock,
And the boys gather `round just to hear him talk
About another big load of potatoes.

"Hey bud."

Is that you callin'

"Ya Bud, what are you haulin'?"

Got another big load of the best potatoes that's ever been growed.

"Where are they from?"

They're from Prince Edward Island.

"Where?"

They're from Prince Edward Island.

"Oh, do you like potatoes?"

Do I like potatoes? I like:
Mashed potatoes
Boiled potatoes
Scalloped potato
Whipped potato
Curried potato
French-fried potatoes
Baked potato

"Hash browns!"

Potato chips
Potato roti
Potato soup
Potato salad
Potato knish
Potato pari
Potato gelatti
Potato fritters
Potato pancakes

"Buddy, oh I want a potato pancake!"

Chorus

Now I know a lot of people from east to west
And they like the spuds from the island best,
`Cause they stand up to the hardest test --
Right at the table;
So when you see that old truck rolling by,
Kinda wave your hand or wink your eye,
`Cause that's Bud the Spud, from P.E.I.
With another big load
He's got another big load
He's got another big load of potatoes!

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drf600/f680/f68099aded3.jpg

Parmesian carrots with mushrooms
Frankly that I've never been keen on
It's pumpkin soup and mashed potatoes
That's for my Hallowe'en tea
Pumpkin soup and mashed potatoes
That has always been my dream

Physicians moan about the guarantees of vegetables
But to be frank what I'm keen on is that same old scene
Pumpkin soup and mashed potatoes
That is my Hallowe'en tea
Pumpkin soup and mashed potatoes
That's why I'm always keen
Pumpkin soup and mashed potatoes
They'll keep me clean
Pumpkin soup and mashed potatoes

I'm old, not much, but I'm going mad
Because of the starvation that I've had
Clouds rush by
But I always have my dream

Pumpkin soup and mashed potatoes
That is my hallowe'en tea
Pumpkin soup and mashed potatoes

Oh a little wish bone, I'll make a
wish for a potato
Oh a little wish bone, I'll make a
wish for a potato
I make a wish ...
For a potato ...

Pickin' out the fish bones in my
perch from Lake Champlain
Pickin' out the fish bones, in my
perch from Lake Champlain
All those perch ...
All those bones ...

Cookin' up tortillas, so much fun,
when you got a bowl of beans
Cookin' up tortillas, so much fun,
when you got a bowl of beans
So much fun ...
Bowl of beans ...

When we make spaghetti
everybody gathers round
and they eat it by the pound
When we make spaghetti
everybody gathers round
and they eat it by the pound
They all gather round ...
They eat it by the pound ...

We fill up our guts, then we turn it
into shit, then we get rid of it
We fill up our guts, then we turn it
into shit, then we get rid of it
Turn it into shit ...
We get rid of it ...

Oh I see the dishes over there,
they fill me with despair
Oh I see the dishes over there,
they fill me with despair
Dishes over there ...
They fill me with despair ...

Also, do Karen Finley's crammed yams count?