Will This Do?

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Following on from this fine thread's indictment of pisspoor lazy hackery, let's invent some examples of our own:

"'Marquee Moon' is the debut album of Television, a four-piece from New York who take their name from an electronic apparatus that receives visual images of moving and stationary objects, generally with accompanying sound, as electromagnetic waves and reconverts and displays the images on a screen"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 10:40 (twenty-two years ago)

25p per word, is it?

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 10:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Twenty things you did not know about OASIS

1. They are from Manchester
2. Two of the band are Brothers.
3. err, twenty?

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 10:43 (twenty-two years ago)

4. Patsy Kensit
5. Laddishness
6. Fighting
7. They're bigger than Jesus
8. Eyebrows
9. All saints
10. Drugs

― hmmm (hmmm), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 10:55 (twenty-two years ago)

11-20 Conveniently timed press stories about drugs, fighting and all saints

― hmmm (hmmm), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 11:02 (twenty-two years ago)

The White Stripes are a dynamic twosome from the Motor City of Detroit Michigan, and are wittily named for a style of patterned markings that you may have previously noticed on zebras, barber shop poles, and prison jumpsuits.

― Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 11:22 (twenty-two years ago)

"Elephant Man seemingly takes his name from David Lynch's masterly 1981 black and white film starring John Hurt in the title role. Whether or not 'Ele' (as his fans call him) is drawing attention to the human condition and man's intolerance for difference is, however, unclear (to me) as all his songs are delivered in indecipherable Jamaican patter."

― zebedee (zebedee), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 11:38 (twenty-two years ago)

four years pass...

Bosko Balaban Stats For Season
Name Bosko Balaban
Team Aston Villa
Total Appearances 0
Starts 0
Substituted 0
Total Minutes Played 0
Avg Minutes Played Per Start 0
Goals 0
Avg Goal Mins When Starting 0.0
Avg Mins Played/Goal Scored 0
Goals Scored As Sub 0
Number of Bookings 0
Total Booking Minutes 0
Avg Bookings Per Start 0
Number of Red Cards 0
Total Red Card Minutes 0
Avg Red Cards Per Start 0
Avg Booking Minutes When Starting 0.0

― and what, Sunday, 19 October 2008 21:40 (seventeen years ago)

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