thank you Rolling Stone for FINALLY listing the 50 Greatest Artists of All Time!

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That's right! Never before has a list assembled so many great artists in one place. Each artist gets an essay from other GREAT artists extolling their virtues! LISTEN to what John Mayer says about Jimi Hendrix!

"Hendrix invented a kind of cool. The cool of a big conch-shell belt. The cool of boots that your jeans are tucked into. If Jimi Hendrix is an influence on somebody, you can immediately tell. Give me a guy who's got some kind of weird-ass goatee and an applejack hat, and you just go, 'He got to you, didn't he?'"

And other thrilling thoughts! I don't want to spoil the suspense of who number one is, you'll just have to scroll down and find out for yourself!!!

1) The Beatles(!!!) by Elvis Costello
2) Bob Dylan by Robbie Robertson
3) Elvis Presley by Bono
4) The Rolling Stones by Steven Van Zandt
5) Chuck Berry by Joe Perry
6) Jimi Hendrix by John Mayer
7) James Brown by Rick Rubin
8) Little Richard by Little Richard
9) Aretha Franklin by Jerry Wexler
10) Ray Charles by Van Morrison
11) Bob Marley by Wyclef Jean
12) The Beach Boys by Lindsey Buckingham
13) Buddy Holly by John Mellencamp
14) Led Zeppelin by David Grohl
15) Stevie Wonder by Elton John
16) Sam Cooke by Art Garfunkel
17) Muddy Watters by Billy Gibbons
18) Marvin Gaye by Smokey Robinson
19) The Velvet Underground by Julian Casablancas
20) Bo Diddley by Iggy Pop
21) Otis Redding by Steve Cropper
22) U2 by Chris Martin
23) Bruce Springsteen by Jackson Browne
24) Jerry Lee Lewis by Moby
25) Fats Domino by Dr. John
26) The Ramones by Lenny Kaye
27) Nirvana by Vernon Reid
28) Prince by Ahmir Thompson
29) The Who by Eddie Vedder
30) The Clash by The Edge
31) Johnny Cash by Kris Kristofferson
32) Smokey Robinson and the Miracles by Bob Seger
33) The Everly Brothers by Paul Simon
34) Neil Young by Flea
35) Michael Jackson by Antonio "LA" Reid
36) Madonna by Britney Spears
37)Roy Orbison by K.D. Lang
38) John Lennon by Lenny Kravitz
39) David Bowie by Lou Reed
40) Simon and Garfunkel by James Taylor
41) The Doors by Marilyn Manson
42) Van Morrison by Peter Wolf
43) Sly and the Family Stone by Don Was
44) Public Enemy by Adam Yauch
45) The Byrds by Tom Petty
46) Janis Joplin by Rosanne Cash
47) Patti Smith by Shirley Manson
48) Run-DMC by Chuck D
49) Elton John by Billy Joel
50) The Band by Lucinda Williams

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 26 March 2004 21:29 (twenty-two years ago)

OF ALL THE MOTHERFUCKERS THEY COULDA GOT TO WRITE ABOUT HENDRIX WHY!?!?!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 26 March 2004 21:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Nirvana by Vernon Reid

This could be fucking awesome though. Vernon is a great writer.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 26 March 2004 21:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Madonna deserves better. I like Britney as a singer, but as a writer?

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Friday, 26 March 2004 21:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh man, I'd love to read Lindsey on the BBs!! Doesn't appear to be online, though. I'm gonna have to peep this at the grocery store.

― Broheems (diamond), Friday, 26 March 2004 21:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Little Richard by Little Richard

ha ha!

― pete s, Friday, 26 March 2004 21:37 (twenty-two years ago)

thank god the list is comprised of older stuff. i HATE the usual "top 20 greatest rock record" lists full of hoobastank and pearl jam and shit.

not that the above is perfect, whatever that is, but it's to get fuckin realistic for once.
m.

― msp, Friday, 26 March 2004 21:41 (twenty-two years ago)

this would be a lot cooler if they cut up all the names and dropped them in a hat, picking the pairings at random. otherwise, why bother reading most of it?

― dleone (dleone), Friday, 26 March 2004 21:41 (twenty-two years ago)

ah fuck. it's nice to put all the words in a sentence for once too.
m.

(referring to my post.)

― msp, Friday, 26 March 2004 21:42 (twenty-two years ago)

How can anyone in their right mind list Nirvana above Prince?????? I mean, everyone else I can see an argument for regardless of how tenuous I personally may feel it is (specifically looking at The Ramones and Otis Redding with that comment) but NIRVANA???????

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 26 March 2004 21:43 (twenty-two years ago)

And Washington Irving read by someone called Dr. J ...

― Josh in Chicago (Josh in Chicago), Friday, 26 March 2004 21:45 (twenty-two years ago)

But seriously, how long are the testimonials? Longer than Mayer's, I hope, though if they were of the same quality I say fuck 'em all.

― Josh in Chicago (Josh in Chicago), Friday, 26 March 2004 21:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd like to see what Flea has to say about Neil Young and Lou Reed about Bowie. But uh, Tom Petty on the Byrds? And is that The Velvet Underground by Julian Casablancas?

― danh, Friday, 26 March 2004 21:47 (twenty-two years ago)

You were expecting him to write about Television?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 26 March 2004 21:48 (twenty-two years ago)

U2 by Chris Martin

Hahahahahaha!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 26 March 2004 21:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, I'd like to read Vernon's piece, and to a lesser extent Dave Grohl on Led Zep. Haha, Rick Rubin on James Brown. It's kind of funny that they have people on the list commenting on other people, like Chuck D. on Run DMC.

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 26 March 2004 21:50 (twenty-two years ago)

At first I got my hopes up and thought that Edge of the WWE was going to write about the Clash. "Some say Sandinista stank of excess, but I believe it reeked of awesomeness!"

I can't get mad at this list: NO EAGLES.

― Nate in ST.P (natedetritus), Friday, 26 March 2004 21:51 (twenty-two years ago)

No Sabbath and no token jazz, interesting.

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 26 March 2004 21:53 (twenty-two years ago)

wait, no Sabbath? OK, back to being mad at the list. (ALSO NO P-FUNK WHAT THE FUCK)

― Nate in ST.P (natedetritus), Friday, 26 March 2004 21:55 (twenty-two years ago)

no Capt. Beefheart = this list is crap

― o. nate (onate), Friday, 26 March 2004 21:56 (twenty-two years ago)

29) The Who by Eddie Vedder

Surely they've suffered enough in the past few years?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 26 March 2004 21:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Could it be that RS did not actually pick the fifty greatest artists of all time? Oh the shock etc

― Sym (shmuel), Friday, 26 March 2004 21:58 (twenty-two years ago)

8. Little Richard by Little Richard

oh come now!

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Friday, 26 March 2004 21:58 (twenty-two years ago)

8) Little Richard by Little Richard

Single, sole vaguely decent idea. They should've done it with all of them, and the dead ones would just have to be contacted through ouija boards or something.

(xpost!)

― The Lex (The Lex), Friday, 26 March 2004 21:58 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm really hope little richard's article on himself resembles buddyheads Vincent Gallo piece.

― Felonious Drunk (Felcher), Friday, 26 March 2004 22:00 (twenty-two years ago)

It would have been better if instead of essays they'd had each person do a song about the featured artist. Then they could have put all the mp3s up on their web site.

― o. nate (onate), Friday, 26 March 2004 22:12 (twenty-two years ago)

also, i'd love to see an onion-point-counterpoint style essay written by jimi about mayer.

― Felonious Drunk (Felcher), Friday, 26 March 2004 22:15 (twenty-two years ago)

I think we're all conveniently ignoring the fac that the Great Debate has finally been put to rest and the Beatles have been anointed as they Best Artist of ALL TIME.

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 26 March 2004 22:16 (twenty-two years ago)

"Mayer invented a kind of bland. The bland of a short-sleeve Polo shirt. The bland of Skecher shoes with beige khakis. If John Mayer is an influence on somebody, you can immediately tell. Give me a guy who's got some kind of boring-ass haircut and plays acoustic folkie "woe is me, you're really hot" type music, and you just go, 'He got to you, didn't he?'"

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 26 March 2004 22:20 (twenty-two years ago)

The articles for the top 10 are here.

― alan banana (alan_banana), Friday, 26 March 2004 22:26 (twenty-two years ago)

die rolling stone die

― Shakey Mo Collier, Friday, 26 March 2004 22:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Nice to see Casablancas putting that fancy education to use

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Friday, 26 March 2004 23:01 (twenty-two years ago)

No Sabbath, Pistols, or Captain Beefheart? Fuckers.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 26 March 2004 23:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Where would we be without these taste-dealers?

― 57 7th (calstars), Friday, 26 March 2004 23:48 (twenty-two years ago)

We'd be posting on the Pitchfork board.

― Vitamin Leee (Leee), Friday, 26 March 2004 23:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Neil Young...by Flea. NEIL YOUNG....by FLEA. NEIL! YOUNG! by FLEA!

Neil...Neil Young...by Flea. By Flea....By Flea.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 27 March 2004 00:01 (twenty-two years ago)

And then I noticed Julian Casablancas on the VU.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 27 March 2004 00:01 (twenty-two years ago)

and then I saw Jerry Lee Lewis by Moby.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 27 March 2004 00:04 (twenty-two years ago)

If Rolling Stone didn't exist, someone would have to invent it, in order to painfully dismember it and feed its remnants to wild dogs.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 27 March 2004 00:04 (twenty-two years ago)

This list makes me want to eat raw kittens.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Saturday, 27 March 2004 00:05 (twenty-two years ago)

"I discovered Hendrix by way of Stevie Ray Vaughan." - John Mayer

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 27 March 2004 00:08 (twenty-two years ago)

"I discovered Stevie ray vaughn by way of John Mayer" - Jimi Hendrix

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Saturday, 27 March 2004 00:09 (twenty-two years ago)

there was a Q list this week of the most influential artists in music. david bowie and kraftwerk weren't even on it. minor threat was.

― ..., Saturday, 27 March 2004 00:10 (twenty-two years ago)

*cries*

― Nate in ST.P (natedetritus), Saturday, 27 March 2004 00:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd like to hear what Questlove has to say about Prince, but it's, you know, in Rolling Stone.

― oops (Oops), Saturday, 27 March 2004 00:14 (twenty-two years ago)

there was a Q list this week of the most influential artists in music. david bowie and kraftwerk weren't even on it. minor threat was.

YEAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! VICTORY IS MINE!!!!! sorta.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 27 March 2004 00:15 (twenty-two years ago)

51) John Mayer by Stevie Ray Vaughan's ghost.

― Gear! (Gear!), Saturday, 27 March 2004 00:36 (twenty-two years ago)

52) Wolf Eyes by Jay-Z

― LITTLE LAMB [Jon Williams] (ex machina), Saturday, 27 March 2004 00:37 (twenty-two years ago)

53) Common by Jay-Z

― Sym (shmuel), Saturday, 27 March 2004 00:50 (twenty-two years ago)

54)Liberace by RZA

― oops (Oops), Saturday, 27 March 2004 00:57 (twenty-two years ago)

55) Gary Numan by Dr. Dre

― Nate in ST.P (natedetritus), Saturday, 27 March 2004 01:08 (twenty-two years ago)

56)The Kingston Trio by Marilyn Manson

― oops (Oops), Saturday, 27 March 2004 01:09 (twenty-two years ago)

57) The Raunchy Young Lepers by me

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 27 March 2004 01:14 (twenty-two years ago)

58) Bread by Bob Mould

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 27 March 2004 01:52 (twenty-two years ago)

59) Chad and Jeremy by Belle and Sebastian

― Gear! (Gear!), Saturday, 27 March 2004 02:08 (twenty-two years ago)

60) Vanilla Fudge by Vanilla Ice

61) Michael Jackson by R. Kelly

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 27 March 2004 02:10 (twenty-two years ago)

62) R. Kelly by Gary Glitter

― Gear! (Gear!), Saturday, 27 March 2004 02:11 (twenty-two years ago)

63) Bleak House by Charles Dickens

― ..., Saturday, 27 March 2004 02:16 (twenty-two years ago)

64. I'd Like To by A Vowel

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 27 March 2004 02:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Man, watching you guys get all excited/riled up by this is probably more fun than actually reading the articles.

― Girolamo Savonarola, Saturday, 27 March 2004 02:27 (twenty-two years ago)

65) North by Northwest

― ..., Saturday, 27 March 2004 02:31 (twenty-two years ago)

66) Kraftwerk by Afrika Bambaataa

― stevem (blueski), Saturday, 27 March 2004 02:35 (twenty-two years ago)

67) Outhere Brothers by DJ Casper

― stevem (blueski), Saturday, 27 March 2004 02:36 (twenty-two years ago)

68) Blind Lemon Jefferson by Cheryl Baker

― ..., Saturday, 27 March 2004 02:39 (twenty-two years ago)

69) Palestrina by Tony Blackburn

― ..., Saturday, 27 March 2004 02:40 (twenty-two years ago)

70) John Fahey by Billie Piper

― ..., Saturday, 27 March 2004 02:42 (twenty-two years ago)

71. Charles Mingus by Thom Yorke

― cws (cws), Saturday, 27 March 2004 02:48 (twenty-two years ago)

It's all worth it for these two quotes:

"A lot of people call me the architect of rock & roll. I don't call myself that, but I believe it's true."

"I was dressing like that all the time, very flamboyantly, and I was wearing the pancake makeup. A lot of the other performers at that time -- the Cadillacs, the Coasters, the Drifters -- they were wearing makeup, too, but they didn't have any makeup kit. They had a sponge and a little compact in their pocket. I had a kit."

Little Richard is god - which is why he worships him

― Jedmond (Jedmond), Saturday, 27 March 2004 03:12 (twenty-two years ago)

72. U2 by Negativland

― fact checking cuz (fcc), Saturday, 27 March 2004 03:23 (twenty-two years ago)

FCC wins

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Saturday, 27 March 2004 03:26 (twenty-two years ago)

73. Pink Floyd by Wesley Willis

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Saturday, 27 March 2004 03:40 (twenty-two years ago)

74) Ryan Adams by Robbie Fulks

― Gear! (Gear!), Saturday, 27 March 2004 03:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Janis Joplin by Leonard Cohen

― cws (cws), Saturday, 27 March 2004 03:59 (twenty-two years ago)

76. Tiffany by Jamie Stewart

― minolta (minolta), Saturday, 27 March 2004 04:25 (twenty-two years ago)

77. Clannad by Enya

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Saturday, 27 March 2004 04:31 (twenty-two years ago)

78. Peter and Gordon by Noel Gallagher

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Saturday, 27 March 2004 05:13 (twenty-two years ago)

79. Aretha Franklin by Teena Marie

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Saturday, 27 March 2004 05:18 (twenty-two years ago)

80. Elvis Presley by Chuck D

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Saturday, 27 March 2004 05:18 (twenty-two years ago)

81. Tiny Tim by Lil Jon.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 27 March 2004 05:30 (twenty-two years ago)

82. Smashing Pumpkins by Billy Corgan

― Sym (shmuel), Saturday, 27 March 2004 06:25 (twenty-two years ago)

83. LFO by ELO
84. BBMak by B.B. King

― Prude (Prude), Saturday, 27 March 2004 06:52 (twenty-two years ago)

85) CCR by CC DeVille

― Gear! (Gear!), Saturday, 27 March 2004 07:30 (twenty-two years ago)

"And kids today are playing the same three chords, trying to play in that same style. Turn the guitars up, and it's punk rock. It's the Ramones and the Sex Pistols. That new band Jet has that vibe. I hear it in the White Stripes, too."

- Joe Perry

― David Allen (David Allen), Saturday, 27 March 2004 08:31 (twenty-two years ago)

ROCK IS BACK!

― cinniblount (James Blount), Saturday, 27 March 2004 08:34 (twenty-two years ago)

"That new band Jet has that vibe"

― Gear! (Gear!), Saturday, 27 March 2004 08:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I love the irony of Joe "Honkin' On Dianne Warren ballads" Perry finding "that vibe" in other bands' work.

btw, do they list ghostwriters for this stuff or am I actually supposed to imagine Britney Spears and Julian Casablancas sitting at Imacs trying to write these up?

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 27 March 2004 18:16 (twenty-two years ago)

"btw, do they list ghostwriters for this stuff or am I actually supposed to imagine Britney Spears and Julian Casablancas sitting at Imacs trying to write these up?"
SOP is have editors/writers interview Britney et al and then "sculpt" their comments into a piece. This practice extends to Jann Wenner's bylined articles as well. I'd guess that Elvis C gets down n dirty at the Imac for his Vanity Fair contributions but I guarantee you the RS thing was 99% "ghost written" as you describe. Not to mention heavily edited...

― lovebug starski, Saturday, 27 March 2004 18:30 (twenty-two years ago)

"OK, guys, we're on 48...WAIT! There isn't any rap on the list, throw some Run DMC on there immediately! We can't afford to look out of touch!"

― Zach Ayres (Z_Ayres), Sunday, 28 March 2004 02:12 (twenty-two years ago)

dammit, I just posted with my full name.

― Ayres (Z_Ayres), Sunday, 28 March 2004 02:14 (twenty-two years ago)

86) NWA by Tipper Gore

― Jaromil (Jaromil), Sunday, 28 March 2004 02:37 (twenty-two years ago)

87) The Dead Kennedys by Ted Kennedy

― LondonLee (LondonLee), Sunday, 28 March 2004 13:45 (twenty-two years ago)

The best thing about that issue of R.S. is all the "art" that they used instead of photographs. Some of them are really funny. Reminds me of all those R.S. illustrations from the 80's. maybe they were going for a retro thing.

― scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 28 March 2004 15:13 (twenty-two years ago)

There's also a really scary picture of Robert Plant at the hall of fame thing where he looks like a shrunken apple head.

― scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 28 March 2004 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

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