Yes piece by Dave Q

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It has already been linked to separate threads twice in just hours, but dammit, this piece still deserves it's own damn thread, so...

Here... it is.......again.............. Yes

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 19:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I mean, CAN anything beat that first paragraph? NO.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 19:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think most things can beat the photo caption alone.

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 19:09 (twenty-one years ago)

It is my favorite thing in the world right now.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 19:10 (twenty-one years ago)

what has dave q been smoking, recently ?

my favourite Yes track is Awaken

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 19:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh guess.

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 19:13 (twenty-one years ago)

The photo caption's a beaut, adapted from The Man's prose too. Grand.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 19:13 (twenty-one years ago)

"electro orcus-dorkus" is worthy of a prize in and of itself.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 19:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't make it through a paragraph without blowing coffee out my nose

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 19:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I barely made it through a sentence at a time. The recurring trope of "Owner of a Lonely Heart" is like the brilliant chorus of a kickass song (if you will).

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 19:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I am SO proud of this one, I have to say.

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 19:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Well done to both of ya.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 19:50 (twenty-one years ago)

As well you should be.

x-post

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 19:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Also, I demand all letters to the editor from people who didn't get the joke be shared with us.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 19:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I am SO jealous of this one, I have to say.

― chuck, Wednesday, 14 April 2004 19:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Dave's leaving this island?

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 20:07 (twenty-one years ago)

It's all your fault.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 20:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Props, this is great.

― 57 7th (calstars), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 20:26 (twenty-one years ago)

You know how I said on the Kill Your Idols thread that there were only three or four rock critics I actively felt jealousy towards? Dave Q was #4. True!

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:05 (twenty-one years ago)

See, if Dave Q was writing Kill Yr Idols instead of those fules I would be looking forward to it so much.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:10 (twenty-one years ago)

trudat!

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh my God. Dave Q again asserts total supremacy. Matos you are a prince among men for running this magnificent THING.

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:20 (twenty-one years ago)

WOW

― Ricardo (RickyT), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:22 (twenty-one years ago)

after reading that Tormato thing ages back, I found out they were doing a tour and was like, yep, it's time.

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:27 (twenty-one years ago)

you're a regular joe torre!

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:43 (twenty-one years ago)

; )

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:43 (twenty-one years ago)

DAHLDISCO

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:51 (twenty-one years ago)

god, i am never writing again

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:51 (twenty-one years ago)

MANO A MANO TURTLE-DUDE

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 21:53 (twenty-one years ago)

god, i am never writing again

Me, I feel like anyone in the men's draw at Wimbledon circa 1996 or so who wasn't Sampras.

See, if Dave Q was writing Kill Yr Idols instead of those fules I would be looking forward to it so much.

Yet again, El Diablo OTMFM.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:56 (twenty-one years ago)

(I also gotta say that personally I'm pleased as punch that after enjoying Dave Q genius on these boards for a few years as a near-private pleasure, I get to see him start taking over the world, as he ought.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 22:58 (twenty-one years ago)

what everybody said.

Part of me feels it would somehow be better if he took over the world with his records. And now it seems he is leaving us, what will we do without his anti-english rants?

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 23:09 (twenty-one years ago)

He will deliver them to you from afar.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 23:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Does this mean British Columbia will be his home again, at least for a while? Does this mean a Dave Q FAP is very possible in the near future for northwesterners?

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 23:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I am SO GODDAMN THERE whenever that happens.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 23:44 (twenty-one years ago)

When did Steve Howe start looking like The Crypt Keeper? Yikes!

― Jay Vee (Manon_70), Thursday, 15 April 2004 01:41 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.exzooberance.com/virtual%20zoo/they%20swim/sea%20turtle/Galapagos%20Turtle%20471009.jpg

― Broheems (diamond), Thursday, 15 April 2004 01:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Awwww. Munch away, li'l buddy!

― Jay Vee (Manon_70), Thursday, 15 April 2004 01:49 (twenty-one years ago)

GODDAMN IT! I lafft and lafft and could not stop laffin'

― Nate in ST.P (natedetritus), Thursday, 15 April 2004 03:42 (twenty-one years ago)

O my ovaries are sore. Fuckin A. It's like Dave Q just keeps raising the bar and then is the only one who can clear it; motherfucker's just SAILING over it, while people like me are just Fosbury flops. DAVE YOU STAND ASTRIDE THIS NARROW WORLD LIKE A COLOSSUS.

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 15 April 2004 03:55 (twenty-one years ago)

If I had to pick one paragraph:

Great as the show will undoubtedly be, were I a promoter, I would charge twice the admission for a Steve Howe–Trevor Rabin fight to the death! These two get on like Bush Sr. and Bush Jr. after a coke-fueled game of powerboat “chicken”! (“Mano a mano, turtle dude!”) Howe first left Yes to invent stadium prog with Asia, who produced the best-selling album of 1982, admittedly the year when the music business was so depressed that Chu-Bops were being vilified as a threat to legitimate MP3’s. Asia’s “Heat of the Moment” had a thundering kidney-defenestrating, medulla-buggering, etc., riff, but still got blown up like a box of kittens by Rabin’s “Owner of a Lonely Heart,” which simply “Owned” everything! Howe has expressed dislike for this spine-mincing, eyeball-vaporizing ROCK anthem on numerous occasions, a mystifying lapse of judgment from the man who invented both George Lynch and Loren Mazzacane Connors, but then Robert Plant refuses to sing “Pictures of Matchstick Men” live, preferring to do endless Scandinavian tours with bogus Whitesnake “reunion” lineups, so who knows how rock gods think, anyway? (Asia’s Geoff Downes on the enduring world-conquering appeal of his band: “Who wants to see some faggot farting around on a synthesizer with some tart squeaking on top, calling it the cutting edge of dance music?” And who wants to see the “new” Yes logo anywhere?)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 15 April 2004 04:42 (twenty-one years ago)

whew! fucking stunning, that.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 15 April 2004 04:45 (twenty-one years ago)

AWESOME piece (well, a few dips here and there, but mostly quite wonderful). The two paras highlighted by Ned are particularly great.

Julio OTM. Is q really leaving us? :(

― Jeff W (zebedee), Thursday, 15 April 2004 09:25 (twenty-one years ago)

one year passes...

All the accolades for this piece of ridiculous writing are perplexing to say the least. The only explanation I can think of for the article being published anywhere (even a free paper) is that this guy works for free. Or nepotism. Or blowjobbing his way to the top.

― Inside Outside In, Saturday, 17 December 2005 18:14 (twenty years ago)

Ah, your attempt to explain why Rick Wakeman is 'misunderstood' was rejected, then.

― dali madison's nut (donut), Saturday, 17 December 2005 18:39 (twenty years ago)

I like a lot of Dave Q's other stuff and he seems really well informed but this thing just doesn't do it for me. It's mostly because it's not funny. When I read it, I feel the same way I do when I read Mad Magazine where I know when they're trying to be funny but think "...how is this funny?"

― ~~~~~~~, Saturday, 17 December 2005 19:05 (twenty years ago)

but steve howe DOES look like a galapagos turtle!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 17 December 2005 19:13 (twenty years ago)

i've got to admit that the worshipful attitude toward dave q around here has always kinda baffled me.

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Saturday, 17 December 2005 19:45 (twenty years ago)

What the fuck is this piece trying to say exactly and, more importantly, WHO is it meant for? The only audience I can see for this are 10 people on ILM, truthfully. Anyone who knows this much about Yes is probably not going to want to read a long condescending mockery. Anyone who would want to mock them wouldn't know what the fuck Dave Q was talking about. It's so very specific in its referential humor, I can only presume it was written for Dave Q. A stream of consciousness joke you tell yourself is not good writing.

― Inside Outside In, Saturday, 17 December 2005 20:04 (twenty years ago)

I thought this thread had been much longer, with a long discussion about what "true summers" was a reference to. Was that a different thread or did a pile of posts get lost?

― Sundar (sundar), Saturday, 17 December 2005 20:12 (twenty years ago)

Skipping 228 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

There seems to be a problem with your formatting.

― LOL, Monday, 19 December 2005 22:28 (twenty years ago)

xpost

http://www.scientology.org/pics/std/dot.gif

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Monday, 19 December 2005 22:33 (twenty years ago)

Serves everyone right on this thread.

Yes is a really boring band.

― jsoulja (jsoulja), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 00:39 (twenty years ago)

weren't yoo tha dood egging everyone on:

-- The Adversary (th...), December 19th, 2005. (jsoulja)

if you weren't my apologies. kind of a lame flameout all around. i give it a c-.

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 00:52 (twenty years ago)

if you weren't my apologies. kind of a lame flameout all around. i give it a c-.

Are you trying to motivate me to bring up my grades? Is there any kind of extra credit I can do? Or should I just keep plugging away?

― The Adversary, Tuesday, 20 December 2005 01:05 (twenty years ago)

i just want you to be the best you that you can be.

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 01:10 (twenty years ago)

http://www.yes.com.hk/publications/yes/pub/cover/758/yes-758-1.jpg
http://www.yes.com.ru/images/new_mag/Yes-obl-11_05s.jpg
http://tuvoisceque.canalblog.com/images/yes.jpg

― blunt (blunt), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 01:22 (twenty years ago)

dave q more like dave poo lolamirite

― lulz, Tuesday, 20 December 2005 01:54 (twenty years ago)

A correction to all- I am not the boob who has been picking fights with everyone on this thread. I posted a fake apology under his name "The Adversary" upthread once to suggest that:

1. he is a major loser

and

2. that he go suck off some truckers and then stick his head in an oven

That's all. I don't like racists. I don't pick fights on ILM outside of trying to make a legit point. I do, however, enjoy telling jerks to put some rocks in their pockets and really go take the long walk off the short pier.....

― jsoulja (jsoulja), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 02:50 (twenty years ago)

I'm wearing my Klan outfit right now!

― jsouljah, Tuesday, 20 December 2005 03:26 (twenty years ago)

is this shit still on?

― jim p. irrelevant (electricsound), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 03:29 (twenty years ago)

http://www.chess.bc.ca/images/yoos05.jpg

― yes, Tuesday, 20 December 2005 04:18 (twenty years ago)

something interesting about yes through the years is their appeal to schizoids. the band they're into must have something

― prince rupert, Tuesday, 20 December 2005 05:19 (twenty years ago)

It must have Bill Bruford.

― 21st century schizoid man, Tuesday, 20 December 2005 05:31 (twenty years ago)

i love bill bruford !

― howell huser (chaki), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 05:35 (twenty years ago)

How does me calling out a racist jerk make me a Klansman?

― jsoulja (jsoulja), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 05:36 (twenty years ago)

How does calling someone a racist jerk make them a racist jerk?

― jsou|ja, Tuesday, 20 December 2005 06:00 (twenty years ago)

Um, how does repeating what other people post NOT make you sound like a 4th grader?

(I almost bought the whole "my job is so lame, I start trouble just to put some spark in my work life. Looks like your personal life is equally lame. You must be very, very lonely....)

― jsoulja (jsoulja), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 06:18 (twenty years ago)

http://www.christusrex.org/www1/stanzas/Ad-Socrates.jpg

― Personalities, Emotions and How to Deal with Others, Tuesday, 20 December 2005 06:21 (twenty years ago)

I'm still at work, too! For real. My imaginary girlfriend is using the printer.

― Yup, Tuesday, 20 December 2005 06:30 (twenty years ago)

This is fun!

― giboyeux (skowly), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 06:30 (twenty years ago)

That's why we're all here, right?

― Yup, Tuesday, 20 December 2005 06:33 (twenty years ago)

as my 11th grade english teacher used to say,

SIT DOWN, SHUT UP. SIT DOWN, SHUT UP. SIT DOWN, SHUT UP ...

― vahid (vahid), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 06:51 (twenty years ago)

I am doing both!

― So stop berating me, Tuesday, 20 December 2005 06:54 (twenty years ago)

God smiles on me guys! We got on the LAST train home. AND the strike is on which means I don't have to work tomorrow!

How about you?

― LOL, Tuesday, 20 December 2005 08:34 (twenty years ago)

The fact that people change my posts delights me. That's when you know you've really won.

― LOL, Tuesday, 20 December 2005 08:37 (twenty years ago)

NY1 just said we made history by being on the last trains. I've made a lot of history in the past few years as a NYer. I think it's getting to be about that time where I stop making so much history, quite frankly.

PS. Register all these user names so that nobody will ever be able to casually call themselves LOL, Way Logged Out (ooh, that's a popular one!) and all the future ones I will come up with.

― Way Logged Out, Tuesday, 20 December 2005 08:42 (twenty years ago)

I'm confused. What's going on?

I like Bill Bruford, too. He's cool.

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 16:04 (twenty years ago)

Hey, I even like Allan Holdsworth. He's way uncool !

― blunt (blunt), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 16:33 (twenty years ago)

I have a Butthole Surfers bootleg that has a bunch of crazy stuff at the end and Rick Wakeman makes a sudden appearance. I had no idea who he was at the time and thought it was from some ridiculous phantom of the opera 70s show. He had on a sparkly cape and a generally crazy face.

― Name D'Achange, Tuesday, 20 December 2005 17:26 (twenty years ago)

Hey, I even like Allan Holdsworth. He's way uncool !

i've always wanted to check out holdworth! where should one start?

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 17:27 (twenty years ago)

i've always wanted to check out holdworth! where should one start?

Just casually kind of look him in the eye first. Then, if it seems to be going well, kind of look him up and down. Smile. If he smiles back, give him a little wink. If he still seems approachable, you are free to walk around him and really give him a good look-over. Saying something like, "Mmmmhmmm, I like what I see," should get you home free as far as checking out the rest of him.

― Namey Changer, Tuesday, 20 December 2005 17:36 (twenty years ago)

OH DEAER LORD HOW IVE BEEN PWND.

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 17:38 (twenty years ago)

Not really, I was just making a joke.

― Namey Changer, Tuesday, 20 December 2005 17:42 (twenty years ago)

sorry this thread is so full of bile it's rubbing off on me!

so anyway, alan holdsworth! guitar magazines i read as a kid thought he was the bomb!

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 17:44 (twenty years ago)

Holdsworth? I'd start with U.K. or Bruford's One of a Kind or Gong's Gazeuse!

― Joe (Joe), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 18:47 (twenty years ago)

two months pass...

yes still rulez fule

http://www.villagevoice.com/music/0608,queen,72218,22.html

best line--former primal scream lead singer kate moss also appears

― par lagerkvist, Thursday, 23 February 2006 07:12 (nineteen years ago)

probably the ugliest thread ever on ILM - and the piece that started it all is pretty juvenile and second-rate.

― rufus shortes, Thursday, 23 February 2006 07:58 (nineteen years ago)

http://myspace-960.vo.llnwd.net/00520/06/95/520895960_l.jpg

― blunt (blunt), Thursday, 23 February 2006 08:21 (nineteen years ago)

i like it!

― chaki (chaki), Thursday, 23 February 2006 08:39 (nineteen years ago)

i really want to hear "Sticks on Stones" now

― zebedee (zebedee), Thursday, 23 February 2006 12:16 (nineteen years ago)

one year passes...

worst thread ever? maybe....

― gershy, Monday, 21 May 2007 05:31 (eighteen years ago)

"George. My name is George."

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 21 May 2007 05:48 (eighteen years ago)

Ugly thread indeed.

― Lostandfound, Monday, 21 May 2007 07:52 (eighteen years ago)

Which is a shame because the Dave Q piece is fine in its way.

― Lostandfound, Monday, 21 May 2007 07:53 (eighteen years ago)

No need for all the bile afterwards.

― Lostandfound, Monday, 21 May 2007 07:53 (eighteen years ago)

Where is Dave Q these days?

― Scik Mouthy, Monday, 21 May 2007 08:13 (eighteen years ago)

he's living in london

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 21 May 2007 11:06 (eighteen years ago)

2005 ILXors = easy to troll

― Dom Passantino, Monday, 21 May 2007 11:30 (eighteen years ago)

two years pass...

When listening to "I Just Want to Use Your Love Tonight" on the radio yesterday, I finally got the "Outfield + Mars Volta" comment.

(I still think a bunch of generally nicer posts got lost.)

― Sundar, Thursday, 13 August 2009 12:25 (sixteen years ago)

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