Simon Reynolds vs Frankie Bones: FITE!

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― Siegbran (eofor), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 19:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Reynolds' response is posted about 30 posts in.

― Siegbran (eofor), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 19:55 (twenty-one years ago)

wow, Bones is a total crybaby.

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 20:05 (twenty-one years ago)

omg lol - (bones): "I AM FUCKING PISSED OFF
If this is the same Simon that wrote the book Generation Ecstacy, that mutha fucker used me to write
his fucking book, mind you I helped him and never seen a thin fucking dime...THANK YOU. He is now 50
years old...50 50 50 50 Years old...YOU OLD FUCKING MAN....Come on now, it's on..you fucking piece of SHIT!"

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 20:05 (twenty-one years ago)

if they don't watch someone's gonna get served

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 20:05 (twenty-one years ago)

No, Simon's 42... 45... 67... 34... 54... 32... 45... 46? He wrote the book when he was 39 in 1998 which now makes him 47... 57? No, he wrote the book that he got helped with when he was 40!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 39? 53... 52 1/2? 41... he's bitter 'cause he didn't get to talk to Peter Jennings, who is 68. That makes Simon 59!!!! 61!!!!!

― Andy K (Andy K), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 20:11 (twenty-one years ago)

the only thing that doesn't make sense is that Simon describes his set as being hard as nails minimal hard boring anonymous stuff, then Bones and others mention him playing T99, Energy Flash, Charly etc, which is all up Simon's alley.

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 20:14 (twenty-one years ago)

That Bones fella sounds like a nutter.

― don (don), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 20:21 (twenty-one years ago)

"Chill out, time to practice some PLUR."

I haven't laughed so hard in quite awhile.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 20:23 (twenty-one years ago)

The last time I was in Sonic Groove (read: over a year ago) Frankie Bones was literally just screaming "FAGGOT! FAGGOT!" into a phone.

― sexyDancer, Wednesday, 21 April 2004 20:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Bones seems like he's overdone everything a bit.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 20:31 (twenty-one years ago)

haha "a bit"

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 20:32 (twenty-one years ago)

I know a girl who once did him and she said his nuts smell like moldy cheese and that it was so bad that she almost threw up. She said he's a real asshole, too.

― Brooklyn Dave, Wednesday, 21 April 2004 20:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Makes my 'tiff' with Simon look like what it was.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 20:37 (twenty-one years ago)

All this time I never knew Marcello was actually Frankie Bones.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 20:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Frankie, that is, not Simon. Nobody has ever described to me what's Simon's nuts smell like....

― Brooklyn Dave, Wednesday, 21 April 2004 20:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Am I the only one who thinks this guy is, like most NY DJs, totally overrated?

― js, Wednesday, 21 April 2004 20:45 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah the whole issue is so bizarrely predicated on this incredibly bad news gig that somehow(?!) was bad. wow simon i can't imagine...

― duke say what, Wednesday, 21 April 2004 20:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I love how everyone has to be all hippy-dippy-scene-unity. I luff you Ronan! Siegbran! RAAAAAAVVEEEEE OOONNNNNNN.

And yeah, totally overrated.

― Xii (Xii), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 20:46 (twenty-one years ago)

huh?

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 20:47 (twenty-one years ago)

what was "bad news" about the gig, exactly?

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 20:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh this looks entertaining. I shall read it more when I get a chance...

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 20:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I love how everyone has to be all hippy-dippy-scene-unity

yeah, cuz there's never anything like that here.

― frankE, Wednesday, 21 April 2004 20:49 (twenty-one years ago)

there isn't really much house music scene unity stuff here, what are you talking about?

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 20:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Dude, I bought a copy of "Keoki-clash" and it sucked- can you believe it?

― js, Wednesday, 21 April 2004 20:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I bought a copy of "Keoki-clash" and it sucked- can you believe it?

Disturbingly easily. I've seen the tracklist on that thing.

― Xii (Xii), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 20:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I was comparing the idea of "Keoki-clash" to a Frankie Bones set, both being predictably terrible, though the former has a weighty advantage in terms of humor....

― js, Wednesday, 21 April 2004 21:01 (twenty-one years ago)

"what was "bad news" about the gig, exactly?"

yeah i went back and read his original review and didn't realize that the reason he was mad at frankie and soul slinger (whom no one seems to be interested in defending) because he had enjoyed moby and DB so much (crikey). but what he said basically makes me think the only thing i might possibly have enjoyed was parts of frankie's. i hate most all breakbeat and definitely NASA rave stuff since day one so no way i would never have been at this thing anyhoo. but all i'm saying is that's just me. virtually the entirety of the dance music world save this kind of thing (90's redux) and trance (and nouveau electro which is trance for hipsters) i have a taste for though. BTW the chris and cosey remixes that just came out illustrate where i'm coming from these days, personally. they just make a mockery of everything else i've heard lately (but the monobox remix 12").

― duke tastee, Wednesday, 21 April 2004 21:02 (twenty-one years ago)

there isn't really much house music scene unity stuff here, what are you talking about?

I'm talking about all the kissy-kiss and luff that goes on in these parts in general.

― frankE, Wednesday, 21 April 2004 21:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I see. well, our tastes differ obv. (haha big surprise)

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 21:06 (twenty-one years ago)

nobody likes soulslinger though? anyone? just curious. did i miss a defense of him somewhere?

― duke fairness, Wednesday, 21 April 2004 21:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Soulslinger's records: zzzzzzzz. Never seen him play out.

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 21:12 (twenty-one years ago)

a weighty advantage in terms of humor

Understatement of the year.

― Xii (Xii), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 21:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I skipped Soulslinger in San Diego last weekend partly because my friend showed me the Reynolds review, which reminded me of the dangers of taking trips down memory lane. His records are a snooze, but I will confess to liking some of the Jungle Sky comps....

― js, Wednesday, 21 April 2004 21:19 (twenty-one years ago)

gawd those Jungle Sky comps were lousy

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 21:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm talking about all the kissy-kiss and luff that goes on in these parts in general.

But no one here comes banging on my door if I say I don't particularly take to Pitchfork's idea of a good record review - or any one of a number of other writers here that I'm not into. Sure, I see butt-smooching here, but that's everywhere. The difference is when they start trying to chew up and spit out people with contrary opinions.

― Xii (Xii), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 21:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I did CONFESS to liking them, though. I can think of worse comps, like most of the Frankie Bones catalog, but that's just me.....

― js, Wednesday, 21 April 2004 21:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I did enjoy Bones's You Know My Name mix on Moonshine from 2000 (reviewed it in tandem with Matthew Herbert's Let's All Make Mistakes, in fact, a pairing that still makes sense to me), but most of what I've heard wasn't super-hot.

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 21:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I must have THE SIMON REYNOLDS ROASTER.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 21:32 (twenty-one years ago)

From 94-98, Soulslinger did a lot to advance the cause of jungle in New York, through his sets, events, his store, and his incessant blah blah blah. A lot of younger DJs and promoters worked for him, and the Jungle Sky also was a boon organizationally if not always creatively. His parties were almost always fun, and unpredictable in that they appealed to a big crossover non-raver crowd. That said, his sets were unpredictable, too, all over the place stylistically but generally saved by the magic choice of the right records at the right hours. There's my illuminating defense... and "Abducted" from TIJS I or II is still a warped cut-up crusher.

― Ian Christe (Ian Christe), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 21:37 (twenty-one years ago)

This is about the Bilssblog review of the NASA rewind night, no? (I can't get onto the Discogs forum cause I'm blocked from work)...if so, Bones' set was a lot better than Reynolds gave him credit for. It wasn't in keeping with the old skool / 'ardcore / rave theme of the night, but the crowd I was standing in the middle of seemed to like it just fine. Reynolds' main point of contention was that Bones played a lot of anonymous acid and techno which is stuff that he has never appeared to have liked. Personally, I was just as happy to hear that as I was ‘Voodoo Ray’ or ‘Renegade Snares’. Bones was also easily the most technically skilled DJ behind the decks that night. Same kind of stuff you’d expect from a Jeff Mills, Dave Clarke or Claude Young set circa 94/95.

All said though, DB was the highlight of the night. He may not be the greatest mixer in the world, but he knew what he was there to do...keep everyone happy by playing records they remembered from 11 or 12 years ago. (no 'Bombscare' though, which was odd cause it was apparently a big NASA anthem). The only real blight on the evening was the venue management, who treated everyone like shit and then ripped DB and Scotto off for a bunch of money.

― mmmsalt (Graeme), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 21:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, and the reason no one is defending Soulslinger is 'cause his set really was that bad.

― mmmsalt (Graeme), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 21:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't mean to sound completely negative about it; I just didn't get much from the handful of things I'd heard. Obviously I haven't heard all his stuff. And I'll try to hunt down "Abducted"--thanks for the tip.

BTW Ian, did you see you were cited in Mike McGonigal's Sun City Girls piece that ran in last week's Seattle Weekly?

xpost--this was all for Ian though mmmsalt's illuminating too.

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 21:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, Ian saw that all right.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 21:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Am I misreading it or does FB say "If my set was so shit then why would I have dropped a pill?"

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 21:41 (twenty-one years ago)

N.'s cherry-picking of that particularly rare Bones bit reminds me of why I skipped the whole big dance craze that everybody sez was so great

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 21:47 (twenty-one years ago)

your loss, pal

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 21:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Think of all the PLUR you missed out on!

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 21:53 (twenty-one years ago)

if it's too loud, you're too old.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 21:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Do you think anyone dropped a pill midway through reading that thread?

Here's Realaudio of the T-Power mix of 'Abducted'.

― Ian Christe (Ian Christe), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 21:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 12 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

that was categorically the least edifying thing i ever did read

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 22:15 (twenty-one years ago)

oh dave i am sure a quick troll through the archives will prove you wrong on that count

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 22:17 (twenty-one years ago)

however having bonesbreaks records etc, i will say in his defence that he was always quite acidy and tracky and in retrospect always quite boring

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 22:17 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, i meant apart from the stuff i've been involved in, jess

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 22:18 (twenty-one years ago)

heh that's not even what i meant, but yeah

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 22:19 (twenty-one years ago)

i mean, we have a category called "momus momus momus" for chrissakes

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 22:19 (twenty-one years ago)

i like the way bones is saying about knowing what is "professional and not, but flat-out refusing to see that it's writen ON A BLOG DUMBASS despite having been told about 20 times!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 22:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Given that I felt I could consistently counterexample Simon's claim that dance music was "now" in a serious decline, I'm inclined to think Simon's rant was just that... a rant. Which is funny, because it only outed Bones as the biggest motherfucking crybaby on the planet, which kinda disappoints me, given that his stature would otherwise make me assume he has some level of self-confidence by now. Even if some fuckhead wrote a Bones review of 100% lies, blowing up like that in response to it is still rather embarassing.

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 22:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I really wish I could read this. It sounds very amusing.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 22:24 (twenty-one years ago)

i didn't think you did mean that jess. it was a combination of dry self-deprecating british wit and need to say it before anyone else did!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 22:25 (twenty-one years ago)

on the archive tip, i browse other boards and see the state of them, the debates that go on on them etc and actually come away feeling almost *lucky* to use these ones. this was just another case of it. and if that aint a damning indictment of the human race, i don't know what is

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 22:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Alex, I wouldn't bother. It's a bit of a trainwreck to see, really. Not exactly uplifting, despite the muffled chuckles you might get out of it.

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 22:28 (twenty-one years ago)

let's condense it for Alex in SF

Bones: "Simon used to be cool but now he's old! And he sucks! And he's a professional so should act professional even when he's writing off-the-cuff stuff on an unpaid personal blog!"

Others: "It's not that big a deal, dude, calm down."

Bones: "Simon used to be cool but now he's old! And he sucks! And he's a professional so should act professional even when he's writing off-the-cuff stuff on an unpaid personal blog!"

Others: "It's not that big a deal, dude, calm down."

Bones: "Simon used to be cool but now he's old! And he sucks! And he's a professional so should act professional even when he's writing off-the-cuff stuff on an unpaid personal blog!"

etc.

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 22:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, Ian saw that all right.

Cuz if I didn't see it, why would I have dropped a pill?

― Ian Christe (Ian Christe), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 22:32 (twenty-one years ago)

how old is Frankie Bones, btw?

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 22:34 (twenty-one years ago)

He says on that board that he 38, I think.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 22:47 (twenty-one years ago)

(makes some crack about 40 knocking on the door, and having a wife and babysitter like SR)

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 22:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Nice rhyme.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 22:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Cheers.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 22:49 (twenty-one years ago)

given that his stature would otherwise make me assume he has some level of self-confidence by now

Yeah, that's the thing -- you have to wonder what self-confidence is there at all. Otherwise it's just *one* voice, for heaven's sake.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 22:50 (twenty-one years ago)

I think some people just don't work like that. It's a pride thing, or just a habit of shouting back. Witness some ILM threads.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 22:55 (twenty-one years ago)

honestly, though, I can sort of see where he's coming from, because let's face it, whatever popularity techno might have had in the U.S. in a large-scale way is pretty much gone now and has been for a few years. these are precarious times for people who make and promote that stuff, especially if it doesn't have a particularly hip patina around it (e.g. Kompakt), and it's not like 12-inches ever sell all that well anyway. for a lot of people, this is all they do and have ever done--where do they go from there? it's a pretty precarious position to be in.

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 22:56 (twenty-one years ago)

yes i have found that house is now more offensive than noise music is most of the time. followed by techno.

― duke house, Wednesday, 21 April 2004 22:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Post House Disorder?

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 23:01 (twenty-one years ago)

kids are more willing to give wolf eyes a chance because at least they aren't gay or puerto rican or something

― duke blew, Wednesday, 21 April 2004 23:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Uh.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 23:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I do hope you provide some context for that last statement soon, duke, because as it stands it's not looking so good.

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 23:15 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm saying that's why house seems to offend people sometimes. i do not understand it, i am amongst house fanatics largely, but that's what i see. i can understand where it would be an extreme viewpoint but hey.

― duke lurve, Wednesday, 21 April 2004 23:19 (twenty-one years ago)

OK. looked for a second like you were saying that yourself.

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 23:21 (twenty-one years ago)

ha! i guess you have to know me to have gotten it. i'm new here.

― duke trust, Wednesday, 21 April 2004 23:23 (twenty-one years ago)

that's why I asked for further explanation--it was the kind of thing that could've gone either way

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 23:29 (twenty-one years ago)

The irony seemed pretty clear to me. Maybe I over-attribute irony. Hello, duke.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 23:32 (twenty-one years ago)

if the set was, as is suggested above, like a jeff mills or claude young set from 1995, then that sounds pretty good to me (though it may not have fit the ethos of the event, i dont know)

― gareth (gareth), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 23:34 (twenty-one years ago)

if the set was, as is suggested above, like a jeff mills or claude young set from 1995

I was thinking more in terms of DJing style (scratching, beat juggling, frenetic pace) than tunes played...although according to one of his posts in the Discogs thread he played 'Energy Flash' and 'Work That Mothafucker' (which I could have sworn were dropped before he came on). Anyway, it was good shit and the crowd seemed to enjoy it.

What I can't believe is that the whole NASA Rewind line-up isn't getting ripped to shreds.

Well, the whole point of the night was to bring back the DJs that used to play NASA regularly...Keoki didn't show and if Joeski played it must have been in the back room but Moby, Junior Sanchez, Scott Henry and Odi all also showed without being on the original bill. In terms of crowd / atmosphere it turned out to be one of the best nights I've been to in years...even if I did feel a bit like my parents going to a Rolling Stones concert.

― mmmsalt (Graeme), Wednesday, 21 April 2004 23:52 (twenty-one years ago)

yr corny indie fuck colors are showing j0#n

hippies, hippies all

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Thursday, 22 April 2004 00:17 (twenty-one years ago)

We love you, John. (Though actually I DON'T right now because your latest tour comes through LA when I'll be in Portland! Woe is me! :-( )

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 22 April 2004 00:34 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm not so familiar with mtn goats music but i did enjoy a speech you gave at my college railing against the then obseqious influence of slint. if anything you might have been ahead of the curve ('94?)

― duke alumni, Thursday, 22 April 2004 00:39 (twenty-one years ago)

The picture I am getting of J0hn standing at a podium and slamming his fist over and over again while railing against Rodan or something.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 22 April 2004 00:42 (twenty-one years ago)

"We will bury you! With lyrics!"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 22 April 2004 00:43 (twenty-one years ago)

see now if I'd've been tabbing e's like everybody else in '94 I wouldn't have been able to muster up all them trenchant observations

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Thursday, 22 April 2004 00:49 (twenty-one years ago)

i think i was ecstasy myself at the time

― duke leary, Thursday, 22 April 2004 00:54 (twenty-one years ago)

i meant "on" obv but i like that as it stands

― duke on, Thursday, 22 April 2004 00:55 (twenty-one years ago)

heady days *whew*

― duke half, Thursday, 22 April 2004 00:56 (twenty-one years ago)

duke your zen is blinding, I salute you

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Thursday, 22 April 2004 01:03 (twenty-one years ago)

thanks, but we're way off topic now

― duke blind, Thursday, 22 April 2004 01:11 (twenty-one years ago)

put my name down for one of these SIMON REYNOLDS ROASTERS quicksnap! "Cooks good, juicy rants in a healthy way - FAST! I liked it so much I put my name on it!"

Does that mean we should have a TOM EWING TOASTER as well?

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 22 April 2004 07:16 (twenty-one years ago)

the tom ewing toaster'll only toast poptarts (haw haw)

― cinniblount (James Blount), Thursday, 22 April 2004 07:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Is there a greater sign of prosperity in life than having people sear delicious juicy meat on a grill with your name on it.

THAT'S THE HOUSE ON THE HILL FOR ME!

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 22 April 2004 09:29 (twenty-one years ago)

see now if I'd've been tabbing e's like everybody else in '94 I wouldn't have been able to muster up all them trenchant observations

Try '91, errrrrrrrrr, errrrrrrrrrr, what was the question again?

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 22 April 2004 10:21 (twenty-one years ago)

dry your fucking eyes, frankie bones. it's a blog review, fercrissakes!!!!!!

― Jay Kid (Jay K), Thursday, 22 April 2004 10:37 (twenty-one years ago)

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