Phish: Name Your Reasons Why They Are So Bad & Hated

I pick phish food rather than Cherry Garcia.

The music, I don't know.

What the? As I'm totally Phish-ignorant, could you enlighten me on this?

b-but Axilla is better than TFTB! i mean, you have to be in the mood for annoying, but at least it's memorable.

anyway, Phish

They have a song called that, I believe. The entirety of the lyrics are 'David Bowie, UB40.' I wish I didn't know that.

*grin*

1. that one where Page does that piano solo outro
2. that one with the fucked up time signature
3. whichever cover song Fishman breaks out the vacuum cleaner on
4. the one with the pretty vocal harmonies
5. that other one with the fucked up time signature
6. the bluegrassy one about the aliens shooting a cow with a laser
7. the one Alison Krauss sings with them on the album
8. the one that's a take-off on the NPR All Things Considered theme
9. the one where Fishman just GOES OFF
10.You Enjoy Myself

meanwhile, dude next to me is notating every moment of their set on a notepad, lame-O

*cries*

I've never heard Phish cover anything remotely obscure. The closest is probably "Peaches En Regalia", which I guess I might have never heard had my daddy not raised me in a house chock full of Zappa.

Xgau called DMB "blander than a tofu sandwich"

xpost

In fact, it seems like the Phish hate is connected to the "phan" hate which seems to come from a widespread hatred of all things "hippy", and not as often having anything to do with their (often tedious yet also occasionally enthralling) music.

I have a lot of Bonaroo-attending type friends, mostly from a period of college from which I remember little, who dig them, collect bootlegs, talk about who did what when, and such. Also have some friends who were "band types" who like them and argue in favor of their musicianship. But I just never could get into it.

I even dig Bela Fleck, so I'd rather hear the Flecktones but I think that a lot of that is I dig Victor Wooten and Futureman. Anybody with the balls to stand up in front of a bunch of hippies and work the electronic percussion voodoo I've seen him do deserves props.

The only thing I think I like less than DMB and Phish that really pretends to be music (so new country, boy bands, etc. aside) is bad trance music. If I have to be on drugs to "appreciate it", then it's shit in my mind.

And last, but not least I think the reason I moved from not caring/disliking to hating them is the number of times I've entered this situation: I have friend X who's cool but not into music (or I'm trying to get with). They introduce me to their friend Y who friend X says is into music also and that "we would get along". I ask "what kind of music are you into?" or something like that trying to start idle chit chat. Y says "Phish and ....". Now I have to be nice while they talk to me about Phish. I always fuck this up. See, Y doesn't care if I like Phish, he just wants to talk about them, so I'm stuck cutting him off. The longer I wait, the more of an ass I act like. The earlier I do it the more impatient, snobby, etc. I seem. Hippies are way to sensitive and X always worries about them because they're sensative and don't get out enough (sit around and smoke pot all day). Fucking Phish fans,

well it's fun as baseball-stat stuff, but this sort of community does tend to reduce one's field of vision (though it educated me a bit re other, older artists in college) and reinforce your tendency to kid yourself about quality.

The only thing I think I like less than DMB and Phish that really pretends to be music (so new country, boy bands, etc. aside) is bad trance music. If I have to be on drugs to "appreciate it", then it's shit in my mind.

you might enjoy your life more if you admitted to yourself that new country, boy bands, etc. can be good. trance does suck, though, says i the dance music ignoramus.

also thinking future man is somehow not a hippie - haha

yes dude, you know me well. i am utterly unfamiliar with George Clinton's anal-stage critique of late capitalism and technophilia.

Someone hasn't been eating their Tofutti!

Phish is really quite good if you give 'em a shot. Beyond the epics (Divided Sky, Reba, Split Open and Melt, David Bowie, Fluffhead, Maze, You Enjoy Myself, etc etc etc), their song catalogue can be fairly dismal. But that's not what Phish is about.

Phish is all about tension and release, building on horrible-sounding themes and blowing them to shreds in one giant Trey-led climax. The kind of climax that makes you want to pull out all your pubes and staple them to your forehead in a sacrifice to the gods. The kind that keeps building and building until you shit out your intestines and spend the rest of the show trying to shove them back down your throat.

God those were some nasty analogies. But that's the kind of power they have the ability to channel. They're not anywhere in the same realm as the crap 'jam' scene. They transcend it in a million ways, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise (Dood, the String Cheese Incident is so heady, brah).

I will never have a music epiphany like I did at a Phish show ever again. I know their songs can suck. I know their fans can suck. I know their lyrics suck in general.

But show me another band that does THAT. Fucking zen.

I'm still trying to remove the staples from my forehead.

flashforward- music time. after funneling into the nice place, we took a lawn seat, i went and guzzeled 4 yuenglings in 10 minutes,at 5 bones a pop i wanted maximum impact. oddly, over the PA system was SCOTS. i was pleasantly suprised by that. but, i seemed to be the only one, so...back to the lawn.

phish came on and the crowd of course twirled like crazy, the air began to stink even worse and i was in hell. until they played 'gold sounds' and i lept up and watch the entire place stop moving as they had no idea what the song was. i did a little jig as i sang badly. that was the 4 minutes i enjoyed, beyond the alcohol.

what a fuckin waste.
even the grrl said it was underwhelming.
next time they came, similar situation, no pavement cover. i fell asleep. easily. without booze, even!

moral- phish=lame. not as bad as DMB, not nearly.

This is just endlessly hilarious to me.

to those who actually saw shows and knock things like the tramps, vacuums and other humorous aspects....i can just see you standing at a SHOW which you paid to see for crossing yoru arms and refusing to have a good time...get over yourself.

You are missing the whole point of "jam" music. To put it bluntly, they are ALL endlessly noodling. Its the type of fan that likes this type of music that listens to EVERY band member, and not just the guitar. They are ALL noodling, and what makes it amazing is that they are all doing their own thing, but still staying on the same page.

And Is that supposed to impress us?

it's that damned smelly phish i can't 'get over'.
or it's damnedably pseudo-hippy audience.

it's like DMB fans, but in reverse...almost

i was once on board with those who don't like phish but i discovered in the past couple years how dead wrong every notion i had about it was. you have no idea what you're hearing when you listen to phish because you listen to it based on your own experience and expectations of music as is the natural thing to do (why do you think some foreign music sounds very strange to you). I had to change the way I listen to music to really 'get it'. now everything i used to listen to (90's alternative generally speaking) just sounds bland...there are details within phish's music not readily apparent to the untrained ear. unfortunately i can't convey these in any simple terms so i won't try but only say this: don't knock what you don't understand.

How can ya hate a band that has such deliciously rhyming lines???
Pure genius I say!

this statement, in my experience is bullshit:

Phish = skunk weed
Dr. Dre = the chronic

I have known Phish fans with some truly gormet shit.

Also, I have no affinity for their music, but I recently saw Trey on Charlie Rose and he seemed to be a very nice, intelligent guy...

whoever wrote this:

if you knew anything, you'd know that indie music is the gayest of gay

You should check out The Frogs, I think you'd dig them!

the thing i dont understand (and i used to like phish a lot in high school, i went to a bunch of shows, i wasnt even on drugs, for chrissakes...) is how this idea of "phish, in contrast to all the other music in the world, which is totally imperfect and criticizable, is not something that you can discuss at all objectively. if you dont love it subjectively, you just dont get it, and theres something magical that happens, and it cant be quantified, etc etc etc." its really like people have been brainwashed into this blind acceptance of the experience and music without their critical thinking skills, which the well-educated "phans" should, by all rights, have in spades. i feel like really really hardcore phish phan-dom can beget this horrible brand escapism that is harmful in its insularity and its lack of critical examination of music...

maybe thats overstating it a lot, i dont know... i also know that indie/electronic/experimental/etc. fan-dom can engender similar insularity, but i never hear the sort of rapturous praise heaped on a single band by their fans than i do with phish.

btw, i still like billy breathes.

The thing is, Fishman and Mike are the two most noodly players in the band. %60 of their jams, Trey is just sustaining a couple notes indefinately while they flounce all over the place. Fishman actually is one of my favoritest drummers live, but Mike honestly is one of my least favorite bassists I've ever witnessed. His tone is way too plucky and muffledy, and it seems like he never has and never will understand the concept of "the pocket".

burrrrrrrrrrrn...

generally speaking in discussions like this (just look at the main topic of the thread), intelligent discussion is not permitted and anything along those lines is viewed as condescending. damned if you do, damned if you don't.

If it doesn't have a purpose, doesn't go somewhere, or fit into a bigger picture in the right way, the first people that will admit are the people at the show. In fact sometimes they're too overcritical of this.

people will hear this noodling section, decide its crap, and turn their ears off basically even if the music continues but they lose the effect and have no chance of enjoying anything that follows. i've seen it a hundred times. this is one of the details i was referring to earlier. one of the biggest reasons for the 'get it'/'don't get it' factor.

Not to say its for everyone, but that's typically how it works for those who listen to phish, it wasn't a 'hey this is great' first time round. that's why we tend to get defensive because we see ourselves in the trivialized arguments ;)

You guys really dont know what you are talking about. The VAST majority of Phish fans are not sweaty non-showering hippies. They are working in corporate America in every capacity. Generally speaking, they are well off, well educated individuals who, for one reason or another, have formed a bond with this particular type of music, and there is nothing wrong with that.

srsly, best googler ever

dude parkinglot widespread trey nitrous best ever.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRpRL9QjJYk&feature=player_embedded#!

Squandered opportunity for a vacuum solo imo :/

"there are details within phish's music not readily apparent to the untrained ear."

this always kills me.