WHO IN THIS BITCH HAS A CASSINGLE OF "WHO'S JOHNNY" BY EL DeBARGE???

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So I’m at the thrift shop last night preparing to browse through the record bin when this guy sidles up a little too closely and says, a little too loudly, “They got some nice records in there, huh?” His voice is a little thick, and he’s wearing weirdo shorts pulled up approximately to his sternum.

After I’ve responded (none too encouragingly), he asks, in an even louder voice, “DO YOU HAVE A CASSINGLE OF EL DeBARGE WHO’S JOHNNY?” I tell him I don’t, and he says, “IF YOU DID, YOU WOULD GIVE IT TO ME, RIGHT!?” “Well, maybe we could trade, if you had something I wanted.” “BUT YOU WOULD LET ME HAVE EL DeBARGE WHO’S JOHNNY IF YOU HAD ONE, RIGHT?”

He’s getting a little threatening, so I tell him, “Sure -- if I find one, it’s yours. What’s your name?” “BENJAMIN FRANKLIN PETTIGREW.” (I’ve substituted a pseudonym here). He wanders away, I browse a little more, finding a couple of Ellington LPs, but then he comes back: “HOW BIG OF A HIT WAS WHO’S JOHNNY BY EL DeBARGE?” “I don’t really know, but there are books and references where you could find out.” Very threatening now: “YOU DON’T *LIKE* EL DeBARGE WHO’S JOHNNY, DO YOU?!?” I assure him that I am, indeed, down with the whole DeBarge family, and finally get rid of him, but not before one final reiteration: “IF YOU FIND A CASSINGLE OF EL DeBARGE WHO’S JOHNNY, YOU’LL LET ME HAVE IT, RIGHT?”

So please, ILM, help a brother out and locate a copy of this holy grail of all cassingles. And Ben, if you’ve googled your way here somehow, please be assured that I’m working on it, dude.

― briania, Friday, 30 April 2004 13:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd check out the Short Circuit fan sites, if such things exist.

― m.e.a. (m.e.a.), Friday, 30 April 2004 14:00 (twenty-two years ago)

There is little I can do with this story but boggle at it.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 30 April 2004 14:02 (twenty-two years ago)

.. i fear for the life of briania .. you will be in my prayers tonight.

― mark e (mark e), Friday, 30 April 2004 14:05 (twenty-two years ago)

$5000. Money order or cashier's check only.

― Aaron A., Friday, 30 April 2004 14:08 (twenty-two years ago)

This was the first 45rpm single I ever bought as a young lad of 11. I think it predates the cassingle phenom.

― Johnny Fever (johnny fever), Friday, 30 April 2004 14:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Look, Johnny, do YOU want to explain to Ben that the cassingle doesn't exist? Me neither.

― briania, Friday, 30 April 2004 14:15 (twenty-two years ago)

There she goes and knows I'm dying when she says "Who is Johnny?"
Games with names that girl is playing, all she says is "Who is Johnny?"
I tried to understand because I'm people too
And playing games is part of human nature
My heart's in overdrive, it's great to be alive
"Who's Johnny?" she said and smiled in her special way
"Johnny," she said, "you know I love you"
"Who's Johnny" she said and tried to look the other way
Her eyes gave her away
Alright, oh yeah "
She makes sure I see her teasing, hear her say "Who is Johnny?"
There's no way today is easy, hear her say "Who is Johnny?"
I really couldn't help but fall in love with her
Her being there has made my life worth living
I knew it from the start, that I would lose my heart
"Who's Johnny?" She said and smiled in her special way
"Johnny," she said, "you know I love you"
"Who's Johnny" she said and tried to look the other way
still pretending
"Who's Johnny?"
"Who's Johnny?"
Wow-oooh, oh no
"Who's Johnny?"
"Who's Johnny?"
Oh no-no-no-no, i don't believe it
"Who's Johnny?" she said and tried to look the other way
Her eyes gave her away
(Girls like her) Are very special girls
(Girls like her) Don't rest
'Till'Till you too are a believer
'Till you too have caught their fever
Who-who-who-..
"Who is Johnny?"
There she goes and knows I'm dying when she says
"Who is-who-who is" "Who's Johnny?" She said and smiled in her special way
"Johnny," she says, "you know I love you"
"Who's Johnny" she says and tried to look the other way
Her eyes gave her away

"Who's Johnny?"
"Who's Johnny?"
"Who's Johnny?"

― Derek Dahlarge, Friday, 30 April 2004 14:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I may have confused my memory of the video for "Who's Johnny? (theme from Short Circuit) with the one for Rod Stewert's "Love Touch (theme from Legal Eagles)." It would make more sense with Legal Eagles but am I correct in remembering Bebarge singing in a courtroom? Is somebody on trial? Is All Sheedy present? What about Johnny 5?

― theodore fogelsanger, Friday, 30 April 2004 15:20 (twenty-two years ago)

All I know is that if somebody doesn't find htis cassingle, it's BEN that's going to be in a courtroom, on trial for assault or EVEN WORSE! Please, people, try a little harder!

― briania, Friday, 30 April 2004 15:52 (twenty-two years ago)

who farted she said? and smiled in her special way

― cutty (mcutt), Friday, 30 April 2004 15:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, the video took place in a courtroom. California v. Number Five a.k.a. "Johnny", I believe.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Friday, 30 April 2004 16:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I think it predates the cassingle phenom.

The first cassingle to be released in the US was apparently Bryan Adams' In The Heat Of The Night in spring '87.

However, I had a cassingle of Sledgehammer, released in 1986, so maybe this man will find a European issue of Who's Johnny?

Nevertheless, an uneviable task.

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 30 April 2004 16:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Apologies for Adams title error - no 'In The'.

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 30 April 2004 16:25 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not sure you really want to find this cassingle. I mean, if you find it, won't he come back asking for more? Maybe looking for cassingle of "Oh Shiela" by Ready for the World? How long could it go on?

― Evanston Wade (EWW), Friday, 30 April 2004 16:25 (twenty-two years ago)

If I was lucky enough to find any Ready For The World in the sweet, sweet cassingle format, they'd stay right at home, thank you.

― briania, Friday, 30 April 2004 16:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Earliest U.K.Cassingle?:1981-Pretenders"message of love"(are15m) OR 1981-John Lennon"woman"(K79195M)

Earliest U.S. Cassingle?:Possibly 1983 ?? (bowie-"let's dance)? However Cassette E.P.s(Extended Play) have existed since 1968 on bubble pack cards (no cases)4 songs on a tape-2 each side.But El De Barge????????????????dude................

― Zippy Pinhead, Saturday, 1 May 2004 20:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Today I was in a store and they played that old Debarge track, so annoying with it's UBER high falsetto vocal, something about "special love inside of us/will all reveal in time" He always manages to take his voice just a little higher than it should go.

― bimble (bimble), Sunday, 2 May 2004 00:15 (twenty-two years ago)

god, i love debarge

― amateur!st (amateurist), Sunday, 2 May 2004 00:32 (twenty-two years ago)

This is the sleeper thread of ILXm 2004. Any minute now it's due to erupt.

― Evanston Wade (EWW), Sunday, 2 May 2004 00:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Of course, I've since had to dig up a copy of "Who's Johnny" and give it a spin. I wasn't even sure I remembered the song, but one play brought it all rushing ickily back. I'm tempted to just make him a tape of it, but something in his tone indicated that he placed some totemic value on ownership of the cassingle itself.

― briania, Sunday, 2 May 2004 03:21 (twenty-two years ago)

i love that story, it cheered me up Briana.

― jed_ (jed), Sunday, 2 May 2004 16:20 (twenty-two years ago)

the only cassingles I have anymore are my Kriss Kross "I Missed the Bus" one, and Prince's Batdance.

― uh, Sunday, 2 May 2004 16:44 (twenty-two years ago)

this is my favorite ILM thread title ever and I've never heard this song (ok I guess I heard it when I saw Short Circuit in the theaters but I sure as fuck don't remember it now)

I have some cassingles. I really should listen to my 3rd Bass "Pop Goes The Weasel" one. Rappers be white!

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 2 May 2004 17:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually I think I liked the song because they looked like nerds. I probably would have bought a De La Soul casssingle at that time.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 2 May 2004 17:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm pretty sure I've got a Cinderella cassingle sitting around here somewhere....

― Evanston Wade (EWW), Sunday, 2 May 2004 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

i used to have an NWA cassingle, wish i'd hung onto it..

― the surface noise (electricsound), Monday, 3 May 2004 04:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I've got this on 7" single.

Thanks for putting the bloody song back into my head.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 3 May 2004 04:51 (twenty-two years ago)

one year passes...

This song's utter daftness reminds me that the mid '80s were just spectacular.

― Alfred Soto (Alfred Soto), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 00:12 (twenty years ago)

this thread makes me think of push-up bras

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 00:35 (twenty years ago)

I actually got "Who's Johnny" from iTunes with one of those free song Pepsi caps. I don't know if I like it or just have very distinct memories of it, including the courtroom based video that didn't show too much of Johnny 5, so as not to spoil the thrill of seeing him for the first time in Short Circuit.

Thank you this thread for reminding me of "Love Touch" from Legal Eagles, a song that I hadn't thought about for at least fifteen years.

― joygoat (joygoat), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 19:53 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...

this song is in my top 5, fyi

― Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 16 July 2007 04:28 (eighteen years ago)

There he goes, he drives me crazy
When he says "Here's Johnny"
That's his job, it's so amazing
All he says is "Here's Johnny"
I never miss a moment when he's on the tube
His being there has made my life worth living
The chills run down my spine
Each time he says that line
"Here's Johnny" He says, and laughs in his special way
"Johnny" he says, you know I love him
"Here's Johnny" he says and second fiddle is his game
Ed McMahon's his name, all right
Woah, oh yeah
Dressed so fine, he's such a cool dude
Hear him say "Here's Johnny"
Watch him selling beer and dog food
Hear him say "Here's Johnny"
I got a letter from him just the other day
He said "You may already be a winner"
A trooper to the end
A Clydesdale's best friend
"Here's Johnny" he says and laughs in his special way
"Johnny" he says, you know I love him
"Here's Johnny" he says and that's the way he gets his pay
What a living
Oh "Here's Johnny, Here's Johnny" Woah no
"Here's Johnny, Here's Johnny" No no, no no no no I don't believe it
"Here's Johnny" he says and everytime it's just the same
Ed McMahon's his name
(Special guy) A very special guy, all right
(He's on) He's on every night
(Every night) Can't change the channel
When he's sitting on the panel
"Here's Johnny"
There he goes, he gives me goose bumps
When he says "Hey-Oh, Hey-Hey-Oh"
"Here's Johnny" he says and laughs in his special way
"Johnny" he says, you know I love him
"Here's Johnny" he says, that seems to be his claim to fame
Ed McMahon's his name
"Here's Johnny"
"Here's Johnny"
"Here's Johnny" (laughing)

― marmotwolof, Monday, 16 July 2007 04:47 (eighteen years ago)

i want to see the lyrics to 'Who Farted'

― tremendoid, Monday, 16 July 2007 08:00 (eighteen years ago)

The album it was taken from was actually quite nice. Great bunch of highly melodic soul songs, performed by a pleasant singing voice. Underrated stuff.

Trying to find it on CD now, but it seems to be deleted. Too bad.

Btw. maybe said cassette single would also include "Someone", the b-side. That song is just as strong as the a-side.

― Geir Hongro, Monday, 16 July 2007 08:25 (eighteen years ago)

Where do old cassingles go to die?

I mean, srlsly! DO you ever see any of them in any secondhand shop ever?

― Mark G, Monday, 16 July 2007 08:29 (eighteen years ago)

I still have quite a few. Smells Like Teen Spirit, Smells Like Nirvana, Come As You Are, Loser, Three Little Pigs, Everything About You*, Mr. Wendal, The Show Must Go On b/w Bohemian Rhapsody, Rebirth of Slick, Hey Sandy (Pete & Pete theme song)...

*I taped over it at some point with the uncensored EP version - hey, I was 11.

― marmotwolof, Monday, 16 July 2007 11:18 (eighteen years ago)

Dressed so fine, he's such a cool dude
Hear him say "Here's Johnny"
Watch him selling beer and dog food
Hear him say "Here's Johnny"

still one of my favorite rhymes ever

― Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 16 July 2007 12:59 (eighteen years ago)

http://i13.ebayimg.com/03/i/04/27/2a/ea_1_b.JPG

― scott seward, Monday, 16 July 2007 13:05 (eighteen years ago)

i would consider myself an el debarge fan

― deej, Monday, 16 July 2007 15:10 (eighteen years ago)

eight months pass...

I missed this story the first time around.

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 27 March 2008 12:32 (eighteen years ago)

who farted she said? and smiled in her special way
-- cutty (mcutt), Friday, 30 April 2004 16:55 (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

I spent my entire adult life until now thinking that my cousin invented this

― Savannah Smiles, Thursday, 27 March 2008 14:05 (eighteen years ago)

yo this song rules!!!!!

― Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 27 March 2008 20:33 (eighteen years ago)

While I did not own a cassingle of "Who's Johnny?", I did own the cassette of the Original Motion Picture Soundtrack to Barry Gordy's "The Last Dragon" featuring music by El Debarge, including Top 40 hit "Rhythm of the Night".

― MC, Friday, 28 March 2008 11:47 (eighteen years ago)

That song made "The Last Dragon" seem like a much better movie than it turned out to be.

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 28 March 2008 11:55 (eighteen years ago)

Did Ben ever get his copy?

― roxymuzak, Friday, 28 March 2008 11:59 (eighteen years ago)

I have seen him a few times since then, at other thrift stores, and I was always a little hesitant to bring it up and reignite his monomania. Finally I mentioned it, "Did you ever track down that cassette single of Who's Johnny?", and he just BLEW IT OFF! Like it was never even IMPORTANT! He just moved on to some other thing: "DO YOU KNOW WHO THE JETS ARE? THEY WERE REALLY TALENTED, RIGHT? SOMETIMES YOU SEE THE JETS ON CASSETTE!" It was like running into Captain Ahab and having him go, "That whole whale thing? Kinda played out."

― briania, Friday, 28 March 2008 14:22 (eighteen years ago)

sheesh

he must have realized he could only get it on european import and was trying to make himself feel better about it

― roxymuzak, Friday, 28 March 2008 14:54 (eighteen years ago)

I'm terrified that I'm going to inherit his quixotic cassingle obsession. I've got a new Joel Whitburn guide since then, and it's imprinted in my mind that Who's Johnny reached a peak chart position of No. 3, debuting in April, 1986. I'm just a short step away from buttonholing strangers and asking them if I'm turning into Ben, right? RIGHT?!?!?!

― briania, Friday, 28 March 2008 15:08 (eighteen years ago)

seven years pass...

Fitting for a thread with such bugfuck origins, I guess, I can't believe I'd never seen the video for this song until just now. Pure Dada.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?t=1&v=yA9WhYnsD_4

― The New Gay Sadness (cryptosicko), Saturday, 12 September 2015 22:25 (ten years ago)

that's amazing. I haven't seen it since it's heyday, when it was HUGE on Nick Rocks. According to discogs, it was never released on cassingle.

― how's life, Saturday, 12 September 2015 22:37 (ten years ago)

I had the 7"!

― The New Gay Sadness (cryptosicko), Sunday, 13 September 2015 02:11 (ten years ago)

impossible not to smile at that

― calstars, Sunday, 13 September 2015 02:23 (ten years ago)

Alley Sheedy, so cute

― calstars, Sunday, 13 September 2015 02:23 (ten years ago)

― calstars, Sunday, 13 September 2015 02:24 (ten years ago)

Discogs has no cassette single of this.

― Mark G, Sunday, 13 September 2015 17:49 (ten years ago)

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