advice on quitting a band

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How would one go about quitting a band properly? I play guitar for this band and am getting less and less passionate about the music (not to mention the politics). So how to i tell this to my bandmates politely?

― fizzcaraldo (Justin M), Monday, 3 May 2004 22:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Heroin. Lots of it.

― dean!dean!dean (deangulberry), Monday, 3 May 2004 23:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Hire Nancy Spungeon's cousin.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 3 May 2004 23:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Alternately committ suicide.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 3 May 2004 23:04 (twenty-one years ago)

AIDS DUDE IT WORKS

― dean!dean!dean (deangulberry), Monday, 3 May 2004 23:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Show up to practice one day, collect all your stuff, and say you quit to all of them in person. Or just act like a total dick and wait for them to fire you. Whichever you're more comfortable with.

― Shakey Mo Collier, Monday, 3 May 2004 23:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Quitting a band is a lot like breaking up with a girlfriend— you can spend six months being a total passive-aggressive asshole and get her to be the one to dump you so that you can play the wounded victim to your friends and say bullshit like "I don't understand it, what did I ever do to her?", or you can suck it up and just say "sorry, it's not working out", pack up your things and move on with your life.

Also, setting the drummer on fire works. Sometimes.

― Nick Mirov (nick), Monday, 3 May 2004 23:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Fake your own death. That's how I've quit most of the jobs I've had and I imagine it'd work just as nicely in a band situation.

― Charlie Rose (Charlie Rose), Monday, 3 May 2004 23:29 (twenty-one years ago)

if you care about maintaining friendships or even business connections with them afterwards, maybe give them notice so that they have time to find a replacement.

― Al (sitcom), Monday, 3 May 2004 23:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Write a song about it and sing it with a barbershop quartet.

― uh (eetface), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 00:15 (twenty-one years ago)

uh! no joke, that was brilliant.

― Al (sitcom), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 00:21 (twenty-one years ago)

the following methods have all been tested by actual people who have quit my band:

1) say, "i'm going upstairs for a cigarette." don't come back. ever. (you need to be in a basement rehearsal space to pull this off; otherwise the "going upstairs" line will arouse suspicion.)

2) show up really, really, really drunk for the band's next gig. during the first song, hit the snare drum continually at inappropriate times, like not on the beat, or anywhere near it. appear to not notice that anything is amiss. toward the end of the song, break the drum head. complain very loudly, "my drum doesn't work!" say it again. and again, getting louder and whinier each time. spend five or six minutes staring at the snare, as if wondering how to fix it. do nothing else for the rest of the night. (you need to be a drummer to pull this off. otherwise, hitting the snare drum at all will arouse suspicion.)

3) join three other bands within a month. be sure to boast about them, one by one, as you join.

― fact checking cuz (fcc), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 01:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Tell the others that you're "more into the funk thing" and then immediately join a popular local jangly pop-rock band until a nationally known jangly pop-rock band fire their guitarist/main songwriter and ask you to join them. (You need to be in a band that is NOT "into the funk thing", otherwise telling them you're "into the funk thing" will arouse suspicion.)

― Buster (mokey), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 09:29 (twenty-one years ago)

... vote conservative.

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 09:38 (twenty-one years ago)

it's like pulling off a band aid. just go in and tell them honestly that you've had a lot of fun, but you're really not into the music anymore. they may be a little shocked at first, but they'll get over it. i've quit bands before and everyone lived.

― cw28 (cw28), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 18:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, you've just got to be straight up about it. It would be nice to offer to finish out any gigs that are already on the books though.

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 18:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Is there at least one other person in the band you'd feel comfortable working with in the long term? Both of you should quit and start a new thing.

― Johnny Fever (johnny fever), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 18:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Saying you don't have time to be in a band anymore, and hope they don't notice you've joined a more popular local band (that preferably plays a similar style of music).

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 18:25 (twenty-one years ago)

im in a band and our drummer left. we were all kinda pissd but it was what he wanted so we didnt really do or say much. now we hav a new drummer whos really cool and we still speak to the other guy !!
i love my band

― CAss (CAss), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 18:29 (twenty-one years ago)

come in wearing parachute pants during one rehearsal, mention several times how you think Lita Ford was misunderstood, and then stroll over to the piano and start jamming Headed for a Heartbreak later on.

― uh (eetface), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 18:32 (twenty-one years ago)

That would not raise any eyebrows in some of my bands.

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 18:33 (twenty-one years ago)

*thinks of the band in School of Rock*

― uh (eetface), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 18:34 (twenty-one years ago)

my favorite part of the madonna: innocence lost biopic was when maddy slept with the drummer her manager hired for her just so she could have him kicked out of the band for unprofessional behavior and bring in her own guy.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 18:36 (twenty-one years ago)

she sucked in Evita

― uh (eetface), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 18:36 (twenty-one years ago)

that is to say, she slept with the guy so she could have him kicked out, not that her manager hired him for that reason. obv.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 18:37 (twenty-one years ago)

she sucked in Evita

that's nice.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 18:37 (twenty-one years ago)

MADONNA SUCKS

― CAss (CAss), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 18:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Don't talk too much about quitting before telling the band.
Rumour moves faster than you can.

― sexyDancer, Tuesday, 4 May 2004 18:41 (twenty-one years ago)

cherish the thoughttttttttttt

― uh (eetface), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 18:41 (twenty-one years ago)

i COMPLETELY agree with that..... COMPLETELY. something like that just happened to me..it kinda sucked.

― CAss (CAss), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 18:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Tell your band that you've experienced a spiritual breakthrough and will only be playing [weird unconventional instrument] for the rest of your life.

"Sorry guys, I've gotta quit so I can dedicate my life to the PERFECTION of the ART of the WASHBOARD."

― washboard confessional (nickalicious), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 18:47 (twenty-one years ago)

book a behind the music special and claim they owe you royalties on it.

― uh (eetface), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 18:48 (twenty-one years ago)

break up over email.

― maria tessa sciarrino (theoreticalgirl), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 19:06 (twenty-one years ago)

i mean, QUIT over email.

― maria tessa sciarrino (theoreticalgirl), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 19:06 (twenty-one years ago)

no way dont do that. just say it to their face. always be honest

― CAss (CAss), Tuesday, 4 May 2004 19:09 (twenty-one years ago)

"2) show up really, really, really drunk for the band's next gig. during the first song, hit the snare drum continually at inappropriate times, like not on the beat, or anywhere near it. appear to not notice that anything is amiss. toward the end of the song, break the drum head. complain very loudly, "my drum doesn't work!" say it again. and again, getting louder and whinier each time. spend five or six minutes staring at the snare, as if wondering how to fix it. do nothing else for the rest of the night. (you need to be a drummer to pull this off. otherwise, hitting the snare drum at all will arouse suspicion.)

3) join three other bands within a month. be sure to boast about them, one by one, as you join."

Uh, this is what I actually do, and I don't want to quit my band(s)

― Sasha (sgh), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 05:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Tell them you're quitting the group because you got hired to be on the children's television show Xuxa.

― uh (eetface), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 13:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Slip out the back, Jack.

― Rockist Scientist, Wednesday, 5 May 2004 13:13 (twenty-one years ago)

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