Worst hook ever

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Opening guitar line to "Hotel California"

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 03:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Any pop punk post-Dookie.

― GET TO THA' (PRICE) CHOPPA!!!!!!!! ROFFLE!!!!!!!! (ex machina), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 03:37 (twenty-one years ago)

The opening and chorus riff for Guns n Roses - 'Sweet Child O' Mine'; or the keyboard riff for Van Halen's 'Jump'. I can't decide.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 06:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Jump

― GET TO THA' (PRICE) CHOPPA!!!!!!!! ROFFLE!!!!!!!! (ex machina), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 06:38 (twenty-one years ago)

It might be that this is the riff you could here in every keyboard shop during the 80's. It was Smoke on the Water for keyboard players.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 06:41 (twenty-one years ago)

those are great! i think donut was on the right track.

how about beck? all those 90's-redolent flavors don't seem to go down so well no more, even with him

― duke capitan, Wednesday, 5 May 2004 06:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Rolling Stones, "Shattered." One of the most singularly tuneless songs ever, from the WAY-overrated Some Girls LP

Spandau Ballet, "True" - Possibly the most loathed (by me) song in history. Can't decide what I hate more: the breathy "ha ha-ha haaaa"
vocal or the wispy, stillborn guitar lick. Not improved in the least by PM Dawn.

Steve Miller Band, "The Joker" - A not-bad song ('specially when Homer Simpson sings along!), but that simulated (by slide-guitar thru wah-wah) wolf-whistle is the gayest thing ever. No, wait - make that the SECOND-gayest thing ever, since I just retrieved a horrible repressed memory: Culture Club's "War Song". Right you are, Georgie baby: People ARE stupid!

― Myonga Von Bontee (Myonga Von Bontee), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 07:27 (twenty-one years ago)

"Dancing in the Moonlight" by Toploader.

I can barely type the words, so sheer is the danger that that "hook" might trouble my thought patterns once more.

*shudders*

― Herbie 4000 (Herbie 4000), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 11:30 (twenty-one years ago)

This year's Swiss Eurovision entry: "Celebrate" by Piero Esteriore & The MusicStars.

Clap your hands, oh clap your hands
Everybody just clap your hands
Clap your hands, oh clap your hands
Have a wonderful time
Celebrate, oh celebrate
Everybody, let's celebrate
Celebrate, oh celebrate
'Cause the world is a beautiful place

Even worse because it WORKS. Horribly.

― mike t-diva (mike t-diva), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 11:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Doctor

― coco, Wednesday, 5 May 2004 11:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Gotta be "Black Water" by the Doobie Brothers. The coda that goes:
I wanna hear some funk in Dixieland
pretty mama take me by the hand
By the hand
Hand!
Take me by the hand
pretty mama
wanna dance with your daddy all night long

By the hand! HAND!

― mike a, Wednesday, 5 May 2004 12:11 (twenty-one years ago)

"Hold My Hand" from Hootie & The Blowfish. The most simplisitic moronic riff of all time... of course, that's why it was a hit. Anyone could remember it and sing it.

― hector savage, Wednesday, 5 May 2004 12:18 (twenty-one years ago)

"Fascination" by the Human League isn't the worst, but it's the clumsiest.

Worst is "Magic Stick."

― Joseph McCombs, Wednesday, 5 May 2004 12:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm trying to understand why some of you are choosing hugely catchy and pop hooks - why not instead pick something that is so un-catchy that it utterly fails in its fuction as a hook?

― Matthew Perpetua (Matthew Perpetua), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 13:13 (twenty-one years ago)

life is a highway -- tom cochran

cryin' -- aerosmith

what's going on -- 4 non blonds

― cw28 (cw28), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 13:16 (twenty-one years ago)

why not instead pick something that is so un-catchy that it utterly fails in its fuction as a hook?

Give us an example ...

― cw28 (cw28), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 13:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Megadeth, "The Doctor is Calling"

― uh (eetface), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 13:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Obviously it's "Vaseline" by Stone Temple Pilots.

― Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 13:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah I kind of need this thread explaining to me aswell..
But barring that I nominate: "ABRA- ABRA- CADABRA/ i WANNA REACH OUT AND GRAB YA"

― de, Wednesday, 5 May 2004 13:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Human League - Fascination and Van Halen Jump are both two of the greatest hooks ever.

What da Hook Gon Be? is the most half-assed hook ever.

― David Allen (David Allen), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 14:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Peter.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 14:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Captain

― rainman (rainman), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 14:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Franz Ferdinand - "This Fire"

― Mr. Snrub (Mr. Snrub), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 14:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Dr.

― Mark (MarkR), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 14:24 (twenty-one years ago)

50 Cent, P.I.M.P.

Also qualifies as one of the worst songs I've ever heard.

― uh (eetface), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 16:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm trying to understand why some of you are choosing hugely catchy and pop hooks

Catchiness is in the ear of the beholder, and a hook can be entirely unwelcome - just ask any fish! I'd prefer a song that makes ABSOLUTELY no impression on me to a hook that I hate, forever imprinted on my brain. I interpreted "Worst Hook Ever" as meaning the former, and not the latter. Having said that, I realize now that my choice of "Shattered" was a poor one better suited to the former category. So I'll replace it with Prince's ancient "Delirious" and its squeaky rubber-duckie synth line.

― Myonga Von Bontee (Myonga Von Bontee), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 16:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Delirious rules. Rockabilly with synths

― uh (eetface), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 16:19 (twenty-one years ago)

now yr messing with-nazareth

― thomas de'aguirre (biteylove), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 18:05 (twenty-one years ago)

oooooh that smeeell
can't you smell that smell
oooooh that smeeeeell
it's the smell that's arooouund yoooooouuuuu

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 18:22 (twenty-one years ago)

unquestionably "takin care of business"; the kicker is that GODDAMNED "... and workin overtime" bit. *vomits*

― fk, Wednesday, 5 May 2004 18:51 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'm Lovin' It" -- the new McDonalds jingle.

― Clarke B. (Clarke B.), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 19:23 (twenty-one years ago)

"Old Time Rock 'n' Roll" *shudder*

― Clarke B. (Clarke B.), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 19:24 (twenty-one years ago)

"Simply the best, better than all the rest"

― sexyDancer, Wednesday, 5 May 2004 19:25 (twenty-one years ago)

"I feel like makin' looooooooove"

― original bgm, Wednesday, 5 May 2004 22:31 (twenty-one years ago)

"and i LOOOOOOVE the thought of coming home to you
even if i know we can't make it
and i LOOOOOOVE the thought of coming home to you
just that little ray of light shining THROOOOOOOOOOUGH"

the worst of the worst.

truly loathesome.

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 22:34 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'm a DICK!! I'm ad-DIC-TED TO YOU!!!!!!!!!" is, without a doubt, THE WORST HOOK EVER!!!

― Mr. Snrub (Mr. Snrub), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 23:00 (twenty-one years ago)

What about the synth line in Europe's "Final Countdown"?

― wetmink (wetmink), Wednesday, 5 May 2004 23:09 (twenty-one years ago)

The Final Countdown rules!!

― original bgm, Wednesday, 5 May 2004 23:35 (twenty-one years ago)

.38 Special "Rocking Into the Night"

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Thursday, 6 May 2004 00:40 (twenty-one years ago)

see, The Final Countdown, in all it's cheesiness, is another guilty pleasure of mine. It's insanely catchy for some reason, even though I generally hate shit like that :)

("Carrie", on the other hand, sucks.)

whoever mentioned Old Time Rock 'n Roll, thank you. Agreed.

Lenny Kravitz--Fly Away

I HATE THAT FUCKING SONG

― uh (eetface), Thursday, 6 May 2004 00:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Collective Soul - "Shine" and "World I Know"

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 6 May 2004 00:45 (twenty-one years ago)

You had to go remind me of the existence of Collecting Soil, now didn't you?

Just for that...

Del Amitri--Roll to Me

― uh (eetface), Thursday, 6 May 2004 00:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Collective Soul are perfectly harmless. They're not annoying enough to be truly hated, but they're too generic to be truly loved.

― Mr. Snrub (Mr. Snrub), Thursday, 6 May 2004 00:47 (twenty-one years ago)

That was in their later days.

I had to hear "Shine" on every goddamned radio station for what seemed like eternity when I was in middle school.

― uh (eetface), Thursday, 6 May 2004 00:48 (twenty-one years ago)

"Vaseline" is pretty bad..

worst: Lit, "My Own Worst Enemy"

― daria g (daria g), Thursday, 6 May 2004 00:51 (twenty-one years ago)

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, my god.

I think we have a winner, with daria's post.

― uh (eetface), Thursday, 6 May 2004 00:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I once heard a Fuel song that actually RIPPED OFF Collective Soul's "Heavy" and I nearly broke down at the realization that music had imploded into some new meta-level of shitlitude

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 6 May 2004 00:52 (twenty-one years ago)

x post
Yeah, I can't get over that one. so fucking bad. worst. hook. ever.

― daria g (daria g), Thursday, 6 May 2004 00:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not sure they ripped it off, I think it has more to do with the fact that they only know 6 chords.

― uh (eetface), Thursday, 6 May 2004 00:53 (twenty-one years ago)

ok, I'm going to make a metalist of shittiness going back to wayback when:

Breeders--Cannonball (the defenders can shut up)
Matchbox 20--Push (ahahHAHAHAHAHahahaha)
The Flys--Got You Where I Want You (what an amazing riff...<yawn>)
Counting Crows--Round Here (Durvitz, SHUT THE FUCK UP)
Deadeye Dick--New Age Girl
Silverchair--Tomorrow

― uh (eetface), Thursday, 6 May 2004 00:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Ohmygod, the college radio station is now playing an awesome synthpop version of the Miami Vice theme. I'm just going to focus on that to get these songs out of my head.

― daria g (daria g), Thursday, 6 May 2004 01:02 (twenty-one years ago)

That song that samples a baby.

― Kim (Kim), Thursday, 6 May 2004 01:03 (twenty-one years ago)

the first big Sugar Ray single, and the one about his girl leaving her halo on the bedpost

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Thursday, 6 May 2004 01:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Whatever that Dave Matthews Band song is with the hook that goes "I'm a doggie on a chain/don't bite the mailman". STAB STAB STAB

― Nate in ST.P (natedetritus), Thursday, 6 May 2004 01:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Blues Traveller - Runaround

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Thursday, 6 May 2004 02:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I suppose whoever played guitar on that track musta begged to loop the tracks because it's pretty fucking tiring to keep strumming G-C-Am-D over and over again.

― uh (eetface), Thursday, 6 May 2004 02:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Speaking of bad hooks, "Sweet Child O' Mine" (Guns N' Roses)
was pure album filler ("We were required to do one power ballad"),
written in about two minutes, and the hook never did anything for me,
although the solo's pretty nice.

― Squirrel_Police (Squirrel_Police), Thursday, 6 May 2004 16:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Slash hated that famous lead and said he loathed every time the song came up in the setlist on tour. He was offended by the fact that something written during a drunken jam session as a complete joke turned out to be their hugest hit.

― uh (eetface), Thursday, 6 May 2004 16:50 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll see your Blues Traveler and raise you a Sister Hazel - "Happy"

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 6 May 2004 18:44 (twenty-one years ago)

or "All for You," which has the exact same chord progression as "Runaround"

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 6 May 2004 18:48 (twenty-one years ago)

God, was all '90s jangle-pop the worst thing ever?

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 6 May 2004 18:48 (twenty-one years ago)

"Tonight. I ce-le-brate! . . . my loooove. For you."

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Thursday, 6 May 2004 18:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Third Eye Blind: Graduate.

― Sean Witzman (trip maker), Thursday, 6 May 2004 18:54 (twenty-one years ago)

This is pretty much the only Guns N' Roses song I like, other than "November Rain", so here's to, um, offending Slash, wherever you are, you snake-adorned guitarmaster you.

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 6 May 2004 19:13 (twenty-one years ago)

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