BRITNEY.

Anyhow, Britney is horrible. It's not even as good as Oops... which wasn't that great itself. The thing is, all the singles off Oops are much better than the obsensible singles off Britney. Terrible, terrible, terrible. If this is the result of wanting to become rockist, she needs to go back to being popist ASAP.

a. there isn't a song on here as good as "i'm a slave 4 u"

b. the "i love rock n' roll" cover is about as "authentic rock" as, oh, daft punk. (but terrible. just terrible. unlike daft punk.)

c. i love her anyway.

I'd love to see a Jess/Justin bitchslap duel at dawn.

I love Britney despite her obvious shortcomings, such as this wretched album, 100%. But it doesn't mean this album isn't awful. It is, it's terrible, it's not even Tiffany quality. And the artwork!

Did I read here, or elsewhere, that when asked why she covered "I Love Rock and Roll" she explained "I've always liked Pat Benetar..."

Theoretically, it's all good, I mean, the image JM describes would be great. The resulting sound would be demonspawn, though, and I'd like to think that at the end of the day that's the important bit.

Anyhow, fine then, you listen to Britney Spears doing a bad Pat Benetar impression, it doesn't affect me any!

1. it's actually quite good in parts. so i retract my earlier statements.

2. "i love rock n' roll" still rots.

3. the production is stellar; so listen on headphones if possible.

4. if the "rave virus" that's infected hiphop and nu-r&b since 1997 (and subsequently every american non-dance beat based music) is following the path of its daddy, then we're right on time for a stagnation ala techstep/neurofunk. sho nuff, tune into any "urban" radio station, and unless you recognize the voice, many tracks are indistingushible monogroove, a (harsher) off-kilter metallic shuffle and repeat-until-you-wanna-break-something electro-riff. (all too similar, although somewhat more sprightly, than a doc scott set of d&b post-1998.) it's completely lacking in the energy, fun, and - most importantly - multiple ideas per song of "bugaboo," "up jumps da boogie," "pony," etc. for all its faults (and there are many), britney copping slightly-past-their-use-date ideas from hiphop and mutating them through the filter of teen pop song smithery reinforces the gap of whats been lost in the "fall" of nu-r&b (why i can't be arsed much to care about it anymore), if not offering any outs, per se.

to sum up:

modern hiphop/nu-r&b = neurofunk

britney = breakbeat hardcore?

therefore, best album of the year, QED!

(which would make the neptunes = acen? comeon, even britney's glottal to helium menstruating cap yawp fits.

or maybe i'm just projecting my own obsessions on it.)

britney's next single then produced by e. neubauten?

(thank you, thank you. i'll be here all week. you've been a fabulous audience.)

Dubplatestyle: well, i listened to it more on the ride home and parts of it are actually quite good. if the neptunes had produced the whole thing and they'd lost the godawful teenpop torch songs it woulda been a masterpiece.

MitchAnon: they still cling to their ballads, afeared of prom- exclusions perhaps

MitchAnon: for some reason, 'slave' sounds noticeably better in high mtv rotation than it did on my hard drive.

Dubplatestyle: well, you can hear all the little multitracked brit noises in the back...a mosaic of pubescent orgasm sounds. Dubplatestyle: its kinda creepy, really. because it's...more obviously in-human than any other teenpop track i've ever heard. but, i suppose it makes the circle complete.

Anyway the new album is good. "Cinderella" is still the best song on it, a cross between the best bits of "Stronger" and "Lucky". There are several other good tracks and hardly any are unlistenable. It's roughly as consistent a listen as either Basement Jaxx album.

"I Love Rock'n'Roll" is not as bad as everyone says it is, it just falls into the usual cover trap and has too much respect for the original.

EdwardO is right on, "When I Found You" is a dope bonus ballad.

Not to mention the fact that our habit (as in mine, yours and that of others) of trying to use the jungle/d&b developmental analogy for everything rests on the premise that this process wasn't just a one-off event - and there's no good reason to say it was any more than that.

PS. Britney's album is on a par with previous release - less awful moments and less killer singles. Of course you can never truly judge the quality of a single until it's actually released as one.

That's so Zen, dude...

If "no real highs" and "only two devastatingly bad tracks" = the most solid pop album ever, than I'm a little confused. Shouldn't that be like, all good tracks??

What I mean is, the album doesn't have a Baby One More Time or a Born to Make You Happy on it. The 10 best songs are very strong. I Love Rock N Roll isn't TOO bad (camply amusing), I'm Not A Girl is the only BAD song. 10.5/12. Take off INAG and substitute When I Found You (a bonus track on some editions) and that makes 11.5/12. Now WHO out of the teen-pop set has a hit-to-miss level that good? No-one and anyone who mentions Mandy Moore will be forced, at gunpoint, to have sex with Christina Aguilera.

(and a collective groan goes up from ilm...)

So who wants to go to the movies?

Ob. Brit. Content: has anyone looked at the back cover for Britney? If she's really not yet a woman, this might be illegal.

Does anyone, anyone meaning oldskool alt.music.alternative losers, remember when Solinger used to post like 5 times a week on a.m.a that he thought he looked exactly like natalie Imbruglia? WTF?

But sadder than this is the fact that I remember it all so well.

Britney content: Is anyone looking forward to her movie Crossroads like I am? It should be even better than On The Line (which I will finally go see when it comes to the dollar theater down the block)! Will Britney be able to pull off playing a smart high school valedictorian?

And yeah, I remember him describing his hair as "like Bernard Butlers, but not as stylised". I mean, what?

as if i wasn't feeling bad enough about myself lately... ;)

Lance Bass looks quite fish-like, similar to Mena Suvari. Which is why it's funny that he's called Lance Bass.

Well, in fred's defense BB's hair did look sort of cleaned up on his first album cover, though not all that cleaned up. Still, you'd have to roll around in dirt or something to be less stylized.

Kim Catrall is the mom????

Yeah, Kim Cattral, I saw the trailer last night on Total Britney Live on MTV, which sucked but what can you do about that. Britney I guess is like adopted or some shit and she goes to find her real mom and she's all "Hey, mama, it's me, Lucy" after she knocks on some random door and it clips to the person at the door at it's Kim Cattral looking all "What the hell?"

I need to say something key and urgent about Britney though, and not about Bernard Butler's hair. I don't like her image. School girl was cool. Super slut was cool. Trying to outcrazy Christina Aguilera though? It's neither big nor clever to wear your underwear over leather pants.

I've not actually seen much of Britney's new image, I just read a silly article in Vogue with her talking about maturing but that's about it. The "Slave 4 U" she just looked kind of slutty and sweaty.

According to trusted sources, Christina has given up on the ways of the freak and reverting back to the midriff-baring days of "Genie in a Bottle" and "I Turn to You". Hot diggity damn. I think she looked her best in that _Mulan_ video, though.

When I wake up in the morning, I sorta look like Phranc.

And that's a bad thing? ;-)

Whereas this thread is just silly, and fred hasn't even bothered saying anything about imbruglia. Pah.

But more importantly, what do you suppose Natalie thinks of Emma Bunton.

I purchased a Messiah do it yourself kit. But I agree that the rediscovery of the insanity of Madonna/Janet is something to treasure.

Speaking of Miss Thang, I'm gonna go listen to _Britney_ right now. Can I have a mayeeah?

As for Britney, I just have this to share, it was in the Chicago Sun Times, an excerpt from her little joint press conference during which she said she was covering Pat Benatar in reference to "I Love Rock N Roll"

Question: Doug Elfman, The Las Vegas Review-Journal: This is a little personal question, so you can slap my face verbally if you want to. But I asked a lot of people--I told them that I was going to be talking to you--and of course what they wanted to know is, [you say] you're a virgin, but are there other ways that you and [boyfriend] Justin [Timberlake of 'N Sync] "work things out?" I don't know how else to put that, exactly.

Britney's answer: We can go to the next question.

(DeRogatis' catty remark): What Britney should have said: "Wouldn't you love to know, you pervert?"

well what are you then??!

i don't know i've read too many ILM posts at once and only slept 6 of the last 50-some hours. time to play with my joey fatone "action" doll and go to bed

alright, to contribute again to the intelligent, witty and acerbic discourse that was preceding my annoying arrival: what then is the consensus of best track on the album? I haven't heard it all yet, but "Slave 4 U" it must be, please. Q: why did Britney bounce off to (the) Neptune(s) ? A: because she was done with URANUS!! harday HAR HAR ok, sorry, i'll shtop.

But Tracer, have you not considered she might in fact be one herself? ;-)

HOLLYWOOD (Variety) - Another good reason to join the military: Britney Spears has requested that her live HBO concert on Nov. 18 air simultaneously on armed forces radio and TV without charge. "Britney Spears: Live From Las Vegas," which will emanate from the MGM Grand, will be carried by the American Forces Radio & Television Service (AFRTS) on its AFN-Atlantic and AFN-Pacific channels.

Throughout the show, Spears will interact via satellite with people at four military bases: the Marines' Camp Pendleton and San Diego Naval Station, both in California, the Army's Fort Polk in Louisiana and Lackland Air Force Base in Texas.

AFRTS reaches 800,000 U.S. military personnel and their families in 175 countries and territories, as well as sailors and Marines aboard U.S. ships at sea.

Reuters/Variety

Oh, come on now. Are we forgetting the Great Jay-Z / Nas Discussion? -- David Raposa

Well, all three are now back at the top of New Answers, so we can all judge for ourselves! Personally, I vote for JayZ/Nas: endlessly inventive and defies all attempts to moderate it. Madonna/Janet is too repetitive. And this thread is too ILE.

But seriously, we should have some end-of-year awards, with a shortlist of nominees that we can all vote for. How 'bout it, Mr/Ms Moderator?

There's also going to be a Freaky Trigger critics poll for the first time, because I'm curious to see what'll happen.

B)The aforementioned rant about Never Been Kissed is now up for your consumption in HTML. Take note that this was written hastily, unfinished, & back when I was less of a thoughtful critic & more of the angry rant school. Nonetheless, so I promised, and so shall I deliver.