John Mayer has opinions about music, requests touching.

Could use my touch... Uhm, come the fuck on. No one WANTS your touch. You suck.

you're giving Mos Def way too much credit.

he wanted to be a twat?

-rk

Is John Mayer really funnier than David Cross?

What's up with mixing tenses?

Oh Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you.

"Never Tear Us Apart," INXS. Still don't like that one.

He seems to have a sense of humor about himself, which may appear false modesty until you consider that someone like Sting would never, ever give himself less than a B+ on a bad day.

The rebellious passion.

Though he’s become a major star, he plans to use his monthly column to highlight albums from musicians who haven’t hit the mainstream yet. In his debut, he lauds quirky singer Nellie McKay.
“Anybody can review records that are coming out next week, but I want to review people that don’t get noticed,” he said.

HAHAHAHA.

"Mayer! Here's the latest major label promo push stuff. Review it or we'll cut your balls off."

*sniffles* "Yes sir."

I think its funny that everyone seems to have this "John Mayer makes shitty music so why should I care what he thinks of others" attitude. So.... I take it that everyone here who bashes the guy feels pretty confident that they are more accomplished musicians than he is??

I'm not one to say everyone owes by the Beatles, but Mayer seems like a particularly good example of someone whose music is very much a direct descendant of the Beatles.

No, but our taste is such that it wouldn't allow us to make music that shitty and release it with our name on it. Since his does, he must have shitty taste. I'm sure he likes plenty of good stuff, but almost by coincidence.

The Beatles--in addition to being a musical combo that made several record albums--are reputed to have been an unprecedented cultural, social, and economic phenomenon. Mobbed by legions of screaming teenaged girls, the flowering of a sense of transatlantic culture (rather than the US and UK being islands on the opposite side of a cultural ocean), a new prominence for political and cultural posturing on the part of musicians, etc. Whether true or not, this narrative is out there in the culture.

To me, "missed episodes" means "In 1964, I wasn't 17 and blown away by 'Hard Day's Night.'" That is, you can think they sang some downright pretty songs but yet not be on board with the whole GREATEST BAND EVER thing.

And as for Mayer himself, well. I hate his music with a passionate intensity. But I was recently watching some random Clapton & Friends guitar festival thingy where he came out and played solo, and it must be said: the boy does in fact have considerable chops.

In that "Stevie Ray Vaughan is the greatest guitarist ever!" sort of way, which is still lame as fuck, sorry.

I posted that in reply to cutty's post upthread, to wit:

i would never listen to him, but for a singer-songwriter, he does have some chopskys.

I know musicians a little younger than me that got into music through Fugazi/Jawbox/Shellac/etc and went off to Don Caballero/Oxxxes/Thrill Jockey/Skin Graft/Wolf Eyes/Etc...and I can pretty safely say the Beatles don't mean shit to them....musically or otherwise.

john mayer has opinions about girls, requests touching himself:

I’m pretty culpable about being hard to live with. I have had a good run of imagining things into reality. I’ve got a huge streak of successes based on my own inventions. If you tell me I’m wrong or that I’m overthinking something, well, overthinking has given me everything in my career. I have a hard time not looking at anxiety disorder as being like an ATM. I can invent things really well. I mean, I have unbelievable orgasms alone. They’re always the best. They always end the way I want them to end. And I have such an ability to make believe, I can almost project something onto my wall, watch it and get off to it: sexually, musically, it doesn’t matter. When I meet somebody, I’m in a situation in which I can’t run it because another person is involved. That means letting someone else talk, not waiting for them to remind you of something interesting you had in mind.

My orgasms are always on the money.

the whole interview really takes the general concept of TMI to new mayer-ish levels.

MAYER: Here’s what I really want to do at 32: fuck a girl and then, as she’s sleeping in bed, make breakfast for her. So she’s like, “What? You gave me five vaginal orgasms last night, and you’re making me a spinach omelet? You are the shit!” So she says, “I love this guy.” I say, “I love this girl loving me.” And then we have a problem. Because that entails instant relationship. I’m already playing house. And when I lose interest she’s going to say, “Why would you do that if you didn’t want to stick with me?”

PLAYBOY: Why do you do it?

MAYER: Because I want to show her I’m not like every other guy. Because I hate other men. When I’m fucking you, I’m trying to fuck every man who’s ever fucked you, but in his ass, so you’ll say “No one’s ever done that to me in bed.”

PLAYBOY: Do you do something different in bed than other guys?

MAYER: It’s all about geometry. I’m sort of a scientist; it’s about being obtuse with an angle. It’s sort of this weird up-and-over thing. You gotta think “up and over.”

He's not like every other guy, because he gives them orgasms and makes them omelets before dumping them.

i just sicked everywhere

When I’m fucking you, I’m trying to fuck every man who’s ever fucked you, but in his ass

new ILTMI board description

xpost Not just any old orgasms, mind - vaginal orgasms. And not just any old omelette - a spinach omelette.

we have had our laughs over here tipsy:

Is John Mayer really funnier than David Cross?

aha. i didn't know which mayer thread to check.

in dude's defense, he seems to be reasonably aware of at least a few of his worst qualities

"the difference between me and those other guys is, I know I'm an asshole"

.. is defendable how?

I was 70% kidding

How does he know he's an asshole if he's never been fucked like any other man?

You gotta think “up and over.”

All other men are Eddie Waring.

PLAYBOY: There are some angry, accusatory songs on the record, but there are also self-critical songs. It goes through all the changing moods you have on the worst night of your life.

MAYER: Yeah, Battle Studies is that feeling between 10 p.m. and two a.m. when you have this wild level of arousal and optimism. It’s about the things people do to each other during those hours. I have wasted four hours of my life refusing to masturbate and believing that somehow the phone would ring and I’d get a call from somebody I hadn’t talked to in years.

PLAYBOY: The phone will ring and your life will change?

MAYER: Yeah. It’s like looking for a fix. I’ll spend four hours not even putting anything into motion, just believing somehow it’s going to come my way.

PLAYBOY: Among the things we’ve read about you online is this: You’re gay. Have you ever kissed a man?

MAYER: The only man I’ve kissed is Perez Hilton. It was New Year’s Eve and I decided to go out and destroy myself. I was dating Jessica at the time, and I remember seeing Perez Hilton flitting about this club and acting as though he had just invented homosexuality. All of a sudden I thought, I can outgay this guy right now. I grabbed him and gave him the dirtiest, tongue-iest kiss I have ever put on anybody—almost as if I hated fags. I don’t think my mouth was even touching when I was tongue kissing him, that’s how disgusting this kiss was. I’m a little ashamed. I think it lasted about half a minute. I really think it went on too long.

Is "putting something into motion" his euphemism for wanking?

Interesting, btw, that his comments on race caused a firestorm yet "almost as if I hated fags" passed unremarked, at least in the places I've seen.

"the difference between me and those other guys is, I know I'm an asshole"

The funny thing about self-proclaimed assholes is that they always think they're the only ones who have the courage to cop to it. But no, there's a surprising number of assholes who want everyone to know that they're assholes.

Eerily:

actually im a pretty self-confident asshole, but you do have a way with ruining threads with yr headbanging

― V-E-R-Y (history mayne), Friday, February 12, 2010 8:14 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

John Mayer is kind of the poster child of what happens when the smart, sensitive dude everyone ignores in high school become super famous before he figures out how to make friends.

I do wish I was Perez Hilton in that encounter though.

With Twitter, I can show my real voice. Here’s me thinking about stuff: “Wouldn’t it be cool if you could download food?”

ok this is four years old and I just found it by accident, but GOD DAMN what a tool
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fe87Ih-YOcU

he dresses like a dickhead

that’s one of the lesser of his many crimes tbf

he switches his style up every year

btw this is 100% my kids favorite song from 2018 and it's not even close
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CJ3BTsY8-c

my condolences

ha i find it quite funny.