We're Night-Clubbing.

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We've done a certain amount of complaining/debating about clubs, club DJing, club soundracks, etc etc on ILX/ILM over the years. Let's say (hey, you know for argument's sake) that someone was to invent a brand new night in some cellar/bar/warehouse in London or same. Your advice/opinions are needed on how that clubbin' night should go in order that it be better than the stuff we hate. So to that end, perhaps you can find it in your music-loving hearts to answer the following:

If you could add one thing to the experience of clubs to make it better what would it be?

Thinking back to the best clubbing night/s of your life, which one thing in particular would you say made it/them diferent than all the others?

What are you most tired/bored of in the world of clubbing as you know it.

Thankyou.

― Everybodydance., Monday, 24 May 2004 13:40 (twenty-one years ago)

New drugs. No comedowns or nasty effects.

― hmmm (hmmm), Monday, 24 May 2004 13:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Speed pulling.

― Crickets Dance On Tequila Booty (Barima), Monday, 24 May 2004 13:49 (twenty-one years ago)

1. DJs instructed to play a diverse mix of interesting music: no one genre nonsense
2. Slush Puppy machines
3. Free Candy/ Sweets
4. Cheap Hot Food
5. "Swingers Rooms"

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Monday, 24 May 2004 13:50 (twenty-one years ago)

A pricing policy that increases the cost on the door for asymetric haircuts, polka-dots, Karen-O wannabees, etc.

(I actually plan to use this myself).

― ___ (___), Monday, 24 May 2004 14:05 (twenty-one years ago)

APPROPRIATE VENUE

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Monday, 24 May 2004 14:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Music at a volume that encourages dancing BUT NOT TINNITUS.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Monday, 24 May 2004 14:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Me on the bill

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 24 May 2004 14:56 (twenty-one years ago)

If you could add one thing to the experience of clubs to make it better what would it be?
More hard, minimal techno played at ridiculous volume levels.

Thinking back to the best clubbing night/s of your life, which one thing in particular would you say made it/them diferent than all the others?

Hard, minimal techno played at ridiculous volume levels.

What are you most tired/bored of in the world of clubbing as you know it.

90 % of clubs playing crappy house music instead of hard, minimal techno played at ridiculous volume levels.

In this sense, I agree with steve -- I can't find anyone playing the stuff I like so I will have to spin it myself.

This would be a good reason to move back to Berlin forever.

― Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Monday, 24 May 2004 15:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Sweets? Check.
Appropriate venue? We're working on it. Well, we will in good time.
Stevem on the bill? An offer we can't refuse surely.
Hard minimal techno? Erm...

― Everybodydance, Monday, 24 May 2004 16:17 (twenty-one years ago)

hmmm OTM. Until something new from the pharmacy drops in the pop culture lap, what you'll see is a slight but steady decline in the dance club milieu. If you consider that "electroclash" was probably (and I am saying PROBABLY) the biggest dance music genre craze of the last 5+ years (and was a recycled sound at that) and still managed to fizzle out in record time, it's safe to say that barring a new sound coming out of nowhere, it's going to take some new mind banger to bring the next generation of kiddies to the club and keep them there for more than a few months.

I know this doesn't really answer the question, but I'm just saying...

― jolly roger, Monday, 24 May 2004 16:33 (twenty-one years ago)

and we're glad you did.

paging dr. shulgin...

― harshaw (jube), Monday, 24 May 2004 16:58 (twenty-one years ago)

'...a new sound coming out of nowhere..'

Well yep, that's the idea.

― Everybodydance, Monday, 24 May 2004 17:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Microhouse

Cheaper drugs

Don't let so many greasy wankers in.

― Sasha (sgh), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 00:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually I think that clubs that play all-genres-all-the-time are really vibeless. What you need is a good mix of different nights that are devoted to a single genre or closely related genres (ie. electro/tech or hip hop/dancehall) and then, like, maybe one cross-the-board night on a Sunday or something. And the interior design should be one that it can be creatively enhanced with lighting etc to suit the night it's hosting perfectly. Bars which somehow encourage people to dance in spaces that are not strictly dancefloors (eg. among the couches) while still having a proper dancefloor are also a great thing - it creates a real overflowing street-party kinda vibe.

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 00:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Just to clarify -- I agree that one-genre clubs are boring, I just want more techno to be included.

― Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Tuesday, 25 May 2004 01:30 (twenty-one years ago)

two weeks pass...

hmmmm my perfect club would definitely have more cubicles in the ladies' loo. and anti-sticky carpet.

― gem (trisk), Saturday, 12 June 2004 13:48 (twenty-one years ago)

nine months pass...

Anything else? The hour is almost at hand (snail's pace? *us*?).

― Everybodydance, Saturday, 2 April 2005 12:41 (twenty-one years ago)

hey you're faster than me

latest criteria:

ABSOULTELY NO KILLERS, FRANZ, KAISERS OR ANYTHING ELSE XFM PLAYS A LOT IN THE DAYTIME

Lots of crunk pop and Scandinavian anything

― Sven Basted (blueski), Saturday, 2 April 2005 13:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Go to http://www.supperwiththestars.co.uk and get one of them to make a guest appearance. I'm thinking Tommy Docherty.

― A / F#m / Bm / D (Lynskey), Saturday, 2 April 2005 13:36 (twenty-one years ago)

girls with big bottoms and big tits dancing to the killers/kaiser chiefs/bloc party.

― scg, Saturday, 2 April 2005 14:35 (twenty-one years ago)

indie strip club!

― scg, Saturday, 2 April 2005 14:36 (twenty-one years ago)

check out the culture club in belgium, an ace club!

― nathalie doing a soft foot shuffle (stevie nixed), Saturday, 2 April 2005 15:01 (twenty-one years ago)

"hmmm OTM. Until something new from the pharmacy drops in the pop culture lap, what you'll see is a slight but steady decline in the dance club milieu. If you consider that "electroclash" was probably (and I am saying PROBABLY) the biggest dance music genre craze of the last 5+ years (and was a recycled sound at that) and still managed to fizzle out in record time, it's safe to say that barring a new sound coming out of nowhere, it's going to take some new mind banger to bring the next generation of kiddies to the club and keep them there for more than a few months. "

Ok for the last time, where on earth do you people come from? yeah electroclash fizzled in record time? right, if you haven't been to a club in 3 years that's a very accurate summary. honestly either get with it or don't bother saying anything.

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 3 April 2005 08:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I mean seriously can we have a dance thread on ILM where someone doesn't spout off about how "electroclash died" blah blah blah, anyone even remotely connected to the scene knows what complete and utter crap that view is.

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 3 April 2005 08:04 (twenty-one years ago)

EVEN IF IT WAS SAID A YEAR AGO

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 3 April 2005 08:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Umm, isn't crunk the biggest dance music genre craze of the last 5+ years? Does it not count for some reason? I don't know...

― Laszlo Kovacs (Laszlo Kovacs), Sunday, 3 April 2005 09:27 (twenty-one years ago)

here we go.....

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 3 April 2005 09:33 (twenty-one years ago)

get with it or don't bother saying anything.

u-huh.

― piscesboy, Sunday, 3 April 2005 10:12 (twenty-one years ago)

COMING TO A RANDOM SHITTY NEIGHBORHOOD NEAR YOU!!!!!

CLUB DISCO NIHILIST!!!!

CLUB DISCO NIHILIST FEATURES NOTHING BUT A PITCH BLACK RECTANGULAR ROOM WITH A SINGLE STROBE LIGH, A SMOKE MACHINE SO POWERFUL YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO SEE YOUR HAND 5 INCHES AWAY FROM YOU FACE AND IT WILL BE SO JAMMED PACT WITH SOUND THAT IT WILL MAKE A BULL ELK SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST!!!

CLUB DISCO NIHILIST FEATURES NOTHING BUT A GUY WITH AN 808 PLAYING AT 127BPM SCREAMING: IF YOU LIKE SEX, SAY SEX. IF YOU LIKE TO PARTY SAY PARTY. IF YOU THINK LEONARD COHEN IS A BITCH NIGGA, SAY FUCK A NARRATIVE!!!

CLUB DISCO NIHILIST HAS ALSO DISCOVERED THE FORMULA TO NUKE FROM ROBOCOP II. ONE HIT WILL LAST ALL NIGHT AND IS INCLUDED WITH ENTRY FEE. NUKE CAN MAKE THE POPE RUN AROUND AND FREAK OUT AND DO THE WIGGLY WORM AND SMEAR PEANUT BUTTER EVERYWHERE LIKE IGGY POP, AND THE POPE IS DEAD!!!

IF YOU WANT TO LOSE YOUR MIND AND JACK JACK JACK GET YR ARSE STRAIGHT TO CLUB DISCO NIHILIST!!!

CLUB DISCO NIHILIST: CAUSE WE DON'T GIVE A FUCK!!!

― Disco Nihilist (mjt), Sunday, 3 April 2005 23:10 (twenty-one years ago)

you nicked that concept from club cam0uflage, cologne

― fe zaffe (fezaffe), Sunday, 3 April 2005 23:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Vee are nile-ists, vee believe in nusssink!

― Drew Daniel (Drew Daniel), Sunday, 3 April 2005 23:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Vee are nile-ists, vee believe in nussink!

― Drew Daniel (Drew Daniel), Sunday, 3 April 2005 23:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, I stole that from a Zulu Nation bootleg from Miami in 1981.

Drew, you should do a split 7" with Autobahn, they are awesome live. I saw them jamming with Suicide in a storage shed in the SF in 1978. The Units and Nervous Gender opened. It was totally sweet.

My friend told me that you made a recording of your conversation with your parents when you came out of the closet. You released it, and then remarked that you believe that recording an event allows you to have power over a situation. That story makes my year.

― Disco Nihilist (mjt), Monday, 4 April 2005 00:07 (twenty-one years ago)

make live music performances a possibility, with a sound system to match. i fucking hate cafe-bar styled PA setups and booth's instead of a suitable stage area.. there's gotta be room for variation, and live bands / mc's makes a BIG difference in my book.

― chris andrews (fraew), Monday, 4 April 2005 00:21 (twenty-one years ago)

three weeks pass...

It's looking like July 22nd, and it's looking like in Manchester.

More details as/when.

― Everybodydance, Thursday, 28 April 2005 09:09 (twenty years ago)

two months pass...

Another couple of ILX regulars have had a baby and it will be born on FRIDAY 29TH JULY and it is called CLIQUE and it is in MANCHESTER and it is a DIGITAL DANCE-POP CLUBNIGHT! COME!

― piscesboy, Wednesday, 27 July 2005 15:02 (twenty years ago)

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