Let's all write the same thing at once! Gretchen Wilson provokes wistful nostalgia for Hee-Haw Nation

Frontline:
"Gretchen Wilson refers to herself as a redneck woman and is proud to admit she keeps her Christmas lights on all year long."

Don't forget the pigeon shoot competition next week. Practice polishing your birds.

Where oh where are you tonight?
Why did you leave me here all alone?
I searched the world over and I thought I'd found true love.
But you met another and PTHHP! you was gone.

You took out your false teeth, your wig and your glasses.
You were just scattered all over the place.
I wanted to kiss you and hug you so tightly.
I guess that I would have if I'd found your face.

I went to your house at three in the morning.
You had all them curlers and junk in your hair.
You would not have scared me and I'd not have run so,
If you had not looked like you'd wrestled a bear.

I told you my darlin' you looked like a gopher.
Made you so mad, you haven't spoke since.
But tell me my darling if you ain't got buck teeth.
How do you eat apples through a picket fence?

When I picked you up for our date last weekend.
You looked so pretty in your satin and lace.
But when I bent over and started to kiss you,
you popped a pimple all over my face!

Will PFFT YOU WERE GONE outlive "Redneck Woman"?

PFFT YOU WERE GONE
(Susan Heather)
« © '66 copyright control »

Down here on the farm the weather gets messy laying around with nothing to do
When you went away you took my cow Bessie I miss her darling more than I miss you
You took off your leg your wig and your eye-glass
And you shoud've seen the look on my face
I wanted to kiss I wanted to hug you but you were scattered all over the place
Where oh where are you tonight why did you leave me here all alone
I searched the world over and I thought I'd found true love
You met another and (pfft) you were gone

I know that you loved me here's my way of knowing
The proofs hanging out right there on the line
When I see the snow and feel the wind blowing
Your nighties hugging them long johns of mine
The noises you made at our supper table your habits my dear, were surely absurd
But how many times do I have to tell you soup is a dish to be seen and not heard
Where oh where...

Remember you phoned me a sobbin' and cryin'
The dog bit your maw and drug her around
You said she looked pale and thought she was dying
I said don't worry I'll buy a new hound
I had six kids and you had eleven and we had eight boys and they grew like flowers
I wish you'd come back without you ain't heaven
Cause your kids and my kids are beatin' up ours
Where oh where...
**********

Hmmm, I feel your pain, having been spawn with them meself. Every pop music critic writing this kind of tripe needs to suffer this mandatory punishment: You, hack, will cover the hog competition for the local section of your daily newspaper for at least two but not more than four county fairs in 2004. Alternatively, one pigeon shoot may be substituted for the entire assignment with the caveat that you interview not less than four the shooters, and that two must be women. Your news report must contain two paragraphs on why it is good to be a redneck. These paragraphs can also used to insult roundheads, homos, rag-heads, darkies, money-changers, Bill Clinton, people who don't read Tim LaHaye books...

When the chorus of "redneck women" sing along with their "Hell yeah!" on this song, is it a representation of something real? Would there really be a group of women who would be glad to contribute to the "Hell yeah!" chorus or would most think, "No, that's kind of corny?"

this reminds me that i want to pick up the new entertainment weekly with big and rich and gretchen on the cover.

No, it's kind of more like the representation of a football cheer in a stadium. Or the crowd singing along with Dave Peverett during "Slow Ride" in the 70's. Or of the same ilk, but not as grandiose and Nuremberg as "We Will Rock You." Maybe she could revive "Fat-Bottomed Girls," which I always thought was a good song and deserving of that kind of treatment.

http://www.screensavershot.com/sports/cold.jpg

http://www.newsmeat.com/celebrity_political_donations/Gretchen_Wilson.php

a country star endorsing a republican. how unusual!

quaint!