is there christmas music that doesn't make you want to gouge your eyes out?

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i need to find "holiday" cds that i can play in the store that are "acceptable" but won't drive me insane. they don't have to be xmas specific, just winter-y. help me. please. my time is short.

― jess, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

so far:

1. low xmas album

2. charlie brown xmas sndtrk.

3. the necks - sex (not xmas, but it's winter in a bottle.)

― jess, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Since I'm the first to have a chance to mention it this year... Phil Spector's! You can never stop Darlene's "Baby please come home" from twinkling in your ears like the tiny lights of a Xmas tree!

― Simon, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

millie pulled a pistol on santa and miles' 'blue x-mas'.

― ethan, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Here is a Holiday CD that won't deive you mad.

― JM, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I like that song by Burl Ives, I think, that goes a little something like this... "have a holly jolly christmas". I also like I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus and isn't there a Beatles christmas song that I like? I think there is. Anyway, I only hear it every other 2 or 3 years, so I like it when I hear it. Ya see, where the hell am I that they're playing that shit? My family, friends and relatives don't play it and the radio don't play it. Hell, I love it!

― Nude Spock, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Mannheim Steamroller.

― Otis Wheeler, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

And why isn't Low's "Blue Christmas" on repeat sufficient, Jess?

― Josh, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Mannheim Steamroller.

well, why don't i just drink out of a toilet.

― jess, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

'The Winter my Heart Froze' - Black Heart Procession

― turner, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Make a mix tape of low key meloncholy hymns, like in a bleak midwinter, o come o come emmanuel , Star of the Orient)

― anthony, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

As well Tilt by Scott Walker seems to work as well ,

― anthony, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

As well Tilt by Scott Walker seems to work as well

i'd really love to shop at an anthony managed store.

― jess, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives and Merry Christmas by Einheit Brotzmann.

― Andy, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Woohoo! All right, that's 2 for Holly Jolly Christmas. It is a great song, isn't it? Very soothing voice, that Burl.

― Nude Spock, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Christmas in Haiti" by the Would-Be-Goods brings other reactions from my eyes: emotionally and culturally doomed from the moment it was written. A wonder.

― Robin Carmody, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Question about thread title: wouldn't it make more sense to rip your ears off than to gouge your eyes out? Or why not simply put wine corks in your earholes and happily drink your eggnog?

― Nude Spock, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Bing Crosby sings "Mele Kalikimaka", and some other holiday tunes with the Andrews Sisters on his Christmas album. I say classic.

― dleone, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Low and Phil Spector are the only two I've ever enjoyed, but I'm feeling the Tilt suggestion. Mom will love it.

― dan, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The only Beatles Christmas song I can think of is "Christmas Time Is Here Again," an old fan club disc that eventually turned up as the b- side to "Free As A Bird." This piece of semi-interesting information was brought to you courtesy of my two or three pre-teen years spent absorbing useless Beatle trivia.

Unless you meant John and Yoko's "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)." I hope not.

― Justyn Dillingham, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Except the nutcracker, I seem to enjoy about any sort of Christmas music. From Manheim Steamroller's the Christmas Angel to Bing Crosby or Nat King Cole.

― Luptune Pitman, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

jess that is the best compliment i have heard in years . i am very very happy . but i think if i managed a record store it would be bankrupt very soon.

― anthony, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

maark kozalek is releasing a xmas album, with no xmas songs on it.

― Geoff, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The Tarquin Records All Star Holiday Extravaganza! Featuring so many great songs!...a selection:

1) Snowflakes - The Happiset Guys in the World
2) Flexible Flyer and R2D2 We Wish You a Merry Christmas - Brain Dewan
3) Beautiful x-Mas Lights (thou shalt not covert thy neighbours lights, but you sure have a beautiful sexy wife) - James Kochalka Superstar
4) Invisible Mistletoe - Franklin Bruno
5) Do They Know It's Christmas - Tarquin Record All Stars 6) Christmas Hockey News - the Zambonis
7) Christmas in Kenmore Square - The Swirlies
8) Santa Was Seen Flying Through Soviet Airspace - The Philistines Jr...

Loads of other great songs on this one!!!

The Kindercore Christmas albums are okay, but a bit twee...Christmas Two features the brilliant "always after christmas, boring" by the sixth great lake, and other good songs by junior varsity and kincaid.

That ends my long post on Christmas songs.

― james, Saturday, 17 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

SOrry, Xmas music has to be instrumental or it gets thrown out my window. Even the Spector stuff just makes me want to listen to "Da Doo Ron Ron" instead.

― dave q, Saturday, 17 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The way Mimi Parker sings on 'Just Like X-mas' makes me feel all warm and happy inside. That and La Rondallita's 'Mi Burrito Sabanero'

― Alacrán, Saturday, 17 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think Country music is great for Christmas if you want to depress everyone. Stick on 1000 dollar Wedding and watch them all spend more money to cheer themselves up. er........maybe.

― Ronan, Saturday, 17 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The Pines:

― David, Saturday, 17 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The Pines: In Time For Christmas Day

Arab Strap: a copy of that R1 Evening Session when they covered the Sugababes' "New Year" & Darlene Love's afore-mentioned "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)"

Last year's jeepster/xfm "It's A Cool, Cool Christmas" had a few OK tracks on it, including the standout Low number "Just Like Christmas"

― David, Saturday, 17 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The James Brown "Funky Christmas" compilation is pretty unstoppable..."Go Power at Christmas Time" is golden stuff and it's got some classic JB rants

― dave k, Saturday, 17 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

like at the end of hey america where he starts singing hava nagila and volare... "hey! right on! danke schon!!!"

― dave k, Saturday, 17 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Projekt's put out a couple of comps that satisfy the goth in me. In the meantime, most of my other candidates have been mentioned (Low, James Brown, Charlie Brown Christmas...).

― Ned Raggett, Saturday, 17 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

aphex twin: goon gumpas

― dog latin, Saturday, 17 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

funky xmas millennium: "sittin' at my computer! with my cellphone, fax, and beeper!" i could go on for hours.

― dave k, Saturday, 17 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Something which is long since deleted is the Ze Christmas record which features festive treats from Was (not Was), Suicide, Waitresses and one of the all time great Christmas songs 'Things fall apart' by Christina 'There wasn't any snow, but there was rain, he licked me like a candy cane'

― Billy Dods, Saturday, 17 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Les Disques De Crepescule did a rather nice Xmas LP in the early 80s, which usually gets an airing in my house in December, not least for Aztec Camera jazzing their way through some Chrimbo carols in a rather snazzy way. Lots of strange Europeans trying to be serious about it all too - and Paul Haig being ever so pompous over a drum machine - but it's got a Durutti Column track too so.... not a sleighbell in sight.

― Rob M, Saturday, 17 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Tilt"? I'm also petrified at the thought of clients entering a shop with that freaky record playing. It's absurd.

― Simon, Saturday, 17 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have started a collection of dronerock bands doing covers of "The Little Drummer Boy". So far I have Low, the Dandy Warhols (two different versions!), the Flaming Lips and... crikey, there was another one, but I always forget it. What is it with dronerock bands and that song?

When I was a wee tot (OK, about 17 or 18) me & friends used to joke about The Nico Christmas Album, how great that would have been. "Commm, they TOLD me, parrr um pa pum paaaahhhhhm, our vinest geeeeevts to giff, parrrr ummmm pa pum paaaaaaam."

― kate, Saturday, 17 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Greenwood Muse", an album of 14-16th century christmasy stuff...played on 13-17th century instruments. It's much better than the Kenny g Christmas album.

― Lord Custos, Saturday, 17 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Alexander O'Neal-My Gift To You

― Possum Slimm, Saturday, 17 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Bring On The Dancing Horses" - Echo and the Bunnymen. The sound of Xmas 1985.

And The Pines, natch.

― Michael Jones, Saturday, 17 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Destiny's Child Xmas CD on repeat play!

Nah, but seriously, what y'all bitching about? I love Christmas songs (except for that Paul McCartney abomination)

My personal C-90 would include:
The Waitresses - Christmas Wrapping
Brenda Lee - Rockin' Around ...
Low - Long Way Around The Sea
Herbert Howells - A Spotless Rose
Brooooce - Santa Claus is...
Madonna - Santa Baby
Cocteau Twins - Frosty The Snowman
Run DMC - Christmas in Hollis
Trad. - Adam lay y-bounden
Stan Freberg - Green Christmas
Wizzard - I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day

― Jeff, Monday, 19 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Proper chart-shagging Christmas songs are often great, indie christmas songs less so. Low are alright but I play Slade, Wizzard, Pogues'n'Kirsty, Spector, Wham!, and especially East 17 a lot more often. Also I bet Christmas in the Low household is too sacral by half.

― Tom, Monday, 19 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

slade, wizzard & spector, dudes

― gareth, Monday, 19 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

There's a Joe Gibbs Artists Do Xmas Songs In A Reggae Fashion (don't know the exact title) album which includes such greats as 'I'm Dreaming Of A Black Christmas' and the frankly insane 'I Saw Mommy Kissing A Dreadlocks'.

― Snotty Moore, Monday, 19 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Hurrah for the Ze Christmas album.
See also: Basement 5 - Last White Christmas

― James Kyllo, Monday, 19 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

There is only one acceptable answer: Clarence Carter's "Back Door Santa". Which is not as dirty as you might think from the title, he just comes in through through the back door to give women "presents" while their husbands are away.

― Nicole, Monday, 19 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

On a more trad tip:

John Fahey's Christmas album Duke Ellington's very swingin' version of the Nutcracker Suite (last seen on a CD called Three Suites, I think).

― lee g, Monday, 19 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Elvis - Blue Christmas

Run DMC - Christmastime in Hollis Queens

Darlene Love - Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)

Otis Redding - Merry Christmas, Baby

The Pogues - Fairytale of New York

― fritz, Monday, 19 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

wasn't there a Count Floyd reggae transylvanian christmas song? very scary, kids...

― pauls00, Monday, 19 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I second Mannheim Steamroller. Wheeler, one of us needs to download some of that shit before our next road journey, it'll be pretty close to Christmas whenever we do it, so it'll be appropriate. I don't think I can do the whole Falco/Sisters of Mercy thing again, I mean it was great yesterday but that was then, this is now. Then was Pretty in Pink, now is Mannheim Steamroller.

Phil Spector's album is obviously the best Christmas album. And Now That's What I Call Christmas, I'm certain that's great.

― Ally, Monday, 19 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

we just got NOW that's what I call xmas in today, so we shall see shortly.

― jess, Monday, 19 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It is pretty sacral, Tom, but we've got beer.

― Josh, Tuesday, 20 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Redd Kross (of course)-"Mary Christmas"

"Cause it's winter and it's easier to be nice!"

Also by Redd Kross-"Super Sunny Christmas"

And Joan Jett's "Little Drummer Boy" and the Dickies' "Silent Night".

― Arthur, Tuesday, 20 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The Ramones - "merry christmas (I don't wanna fight tonight)"

― fritz, Tuesday, 20 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Got an e-mail about this today. Thought some of you may be interested.

Lonely this Christmas? - press release
(shoegaze/slocore/indie/lo- fi/experimental/post-rock/electronica christmas compilation album for charity)

"This compilation features up-and-coming artists from around the world (UK, Norway, USA, Chile, and more) with artwork by aaron jasinski. All proceeds from this album will go to UNICEF.

Bands include: lorna, coastal, silverman, the slow return, lila tov, alcove, chemistry experiment, parrado, moya, solar plexus, sufferkiss, meteoro, and playhouse

These bands have come together to create some of the most beautiful, sad, merry, funny, and original holiday songs you will hear this season. We could go on about how good this CD is, but you really need to hear it for yourself. You may preview and purchase the whole CD here:
http://www.mp3.com/lonelychristmas

Organized in Nottingham, UK by mark from the band lorna and released on star trip records, the album is being released as an mp3.com D.A.M. CD in order to get the music out in time for the holidays. The cost was set as low as possible in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there ... no wait, in hopes that you would all buy a copy or two, that's it!"
(press releases continues, but you get the idea)

― Jeff W, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

my pal god outta lawrenceville, nj, has a couple of sooper christmas comps featuring the likes of oxes, rebecca gates, and emperor penguin. also, the label's proprietor does a 24-hour christmas show every year (this year will be his 14th straight!) on princeton's wprb.

― maura, Friday, 30 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

six years pass...

Christmas albums I wish existed:

- Christmas with Crass
- Miss Kittin Sings Your Holiday Favorites (best track = dreidel song)
- A Very Minimal Christmas (with 20-minute Villalobos "Silent Night")
- Dub the Halls (may in fact actually exist)
- The Black Metal Winter Solstice Pagan Festival All-Stars Defile the Music of Your Empty "Christmas"

― nabisco, Thursday, 20 December 2007 22:32 (eighteen years ago)

Actually the dreidel song might shine better on A Happy Hardcore Hannukah. Also:

- The Groop Played "Good King Wenceslas"

― nabisco, Thursday, 20 December 2007 22:34 (eighteen years ago)

i heard the jackson 5 xmas album at walgreens last night, it totally didn't make me want to gouge my eyes out.

(if i did gouge my eyes out, though, i'd still be able to hear it?)

― Jordan, Thursday, 20 December 2007 22:35 (eighteen years ago)

I might as well link this new piece of mine here.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 20 December 2007 22:42 (eighteen years ago)

Stevie Wonder's Christmas album is terrific; I listened to it again and "Bedtime For Toys" actually made me CRY, and I'm not at all the type to cry at music. But for every heartbreaking track, there's something joyous, like "What Christmas Means To Me," which has not yet been ruined by its appearance in every single Christmas movie trailer ever.

― musically, Thursday, 20 December 2007 22:46 (eighteen years ago)

Mentioned elsewhere though not on this thread - Maddy Prior & The Carnival Band's several Xmas records - art tops.

― t**t, Friday, 21 December 2007 15:00 (eighteen years ago)

Dub the Halls (may in fact actually exist)

I can't believe it doesn't already exist, at least according to a cursory Google search. Someone should get on that right away.

― Jazzbo, Friday, 21 December 2007 15:08 (eighteen years ago)

Christmas with Crass

This does exist! They did a "Merry Crassmass" EP

― Colonel Poo, Friday, 21 December 2007 15:12 (eighteen years ago)

The KT Tunstall version of "Mele Kalikimaka" is quite pleasant.

― Guayaquil (eephus!), Friday, 21 December 2007 15:51 (eighteen years ago)

Mannheim Steamroller.

well, why don't i just drink out of a toilet.

-- jess, Friday, November 16, 2001 1:00 AM (6 years ago) Bookmark Link

lol.

my mom used to play mannheim steamroller when i was growing up.

― Mark Clemente, Friday, 21 December 2007 15:57 (eighteen years ago)

i'd like to get fahey's christmas albums.

― Mark Clemente, Friday, 21 December 2007 15:58 (eighteen years ago)

No.

― Saxby D. Elder, Friday, 21 December 2007 20:16 (eighteen years ago)

actually, NO.

― nerve_pylon, Friday, 21 December 2007 21:25 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0z5gcCMExA

― r|t|c, Friday, 21 December 2007 21:37 (eighteen years ago)

YES to Fahey's Christmas albums.

― sleeve, Friday, 21 December 2007 23:51 (eighteen years ago)

also, "Merry Crassmas" is so hilarious and great.

― sleeve, Friday, 21 December 2007 23:52 (eighteen years ago)

I'm looking for a song I heard at Spencer's today. It was down-tempo hiphop . The guy kept saying "shoppin'" or maybe "we're going shoppin'". And there was backing vocals by girls.

― CaptainLorax, Friday, 21 December 2007 23:58 (eighteen years ago)

Neil Diamond's "The Christmas Album" will drive you so crazy that you'll go sane. I have no compunctions about throwing this record on. If you don't want to waste money on the whole record*, Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town and his "doo-wop" version of A White Christmas are standout tracks.

*iTunes lists it at 9.99; I got it used from the bargain bin

― kingkongvsgodzilla, Saturday, 22 December 2007 00:05 (eighteen years ago)

I love the Charlie Brown Christmas album, but I've got to admit that I'm starting to get a little burned out by its total constantly playingness wherever I go these days. Was in a record store over lunch break, and they had it on repeat. Clearks were like, "Is it on repeat?" "Yeah." "Woo!"

Over the past few weeks I've heard it in Ikea, a yarn store, more than one coffee shop, a bookstore, several friends houses, my house, and mentioned more than once in conversations about acceptable christmas music. I mean, thank god it ain't Sufjan, but enuf z'nuf.

Fahey recs are good.

― contenderizer, Saturday, 22 December 2007 00:45 (eighteen years ago)

Xmas Rap by The Treacherous Three.
+ Christmas in Hawaii on Tino's Breaks.
and the Wham! one.

Mannheim Steamroller and that McCartney one are the fucking Holocaust.

― El Tomboto, Saturday, 22 December 2007 00:57 (eighteen years ago)

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