Your favorite witty country song titles

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"She Got The Goldmine (I Got The Shaft)" and the like

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Thursday, 5 August 2004 21:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm The Biggest Hell My Mama Ever Raised

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Thursday, 5 August 2004 21:47 (twenty-one years ago)

"The Light at the End of the Tunnel (Is The Light of An Oncoming Train)"

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 5 August 2004 21:53 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'm Gonna Hire A Wino to Decorate Our House"

"If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body, Would You Hold It Against Me?"

"She's Acting Single, I'm Drinking Double"

"Sleeping Single In A Double Bed"

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Thursday, 5 August 2004 21:54 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'm Gonna Hire A Wino to Decorate Our House"

that's such a fucking great song!

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Thursday, 5 August 2004 21:56 (twenty-one years ago)

"The More You Ignore Me, the Closer I Get"

― Sonny A. (Keiko), Thursday, 5 August 2004 22:01 (twenty-one years ago)

That new Cherry Bombs disc has "It's Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night that Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long."

― Josh in Chicago (Josh in Chicago), Thursday, 5 August 2004 22:06 (twenty-one years ago)

"all my exes wear rolexes."

― cºzen (Cozen), Thursday, 5 August 2004 22:08 (twenty-one years ago)

"My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend (And I Miss Him)"

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 5 August 2004 22:09 (twenty-one years ago)

"You Can't Have Your Kate and Edith, Too"

― bandy beta, Thursday, 5 August 2004 22:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Take This Job And Shove It
All My Exes Live In Texas
Here's A Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares

― jim wentworth (wench), Friday, 6 August 2004 00:52 (twenty-one years ago)

"She Got The Gold Mine, I Got The Shaft"
"The Shoes I Bought Just Walked Out On Me" (or something similar)
"What's Made Milwaukee Famous Has Made A Loser Out Of Me"
"I'm Basting A Turkey With My Tears"

OK, that last one I stole from "The Simpsons". But what IS it about these country songwriters - why have they always had a virtual monopoly on the greatest song titles?

― Myonga Von Bontee (Myonga Von Bontee), Friday, 6 August 2004 08:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Feelin' Single, Seein' Double.
It's The Bible Versus The Bottle In The Battle For Daddy's Soul.
I Spent My Last 10 Dollars On Birth Control And Beer.
You're The Reason God Made Oklahoma.

― mike t-diva (mike t-diva), Friday, 6 August 2004 09:12 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'm Keeping Your Poop (In A Jar By The Bed)"

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Friday, 6 August 2004 09:30 (twenty-one years ago)

"You're All Too Ugly Tonight"

― Huck, Friday, 6 August 2004 14:16 (twenty-one years ago)

"You're The Reason Our Kids Are Ugly"
"My Mind's Got A Mind of Its Own"
"Just A Redneck In A Rock 'n Roll Bar"

― mike a, Friday, 6 August 2004 14:36 (twenty-one years ago)

i like the less epigrammatic ones like:

Outskirts of You
Cocktail Desperado

but a pretty comprehensive list is here:

http://www.petelevin.com/countrytitles_abcdef.htm#A

― mig (mig), Friday, 6 August 2004 19:05 (twenty-one years ago)

one year passes...

Some titles from the upcoming album "Are You Man Enough To Be My Woman?" by Texmachine:
"I Love You From The Bottom Of My Bottle"
"Elbowdeep Into Texas"
"Man Enough To Be My Woman"
"Benzedrine, Caffeine, Nicotine and Evelyne"

― Arve Hjalmar, Monday, 17 April 2006 17:43 (nineteen years ago)

A bit out-of-season, maybe, but still "Grandma Got Ran Over By a Reindeer" is classic.

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Monday, 17 April 2006 21:08 (nineteen years ago)

The one I would've said is on that list.

"The Whisky Aint' Workin"

― xgurggleglgllg (xgurggleglgllg), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 02:44 (nineteen years ago)

Two more not previously mentioned:

Drop Kick Me Jesus (through the goalposts of life); and,

I'd Rather Have a Bottle in Front of Me than a Frontal Lobotomy; oh, yeah and...

(I got my Red Neck, My White Socks, and my) Blue Ribbon Beer; and lest I forget,

How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away.

One more:

Thank God, The Greyhound, She's Gone

― J Arthur Rank (Quin Tillian), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 15:05 (nineteen years ago)

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