What are the most absurd deathmetal and blackmetal songs?

Also, don't forget that there are deathmetal and blackmetal bands who are a little more serious about their music, who make music that's closer to hardcore, and aren't quite as amusingly absurd.

03 "She Came Out In Chunks" - Broken Hope
04 "Skin Peeler" - Mortician

japanese band notable for one of the most ridiculous vocalists in the world - hamster in a blender action. plus ridiculously fast black/death metal hybrid music.

07. havohej - man and jinn

this is a 4-song ep but basically functions as one 8-minute song. bizarre and ominous rumbling noise, cave fidelity recording, weird interludes of chimes, wretched vocals. like the earlier "black perversion," this might well have been recorded using only a sampler, it's impossible to hear any actual guitar sounds.

08. rehtaf ruo "child sacrifice"

absolutely fucked sub-beherit black metal noise. amazingly murky recording, didn't have a real drummer so he recorded drum parts and looped them in cooledit. frantic, creepy childlike screeching interlude.

pretty much anything by cannibal corpse i'd say.

http://www.systemcorrupt.com/rank/ranksinatra.html

I can feel the abhorrence people show for me
Because I am an expectorating blasphemy
And I know that my look offends their staring eyes
So I run because they will treat me otherwise
Digging in the trashcan for my food all day
I don't give a fuck what all those people say
My parents have rejected me like a rat
That's the reason wherefore I hate mom and dad
Night has come, time is right for my disgusting plan
I climb to the window of my parents' sleeping room
With a chain I confine their bodies to the bed
I am sure this is the funniest night I ever had
For my dad I have an unbelievable surprise
I just stab mother's nail-file into daddy's eyes
Draw it out, tear his eyeballs out of their smashed holes
Digging with my fingers in his fester-squiring sores
Screaming he is lying in a pool of blood
But I'm only laughing while I start to cut
Well readable letters in his sweating skin
Repudiating the own son is a sin
A dream came true, too long I had to wait for my revenge
Out of fear he shits into his pants - Hell what a stench!
It is time telling daddy now the last goodbye
Then I ram the file into his heart, because he must die
Watch my mom - All I see is an infected slut
With my boots I fucking kick her motherfucking butt
Slowly I dissect her torso with my fingernails
Gluttonous I start to eat her flesh and her entrails
My head is in her abdominal cavity
I'm on my way to mother's cunt and suddenly
I reach the hole and my mother's uterus is torn
Then I hasty gasp for breath - I'm reborn!
Troublesome my body's creeping through the bleeding gash
Inside out my skin is covered with organic mash
What a treat, life goes on for me - Now I'm free
Killing is the only pleasure for a freak like me

I'm a man, I'm a very sick man
I got one aim this is kill and kill again
I was born with pain and pain I give back
All I do with people is mangle, scalp and hack
I kill as many I can
I got no friends but you can call me slam
I torture and make them bleed
Strangulation, mutilation is my creed
I strangle them with a rope
but first I prefer to smoke a lot of dope

-- the music mole (colinsbarrowREMOV...), September 1st, 2004.

otm!

Fuck, I have so much I'm tempted to mention. And I LIKE death metal and black metal, mind. Hrmm, well, I'll try to think of something hilarious musically, but for now, let's have a lyrics-classic.

14: Terror Squad - Discö Bloody Discö (transcribed by me from the booklet, which is in all-caps. Exclamations etc are their own though)

Fuckin' poserz are dancin' in out sight
No frillz!! Gonna fight tonite!!
If ya' wanna dance, say ya' prayer
you'll feel our edge of razor
D.I.S.C.O.B.L.O.O.D.Y.D.I.S.C.O.!!!
We are the experts of budo
Bang ya' head. No chance to say no!
Draw pentagram on the floor!!!
All you dancerz are ritual sacrifice
Good-bye to ya' life. Sa ya' prayer
We scream our slogan, "Fuck the disco!!!"
We're iron hordes
We're possessed of beerz'n'rock'n'roll!!
We're ya' last dance partnerz. Shall we?

Set the wild fire!
Burn down the disco!!! Poserz' grave
We beat the beatz of unholy rock'n'roll!
Metal night fever!
Don't shake ya' hip, just bang ya' head!
Draw the 666!
On head of poserz! Yyyeeeaaahhh!!!

Bleedin'! Screamin'! We spit on poser'z face!
Bloody party! Last dance to death
Wear the leather! Girlz! Put on leopard skirt!
Die hard metal!!
Burning!! Burning!!

We are poservampire, pleasure is blood of foe
Hear our scream from black soul
Bloody unholy rrrooaaarrr!!!
Burn the picture of Travolta!!
All disco in this world will end by this final war
All wimpy dancerz! Feel the firrreeeggghh!!!!

(solo: murder machine)

Attack the D.J. booth oh yeah!! Burn the recordz of Bee-Geez
Play the Venom recordz "Welcome to hell"!
Sodom! Satan! Angel Witch!!!
"Pure Filth"! Mighty Warfare!! VoiVod! "Thrashing Rage"!
Hellhammer! Celtic Frost! Kreator!
All War! Zoetrope "Kill the Enemy"!!!
Don't forget Artillery!! Don't ya' know?! Go fuck ya'self!
"Beastial Invasion" of Destruction! Sabbat! "Black Fire"! Terror Squad!
Bulldozer! Dark Angel! Exciter! Luli! "Got Killed"!
Play the Raven! "Rock Until You Drop"!!
Carnivore! Whiplash! "Power & Pain"!
Sacrifice! Possessed! Bathory! Nasty Savage! "No Simpathy"!!
Yeah!! "Evil Invaderz"! Razor!
Cheek time dance with Countess Bathory!!!

[Solo: Waltz For Nemesis]

WWWOOORRRGGGHHH!!!
Disco Bloody Disco!!!
You're victim of razor!!
Dance ya' last dance and say bye to ya' youth. And pray!
Adios! Adieu!! Poserz! We squeeze outa tearz oh yeah!!

Dancerz! Her comes the night of tragedy!!
Just only danced. But under the guillotine!
Sons of Satan! We're possessed beast
Death leather army! We're eternal heresy!
Deeds of iron command to you. Bang ya' head
If ya' don't obey our rule. Ya' must die in this inferno!!!
Total holocaust in the discotheque!

Set the wild fire!!
Burn down the disco!! Poserz' grave
We beat the beatz of unholy rock'n'roll!
Metal night ranger!!
Don't shake ya' hip. Just bang ya head!
Draw the 666!
On head of poserz YYYEEEAAAHHH!!!!

--
Honorable mention to Czech black metaler Stiny Plamenu, whose albums supposedly are about some concept of a great overlord of the sewers. They're in Czech though, so euh, yeah.
Second honorable mention to whoever it was that had the lyrics "Satan sitting on his throne so fucking grim!" (I own the CD, so it's lame that I don't remember it)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DD7bCRG3CG0

im not sure if this is either blackmetal or deathmetal..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26GxhHAxDKQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZ2AOKOimLk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_T2DNUgB_0