Jeremy the Juggalo Strikes Again! A new peice of blasphemy which MUST be put down like the rabid dog it is...

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Well, Jeremy the Juggalo (whose mere existence is the reasonthis thread was started) has dropped two completely new bombshells.
Both assertions are so utterly psychotic that only the combined force of The ILM Hivemind can possibly hope to quash them.
Again, I want to make it clear that I do not endorse either of the following assertions. I don't write the bad news, I merely report it.
Anyhow... here's it goes.

1) "Blackie Lawless has (one of) the greatest voice(s) in rock and roll."
2) "WASP is better than Guns and Roses. Because Axl Rose is a cockwashing douchecork."

When you're done laughing, I'll continue.

Okay, moving right along...
After that he went into a long rant about how great Blackie Lawless's flaming codpiece was. Also, later on, he asserted that "Every Rose Has It's Thorn" is a great song....

Wait.
I can't go on.
I'll leave the rest to your imagination.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Friday, 8 October 2004 10:45 (twenty-one years ago)

who in their right mind takes the opinions of someone called Jeremy The Juggalo this seriously?

― Freelance Clownhata (blueski), Friday, 8 October 2004 10:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Because Axl Rose is a cockwashing douchecork.
The sentiment is spot-on, though a cockwashing douchecork is very hard to picture.

― dave225 (Dave225), Friday, 8 October 2004 10:50 (twenty-one years ago)

who in their right mind takes the opinions of someone called Jeremy The Juggalo this seriously?
Thats the nickname I applied to him. And I only pay attention to his rantings the way you would pay attention to the carnage of two trains crashing into each other. You want to look away, but you just cant.
Besides, he randomly thinks up great insults. See below for details.

The sentiment is spot-on, though a cockwashing douchecork is very hard to picture.
I suspect the douchecork only washes cocks as a sideline.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Friday, 8 October 2004 11:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Anyhow...
Don't tell me that there are ILM members who actually think that either of those assertions are within 1000 light years of being true.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Friday, 8 October 2004 14:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Exactly how are these 'bombshells'?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 8 October 2004 14:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, hardly earth-shattering stuff here.

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Friday, 8 October 2004 14:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I concur like a beast.

FLAMING codpiece???

― briania (briania), Friday, 8 October 2004 14:27 (twenty-one years ago)

WASP is better than Guns 'n' Roses. WASP had three good albums in their heyday (the debut, The Last Command and The Headless Children) to Guns 'n' Roses' one. And they recently released two new CDs, The Neon God, vols. 1 and 2, which are way better than anybody had any right to expect.

― pdf (Phil Freeman), Friday, 8 October 2004 15:29 (twenty-one years ago)

WASP had three good albums in their heyday (the debut, The Last Command and The Headless Children) to Guns 'n' Roses' one

No. GnR is pretty solid really. Appetite is obviously classic. GnR Lies is really a great little oddzsods thing....the live side is great and so is the acoustic side.....You can make one really really great album out of the whole Use Yr Illusion double mess, and the Spaghetti Incident is one of the few covers records I actually find compelling and not just a stop gap curiousity....

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Friday, 8 October 2004 15:32 (twenty-one years ago)

>he asserted that "Every Rose Has It's Thorn" is a great song....<

It is!

― chuck, Friday, 8 October 2004 16:11 (twenty-one years ago)

WASP always irritated me to some degree.

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Friday, 8 October 2004 16:17 (twenty-one years ago)

agreeing with chuck on that one.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Friday, 8 October 2004 19:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Hmm, I wonder if there's any connection between the use of the term "cockwasher" to describe Axl Rose, and the revelation in the Motley Crue book that band members would stick their cocks inside burritos to eliminate the lingering scent of foreign vaginas, lest their girlfriends conduct sudden inspections.

― Taxi Dancing in the Soft Prison (Ben Boyer), Friday, 8 October 2004 19:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Every Rose has its Thorn was put to great use when Bill and Ted sang it to the reaper in Bogus Journey.

― David Allen (David Allen), Friday, 8 October 2004 20:26 (twenty-one years ago)

??!?!? JESUS FUCK!

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Friday, 8 October 2004 23:05 (twenty-one years ago)

(You pronounce that as HAY-zoos, presumably.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 8 October 2004 23:05 (twenty-one years ago)

sure!

man I've gotta finally read that The Dirt book by Motley Crue....

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Friday, 8 October 2004 23:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I think the movie will say more, somehow.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 8 October 2004 23:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, He1geson, drop whatever you're reading right now and RUN to the bookstorefor "The Dirt"... there's plenty of doozies like the aforementioned "Burrito" anecdote...

― Taxi Dancing in the Soft Prison (Ben Boyer), Friday, 8 October 2004 23:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Exactly how are these 'bombshells'?
Because it exploded in my mindscape and caused horrendous psychic damage.
As someone who is still sane, the equation goes like this:
GNR > (Motley Crue|Poison) > WASP

I can't think of a single way in which WASP > GNR. Even GNR's bad points end up being part of their charm. WASP has the flaming codpiece and a steaming pile of dubious hits.

Also: "Every Rose has it's Thorn" is soppy drivel. If I want ballads, I'll turn to Joni Mitchell or Cat "No-Fly" Stevens, thankyewverymuch.
C'mon, let's not hold "Every Rose has it's Thorn" up as some paragon of virtue, just to be contrarian. Even "Wanted Dead or Alive" is a better song, and "Wanted Dead or Alive" is a spoogestain on the spandex tights of rock.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Saturday, 9 October 2004 01:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Here's a new one for y'all:
Jeremy's dream is to become... wait for it ...a musician.
Which boggles my mind, considering everything (with the exception of Slipknot, old Mettalica, ICP and Poison) "sucks huge mouthfuls of dirty Zima" as far as he's concerned.
But...isn't one of the hallmarks of a good musician is "Omnivorous Appetite?"
Whua!?

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Monday, 11 October 2004 18:25 (twenty-one years ago)

"Every Rose Has It's Thorn" has a major soft spot in my heart BECAUSE when I was a junior in high school they let this poor retarded girl from the special ed class cue up the instrumental, get up on stage and sing it for our school talent show. Half the audience was all like "oh, she's so brave" and the other half was fighting desperately to quell the giggles. Honestly, you can't imagine:

"eeeeeeeeEEEEEvwy wose had iss thone. eeeeeEEEEEEvwy naaii had iss dawn.
juslahk eeeeeeEEEEvwy cowboy. Singa sad.... sad... sawwwwwng.
Eeeevwy wose had iss thone,yesiduz."

There were people holding up lighters.

Myself, I sang "Smells Like Teen Spirit" with a six piece rock band and wacked myself on the head with the mic stand hard enough to raise a welt, so who's to judge?

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Monday, 11 October 2004 18:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Did I mention that she only seemed to know the words (more or less) to the chorus and sorta mumbled through the rest of the song?
This is one of my most treasured memories.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Monday, 11 October 2004 18:38 (twenty-one years ago)

What is it about burritos, specifically, that works so well for this task?

Green chili or red? Chicken or beef? (Ahem.)

― Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Monday, 11 October 2004 18:52 (twenty-one years ago)

not that i disagree w/ custos (quite the opposite, actually), but it would be great if jeremy juggalo could pop in here to defend himself and his (rather odd) views. if so, we may have an interesting new ILXor to contend with (we could use some new blood).

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 02:36 (twenty-one years ago)

and i am sure that i am NOT the ONLY ONE who would love to witness a jeremy v. miccio smackdown!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 02:38 (twenty-one years ago)

"Oh, God, they would annihilate each other in a burst of Purple Gamma Rays!"

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 18:16 (twenty-one years ago)

but it would be great if jeremy juggalo could pop in here to defend himself and his (rather odd) views. if so, we may have an interesting new ILXor to contend with (we could use some new blood).

Okay.
I've officially alerted him to the existence of the ilXor forum.
I also gave him four rules:

1) Post no more than two threads per day.
2) "Influence" Does Not Exist. Don't question it. Just accept it as fact as move on to the next boondoggle.
3) Lurk for awhile before you post. Especially lurk in the Calum threads. Learn what Calum does wrong. Now, anytime you post ask yourself "Does this sound like something Calum would say?"; If the answer is yes, don't hit 'Submit'... rewrite your post.
4) There's a guy from Norway named Geir Hongro. He cannot be reached with logic. Don't debate him. You're just wasting bandwidth if you do.

So...
What ILM rules have I forgotten to mention?

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 14 October 2004 16:23 (twenty-one years ago)

thanks so much custos.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 14 October 2004 16:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Um...your welcome?

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 14 October 2004 18:26 (twenty-one years ago)

slocki...
I am confused.
are you thanking me for:
a) Dragging this guy into the forum?
b) warning him what not to do first?
c) um, some other reason?

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, 14 October 2004 18:32 (twenty-one years ago)

A new puzzle to ponder:

He Hates Disco.
He Hates Industrial.
But he LOVES Techno.

Whua!?
I mean, isn't Techno just a continuation of Disco based on tricks learned from Industrial?

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 10:47 (twenty-one years ago)

one year passes...

cockwashing douchecork.

Outstanding.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 14 November 2005 15:57 (twenty years ago)

ts - showering and using deodorant vs. fucking a burrito

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Monday, 14 November 2005 18:02 (twenty years ago)

back with another of those cockwashing beats

― Morley Timmons (Donna Brown), Monday, 14 November 2005 18:46 (twenty years ago)

This thread is a treasure.

― Dan (Amazing) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 14 November 2005 22:43 (twenty years ago)

ts - showering and using deodorant vs. fucking a burrito
Depends on how "desperate" you are for hot mexican-food lovin.
Besides, you'd still have to shower after fucking a burrito. Y'know to clean the melted cheese and bean skunge off your nether-regeions.

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Monday, 14 November 2005 23:39 (twenty years ago)

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