Taking Sides: Kenny Rogers vs. Michael Bolton

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Both started out doing music different than what they ended up doing.
Both are famous for their appearances (Kenny's beard, Michael's hair).
Both deserve all the criticism they receive.

― Johnny Fever (johnny fever), Sunday, 10 October 2004 07:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I say Kenny, because he's got "The Gambler." Michael Bolton has nada.

― Johnny Fever (johnny fever), Sunday, 10 October 2004 07:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm with Kenny. Kenny is legion.

― max davenport (axehead), Sunday, 10 October 2004 07:10 (twenty-one years ago)

and kenny looks like grizzly adams.
i mean, come on, michael bolton with a grizzly bear ?

oh, actually. . .

― frenchbloke (frenchbloke), Sunday, 10 October 2004 07:16 (twenty-one years ago)

The tiebreaker is right here:

http://www.nathansfamous.com/rogers/template/images/logo2.gif

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Sunday, 10 October 2004 07:24 (twenty-one years ago)

bull mutha fuckin shit - michael bolton nevah did i just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in
you no playah sah, you no even apiss rate 3rd grade gambler wannabe
go poo in your sox

― QUeen Geeconstruction, Sunday, 10 October 2004 07:40 (twenty-one years ago)

QUeen Geeconstruction otm

― gaz (gaz), Sunday, 10 October 2004 08:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Anyone who doesn't respect Kenny Rogers doesn't deserve to live.

― My name is Kenny (My name is Kenny), Sunday, 10 October 2004 08:22 (twenty-one years ago)

i liked michael bolton's guest appearance on the nanny.

― Germany's Fun-Loving Beer (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 10 October 2004 09:40 (twenty-one years ago)

bull mutha fuckin shit - michael bolton nevah did i just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in
you no playah sah, you no even apiss rate 3rd grade gambler wannabe
go poo in your sox

-- QUeen Geeconstruction (fusiduisu...), October 10th, 2004.

roger that.

― j.m. lockery (j.m. lockery), Sunday, 10 October 2004 12:26 (twenty-one years ago)

this is kenny rogers by a hundred miles. the man did "what condition my condition was in"!

― kyle (akmonday), Sunday, 10 October 2004 13:36 (twenty-one years ago)

"Darkness washed over The Dude. Darker than a black steer's tucus on a moonless prairie night. There was NO BOTOM."

Wrrriiiaaaooogghhh unng wrroogghheeoougheeoughEEE YEAH!! YEAH!! OH YEAH!! WHAT CONDITION MY CONDITION WAS IN!!!!

Best song-in-movie bit EVAH!!

― Mr. Snrub, Sunday, 10 October 2004 14:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I mean "bottom."

But honestly, what the fuck has Michael Bolton ever done?? Except the When a Man Loves a Woman spoof on In Living Color.

― Mr. Snrub, Sunday, 10 October 2004 14:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Kenny Rogers has a very pleasant singing voice. Michael Bolton sounds like a pig being castrated with a rusty steak knife.
Kenny wins, obv.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Sunday, 10 October 2004 14:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Kenny Rogers - Singer of "Just Dropped In" and "The Gambler", collaborator with Dolly Parton, brother of 13th Floor Elevators producer and possessor of a darn fine beard. WINNAH.

Michael Bolton is beneath contempt. One of these days he'll blow out a lung FOR REAL and I'll be happy.

― Myonga Von Bontee (Myonga Von Bontee), Sunday, 10 October 2004 15:43 (twenty-one years ago)

well kenny rogers doesn't inspire any negative feelings in me or the urge to slap him, so i'd say "The Gambler" wins.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Sunday, 10 October 2004 17:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Kenny Rogers, and this isn't really any competition at all. I mean, the man has "The Gambler", "Lucille" and "Coward Of The Country", all of which have a certain charm to them.

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Sunday, 10 October 2004 17:06 (twenty-one years ago)

i agree with geir!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 11 October 2004 01:59 (twenty-one years ago)

ah, how quickly we forget the Onion article:

"New Roommate Has Elaborate Theory About How Kenny Rogers Is A Genius".

"That's when Kurt told me that Kenny Rogers straddles—-actually, the exact phrase was effortlessly straddles-—the line between contemporary pop and classic country, yet everyone unfairly dismisses him as a lightweight because he has strong appeal with the easy-listening crowd."...Schaier [said that] Rogers "transcends the country label," asserting that he is "not so much a country singer as a spiritual descendant of the master songsmiths of Tin Pan Alley and The Brill Building."
While Haltigan and Maritz have nothing against Rogers, they told Schaier they do not consider him to be in the same league as such country legends as Johnny Cash, Merle Haggard, and Willie Nelson.

In his efforts to demonstrate the breadth and depth of Rogers' music, Schaier cited a partial list of the artists with whom he has worked...."At one point, Kurt practically followed me into the bathroom," Maritz said. "I'm trying take a piss, and he's outside the door saying, 'Dolly Parton, Coolio...Sheena Easton, Ray Parker Jr., Olivia Newton-John...Madonna...The Charlie Daniels Band.'"

― john lewis (johnnylewis), Saturday, 16 October 2004 09:22 (twenty-one years ago)

three weeks pass...

Slight revive!

My namesake Kenny Rogers for the reasons given above and for his 70s proto-infomercial in which he said "Many of you have shelled out lots of money for guitars only to find out how expensive it is to learn to play them. That's why I created the Quick-pickin' [picks guitar] Fun-strummin' [strums guitar] Home Guitar Course."

Michael Bolton figures most excellently in the punchline of Richard Thompson's musthear web-only putdown of that other Kenny, the anti-Kenny, Kenny G, entitled "I Agree With Pat Metheny."

― Ken L (Ken L), Friday, 12 November 2004 02:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I love Kenny Rogers' music and voice.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Friday, 12 November 2004 02:22 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread has gone exactly as God intended it should.

― jim wentworth (wench), Friday, 12 November 2004 03:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Perhaps. But I still hope he answers my prayers and somebody responds who actually bought the Kenny Rogers guitar course, preferably somebody who actually learned to play and went to on to greater guitar glory.

― Ken L (Ken L), Friday, 12 November 2004 03:58 (twenty-one years ago)

kenny rogers easy

― cinniblount (James Blount), Friday, 12 November 2004 04:09 (twenty-one years ago)

The title of this thread has thrown me into fits of laughter. I'll choose Kenny Rogers of course, but really if it has to go as far as f***ing Kenny Rogers vs. Michael Bolton, surely we are in a dark hallway of the music world where a voice will soon boom ominously "TURN BACK!!!"

― Bimble (bimble), Friday, 12 November 2004 04:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Kenny Rogers' brother Leland ran the International Artists label, home of the 13th Floor Elevators, Red Krayola, etc.

"Kenny Rogers" also would not have been as funny a name to drop in _Office Space_.

― mike a, Friday, 12 November 2004 15:10 (twenty-one years ago)

ten years pass...

The fuck asks this

― MONKEY had been BUMMED by the GHOST of the late prancing paedophile (darraghmac), Wednesday, 4 November 2015 10:44 (ten years ago)

jf man come on

― MONKEY had been BUMMED by the GHOST of the late prancing paedophile (darraghmac), Wednesday, 4 November 2015 10:44 (ten years ago)

yeah this is heinous

― doing my Objectives, handling some intense stuff (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 4 November 2015 11:23 (ten years ago)

This thread has gone exactly as God intended it should.

― jim wentworth (wench

― Οὖτις, Wednesday, 4 November 2015 16:54 (ten years ago)

otm

― Οὖτις, Wednesday, 4 November 2015 16:54 (ten years ago)

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