Wake up a false peace is coming!

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Are you ready to be judged? It is appointed for man once to die then judgement? Think about it:The pope is joining all the false religions together, and all who follow him and this antichrist prayer shall suffer the wrath of God (Revelations 17) In January he will be asking Satan to bring peace to Israel, peace and safety then sudden destruction, watch and see! In Jesus name may God open your eyes in your minds to understand truth! All will be forced great and small to receive the mark of the beast whose name aren't in the lambs book of life. Our sins separate us from God; unless a man is born again he cannot enter into the kingdom of God! If you don't read the Bible, then what is your sin? Jesus is the only way! No religion can cleanse us from our sins, , Jesus the only way to be cleansed of our sins to be mde white as snow! All Muslims, Budahist, Catholics, Jews, whatever you want to call yourself have sinned and fall short of the glory of God! Read the Bible!

― Jesus is freedom from bondage, Wednesday, 19 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Wait, wait, which album was that from again? The lyrics sound awfully familiar.

― Sean Carruthers, Wednesday, 19 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Have we had a Christian Death Metal thread yet?

― electric sound of jim, Wednesday, 19 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

praise Satan. Hail our Father below

― satan makes free, Wednesday, 19 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

im pretty sure that christ would be pissed at this level of self righteousness.

― anthony, Wednesday, 19 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Especially if he read Johnno's comments on the Simon Reynolds thread.

― Nicole, Wednesday, 19 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Jesus is just alright with me... It's weird that he mentions Catholics as lost sinners as well. I thought they were quite fond of Christ, at least aesthetically.

― Andy, Wednesday, 19 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

We should have more book recommendation threads like this one.

― Nitsuh, Thursday, 20 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

This seems like another good time to point out that Kris Kristoferson had an album called "Jesus Was A Capricorn."

― Mark, Thursday, 20 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

On the Christian Death Metal tip, this born again coworker of mine keeps bringing me Living Sacrifice CDs... it looks just like a regular death metal CD, down to the black and white chiaroscuro photos of Jesus w/ crown of thorns and whatnot looking very unhappy, 'til you realize the lyrics are not as... er... critical of Mr. Christ as you'd expect. Then you take out the lyric sheet and it turns out you've been rocking out for God. I felt tricked. To be fair, Living Sacrifice rock pretty hard, and most Christian metal is less asinine than, say, Christian ska or Christian glam-punk (which does indeed exist).

― adam, Thursday, 20 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

christian ska makes me poop.

― chaki, Thursday, 20 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Now take the piss out of this and be a hypocrite, why don't you?

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 20 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Forgive us father, for we're fucked up & know not what we do. Society made me this way. Punish them, not me!

So which pages in this "Bible" are we supposed to read? It seems as if only some of them are important.

― Dave225, Thursday, 20 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Well, there was something in the LA Times about the recent availability of microchip epidermal implants that can be used to target your location via satellite. This is supposedly somehow protection from terrorism. The mark of the beast? I suppose if the li'l chip has 666 anywhere in it's name, I'll convert to Christianity post haste.

― Nude Spock, Thursday, 20 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i think christianity is just as worthy/unworthy of criticism or amusement as The Strokes, DMX Krew, crisps, bras, Jay-Z, hair products or whatever else. to be honest Marcello, i had hoped that the piss taking would come from yourself, following on from your excellent spiritualized deconstruction

― gareth, Thursday, 20 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Is this a promo for the new Spritualized album?

― Gage-o, Thursday, 20 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I was referring to the "leave-poor-Gale-alone" hypocrites posting on the equivalent ILE thread. Happy to take the piss here but equally happy to stand by what is essentially the same thing on another board provided it's by someone they know, thereby apparently making it more valid.

As it happens I should have left poor Gale alone, really, but if you're going to defend something on one thread you should also be prepared to defend it on another one. Or attack ditto ditto.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 20 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

gale was suggesting we help people less fortunate, she wasn't attacking other religions. all the threads that mention 'god' (and the persons who happen to be religious) are not the same, marcello. i'll gladly 'take the piss' to someone saying that muslims, buddhists, catholics, and jews 'fall short of the glory of god' but shouting 'YOU KNOW FUCK ALL. YOUR GOD IS USELESS AND POINTLESS.' at a a very kind woman who suggested we help those in need is not only inappropiate but cruel.

― ethan, Thursday, 20 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Kris Kristoferson

Is that of Fireside fame?

― Brock K., Thursday, 20 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

HEY POOR--YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE POOOOOR ANYMORE! JESUS IS HERE!"

― Clarke B., Friday, 21 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

'Jesus was way cool. Everybody liked Jesus. Everybody wanted to hang out with him. He turned water into wine, and if he wanted to, he could turn wheat into marijuana, or sugar into cocaine, or vitamin pills into amphetamines. He walked on the water and swam on the land. He was really cool. He could have baked the most delicious cake in the world, he could have scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky. Jesus could have been funnier than any comedian you think of. Jesus was way cool. But then some people got jealous of how cool he was, so they killed him. But then he rose from the dead! He rose from the dead, danced around, and went up into heaven. I mean, that's so cool. No wonder there are so many Christians.'

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 21 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ned, you know it's SCARY how much that quote resembles some of the stuff these "Xianity is COOL" groups in the States say to get high- school kids to dig the Lawd. Ever heard of Young Life? "Whoa, dude-- I can play Dave Matthews covers, go rock climbing, and pull cute virgin-whore complex preppy chicks--all in the name of Jesus! God rocks!"

― Clarke B., Friday, 21 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That *is* frightening. Brr. Anyway, do you know where the quote is from? ;-)

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 21 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Uh... king missile?

― Nude Spock, Friday, 21 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

No, but somehow I feel like I should...

― Clarke B., Friday, 21 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sounds like South Park.

― nickn, Friday, 21 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Nude Spock wins the prize. And the name of the song is indeed "Jesus Was Way Cool."

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 21 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Believe it or not, I've never heard that song, though I dig king missile when I hear it. I just recognized the lack of lyricism and silly storytelling style. I was almost going to say Dead Milkmen, but it seemed too smart for them. :) BTW, if that is off "Mystical Shit", I'm going to buy it over vacation.

― Nude Spock, Friday, 21 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That is it indeed. Great album, actually. "Gary and Melissa," "Mystical Shit," a cover of the Buzzcocks' "Love You More"...

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 21 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Weren't King Missile the ones that did "Detachable Penis?" Friends, never release a novelty song until you're well-established as a band!

― nickn, Friday, 21 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Unless you're content to spend the rest of your career opening for Weird Al Yankovic, that is.

― nickn, Friday, 21 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

By the time they released that, it was their fifth album. "Established" need not mean "famous." ;-)

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 21 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Plus, *all* of their songs are novelty songs from what I've heard. My Heart Is A Flower, Sensitive Artist was a great tune, too. What about the song about Martin Scorsese? They put him on a level with Jesus in that song. My roommate used to play Mystical Shit, so perhaps that song about Jesus sunk into my subconcious. He used to play that and that wonderful out of print Johnathan Richman album with "Hey there, Little Insect" and "Abominable Snowman In The Market". Who sang "You'll Dance To Anything"?

― Nude Spock, Saturday, 22 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

If it wasn't for "novelty songs," Frank Zappa wouldn't have had any hits at all. And he was quite well-established when those "novelty songs" were released.

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Saturday, 22 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"You'll Dance to Anything" was the aforementioned Milkmen. Shall we all excoriate it for being, like, totally rockist?

One of the highlights of my concert-going career was seeing King Missile without having a very extensive familiarity with their catalog.

― Nitsuh, Saturday, 22 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.