K looked over the review pages and pointed out that there were at least half a dozen things there "you would have been given to do a year ago. What happened, Marcello? What went wrong?"
Then we noted that most of these reviews had been allotted to [reviewer X] or [reviewer Y] and all of a sudden the answer hit me. Of course - they've found other people to do the job, and cheaper people in every sense of the word.
"It's the kiss off, isn't it?" I said. "This is what happens when you don't lick arse or toe the IPC Media line. If I'd settled for being twentieth best, agreed to do a little PR puff piece or two, they would still be giving me things to do."
"Maybe they just find other writers easier to deal with," K replied. "They're probably scared to ask you to do anything in case you bite their heads off."
"Am I that bad?"
"All I'm saying is that the qualities which work as an NHS manager don't necessarily work if you're a freelance magazine writer. You can't just come in on the first day and act like you own King's Reach Tower. It's a bit like you're doing them a favour by condescending to write for them. You don't act like you need to be doing it."
"I don't deny that I needed the money when I started doing it two years ago."
"Yes but do you need to doing it at all now? That's not the impression you give. I don't know - maybe you're just better off out of it. I mean, forty years old and a junior scribbler; it's a bit undignified, isn't it? You should have started doing it when you were twenty, then you wouldn't be in this mess now."
This was all said in a friendly way, not in an admonitory way. But I have to face facts; my chances to make a career out of doing this have come and gone. Opportunities presented themselves and I comprehensively failed to take advantage of any of them. I refused to compromise, lacked the cut and thrust and the elan essential in dealing with artists and PR people, was too fussy about what I took on, and as a 100-word downpager reviewer totally failed to impress or convince anyone, least of all myself.
I tried it too often and, in terms of my current predicament, have been asking for it.
So I went to bed last night in an even more despondent mood than usual. It doesn't look like the book of CoM is going to come out now; I haven't heard from Verso for months and they have not returned my 'phone messages or email queries. The likelihood is that the top brass there have actually gotten around to reading the thing and decided that "he's not One Of Us" - CoM's accent being on the life of the individual mind rather than that of a community or a collective. In any case, even if it did appear next year, it would be three years out of date and move nobody. On Mark Radcliffe's show on Monday night he had that idiot Stewart Lee in ("yes Carlin, he's an 'idiot' who's got a show running in the West End and makes more money than you, hahah") and they were talking about how sad it was that the Carpenters hadn't been critically rehabilitated. Huh? Didn't any of them read what I wrote about them two years ago, both in Uncut and on the blog - didn't they care enough even to find it on Google? Sometimes I am convinced that the "industry" acts and behaves exactly like a dinosaur - lumbering, outsized, slow-moving and slow-witted. But then I suppose that's the price one has to pay for being an individual in this inglorious age of "collectivism." O, what's the use?
I woke up this morning feeling utterly suicidal. The ideations have now gone beyond the point of pain, grief or despair; now the driving force is one of tiredness more than anything else. How far down do you have to sink before you consider yourself too tired, weary and exhausted to carry on living; just pining for endless rest and peace? I can't remember a time when I last felt genuinely happy, or even contented, with life; it's all been a struggle, there's never been room to breathe. Longing to be out of it all for good.
― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 10 November 2004 08:59 (twenty-one years ago)
― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 09:13 (twenty-one years ago)
― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 10 November 2004 09:17 (twenty-one years ago)
― stew s, Wednesday, 10 November 2004 11:04 (twenty-one years ago)
(sadly I don't actually wonder - I know how these polls work/are worked; if there's a sponsored tour/30-page cover feature at stake, then, to quote Stonebridge, put 'em high)
― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 10 November 2004 11:07 (twenty-one years ago)
― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 10 November 2004 11:09 (twenty-one years ago)
― stevie (stevie), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 11:15 (twenty-one years ago)
I'm glad of course that I held on to the day job, as it seems to be the only sphere of activity in which I'm actually doing some good.
― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 10 November 2004 11:24 (twenty-one years ago)
I don't know yr relationship with whoever doles out the work at Uncut these days, but if you want to keep writing for them you maybe need to try and figure out what they're looking for for short reviews- breadth, quick turnaround, toeing the Uncut line 100% etc etc, then see how you can best fit into that AND write something that's satisfying to you. Then pitch some ideas in that are more in line with what you believe in.
― Dr. C (Dr. C), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 12:04 (twenty-one years ago)
― titchyschneider (titchyschneider), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 12:11 (twenty-one years ago)
marcello, you know where i am, on the other side of the phone/email or whatever.
― jesus nathalie (nathalie), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 12:14 (twenty-one years ago)
As far as magazines go, I don't really fit in anywhere. The Wire has its own agenda to which I'm not privy, Uncut is going to continue going down its merry Bob Harris way...as far as Mojo is concerned there's no room at the inn for more reviewers, but for the life of me I cannot think of ideas for large features to pitch there or anywhere.
I should have just thrown in my lot with the rest of the Monitor crowd and gone to write for the MM in '86.
― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 10 November 2004 12:20 (twenty-one years ago)
As for the freelancer thing, I'm just getting started out after six months at a local paper and it ain't easy. I'm lucky that in Scotland you've got maybe got a smaller pool of writers to compete with, but at the same time, you've got fewer publications with spaces already filled. Realised I can't make any kind of living from it, so it's a case of getting a boring day job and back to uni for that Mlit I think. One tip I got as a freelancer was to cast my net widely and write for trade mags. You can become an expert on, I dunno, paper clips, and make a nice little earner from articles your music mag reading pals will never see. The List recently published a best Scottish bands ever booklet - but pitching reviews of new Scottish bands to them is proving hard. In fact, that's the case with much of the Scottish media. The Daily Record went for it (as well as Damo Suzuki!) but the powers that be wanted to save money on freelancers, so their live reviews page has been ditched for the time being. Oy vey.
― stew s, Wednesday, 10 November 2004 12:34 (twenty-one years ago)
Dunno what's up with Verso but I have to put in my review copies order from them and will ask where the fuck this amazing book went. Did you get a signing and delivery advance? Publication could still be awhile off - I know one friend who delivered and then there was tumbleweeds for two years which annoyed her, but is by no means unusual.
― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 12:37 (twenty-one years ago)
Perhaps it all comes down to my not actually having any ambition in this field. I'm not one of life's natural "pushers" and I hate doing interviews (try to avoid doing them wherever possible, in fact). Actually, as far as large features are concerned, I do have ideas, but the way the music monthlies are at the moment they're not ideas which would sell lots more copies, and therefore not ideas in which their editors would be interested.
I like doing thinkpieces, not interview-based pieces, but the market for those at the moment is zero.
As far as the broadsheets go, well...heheh, Petridish would love to have me at the Grauniad, not.
Guess I'm just not cut out for this business.
― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 10 November 2004 12:52 (twenty-one years ago)
― jon abbey, Wednesday, 10 November 2004 13:44 (twenty-one years ago)
― titchyschneider (titchyschneider), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 13:53 (twenty-one years ago)
1) i can now download stuff and hear it for myself, rather than having to read about it to try and decide (functional use: gone)
2) there are hundreds of fairly well-written blogs that i can freely access that provide someone's opinion/criticism/analysis without the constraint of fitting into an x-page article, which beats having to go out to buy something full of ads and things i'm paying for and don't necessarily want
3) there are hundreds of failry specialized messageboards and lists that allow me to interact freely with other fans and discuss music/artists/trends/ideas/theories/etc at length, thus providing an immediate feedback and participation experience that a written piece in a mag or paper could never provide
i'm not saying that's true for everyone, and clearly there is still worth in music criticism from an intellectual standpoint - but the practicality of it has certainly been lessened by the interweb
the only reason i offer this suggestion is that perhaps it's less to do with you and your writing than it is to do with the market/demand for writers in general these days, thus pushing the price down and (as mentioned above) trying to keep things simple and pandering, rather than investigative and probing
keep at it with the blog, though. my guess is that they'll (over time) replace paper nearly altogether
― rentboy (rentboy), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 14:04 (twenty-one years ago)
― Jonathan Z. (Joanthan Z.), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 14:05 (twenty-one years ago)
Yes, well Martin Davidson (Emanem), Evan Parker (psi), Eddie Prevost (Matchless), Karen Brookman (Incus) and Hazel Miller (Ogun/Cadillac) are all friends and/or colleagues of mine so I know full well how difficult it is selling improv CDs for a living - and also how difficult it is to pitch them to mainstream music mags. When it does work, it can have a significant effect; the Lunge, Limescale and People Band CDs in particular have been relatively high sellers and that can at least in part be traced to my championing of them in the pages of Uncut. But it gets harder to do this month by month as the constraints become tighter.
The one magazine I'm completely happy with at the moment is Time Out, but their freelance budgets, as fellow ILxor Mr Miller will confirm, are getting increasingly rare and sporadic. I was told that almost half of the full house for the AMM/MEV Freedom of the City gig was down to outsiders intrigued by my Time Out piece - so that's very satisfying. Wish it could happen all the time.
― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 10 November 2004 14:33 (twenty-one years ago)
― Dr. C (Dr. C), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 14:54 (twenty-one years ago)
― Marcello Carlin, Wednesday, 10 November 2004 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)
To dither not to review an album [e.g Pluramon] for X months - seems ridiculous.
I have already called Allan Jones a publishing dunce [on my blog] for featuring the best 2004 albums in this month's Uncut !
― DJ Martian (djmartian), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)
Damn straight! As a relative newbie to ILM, I am always blown away by Marcello's think-tank pieces and prose. In this age though, is the printed form the be-all, end-all? I have known freelancers who have had there veritable snouts in other troughs when the going gets tough.
Not content with doing 'occasional' reviews, they sometimes even do shadow stuff under aliases for competitiors. It can be a tough call though, you either compromise your principles to appease those above and keep the dream alive doing so, or take that chance and go it alone?
Whatever options, just keep it in mind that there's always gonna be someone out there (one day) wanting your scribblings depsite your animosity towards this profession.
Mate! I totally miffed my chance years ago when I was in my late-20s and building up a sizable profile covering many artist interviews/reviews for a mag here. I hashed it by paraphrasing one time and got told my services weren't wanted after establishing myself in a near semi-professional scribbler.
Since then, I haven't regained the confidence to get back into it and feel I've missed the boat now. I look back on the days whereby I could have foreseen myself even writing for Rolling Stone, for example. (A big call, I know, but something was guiding me somewhere back then!)
You've still got your integrity intact and opinons further to be espoused, so, as Curtis once said, "keep on pushing..".
― herbalizer12 (herbalizer12), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)
I think there's a lot of truth there -- keep in mind that my own sphere has turned out to be a corporate database that gives me free rein if a low rate of recompense, which is why it's handy for me as a side pursuit than a full time thing. But it's online, it's readily accessible and it ties in with so many other things that my opinions somehow seep out there in all sorts of ways that still surprise (and please) me, based on the random feedback I keep getting.
Increasingly I'm of the opinion as well that length of analysis is not necessarily the Holy Grail -- by which I mean you *can* be extremely eloquent and informative in a small space as much in a large one. (J. D. Considine is a classic example of this to the extreme.) That said, unless these 100 word efforts talked about here, I regularly go for 300 words in my album reviews, which gives me more flexibility overall, admittedly.
Not that any of this solves your situation, Marcello. Some perspective, though: I don't think I rate in any 'best of rock crit' sense, I suppose. I avoid a centerpiece blog (FT is another matter, but I've been distracted over the last couple of weeks and need to fire up again), my pitches and appearances are low-key enough, I am distinctly not a conscious theorist and neither am I a conscious stylist. In comparison you do have a strong and obvious cachet, sir, and it's noticed. It seems to me it would be wrong not to continue trying.
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 16:07 (twenty-one years ago)
― Dr. C (Dr. C), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 16:20 (twenty-one years ago)
― Dr. C (Dr. C), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 16:41 (twenty-one years ago)
U&K. it is easy to get demoralised in this business... don't forget the positive effects your writing can have. it can sustain you during partiduclarly frustrating periods.
― stevie (stevie), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 16:42 (twenty-one years ago)
all of this is a bit moot, of course, with you having to decided to leave the game, but something to consider. as for myself, now serving as a managing editor at a good-sized publication in nyc, i've definitely grown to appreciate those idea people -- those who come to me with pitches and not the other way around. should you decide to return to this world, just try not to think of it as kissing arse, think of it as simply selling yourself.
― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 16:52 (twenty-one years ago)
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 16:54 (twenty-one years ago)
― stevie (stevie), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 17:02 (twenty-one years ago)
Summary
Mick Mercer, ex Melody Maker writerhttp://www.livejournal.com/users/mickmercer/289307.html
Momushttp://www.livejournal.com/users/imomus/56044.html
Woebot http://www.dissensus.com/showthread.php?t=69&page=1&pp=10
this erosion of the "middleground" must be partly down to:
a) the collapse of jockey slut (if a bit flabby/cheesy theoretically, they often had good taste)
b) the situation at "fortress" wire (where for reasons best known to themselves we'll never see a junior boys article)
Marcello:
As far as magazines go, I don't really fit in anywhere. The Wire has its own agenda to which I'm not privy, Uncut is going to continue going down its merry Bob Harris way...as far as Mojo is concerned there's no room at the inn for more reviewers, but for the life of me I cannot think of ideas for large features to pitch there or anywhere
Sometimes I am convinced that the "industry" acts and behaves exactly like a dinosaur - lumbering, outsized, slow-moving and slow-witted.
― DJ Martian (djmartian), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 17:17 (twenty-one years ago)
― doomie x, Wednesday, 10 November 2004 19:11 (twenty-one years ago)
― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 21:08 (twenty-one years ago)
In all of the writers for OMM, I can see no tangible evidence of an actual love of music in any of them.
― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 11 November 2004 08:28 (twenty-one years ago)
― Jay Kid (Jay K), Thursday, 11 November 2004 10:21 (twenty-one years ago)
― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 11 November 2004 10:30 (twenty-one years ago)
― herbalizer12 (herbalizer12), Thursday, 11 November 2004 14:12 (twenty-one years ago)
[xpost]
― blackmail.is.my.life (blackmail.is.my.life), Thursday, 11 November 2004 14:32 (twenty-one years ago)
I'm not bothered about the book.
― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 11 November 2004 14:35 (twenty-one years ago)
What, even Morley and Mulholland?
― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Thursday, 11 November 2004 16:09 (twenty-one years ago)
― stew, Thursday, 11 November 2004 16:47 (twenty-one years ago)
― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 11 November 2004 16:51 (twenty-one years ago)
― don, Friday, 12 November 2004 01:12 (twenty-one years ago)
― Marcello Carlin, Friday, 12 November 2004 08:14 (twenty-one years ago)
― Captain Ahoy (Ian Christe), Friday, 12 November 2004 08:26 (twenty-one years ago)
― Marcello Carlin, Friday, 12 November 2004 08:34 (twenty-one years ago)
― don, Saturday, 13 November 2004 01:16 (twenty-one years ago)
― don, Saturday, 13 November 2004 02:11 (twenty-one years ago)
Marcello, Time Out is a great outlet, probably better than Ucunt. More readers in a position to be nice to you about your career. And please try to care about the book.
― suzy (suzy), Saturday, 13 November 2004 11:19 (twenty-one years ago)
Peter Robinson.
― Acme (acme), Thursday, 18 November 2004 01:14 (twenty-one years ago)