Unintentionally funny lines from Amazon.com user reviews.

"I am a recovering trip hop addict. Now I know better. Just because somethings slow and dark doesn't necessarily mean its brilliant"

"Only unintelligent, white-bred dummies who like George W. Bush listen to whacko music like this. Insead of listening to Toby Keith, try a Bjork or Iron Maiden CD"

Looking for a spooky tale to curl up to this Halloween season? Is there a glaring gap between your Stephen King and Anne Rice books on the shelf? Here's the perfect horror novel to plug it with!

A supernatural thriller to the core, the monster in this book will thrill and chill you! A demonic entity named Yahweh sets humanity up with the perfect trap: the Tree of Life. Knowing they'll eat the otherwise purposeless fruit, he slaps them with a generational curse that binds them to his malevolent will! What follows is the most twisted tale of evil ever written! Yahweh, egotistical and ragingly jealous, uses those under his control to rape and pillage cultures that don't worship him. Men, women and animals alike were slain in these bloodthirsty raids. The only hope you had was being a virgin woman whom Yahweh encourages to be conquested [Deuteronomy 21:10-13], [Deuteronomy 20:13-16].

If you have a hard time reading about cruel animal and human sacrifices, perverted sexual references and the murder and abuse of children I suggest not picking this up. This is a true tale of horror and our villian is far from tactful! However, Yahweh's not a transparent, homocidal manaic. To be so would be far too predictable and I commend the author on his skillful character development. What makes Yahweh so fiendish is that he commits his violent acts under the veneer of love! To fool humanity futher he sent down a hippy version of himself and later set that person up to die, quenching his bloodlust once again. But, that's not where the horror ends! I hate to give away the ending but it's far too devious to go unmentioned! In the end his cult followers will be sucked into an alternative dimension where they will toil and praise his ego to neverending extents. Those who choose not to accept his conditional, unconditional love will find themselves in a sadistic torture pit of his making.

What's really neat about this work of fiction is you don't even have to pay for it! There's many fan bases out there that will happily provide you with a copy!

Amazon.co.uk - Manic Street Preachers 'LifeBlood'

an 'impartial' review for R. Borlax - Horse the Band

Maybe that's incentive to finish my album...

"He is a good boy and DOES NOT SMOKE CIGARETTES despite what that picture shows on the front of the album!!!! His influences are his grandmother and Czech blastcore whatever that is :) and I hope you will buy this so he can afford to move the camero out of the back yard hahahahahaha! Just kidding! Really though it is a good album and minus the cusses it's very nice to listen to on the car back from the market or maybe while going to the post office."

Burzum, one of the defining black metal artists, came out around the same time as Nirvana.
Burzum was original. Burzum was 1 man. Burzum had talent.

Nirvana wasn't original, Nirvana was 3 people, Nirvana had no talent.

Nirvana= Pixies Rehash.
Nirvana= Pearl Jam/Soundgarden Wannabes

Both Burzum and Nirvana only lasted several years.

Burzum contributed to help music live on, Nirvana destroyed it.

Mark M gave it an 8:
Ok so I am the drummer's Dad, but the critics thought so too!

I'd cry if my dad only gave my album an 8!

Tough love, baby.

"You need to hear this album to truly understand Nintendocore"

Nah, actually I think I've got a pretty good idea.

"oh oh i hate the government"
"the military is bad"
bla bla bla
punk is untalented. punk is cliched and trendy.
listen to metal?
metal has talent? metal sings about death and destruction?
punk is for whiny untalented brats with studs and patches and stupid hair dos.
anyone can play simple 3 chord crap

long live heavy F*(&#$(*#&$ metal!!

5 out of 5 stars warrrpp, November 1, 2002
Reviewer: "rattty123" (Manila, Philippines)
inaccessable but worth it.

this is the funniest thing ive seen all day.

I also love the NTWICM! series because they make songs available that are otherwise very difficult to find. You won't usually hear the NTWICM! songs on radio play or find them in the iTunes Music Store. Nope, only on these exclusive type cds.

As much as I find it funny, to me this line is not as ridiculuos as it seems because NOW CD's often include UK chart hits that remain unreleased in America for a while.

True, but not everything is crap. Recently I found myself checking the latest NOW in a desperate attempt to get Rachel Stevens' "Negotiate with Love", unavalable in Canada

33 of 49 people found the following review helpful:

5 out of 5 stars File under "easy listening", October 16, 2000

Reviewer: Michael Vanier (Pasadena, CA) - See all my reviews

Metal Machine Music marked a significant departure for Lou Reed when it was first released in 1975. At the time, Lou was best known for the avant-garde rock of the Velvet Underground and a string of pop-rock albums in the early '70s. On this album, however, Lou shows his versatility by abandoning vocals and traditional song forms to give us a series of relaxing instrumentals in a variety of styles. Part 1 features a series of funky jazz stylings with a distinctive bossa-nova flavor. Part 2 is more bluesy (really blues-jazz) and has a somewhat darker feel to it. Part 3 is more upbeat and danceable, and harks back to early swing or even lounge music, if you can believe it. Part 4 ties the rest of the music together and brings in a classical element reminiscent of Debussy or Satie. The remastering is welcome, as some of the more subtle aspects of the music were lost in the previous CD version. All in all, this is a wonderful album for those rainy Sunday afternoons with your Special Someone. Start a big crackling fire in the fireplace, open up a bottle of fine wine and listen to Metal Machine Music while watching the embers glow - you'll be glad you did!

4 out of 5 stars Argh! Someone beat me to writing the first review!! Grr....., November 4, 2001

Reviewer: The Angry Mofo "angrymofo" - See all my reviews
OK, "Gift" is certainly quite the strange little dealie. If you listen to it, it seems like an utter joke - repetitive lyrics (especially since some of the songs are so LONG), repetitive beats, etc. Well, the story goes that Mr. Eldritch recorded this in a week to spite his former comrades Adams/Hussey. "Ah, OK," you say, "now it makes sense." Indeed, there is a very amateurish feel to Gift all throughout - this is due to the fact that it was created in such a short time. Well, that and Eldritch also wanted to thumb his nose at his record company ("two-five-zero-zero-zero" from the opening track refers to the fact that they paid him 25,000 pounds to record this joke).

And yet, when you get down to it, the album is really not that bad at all. The drum grooves, repetitive as they are, are certainly danceable, and to my surprise, I found some of the very evocative synth leads that characterized Eldritch's later work in tracks like "Rain From Heaven." It makes nice background music, and is really a fairly good listen. Well, and "Finland Red, Egypt White" gets some points for utter hilarity, as someone recites the AK-47 manual word-for-word.

In short, this is a necessity for Sisters fans - quite the collectors' item. For the rest of us, well, it's probably not all that special. However, Eldritch's vision and foresight must be commended - although few would think of Gift as a lost classic, it turned out to be one of the first albums (if not THE first album, period) to utilize the style that later came to be called "techno." Whodathunkit?