long album titles are stupid

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only teh canon has good titles?

(CNN) -- The title of the new U2 album is "How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb."

Now, you can't tell a book by its cover, the old saying goes, and that's usually true. By the same token, you can't tell an album by its title -- usually.

But "How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb"? It's clunky, overlong and doesn't quite say anything. (Yes, I know it was inspired by a riddle: Q. How do you dismantle an atomic bomb? A. Don't build one. That's no excuse.)

The best album titles somehow manage to capture the spirit of the artist and the work in a few words: "Bringing It All Back Home" by Bob Dylan, which heralded his turn to electric rock 'n' roll, and "Blood on the Tracks," about his divorce. "Rubber Soul" by the Beatles -- a nice pun and a classic record. "Exile on Main Street" by the Rolling Stones. "Murmur" by R.E.M.

Nick Lowe managed to come up with two great titles for the same record -- "Jesus of Cool," which was known as "Pure Pop for Now People" in the United States. Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention said it all with their 1968 opus, "We're Only In It for the Money." Along the same lines: "The Who Sell Out," which cleverly lives up to its title for its first two-thirds or so.

And I can't help but smile at "It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back" by Public Enemy, "One Nation Under a Groove" by Funkadelic, "Double Nickels on the Dime" by the Minutemen and "Ruin Jonny's Bar Mitzvah" by Me First and the Gimme Gimmes.

But bad album titles are like a stick in the eye.

Yes -- not the greatest of band names, either -- has albums called "Tales from Topographic Oceans" and "Tormato." Huh?

The Grateful Dead, no doubt inspired by a drug-fueled fondness for made-up palindromes, has an album called "Aoxomoxoa," which sounds like an intestinal tract parasite. (Ed. note: I've since been informed that "Aoxomoxoa," or "-oA," is not invented, but a term for the blissful state of mind reached by kite flyers. However, it still sounds like an intestinal tract parasite to me. I admit it: I just don't get the Dead, never have.)

Fiona Apple gave one of her albums a really long title usually abbreviated "When the Pawn ..." The whole thing reads like the doodle of a high school girl attempting to channel old Dylan liner notes. Not a good idea.

A friend of mine nominates a large portion of the Journey oeuvre: "Infinity," "Evolution," "Departure," "Captured" and "Escape" (all of which have dreadful album covers to match).

And that reminds me of the tedious list of Chicago LPs, starting with "Chicago II" and continuing ad infinitum up the number line. (In Mark Shipper's book "Paperback Writer," a character notes that the band's albums still go gold because people believe they should own the complete set, "like encyclopedia annuals.") When Chicago did give an album a real title, the band called it "Hot Streets," which is about as bland as it comes.

Genesis once called an album "Abacab," after a rhyme scheme. Of course, the band's drummer, Phil Collins, wrote a song called "Sussudio," which was a nonsense word from the dummy lyrics. Both are a long way down from "Selling England by the Pound."

And then there's Van Halen, which has given giggles to 10-year-olds everywhere with the titles "OU812" and "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge."

Well, the title will only take you so far -- and, often, a good album makes a title seem much better. (Would we still remember "Rubber Soul" if it had been done by Freddie and the Dreamers?)

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 19 November 2004 01:47 (twenty-one years ago)

about time someone made a funny about Fiona Apple's long album title, haw

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 19 November 2004 01:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Marc Bolan in the 60s says fuck you CNN.

― donut christ (donut), Friday, 19 November 2004 01:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Someone forward this to Fiona Apple.

― mottdeterre (mottdeterre), Friday, 19 November 2004 01:50 (twenty-one years ago)

The latest issue of Word lists "Rubber Soul" in its "worst album titles of all time" piece.
You somehow feel they've missed the point, don't you?

― Masked Gazza, Friday, 19 November 2004 01:51 (twenty-one years ago)

The Fiona Apple album is SO GOOD.

― My name is Kenny (My name is Kenny), Friday, 19 November 2004 01:52 (twenty-one years ago)

What! Rubber Soul being the worst titles of all time? Asshats.

― Ben LaMothe (paloalto45), Friday, 19 November 2004 01:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Who wrote that?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 19 November 2004 01:59 (twenty-one years ago)

"Todd Leopold"

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 19 November 2004 02:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Pure Pop for Now People is a great title???

― Magic City (ano ano), Friday, 19 November 2004 02:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Good Albums with Long Titles as opined by AlexinNYC

- Brighter Than a Thousand Suns by Killing Joke
- Get Off the Cross, We Need the Wood for the Fire by Firewater
- The Eight Legged Groove Machine by the Wonder Stuff
- Q:Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo! by Devo
- the Seventh Dream of Teenage Heaven by Love & Rockets

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 19 November 2004 02:05 (twenty-one years ago)

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drg200/g278/g27808wr7xh.jpg

Lalo Schifrin's The Dissection and Reconstruction of Music from the Past as Performed by the Inmates of Lalo Schifrin's Demented Ensemble as a Tribute to the Memory of the Marquis de Sade PWNS this thread

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Friday, 19 November 2004 02:10 (twenty-one years ago)

The Smoker You Get, The Player You Drink

― Joe Fucking Walsh, Friday, 19 November 2004 02:11 (twenty-one years ago)

The Album of the Soundtrack of the Trailer of the Film of Monty Python & the Holy Grail by Monty Python.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 19 November 2004 02:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Extended Revelation for the Psychic Weaklings of the Western Civilization

― Soundtrack of Our Lives, Friday, 19 November 2004 02:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't get the joke of 'OU812'...?

― derrick (derrick), Friday, 19 November 2004 02:30 (twenty-one years ago)

There was a great album title by Boston hardcore band, Gangreen....i81B4U

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 19 November 2004 02:34 (twenty-one years ago)

The all-time thread-owning-est bad long title: "Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog-Flavored Water"

― Hurting (Hurting), Friday, 19 November 2004 03:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't get the joke of 'OU812'...?
Don't feel bad, I never realized Rubber Soul was supposed to be a pun before now.

― Every country has their stupid (AaronHz), Friday, 19 November 2004 03:26 (twenty-one years ago)

"LIFTED OR THE STORY IS IN THE SOIL, KEEP YOUR EAR TO THE GROUND" - Bright Eyes
-----------------------
"He Has Left Us Alone but Shafts of Light Sometimes Grace the Corners of Our Rooms" - A Silver Mt. Zion

**the line is thin

― earinfections (Nick Twisp), Friday, 19 November 2004 05:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow, I never thought about the obvious pun in Rubber Soul either! Holy crap, best album title ever!! Seriously, it's got like three different interpretations...

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Friday, 19 November 2004 05:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe more than 3

1) Rubber Sole of a shoe

2) Rub her sole (the sole of her foot)

3) Rub her soul

4) Rub her (filet of) sole (with some herbs)

5) The actual joke of the title (rubber sole/soul)

6) A soul that rubs (things, people)

― Hurting (Hurting), Friday, 19 November 2004 05:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, I actually always split out your #5 into 2 though:

1) Rubber Soul -- like, you're so screwed up and whacked-out inside that you have a RUBBER SOUL. This was always my primary reading and reinforced, of course, by the legendary cover -- the wavy, warped photograph.

but then I got

2) Rubber Soul -- like, a fake, distanced white-boy take on African-American song-form: RUBBER SOUL

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Friday, 19 November 2004 05:22 (twenty-one years ago)

but, you know, rubber soul then revolver

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Friday, 19 November 2004 05:23 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost

It's #2.

I'd always heard that the idea behind Rubber Soul was that some Stax musician or singer or somebody said "Mick Jagger? That's plastic soul" and Paul took that and turned it around.

More tedious trivia: For anybody that didn't know it, the Devo title is a reference to thing the Beast-men chant in The Island of Dr. Moreau , also the source of the phrase "House of Pain."

Hurting is right about baddest title, My Name is My Namesake is right about Fiona Apple.

― Ken L (Ken L), Friday, 19 November 2004 05:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Pretty good, pretty good.

Also, #8) A sole (fish) made of rubber

Also #9) a condom soul

Man, I'm stretching this like a ... rubber soul.

― Hurting (Hurting), Friday, 19 November 2004 05:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Revolver? I hardly even know her.

― Hurting (Hurting), Friday, 19 November 2004 05:26 (twenty-one years ago)

How to please a woman:

Rubber Soul then Revolver.

(I have no idea what this means)

― supercub, Friday, 19 November 2004 05:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Another story I heard was that Brian Epstein owned a couple of records stores in Liverpool and he had an elaborate filing system for the various genres, LPs,EPs,45s etc. One day Ringo saw a record affixed with a sticker reading "File Under Rubric: Soul." He of course misread it as "File Under Rubber Soul" and the rest is history.

― Ken L (Ken L), Friday, 19 November 2004 06:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Naw, I made that shiznit up. But Brian DID have a record store and an elaborate filing system.

Man, is that Paperback Writer still in print? I loved it when I was a little teenager. I still remember some of the jokes from it.

― Ken L (Ken L), Friday, 19 November 2004 06:16 (twenty-one years ago)

what I want to know is, is it really true that they acutally were singing "baby, you're a rich fag jew", about Brian? I can't tell.

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Friday, 19 November 2004 06:26 (twenty-one years ago)

ok.. "Oh, you ate one too?" is the joke? That's dumb.... goddamn van halen.

anyhow, long titles: Mark Eitzel, Caught in a Trap and I Can't Get Out 'Cause I Love You Too Much, Baby.

― derrick (derrick), Friday, 19 November 2004 06:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I totally concur with this sentimentent. Then second Mcluskey album "the difference between you and me is that I'm not on fire' was pretty daft. Also all those supposedly evocative post-rock album titles.

― Seuss, Friday, 19 November 2004 08:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Although a lot of people hated it, I always liked the title of Creeper Lagoon's Take Back the Universe and Give Me Yesterday.

― Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Friday, 19 November 2004 14:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Daft, maybe, but not stupid. Still, nowhere near as good as:

"My Pain and Sadness is More Sad and Painful Than Yours"

― Ben Dot (1977), Friday, 19 November 2004 14:20 (twenty-one years ago)

No Matter How Long the Line is at the Cafeteria, You Can Always Find a Seat -Big Boys

#10) Bouncy soul-music. "Give me a soul, a bouncy soul."

― dave225 (Dave225), Friday, 19 November 2004 14:21 (twenty-one years ago)

A favorite (though I still haven’t gotten around to buying/hearing it)

Love 666, Please Kill Yourself So I Can Rock

Incidentally, anybody remember what the title of the “unjustly forgotten 90s albums” was? I have a humdinger I wanna bring up.

― Raymond Cummings (Raymond Cummings), Friday, 19 November 2004 15:05 (twenty-one years ago)

what I want to know is, is it really true that they acutally were singing "baby, you're a rich fag jew", about Brian? I can't tell.
-- Stormy Davis (electrifyingmoj...) (webmail), November 19th, 2004. (link)

yes. at the fade out.

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 19 November 2004 15:17 (twenty-one years ago)

http://ubl.artistdirect.com/Images/Sources/AMGCOVERS/music/cover200/dre800/e875/e8758869frm.jpg

Stupid?

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Friday, 19 November 2004 15:41 (twenty-one years ago)

The latest album by one of my bands is called "Duct Tape Occlusion Therapy vs Verruca Vulgaris." It's about using something abrasive (aka duct tape) to cure the common wart. A good way to describe the music.

― Michael F Gill (Michael F Gill), Friday, 19 November 2004 15:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Squirrel and G-Man Twenty Four Hour Party People Plastic Face Carnt Smile (White Out) by Happy Mondays is actually quite good.

― Adam Faithless (Adam Faithless), Friday, 19 November 2004 16:15 (twenty-one years ago)

They Threw us in a Trench and Stuck a Monument On Top

-- silly or not-so-silly? I extend this question to all other Liars titles:

They Were Wrong so we Drowned
Grown Men Don't Fall In The River Just Like That
The Garden Was Crowded And Outside
Nothing is Ever Lost or Can Be Lost My Science Friend
If You're a Wizard Then Why Do You Wear Glasses
They Don't Want Your Corn, They Want Your Kids

― iumforget, Friday, 19 November 2004 16:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I actually like "This is a Long Drive for Someone With Nothing to Think About" (Modest Mouse). Very evocative in it's emo-ness. Emocative? Emotivo?

― Chuckling at the Tomkat's Marquee (Ben Boyer), Friday, 19 November 2004 19:23 (twenty-one years ago)

ABACAB is named after a song structure, not a rhyme scheme, no?

― Paul Eater (eater), Friday, 19 November 2004 19:32 (twenty-one years ago)

When People Were Shorter And Lived By The Water - S/T EP

The Firesign Theater had lots of long titles back in the day, such as

How Can You Be In Two Places At Once When You're Not Anywhere At All?

But they had an excuse, they were a comedy group.

― Ken L (Ken L), Friday, 19 November 2004 19:32 (twenty-one years ago)

I've never heard it, but I like to say My People Were Fair And Had Sky In Their Hair But Now They're Content To Wear Stars On Their Brows. Did I get that right?

― Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Friday, 19 November 2004 19:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Wait, wait. I don't understand. The initial article criticises the U2 title for being overlong, then lists album titles that they see as being good, most of which are about the same length, then pans bad album titles, most of which are shorter? Am I missing something really obvious here?

― emil.y (emil.y), Saturday, 20 November 2004 00:24 (twenty-one years ago)

No, Emily, as far as I can tell it makes about that much sense.

― Chuckling at the Tomkat's Marquee (Ben Boyer), Saturday, 20 November 2004 00:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Stormy, that's fantastic! A very brilliant take on the Peter Weiss play with a similar insanely long and excellent title about the Marquis.

Squirrell and G-Man...is absolutely classic. I also nominate For How Much Longer Do We Tolerate Mass Murder? by The Pop Group.

― Ian Moraine (Eastern Mantra), Saturday, 20 November 2004 01:32 (twenty-one years ago)

They mention Funkadelic's One Nation but they didn't deign to mention some of the 'funkier' ones

Gloryhallastoopid
The Electric Spanking of War Babies
Tales of Kidd Funkadelic

This last one is not really that long, it has only four words, but so did some of the examples in the article.

― Ken L (Ken L), Saturday, 20 November 2004 01:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Since when did "Bringing It All Back Home" become so much shorter than "How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb"?

Anyway, Fiona Apple to thread :)

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Saturday, 20 November 2004 01:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Btw. Ken L OTM about George Clinton. Always the king of cool album titles.

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Saturday, 20 November 2004 01:49 (twenty-one years ago)

eight years pass...

Necropedophilia - The Delicate Process of Inserting My 12 Ton Penis Into Frodo's Ass
Magik Markers - Fucking a Girl in Front of My Father to Prove I'm Not Gay

― Mr. Snrub, Saturday, 8 December 2012 04:48 (thirteen years ago)

i like
I Know You're Married But I've Got Feelings Too - Martha Wainwright.

― piscesx, Saturday, 8 December 2012 08:53 (thirteen years ago)

Always liked
You, You're a History in Rust
by Do Make Say Think

― Room 227 (cryptosicko), Saturday, 8 December 2012 21:02 (thirteen years ago)

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