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In every resume, a John Foxx lyric

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Use your resume to create lyrics which might have appeared on a European club hit in 1980. Imagine the lyric intoned in a flat, deadpan, dystopian/paranoid European or English voice over a drum machine, a bleep and a squonk. Think Kraftwerk, early Cabaret Voltaire,John Foxx, Malaria!, ‘My Beatbox’ from Liquid sky, or The Normal. Here’s my attempt

My understanding of the Act
is demonstrated by my use
of mainframe confidential records
removing all identifiers

I applied the changes
Required by the Act revision
Altering the timeframes in
Our client correspondence


Obviously, the name of this band is ‘CV Gate’.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Friday, 19 November 2004 03:42 (twenty-one years ago)

That rocks. Might be even better if you shuffle the lines around so it's just fragments. I need to find my resume...

― wetmink (wetmink), Friday, 19 November 2004 03:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I used to review the tax code
Looking for loopholes
For my firm's clients
To jump feet-first through

Now I look at documents
That hostile outsiders want
If I do my job well
The client keeps their honey-pot

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 19 November 2004 04:01 (twenty-one years ago)

you have the word "honey-pot" in yr resume?

― Disco Nihilist (mjt), Friday, 19 November 2004 05:27 (twenty-one years ago)

that's nothing ... i used to list "badger growling."

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 19 November 2004 05:30 (twenty-one years ago)

what sort of skills does that entail?

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Friday, 19 November 2004 05:47 (twenty-one years ago)

aha, my question is answered:

Badger Growling

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Friday, 19 November 2004 05:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Served on a three-member task force that worked with an outside firm/
Ghostwiriting internal and external magazine articles and op-ed pieces for the president/"A Thoroughly Modern Milieu"

Note to self: Rethink carreer path. Sounding too much like Talking Heads not enough like Krautrock.

― mottdeterre (mottdeterre), Friday, 19 November 2004 18:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I used to review the tax code
Looking for loopholes
For my firm's clients
To jump feet-first through

Now I look at documents
That hostile outsiders want
If I do my job well
The client keeps their honey-pot

I am absolutely stealing this for a house record.

― Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Friday, 19 November 2004 20:33 (twenty-one years ago)

No you're not, I am.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Friday, 19 November 2004 20:49 (twenty-one years ago)

To secure a position
with professional growth
I've executed designs
for major accounts.

Used imagesetting systems
to generate
color separations
for process work.

― darin (darin), Friday, 19 November 2004 23:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I am also/very interested/in films.

(Just thought I'd add something for, you know, those of us who haven't really got much in the way of interesting employment.)

― emil.y (emil.y), Saturday, 20 November 2004 00:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Best...thread...ever. I really need to write a resume sometime.

― Ian Moraine (Eastern Mantra), Saturday, 20 November 2004 01:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I can hear the treated rhythm box now...

― Naive Teen Idol (Naive Teen Idol), Saturday, 20 November 2004 17:08 (twenty-one years ago)

May I suggest a name for the track: "I Don't Do Recreational Drugs".

― Diego Valladolid (dvalladt), Saturday, 20 November 2004 17:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Sounds good, Diego!

― Ian Moraine (Eastern Mantra), Monday, 22 November 2004 00:25 (twenty-one years ago)

most of these lyrics read like lost verses from Fake Plastic Trees

― thom, Monday, 22 November 2004 03:14 (twenty-one years ago)

eight years pass...

Eight-years-late PROPS for a great thread idea.

― Clarke B., Saturday, 5 January 2013 21:58 (thirteen years ago)

man I gotta try this...

― scattered to the nine vectors (snoball), Saturday, 5 January 2013 22:46 (thirteen years ago)

(I knew that padding my CV with meaningless BS would come in useful some day)

― scattered to the nine vectors (snoball), Saturday, 5 January 2013 22:47 (thirteen years ago)

(VERSE 1)

an experienced engineer
with a through knowledge
problems and solutions
learning new technologies

can work alone
or as part of a team
patient and methodical
under pressure or informal

(CHORUS)

The technician
The technician

(VERSE 2)

observes health & safety
relevant legal issues
from beginner to expert
different types of business

network infrastructure
management information
explain it to the client
servicing equipment

(sing CHORUS twice and fade)

― scattered to the nine vectors (snoball), Saturday, 5 January 2013 23:02 (thirteen years ago)

That's more Pet Shop Boys than Cold Wave. Typical Neil Tennant smutwinks in the lines about "servicing equipment" and "an experienced engineer".

― Grampsy, Sunday, 6 January 2013 00:37 (thirteen years ago)

seven months pass...

https://soundcloud.com/snoball/the-technician

― slamming on the dubstep brakes (snoball), Saturday, 10 August 2013 14:57 (twelve years ago)


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