Rank Anything You Feel Like Ranking

Here's "Painful"

1. Nowhere Near
2. From a Motel 6
3. Worrying Thing
4. Whole of the Law
5. I Was the Fool Beside You for Too Long
6. Big Day Coming (slow)
7. Double Dare
8. Big Day Coming (fast)
9. I Heard You Looking
10. Superstar Watcher
11. Double Dare

I almost did "Painful" instead of ICHTHBAO to start this thread. You have "Double Dare" twice and no "Sudden Organ," Barry.

1. Double Dare
2. Big Day Coming (slow)
3. From a Motel 6
4. Sudden Organ
5. I Heard You Looking
6. A Worrying Thing
7. I Was the Fool Beside You For Too Long
8. Nowhere Near
9. Superstar-Watcher
10. The Whole of the Law
11. Big Day Coming (fast)

Might as well keep going and do another one:

1. Our Way to Fall
2. Tears Are in Your Eyes
3. Crying of Lot G
4. Saturday
5. Everyday
6. Cherry Chapstick
7. Last Days of Disco
8. Night Falls on Hoboken
9. Madeline
10. Let's Save Tony Orlando's House
11. Tired Hippo

1. Our Way to Fall
2. Tears Are in Your Eyes
3. Crying of Lot G
4. Saturday
5. Everyday
6. Cherry Chapstick
7. You Can Have It All
8. Last Days of Disco
9. Night Falls on Hoboken
10. Madeline
11. From Black to Blue
12. Let's Save Tony Orlando's House
13. Tired Hippo

1. Selling England By The Pound
2. Foxtrot
3. A Trick Of The Tail
4. The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway
5. Wind And Wuthering
6. Trespass
7. Nursery Cryme
8. And Then There Were Three
9. Duke
10.Genesis
11.From Genesis To Revelation
12.Calling All Stations
13.Abacab
14.Invisible Touch
15.We Can't Dance

1. Danzig II - Lucifuge
2. Danzing I
3. Danzing III - How the Gods Kill
4. Danzig 4
5. the rest
6. Black Aria

1. Trapdoor Fucking Exit
2. Operation of the Sonne
3. The Whitehouse
4. Harsh Seventies Reality
5. The Damned
6. Repent
7. Tusk
8. S/t 2CD

george
john
paul
ringo

POPUL VUH >>>> AMON DUUL I

1.black music
2.white music

1. 1981-1984
2. 1973-1974
3. 1969
4. 1970-1972
5. 1994-present

1. Garden of Bones
2. Triumph
3. A Smoky Narchile
4. Zombie Cloud
5. urdog awaken
6. Long Shadows
7. Ice on Water
8. dmz

but that's a really hard thing to rank; the album's all of a piece and all very very awesome. Farfisa/guitar/drum trio sometimes going into total Hawkwind groove/space; droning keyboard parts; sometimes big riffs, sometimes quiet chant-a-long folk mumble. GOOD.

1. Antioch Arrow
2. Lava
3. Heroin
4. Angel Hair
5. John Henry West
6. Young Ginns

As for "Autumn Sweater", I love most of it, but there's this left-channelled drum pattern that Georgia plays that's horribly off-beat sometimes and totally disorienting on headphones, and it kinda ruins the song.

1. Animal Farm
2. Big Sky
3. All of My Friends Were There
4. Picture Book
5. Wicked Annabella
6. Starstruck
7. The Village Green Preservation Society
8. Monica
9. People Take Pictures of Each Other
10. Do You Remember Walter?
11. Johnny Thunder
12. Phenomenal Cat
13. Sitting by the Riverside
14. Last of the Steam-Powered Trains
15. Village Green

No arguments about the first or last...

That took a weirdly long time to do.

1. On the Ellipse
2. Lapsed
3. Bufo Alvarius (with Amen 29:15)
4. Set and Setting
5. Dilate
6. Amanita

Plastikman Albums:

1. Closer
2. Musik
3. Consumed
4. Artifakts BC
5. Sheet One

songs on "Souvlaki"

1. Here She Comes
2. 40 Days
3. Alison
4. Machine Gun
5. Altogether
6. When the Sun Hits
7. Dagger
8. Souvlaki Space Station
9. Mellon Yellow
10. Sing

1. Damaged
2. My War
3. In My Head
4. Slip It In
5. The Process of Weeding Out
6. Loose Nut
7. Family Man

1. Spencer Dryden
2. Everyone else

BC 05
BC 07
BC 09
BC 06
BC 01
BC 02
BC 03
BC 08
BC 04

1. Pastafarians
2. Buddhism
3. Bahá’í
4. Judaism
5. Hinduism
6. Islam
7. Christianity
8. Scientology

Since I started this thread, I'll use it for my top 50. I'm not enough of an ILM regular to make it another poll.

Aphex Twin — Selected Ambient Works Vol. 2
Bad Brains — Bad Brains
Beach Boys — Pet Sounds
Blind Idiot God — Undertow
Brian Eno — Taking Tiger Mountain (By Strategy)
Buffalo Springfield — Buffalo Springfield (1973)
Can — Future Days
The Clash — Sandinista!
Compulsive Gamblers — Gambling Days Are Over
David Bowie — Low
Death Grips — Exmilitary
Elvis Costello and the Attractions — Get Happy!!
Ensemble Ambrosius — The Zappa Album
The Fall — This Nation’s Saving Grace
Firesign Theater — Don’t Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers
Fleetwood Mac — Tusk
Frank Zappa — You Can’t Do That On Stage Anymore volume 2
Fripp & Eno — No Pussyfooting
George Lewis — Homage to Charles Parker
Half Japanese — The Band That Would Be King
Idjah Hadidjah & Jugala Ensemble — Sundanese Jaipong and Other Popular Music
Jamie Saft — Breadcrumb Sins
Jim O’Rourke — Insignificance
John Fahey — Womblife
Led Zeppelin — Presence
Lee Ranaldo — Ambient Loop for Vancouver
Material — Memory Serves
Mica Levi — Under the Skin OST
Miles Davis — In a Silent Way
Minutemen — Double Nickels on the Dime
Morton Feldman — Piano and String Quartet
Mr. Bungle — Disco Volante
Naked City — Absinthe
Neil Young — On the Beach
Pauline Oliveros — Crone Music
Pretenders — Pretenders 2
Rolling Stones — Exile on Main St.
Ronald Shannon Jackson — Texas
The Rutles — The Rutles
The Smiths — Singles
Soft Machine — Volume 2
Sonny Sharrock — Guitar
Stereolab — Sound-Dust
Talking Heads — Fear of Music
Tricky — Pre-Millenium Tension
Ween — The Mollusk
Yo La Tengo — Painful
v/a — Great Jewish Music: Burt Bacharach
v/a — Macro Dub Infection
v/a — Trojan Dub Box Set

You should have made this a poll, tbh… it’s a good list

Pretenders — Pretenders 2

:O

I think of you as an ILM regular, and who else is going to rep for Ensemble Ambrosius?

1. Death
2. Dishonor

i think of you as an ilm regular too and that ensemble ambrosius album is great, wonderful version of "Inca Roads"

Pretenders — Pretenders 2

:O

― out-of-print LaserDisc edition (sleeve),

I think Hynde is fronting a lot on the debut, "I Go To Sleep" is the better Kinks cover, both albums have some filler, and 2 has "Message of Love" and "Talk of the Town." Clear winner.

First "shit, I can't believe I forgot that one" — replace Get Happy with John Oswald/Grateful Dead — Grayfolded

WmC yeah make a poll

this thread should be for ranking the polls

lol

OK -- I found another change, call this thread the workshopping. I'll make a poll so I can't fuck with it anymore.

1. ESB
2. SW
3. ROTJ
4. AOTC
5. TROS
6. TLJ
7. TFA
8. TPM
9. ROTS

(yes, Internet... I went there)

I won't poll them because I'm not regular enough but this is what my last attempt to top 50 looked like

1. Suede - Dog Man Star
2. OMD - Dazzle Ships
3. Talk Talk - Spirit of Eden
4. XTC - Apple Venus Volume 1
5. Primal Scream - XTRMNTR
6. Manics - The Holy Bible
7. The Chemical Brothers - Dig Your Own Hole
8. Eddy Grant - Walking on Sunshine
9. Disco Inferno - The 5 EPs
10. Arthur Russell - Calling Out of Context
11. The The - Soul Mining
12. R.E.M. - Automatic for the People
13. Blur - 13
14. The Beatles - The White Album
15. Roy Wood - Mustard
16. John Martyn - One World
17. The Prodigy - Experience
18. David Bowie - Low
19. The Beat - I Just Can't Stop It
20. Nicolette - Now Is Early
21. Julian Cope - Jehovahkill
22. The KLF - Chill Out
23. The Cure - Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me
24. The Divine Comedy - Casanova
25. A.R. Kane - 69
26. The Beta Band - The Beta Band
27. Super Furry Animals - Guerrilla
28. King Crimson - Absent Lovers
29. George Michael - Listen Without Prejudice
30. U2 - Zooropa
31. Cardiacs - Sing to God
32. Show of Hands - Live at the Royal Albert Hall
33. Peatbog Faeries - Welcome to Dun Vegas
34. Underworld - Beaucoup Fish
35. Age of Chance - One Thousand Years of Trouble
36. Panda Bear - Person Pitch
37. Madonna - Ray of Light
38. Wire - 154
39. Fuzzbox - Bostin' Steve Austin
40. Paul McCartney - McCartney II
41. The Magnetic Fields - Holiday
42. The Paperboys - Molinos
43. Brass Construction - Brass Construction
44. Japan - Oil on Canvas
45. The Creatures - Feast
46. Fine Young Cannibals - The Raw & the Cooked
47. Lunasa - The Merry Sisters of Fate
48. Brian Protheroe - Pinball
49. Prefab Sprout - Swoon
50. The Knife - Shaking the Habitual

I think I felt my top 100 in general was too boringly white/male/british (also not dance-y enough) and that an equivalent songs list would be more diverse.

Voting Cope for "Gimme Back My Flag"

26. The Beta Band - The Beta Band

^This is very good indeed

29. George Michael - Listen Without Prejudice

^I'm sorry, you're going to have to specify which Volume this pertains to...

Because my top 50 isn't as dancey as I'd like it to be it means Volume 1.

Tell you something that's blatantly missing from that list even under the circumstances - KISH KASH

From that list is Arthur Russell for me. Good pick for best U2 album.

Actually seeing as I'm not polling, here's the rest of the top 100 - it's better than I remembered

51. Todd Rundgren - A Wizard, a True Star
52. Peter Gabriel - Peter Gabriel 3
53. Pop Will Eat Itself - Cure for Sanity
54. Basement Jaxx - Kish Kash (there it is, idk why it wasn't higher)
55. Nic Jones - Penguin Eggs
56. This Heat - Deceit
57. Gilbert O'Sullivan - Himself
58. Robyn Hitchcock and the Egyptians - Respect
59. Aphex Twin - Richard D James Album
60. Fatboy Slim - You've Come a Long Way, Baby
61. Martin Newell - The Greatest Living Englishman
62. Take That - Progress
63. McFly - Wonderland
64. Genesis - Abacab
65. The Jam - Sound Affects
66. Saint Etienne - Tales from Turnpike House
67. Meat Beat Manifesto - Armed Audio Warfare
68. Scritti Politti - Songs to Remember
69. The Specials - More Specials
70. David Essex - Out on the Street
71. Cockney Rebel - The Psychomodo
72. Four Tet - There Is Love in You
73. British Electric Foundation - Music for Stoaways
74. Sand - Golem
75. Friendsound - Joyride
76. James - Wah Wah
77. Can - Soon Over Babaluma
78. Miles Davis - On the Corner
79. Scott Walker - Bish Bosch
80. Silver Apples - Silver Apples
81. Barry Booth - Diversions!
82. Van Dyke Parks - Discover America
83. Frazier Chorus - Sue
84. Pulp - This Is Hardcor
85. Funkadelic - Free Your Mind...and Your Ass Will Follow
86. Brainticket - Celestial Ocean
87. Totó La Momposina - La Candela Viva
88. Paul Weller - 22 Dreams
89. Royal House - Can You Party
90. Super_Collider - Head On
91. Hi-Tension - Hi-Tension
92. Suicide - American Supreme
93. Position Normal - Stop Your Nonsense
94. Olatunji! - Drums of Passion
95. MX-80 Sound - Hard Attack
96. Kate Bush - The Dreaming
97. Orbital - Snivilisation
98. u-Ziq - In Pine Effect
99. Daphne & Celeste Save the World
100. Cursor Miner - Explosive Piece of Mind

1. Right
2. Left

(not politics, physical things)

WmC, I like your list a lot, would have put about 20% of those in mine if I made one.

Thanks! Now that I have this album stuff out of my head somewhat I'm thinking about making a list of songs that broke my brain but aren't on albums good enough to make that top 50 list. The kind of thing I'll make notes on for a month and then drop.

10. Marrying his mom so as to become his stepfather

9. Telling everyone he “drugged you” when he just gave you a hit of his joint that one time

8. Calling him “the male Amanda Palmer” behind his back

7. Posting fantasy revenge lists on ILM

6. Telling yourself (accurately) that any public call-out or anything like that would be an act of punching down

5. Spelling out his name as a musical cryptogram as a “devil theme” in your next chamber music work

4. Always referring to him last-name first, first-name last, like “Palmer Amanda”, it’s weirdly so satisfying

3. Recording yourself reading his social media posts in a Maggie Smith voice and share the recordings with your group chat

2. Teaching your dog to shit every time she hears you say his name

1. Living well

1. Outside
2. Station To Station
3. Hunky Dory
4. The Man Who Sold The World
5. Blackstar
6. Low
7. Lodger
8. Earthling
9. Ziggy Stardust
10. Scary Monsters
11. Let’s Dance
12. Pin-Ups
13. Aladdin Sane
14. The Next Day
15. Young Americans
16. Diamond Dogs
17. Heroes
18. Heathen
19. Space Oddity
20. Black Tie White Noise
21. Reality
22. Tin Machine
23. Buddha Of Suburbia
24. s/t (Deram)
25. Never Let Me Down
26. Tonight
27. (Hours)
28. Tin Machine 2

I was asked by a friend to "listen through Eurythmics' catalogue and rank them" and I told them I didn't need to, and sent a link to Alfred's own ranking (which is identical to my own, and says more valuable and interesting things than I would say). "Eurythmics is easy," I texted, "but Bowie would be harder." So I did Bowie instead.

That's a bold choice for number one.

shouldn’t it technically be 1. 1. Outside though

He named it deliberately to top every ranked list of Bowie albums iirc

It's a personal choice bc it's the first of Bowie's albums I ever "went deep" on (that is, listened to incessantly), but As Albums Go it's his most complete and there's only one or two tracks I would consider inessential (and none are really bad); also his most original genre-creation. The only bad thing about it is the plot but I think it kinda serves as a stinky binding agent or something

I wonder where Blackstar and The Next Day would place if the Bowie ballot poll were done today. 12 years ago, jeez.

xp I get the personal choice aspect. For me, that was The Man Who Sold the World, which seemed like a gateway into a different universe. I also appreciate your comment on the "plot" of Outside, which always kept me from loving what I otherwise appreciated as a return to form/evolution in his sound and vision.

Yeah, I love The Man and have always ranked "The Width Of A Circle" highly on any personal song list. What an amazing way to start an album, a "gateway into a different universe" indeed, "turn around, go back!"

otm about "width of a circle," what a banger

I've probably listened to The Man Who Sold the World and 'heroes' the most out of any Bowie albums.

So we asked a simple black bird, who was happy as can be
And he laughed insane and quipped Kahlil Gibran
And I cried for all the others till the day was nearly through
For I realized that God's a young man too

Yes dammit so, so, so good. The synapse between post-hippie Bowie and alien-rock Bowie is magical

International Dubs of the "Wisdom of the Gnomes" theme ranked

Source is this video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_3FgrTNUTQ

Hungarian version - This fucking thing goes _hard_. Singer is just giving it everything, and the vibe is impeccable. If I went into a bar and someone was singing this, I'd go back to that bar. Has a one-line spoken introduction, which most other versions don't. I like it. Even though it's a great dub, they just used the English credits visuals with no alterations!

Spanish version - The OG. Honestly a close call between this and the Hungarian version. It slaps, and the "rap battle" section in the bridge slays.

Dutch - Oh my God, it's the Europop version. Seriously, they put a eurodisco beat under the original music and it bangs. Singer is one of the better singers as well, real schlager vibes. I think this must be a re-arrangement/re-recording? There's no instrumental break here, in any case.

Polish version - Really plays up the Peter Gabriel vibes of the tune. Really nice backing vocals during the verse, and they actually went and dubbed the spoken bridge music with a violin. There are also wordless female backing vocals added, which I love. The singer also is a little loose with his phrasing, in a way that makes it sound better even though I don't know what he's actually singing. Has the spoken bridge. Also has a spoken intro _and_ a spoken outro. Like the Hungarian version, it just uses the opening credits from another version, although at least this version is the original Spanish version.

Italian - OK, this is kind of a cheat. If you know anything about Italian cartoon theme songs, you'll know they did something really clever when it came to their dubs. Basically they replaced all the original theme tunes with Italian-written eurodisco. These Italian theme songs are pretty much all bangers and a lot of them made the charts, which of course was the reason for the redone versions in the first place. There are even Italian bands today that cover the old cartoon themes. The Jem theme in particular is a banger. They also completely re-edit the footage under the opening credits, which I guess makes sense. This version also loses points for its "teases" of songs from particular countries, I guess, meant to signify the characters traveling around the world? You've got "Oh Susanna" and an Asian song I can't place. Not only that, they only do it with those two songs - if you're gonna do it, why not commit to the bit? This also loses points for being, uh, a completely different song. They changed the title, too - Viaggiamo con BENJAMIN is the Italian title. I also am holding this up to the standards of other Italian cartoon theme songs, and honestly, it's good but not exceptional. It lacks that little extra kick.

English version - Basically like the Spanish version but not as good. The raspy-voiced singer really plays up the Tom Waits vibes. I know there was an ad that used a Tom Waits imitator and Waits sued and won. They probably didn't have the dosh to pay Waits for this song, but damn I'd love to hear him do this. It would've fit in great on Orphans.

Arabic - The encoding here has kind of a wonky lo-fi vibe, like you'd hear on a tape being played by a Middle Eastern taxicab driver. The vocals also use, I don't know how to describe this, but the kind of ornamentation you'll often hear in Arabic music. Like it's clearly the same song but there's a certain amount of cultural adaptation. I don't know how I feel about the spoken-word section being in two distinctly different voices. One of them is a "funny cartoon voice". It does help, though, to be able to tell the two litigants apart. I also like the weird fade-in from another song at the end, when they taped the theme song they recorded it over something else.

Afrikaans - My friend who got me on this kick (asking if the Spanish version had the rap battle section) sez: "the Afrikaans one has the same energy as when I would unwittingly stumble onto fan-dubbed Russian episodes of The Dreamstone. I can't exactly explain what I mean, it just does". I have nothing to add to this assessment, except that the bridge is instrumental here as well.

Hebrew: The encode here really emphasizes the timpani for whatever reason. The singer kinda has the same raspy voice as the original spanish version too. Honestly I'd rank this as being pretty close to the Afrikaans version. Bridge not dubbed here either.

Finnish: Like the Hungarian, uses the English credits... EXCEPT. What they did here was to put the Finnish titles and intro text scroll IN BETWEEN THE ENGLISH TITLES. So the show is introduced first as "Wisdom of the Gnomes" and then "TONTUT". The theme itself is kinda meh. No attempt at dubbing the bridge.

Spanish version (alt) - Why does this exist? The original is so much better. This is just watered-down and anemic, without the rap bridge. Even sadder, according to commenter @Crystalll1990: "I'm spanish and most of people I know only know the alternative spanish one "

French version - Instrumental! Fucking cheat!

Not Ranked: German version. Did this show not get a German dub? Why not? Why on earth would this show NOT be dubbed into German? This makes me quite sad. The original of David the Gnome, "David der Kabauter", got a German dub. Who decided the children of Germany and Austria didn't deserve a dub of Wisdom of the Gnomes?

Dutch - Oh my God, it's the Europop version. Seriously, they put a eurodisco beat under the original music and it bangs. Singer is one of the better singers as well, real schlager vibes. I think this must be a re-arrangement/re-recording? There's no instrumental break here, in any case.

shout-outs to De Subjectivisten btw, really enjoyed your review of _I Saw the TV Glow_ (well, the machine translation of it)

best defunct online music shops:

cheap-cds (crown emoji)
hiphopsite
sandboxautomatic
insound
half.com

disqualified: turntablelab BECAUSE THEY'RE STILL IN BUSINESS. INEXPLICABLE.

(Tie) Uptown Top
(Tie) Roger

Top 10 defunct London record shops:

1. Sound 323 (Highgate)
2. English Weather aka Terrapin Trucking (Crouch End)
3. Music & Video Exchange (Camden)
4. Rough Trade (Covent Garden)
5. Shades (Soho)
6. Rhythm (Camden)
7. Steve's Sounds (Leicester Square)
8. Virgin Megastore (Oxford St)
9. Cheapo Cheapo (Soho)
10. Ray's Jazz (Covent Garden)

cheap-cds was so so great

planting a seed for later. feel free to throw suggestions out in the interim:

BEST LIVE ALBUM INTROS

my top pick right now is leo kottke's "boy i blew that!" flubbed slide intro on my feet are smiling. hm to jimmy smith cussing out the audience on the bonus material for root down.

still compiling my picks for that/\

i was going to do ranking for this one, but just couldn't decide on an order. so this one's more list than ranking....

top songs to feature some legitimately good honkin on bobo–
lindisfarne - road to kingdom come
bill evans+toots thielmans - sno'peas
gsh - storm music
durutti column - messages
april march - martine
northern picture library - lucky
talk talk - spirit of eden
b-52's - ain't it a shame
chi-lites - oh girl
ny dolls - it's too late
captain beefheart - grow fins
peter ivers - miraculous weekend

now I’m imagining that there is literally only one single harmonica in the world, Steven Tyler’s Bobo, that he graciously allows others to borrow on a first-come-first-serve sign up sheet

*_BEST LIVE ALBUM INTROS_*

1. My sixties.
2. My forties.
3. My thirties.
4. My twenties.
5. My childhood.
6. My fifties.
7. My teens.

My favorite Hooky bass moments:

https://humanizingthevacuum.wordpress.com/2022/02/14/the-best-peter-hook-bass-moments/

*_BEST LIVE ALBUM INTROS_*

The intro to "Live and Direct" by Aswad always made me laugh:

"This is Live and Direct. This is Live and Direct. You know what live and direct means? It means live and direct"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfVB0s90K5k

1. My sixties.
2. My thirties
3. My childhood
4. My twenties
5. My forties
6. My fifties
7. My teens

as i'd rate my 50s as second to last (only better than my childhood) you guys are giving me hope for the 60s

Every time a friend turns 60, I message them saying "welcome to the sixties club, where all the cool kids hang out". Because it's true!