All-Time Stupidest Lyrics

It IS NOT!!!

And if I ever lose my legs, I won’t moan, and I won’t beg,
Yes if I ever lose my legs, oh if.... I won’t have to walk no more.
And if I ever lose my mouth, all my teeth, north and south,
Yes if I ever lose my mouth, oh if.... I won’t have to talk...

"Just 'cause she dances go-go
Don't make her a ho, no
Maxine, put your dance shoes on
We going to the disco
We're going to ee-ee-eelope
To Me-e-exico
Called up my mama, said I'M IN LOVE WITH A STRIPPER, YO"!!!!!

"Late night club like a video with the hot stuff; top stuff - we got stuff, oh"

I drink up all the Hennessey ya got on ya shelf
so just let me introduce myself
My name is Humpty, pronounced with a "umpty".
Yo ladies, oh how I like to hump thee.
And all the rappers in the top ten--please allow me to bump thee.

[snip]

but sometimes I get ridiculous
I'll eat up all your crackers and your licorice
hey yo fat girl, c'mere--are ya ticklish?
Yeah, I called ya fat.
Look at me, I'm skinny

[snip]

My nose is big, uh-uh I'm not ashamed
Big like a pickle, I'm still gettin' paid

[snip]

I get stupid, I shoot an arrow like Cupid,
I use a word that don't mean nothin', like looptid
I sang on Doowhutchalike, and if ya missed it,
I'm the one who said just grab 'em in the biscuits

I smack a rapper toothless, and rappers can't see/
the way they have no teeth in their mouth, tryin' to step to me

- Eminem freestyle on Westwood

"Dare you to move"

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next
What happens next

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
Tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened before

- this is just the type of inspiration i need while im shopping at the Gap or watching the OC. "I dare you to.......buy those khakis!"
"I dare you to........get your fat ass off the couch and stop mastubating to Mischa Barton"

"You talk too much/You worry me to death
You talk too much/You even worry my pet"

Breathtaking!

I don’t know your fucking name.
So what let’s...

Screaming at me the only way that I can truly be free from my fucked up reality.
So I dream and stroke it harder ’cos it’s so fun to see my face staring back at me.

I don’t know your fucking name.
So what let’s fuck.

All day I dream about sex.
All day I dream about fucking.

All day I dream about fucking.

All day I dream about sex, yes,
All day I dream about sex and,
All day I dream about sex, yes,
All day I dream about sex.

All day I dream about sex.
All day I dream about fucking.

(pre-chorus)
Ooh, are you ready girls?
Ooh, are you ready now?

(chorus)
Ooh, yeh
Kickstart my heart
Give it a start
Ooh, yeh, baby
Ooh, yeh
Kickstart my heart
Hope it never stops
Ooh, yeh, baby

Skydive naked
From an aeroplane
Or a lady with a
Body from outerspace
My heart, my heart
Kickstart my heart

Say I got trouble
Trouble in my eyes
I’m just looking for
Another good time
My heart, my heart
Kickstart my heart

(pre-chorus)

(chorus)

When we started this band
All we needed, needed was a laugh
Years gone by...I’d say we’ve kicked some ass
(fuck you!)
When I’m enraged
Or hittin’ the stage
Adrenalin rushing
Through my veins
And I’d say we’re still kickin’ all that mother fuckin’ ass
(fuck you!)

Ooo, ahh, kickstart my heart
I hope it never stops
And to think, we did all of this...
To rock

(chorus)

(solo)

(chorus)

Ok boys, let’s rock the house

Kickstart my heart

War war is stupid
And people are stupid
And I heard them banging
On hearts and fingers

People fill the world
With narrow confidence
Like a child at birth
A man with no defense
What’s mine is my own
I won’t give it to you
No matter what you say
No matter what you do

Now we’re fighting
In our hearts
Fighting in the street
Won’t somebody help me?

Man is far behind
In the search for something new
Like a philistine
We’re burning witches too
This world of fate
Must be designed for you
It matters what you say
It matters what you do

Now we’re fighting
In our hearts
Fighting in the street
Won’t somebody help me?

After the bird has flown
He walked ten thousand
Miles back home

You can’t do that to me, no
You can’t do that to me
You can’t do that to me, no
You can’t do that to me

Now we’re fighting
In our hearts
Fighting in the street
Won’t somebody help me?

can't say i disagree with the sentiment but the lyrics are pretty inane!

though i have to admit that one's rather brilliant in its own way.

And I think the LL Cool J is just making a cute XTC reference.

In a world gone mad it's hard to think right
So much violence hate and spite
Murder going on all day and night
Due time we fight the non-violent fight

Mirrors, smokescreens and lies
It's not the politicians but their actions I despise
You and Saddam should kick it like back in the day
With the cocaine and Courvoisier
But you build more bombs as you get more bold
As your mid-life crisis war unfolds
All you want to do is take control
Now put that axis of evil bullshit on hold
Citizen rule number 2080
Politicians are shady
So people watch your back 'cause I think they smoke crack
I don't doubt it look at how they act

Should I continue or is YOUR BRAIN BLEEDING YET

I lay on the bed with you
We could make some book of records
Your dog keeps licking my nose
And chewing up all those letters
Saying "you better"
You better bet your life

When we all give the power
we all give the best.
Every minute of an hour
don't think about a rest.
Then you all get the power
you all get the best.
When everyone gives everything and every song everybody sings.

Then it's live
live is life
live is life
live.

Live is life - when we all feel the power.
Live is life - come on
stand up and dance!
Live is life - when the feeling of the people -
Live is life - is the feeling of the band.
When we all give the power
we all give the best. . . .

Then it's live
live is life
live
live is life
live.
Live
live is life
live
live is life.

And you call when it's over
you call it should last.
Every minute of the future is a memory of the past.
'Cause we all gave the power
we all gave the best.
And everyone gave everything and every song everybody sang.
Live is life.

I like your pants around your feet
I like the dirt that's on your knees
I like the way you still say please
While you're looking up at me
You're like my favorite damn disease

I hate the places that we go
I hate the people that you know
I love the way you can't say no
Too many long lines in a row

I don't know if anyone else has a favourite disease. Cancer? Heart disease? Syphilis? Even if you forgive the whole disease thing, I am absolutely convinced that the "too many long lines in a row" lyric doesn't refer to snorting illicit substances, but to the previous lines in the song. As in, while he was writing the song he suddenly realised that there were too many long lines in the song. So it's meta-retarded. Even if I'm wrong about this, it's such a shitty song that it's not even worth arguing about. It embarrasses me that these guys are Canadian.

"Night: her sable dome scattered with diamonds,
Fused my dust from a light year,
Squeezed me to her breast, sowed me with carbon,
Strung my warp across time"

The two most offensively asinine lyrics I've heard were "Drops of Jupiter" by Train and "Fly away" by Lenny Kravitz. The bits that annoyed me most were the astronomically inept references to our home galaxy, The Milky Way.

Train, "Drops of Jupiter"
Tell me did you sail across the sun?
Did you make it to the milky way?

Lenny Kravitz, "Fly Away"
Let’s go and see the stars
The milky way or even mars

DUDES: WE'RE ALREADY IN THE MILKY WAY.

Has any other song summed up the huge emotional gulf we experience between the ages of 22 and 17? Or was it possibly written by a stage school tosser who hasn't mingled with other human beings since puberty?

Peaches come from a can,
they were put there by a man
In a factory downtown
If I had my little way,
I'd eat peaches every day
Sun-soakin' bulges in the shade

I wish that I could fly
Into the sky
So very high
Just like a dragonfly

I’d fly above the trees
Over the seas in all degrees
To anywhere I please

Oh I want to get away
I want to fly away
Yeah yeah yeah

Oh I want to get away
I want to fly away
Yeah yeah yeah

Let’s go and see the stars
The milky way or even mars
Where it could just be ours

Let’s fade into the sun
Let your spirit fly
Where we are one
Just for a little fun
Oh oh oh yeah !

I want to get away
I want to fly away
Yeah yeah yeah

I want to get away
I want to fly away
Yeah yeah yeah

I got to get away
Feel I got to get away
Oh oh oh yeah

I want to get away
I want to fly away
Yeah with you yeah yeah
Oh yeah !

I want to get away
I want to fly away
Yeah with you yeah yeah
I got to get away

I want to get away x4
Yeah
I want to get away
I want to fly away
Yeah with you yeah yeah
I got to get away

I want to get away x4
Yeah

I want to get away
I want to fly away
Yeah with you
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Also:

You walk into the room
With your pencil in your hand
You see somebody naked
And you say, "Who is that man?"
You try so hard
But you don't understand
Just what you'll say
When you get home

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

You raise up your head
And you ask, "Is this where it is?"
And somebody points to you and says
"It's his"
And you say, "What's mine?"
And somebody else says, "Where what is?"
And you say, "Oh my God
Am I here all alone?"

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

You hand in your ticket
And you go watch the geek
Who immediately walks up to you
When he hears you speak
And says, "How does it feel
To be such a freak?"
And you say, "Impossible"
As he hands you a bone

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

You have many contacts
Among the lumberjacks
To get you facts
When someone attacks your imagination
But nobody has any respect
Anyway they already expect you
To just give a check
To tax-deductible charity organizations

You've been with the professors
And they've all liked your looks
With great lawyers you have
Discussed lepers and crooks
You've been through all of
F. Scott Fitzgerald's books
You're very well read
It's well known

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

Well, the sword swallower, he comes up to you
And then he kneels
He crosses himself
And then he clicks his high heels
And without further notice
He asks you how it feels
And he says, "Here is your throat back
Thanks for the loan"

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

Now you see this one-eyed midget
Shouting the word "NOW"
And you say, "For what reason?"
And he says, "How?"
And you say, "What does this mean?"
And he screams back, "You're a cow
Give me some milk
Or else go home"

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

Well, you walk into the room
Like a camel and then you frown
You put your eyes in your pocket
And your nose on the ground
There ought to be a law
Against you comin' around
You should be made
To wear earphones

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

I must be hallucinating
Watching angels celebrating.
Could this be reactivating
All my senses dislocating?
This must be a strange deception
By celestial intervention.
Leavin' me the recollection
Of your heavenly connection.

I'll leave it to someone else to pay tribute to Sting the King.

The entire song is example of horrible/dumb lyrics.

How many kinds, where can we start?
Yeah, we like them dumb and we like them smart.
I like the ones with the pretty eyes,
Well i like all kinds of guys.
Stop. What happened, how about the ones we especially like?
Which ones?
You know the ones with the cars that go..
I hear you..
Hit it!

It was me and the possy with Bunny (G)
We were cruising in the Jag or the Lambourgini,
When low and behold there appeared a mirage,
He was hooking up a car in his daddy's garage.
We stopped short, did a double take,
He was looking so fly, I thought I wasn't awake.
He was obviously hooking up bass, I asume,
But then he turned a little button and the car went boom.

We like the cars, the cars that go boom,
We're Tigre and Bunny and we like the boom.
We like the cars, the cars that go boom.
We're Tigre and Bunny and we like the boom.

We like them short, and we like them tall,
We like them one, and we like them all.
They're always adding speakers when they find the room,
Coz they know we like the guys with the cars that go boom.
And see my boyfriend really knows where it's at,
He's got 50 inch woofers all along the back.
He makes a comment on going to my room,
But I'd rather stay out with his car that goes boom.

We like the cars, the cars that go boom,
We're Tigre and Bunny and we like the boom.
We like the cars, the cars that go boom.
We're Tigre and Bunny and we like the boom.

Now if your car ain't got it, go out and get it,
We like the boom and don't you forget it.
So turn down the treble, and flaunt your bass,
So your car can be heard almost any place.
Coz when you're in the street you can't go far,
Without hearing the boom pouring out your car.
So if your speaker's weak, then please turn it off,
Coz we like the cars that sound so tough.

We like the cars, the cars that go boom,
We're Tigre and Bunny and we like the boom.
We like the cars, the cars that go boom.
We're Tigre and Bunny and we like the boom.

Everybody just beep your horn
Everybody just beep your horn if you hear us,
Now clap!
Hit it!
Beep, beep beep beep beep!
Come on everybody!
Hey, hey hey hey hey!
Beep, beep beep beep beep!

Even when he's bad he's still pretty good though.

Hmm, these lyrics are also in "There Must Be an Angel (Playing With My Heart) [Mix for Mirror Ball]" by Fantastic Plastic Machine. I didn't know it was a quote.

"But in this ever changing world in which we live in"

Wow, talk about redundant.

Just for starters:

I would like a place I can call own
Have a conversation on the telephone

and

Here comes love, it's like honey
You can't buy it with money

I checked and you're right, it's "we're livin'"

We'll start over again
Grow ourselves new skin
Get a house in Devon
Drink cider from a lemon

"as time goes by you will get to know me a little MORE BETTER.."

Yes, I'll get to know you a little more better as you sing a little more louder and your lyrics become a little more dumber.

"you don't have to be a Jew / To disapprove of murder"

Worst line of all time.

"I Just Shot John Lennon"

It was the fearful night of December 8th.
He was returning home from the studio late.
He had perseptively known that it wouldn't be nice.
Because in 1980, he paid the price.

John Lennon died. [X6]

With a Smith & Wesson 38,
John Lennon's life was no longer a debate.
He should have stayed at home,
He should have never cared,
And the man who took his life declared,

He said I just shot John Lennon.
He said I just shot John Lennon.
What a sad and sorry and sickening sight.
What a sad and sorry and sickening night.
What a sad and sorry and sickening sight.
What a sad and sorry and sickening night.

Ah, ah ah ah, ah...

I just shot John Lennon.
He said I just shot John Lennon.
What a sad and sorry and sickening sight.
What a sad and sorry and sickening night.
What a sad and sorry and sickening sight.
What a sad and sorry and sickening night.

Ah, ah ah ah, ah...

"Bosnia"

I would like to state my vision,
Life was so unfair.
We live in our secure surroundings,
And people die out there.

Bosnia was so unkind.
Sarajevo changed my mind.
And we all call out in despair.
All the love we need isn't there.
And we all sing songs in our room.
Sarajevo erects another doom.

Sarajevo, Sarajevo, Sarajevo, Sarajevo.
Bosnia was so unkind.
Sarajevo, Sarajevo, Saraje-
Bosnia was so unkind.

Sure things would change if we really wanted them to.
No fear for children anymore.
There are babies in their beds,
Terror in their heads,
Love for the love of life.

When do the saints go marching in? [X4]
Walk on tip toe...

"I'm Still Remembering"

I'm still remembering the day I gave my life away.
I'm still remembering the time you said you'd be mine.
Yesterday was cold and bare, because you were not there.
Yesterday was cold, my story has been told.

I need your affection all the wa-ay.
The world has changed or I've changed in a wa-ay.
I try to remain, I'm trying not to go insa-ane.
I need your affection all the way, the way.
Get away [X6]

I'm still remembering my life before I became your wife.
I'm still remembering the pain and the mind games.
Reverse psychology never tainted me.
I didn't sell my soul.
I didn't sell my soul.

I need your affection all the wa-ay.
The world has changed or I've changed in a wa-ay.
I try to remain, I'm trying not to go insa-ane.
I need your affection all the way, the way.

They say the cream will always rise to the top.
They say that good people are always first to drop.
What of Kurt Cobain, will his presence still remain?
Remember JFK, ever saintly in a way.
Where are you now?
Where are you now?
Where are you now, I said,
Where are you no-ow?

I need your affection all the way. [X4]
All the way. [X10]

"War Child"

Who will save the war child baby?
Who controls the key?
The web we weave is thick and sordid,
Fine by me.

At times of war we're all the losers,
There's no victory.
We shoot to kill and kill your lover,
Fine by me.

War child, victim of political pride.
Plant the seed, territorial greed.
Mind the war child,
We should mind the war child.

I spent last winter in New York,
And came upon a man.
He was sleeping on the streets and homeless,
He said, "I fought in Vietnam."

Beneath his shirt he wore the mark,
He bore the mark with pride.
A two inch deep incision carved,
Into his side.

War child, victim of political pride.
Plant the seed, territorial greed.
Mind the war child,
We should mind the war child.

Who's the loser now? Who's the loser now?
We're all the losers now. We're all the losers now.

War child. [X2]

"Salvation"

To all those people doin' lines,
Don't do it, don't do it.
Inject your soul with liberty,
It's free, it's free.

To all the kids with heroin eyes,
Don't do it, don't do it.
Because it's not not what it seems,
No no it's not not what it seems.

Salvation, salvation, salvation is free.
Salvation, salvation, salvation is free.

Ah, ah, ah, ah

To all the parents with sleepless nights,
Sleepless nights.
Tie your kids home to their beds,
Clean their heads.

To all the kids with heroin eyes,
Don't do it, don't do it.
Because it's not not what it seems,
No no it's not not what it seems.

Salvation, salvation, salvation is free.
Salvation, salvation, salvation is free.

Salvation, salvation, salvation is free.
Salvation, salvation, salvation is free.

Ah, ah, ah, ah

"Free To Decide"

It's not worth anything,
More than this at all.
I'll live as I choose,
Or I will not live at all.

So return to where you come from,
Return to where you dwell,
Because harassment's not my forte,
But you do it very well.

I'm free to decide, I'm free to decide,
And I'm not so suicidal after all.
I'm free to decide, I'm free to decide,
And I'm not so suicidal after all,
At all, at all, at all.

You must have nothing,
More with your time to do.
There's a war in Russia,
And Sarajevo too.

So to hell with what you're thinking,
And to hell with your narrow mind,
You're so distracted from the real thing,
You should leave your life behind, behind.

'Cause I'm free to decide, I'm free to decide,
And I'm not so suicidal after all,
I'm free to decide, I'm free to decide,
And I'm not so suicidal after all,
At all, at all, at all.

I'm free to decide, I'm free to decide,
And I'm not so suicidal after all,
At all, at all, at all.

"Lemonade was a popular drink and it still is
I get more props and stunts than Bruce Willis"

Although "With a Smith & Wesson 38/John Lennon's life was no longer a debate" might beat that.

"And even as a crack fiend, mama
You always was a black queen, mama"
-- Tupac, "Dear Mama"

I’m lying alone with my head on the phone/
Thinking of you till it hurts

Me:

Well, don't lie with your head on the phone, dumbass!

You didn't by any chance use those two words because they almost rhyme, did you?

Spark and Cindy live by their own means
They wouldn`t have if I`d only known where they`d been
And I want to make things a part of my life
And I want to see that things are going to be right
But if you can`t even stand on your feet
And if you don`t own the air that you breathe
Then it`s not for me to say

But I wouldn`t live that way
And I wouldn`t stand apart
And I wouldn`t find the real
and I wouldn`t play a part
And I wouldn`t find in love
So misguided by some fool
And just what I`m trying trying to say
Makes my head spin round the room

My favorite shit line of the moment:

Ninety days I have left here
And grass is greener than goooold
Fly with me and my revelry
You're all I have to hold

Could be just an average no-sense rock lyric I suppose but the emphasis it gets made me o_O, + in the video the singer has a creepy / nerdy Bob Dylan wannabe thing going on that is pretty A+

We can swing together,
We can have a wee wee,
We can have a wet on the wall.
If someone slips a whisper,
That its simple sister,
Slap em down and saliver on their smalls.

was that written by faeries from a mediocre fantasy novel?

Pretty sure it’s from A Midsummer Night’s Dream

one of the members of the band was called "the greatest songwriter since bob dylan". but not the one who wrote that song.

Wir können zusammen schwingen
Wir können ein bisschen Pipi machen