Bands You Like Because You Feel Sorry For Them

Oooh, lots! I keep hoping "this one's gonna be good!" but they rarely are. Anyway, from when I was a youngster, these were all my "completist" purchases:

Butthole Surfers (I think they're dead now, but they were getting worse and worse, depsite the fact they sounded like they were more "talented" by way of standardized music structure. Sonic Youth (what the fuck are they doing now? I HATE their last, um, what-- 10 albums? The downward spiral started with "Dirty" but "Washing Machine" was decent, at least. The latest 4 ep bullshit disgusts me) Dinosaur Jr. (actually, I gave up after "where you been?" Anyone hear J's latest band, The Fog with wassisname on bass from the Minutemen? I heard they just do Dinosaur tunes and some cover songs) Frank Black (The Catholics "live only" recording style might be the reason that there seems to be something missing, despite that familiar thoughtful voice of Mr. Black) Ramones (All The Stuff and more volume 500... or... "Hey, HO LET'S GO!" Actually, I didn't bother buying that) Screeching Weasel (Ups and downs, my attitude changes often, but I think they were the BEST about 2 years ago or maybe 3) Cracker (I used to like Camper Van Beethoven, but Cracker always sucked) Flaming Lips (I started with "Hit to death", which was good, but all the stuff I continued to buy previous to that release [except "ambulance"] sucked. However, usually I was pleased with the newer releases) Mercury Rev (I do like them, but I feel sorry for them for the sole reason that I know they're probably broke and nobody knows who they really are, despite the fact that they've got skills) Magnetic Fields (same reason as Mercury Rev. They impress me, then dissapoint me, then impress me again) Swans-related (Gira made some stinkers, but he's definitely impressing the hell out of me with Angels of Light and Body Lovers. Also, he's becoming quite the producer. Ulan Bator's "Ego Echo" is an amazing release, probably thanks to him) Pavement (I pretty much like the first third of their career) Stereolab (boring. get a new niche already)

I could think of more, but it seems I'm always saying too much. None of these bands were meant to seem A- List or anything. I know they are just not good enough to be mainstream deep in my heart and not original enough to be classified as unsung genius. Their audience is mathematically correct, given the musical equations.

Japan.

At 15 I thought I was the only person on the planet listening to "Oil on Canvas" day in day out. As much as I understood Japan's lack of significance, that only made them more endearing to me. So, during my long Japan phase, I developped the theory (silly but I still stick to it) that Japan was a band that rightfully DESERVED to be forgotten by the music-listening masses, because: - they are crap but brilliant at being so - their influence is utterly limited (quite frankly of no importance at all) - pre-Tin Drum: they were a bunch of pretentious yet funky Roxy- rippers; - post Tin Drum: became a bunch of pretentious Eno-rippers (we want to make serious music!)

However, even though Japan HAD to be forgotten (and they completely are now), my theory also involved a small cabal of fans responsible to keep the Japan lore and memory alive and to transmit it through the ages. I am thus the Grand Priest of the Japan Preservation Society. Dont buy Japan records though - they're really bad.

Wheatus, Aerosmith, Tom Waits

You hit the mark, Otis. Wheatus is just, well...like an 6-year-old eager to please you with his belching talent or whatever. Cute, endearing, but ultimately very very idiotic.

Tom Waits is -- well, humorous. Very humorous. I'm nearly as amused by his voice as I am by Gilbert Godfried's.

As for Aerosmith -- their new single is the aural equivalent of the 65-year-old actress wearing a "sexy" dress. The definition of embarassing. If it weren't for the vocal, it would sound like a slightly slicker Smashing Pumpkins power ballad.

I really, really, really have to remember that Gilbert Godfried line, that's PURE BRILLIANCE.

I'm also going to list the Manic Street Preachers, since I probably feel worse for them than I do for Oasis. I really fucking love their first three albums, even GATS which everyone seems to hate. So it was with good faith that I bought Everything Must Go, and let's be honest, there are a couple good songs on it (I could listen to Small Black Flowers all day), but mostly it sounds like my dad, drunk at his birthday singing Wonderwall. So it was with NOT good faith that I purchased This is My Truth..., which was just pretty much dreadful; it makes me think of my dad throwing his back out pretending to be Pete Townshend.

So it is with no faith at all that I will be buying Know Your Enemy, which I already KNOW is shit because I've heard virtually all the tracks (and I am SHAKING IN MY BOOTS waiting for Sony to have me kicked off Napster, ooh). It's partially because I just keep having this blind faith that one day they'll, like, be good again, but it's also just cos I feel SORRY for them. They've had it rough, what with the weight gain and the friend who decides to just fuck off and not let them know where he is and of course Nicky Wire's clearly gone insane (as insane as Coca Cola) and that must be rough to deal with.

They're kind of like the musical equivalent of the guy you agree to dance with at the club not cos you like him at all but because he just seems kind of sad and nervous. Whereas Oasis are kind of like, you know, my family members.

I like "Jaded". It sounds like a band becoming comfortable with their mediocrity, rather than accentuating it like in "Pink". Accentuated badness is why I love Wheatus, though, unless it's the Keds references. Their album's better than anything Aerosmith has ever done, actually, even Rocks or Toys in the Attic. And I quite like Tom Waits' voice. I'm fully expecting another great album from him too. I figure his fall into total, complete cartoonishness can only lead to him fully embracing the fact that he is but a human incarnation of Rawlf the Muppet.

Can I take a different approach to this question? There are LOADS of bands that I like because I feel sorry for them - I don't feel sorry for them because they're crap, though. Oh no. I feel sorry for them because I think they're great and deserve to be noticed by everyone. But they're not. They keep putting out their albums to mass indifference, I keep buying them, and I keep feeling greater and greater sorrow for them, while still loving their music.

So . . .

Japan (yeah, sorry Simon, but I do actually *like* them) and equally, David Sylvian; The Bathers; Furniture; Eyeless in Gaza; Seefeel; Scala; Disco Inferno (oh, and I've *really* been feeling sorry for Ian Crause since they split, even though his one and only solo single wasn't exactly celestial); Perry Blake; The Cardiacs . . . I could go on, but I have to go and look at my CD shelves and think "Oh, losers! I love them too!"

Mr Vaughan, if you want I can send you the official badge of the Japan Preservation Society (only if you really care ; )

Crime and the City Solution! Of course! They're second-rate country gloom, and were never successful (their success would have been surprising and unfounded, anyway) and Simon Bonney is a pathetic whiner, and for all of these reasons I really enjoy their records, esp. "Shine", of course.

For me it's Morrissey and Moby. My sister and me often say that they look really cute in a helpless way and that they need someone to feed them hot broth and tuck them in at night.

Also I kinda feel sorry for the Go-Betweens. About them never being succesful and all that.

But I don't remember ever liking a band because I felt sorry for them. The cycle was first liking the band, then feeling sorry, or more often, thinking "Awww" when listening to or talking about the band.