"Rock'n'Roll is requisite" rule NME rascals

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20/12/04

National music mag the New Musical Express announced yesterday that the phrase "Rock'n'Roll" must now be used in each and every one of it's articles throughout the first half of 2005.

"We know that our readers are dedicated to rock'n'roll and therefore insist that only rock'n'roll bands are to appear within our pages. There are already millions upon millions of mags covering dance music, so it's about time we saw the NME campaigning for what it does best? Bringing you the latest news, reviews and features on rock'n'roll." said a spokesperson yesterday.

Editorial staff at the paper have ruled that all articles must be related to rock'n'roll and that the words "rock'n'roll" must make a mandatory appearance in each one.

"This is great news for fans of rock'n'roll bands like Kasabian, the Libertines, the Futureheads, the Shins, the Libertines and the Killers." they announced, "We're here to prove that rock'n'roll will stand and that it's up to our readers to make up their own minds about what they listen to rather than subscribing to the no-brainer of mainstream pop and dance".

― dog latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 15:44 (twenty years ago)

Charlie is this true or have you gone gonzo?!

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 15:47 (twenty years ago)

This is popjustice pretending to be the Onion, right?

― STOP WITH YOUR PTANS (natepatrin), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 15:50 (twenty years ago)

I'm not sure, Nate, but it's making me feel a touch dizzy.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 15:51 (twenty years ago)

ROCK'N'ROLL!

― NickB (NickB), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 15:52 (twenty years ago)

Wooooo!

― NickB (NickB), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 15:52 (twenty years ago)

(And another Strokes fan hides his face in shame)

― STOP WITH YOUR PTANS (natepatrin), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 15:53 (twenty years ago)

I think I'll cut my dick off

― LSTD (answer) (sexyDancer), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 15:54 (twenty years ago)

I think I might spend 2005 hunting NME hacks with a crossbow.

― NickB (NickB), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 15:55 (twenty years ago)

Does this mean Robinson has stopped working for the NME then? I never understood why he chose to be employed by lots of publications that seem to disagree with Popjustice on absolutely everything. Other than, you know, money.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 15:56 (twenty years ago)

DISCLAIMER: This may or may not be a Chrimbo windup. What you reckon?

― tina gold (dog latin), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 15:57 (twenty years ago)

Someone alert Danny & the Juniors, the time is ripe for a comeback!

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 22 December 2004 15:57 (twenty years ago)

I'm looking forward to articles on the hot new acts for 2005, Eddie Cochran, Gene Vincent, Billy Fury. I hear that Elvis Presley has a new single out next month.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 15:59 (twenty years ago)

Or am I thinking of Jay & the Americans?

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 22 December 2004 15:59 (twenty years ago)

this magic moment.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 16:00 (twenty years ago)

You guys are just jealous. Nick writes his music hackery for free on the web and pretends he'd not like to be paid for doing it for NME or such like. "Oh not me mate", he says, "I want to work in a uni library and post pics of myself online in the hope you will think I'm hot".

Wot a loser. If you all hate NME write in to them and see if they give you a job - that way the mag will IMPROVE surely if you're all so confident in your opinions and abilities? It makes sense. Or maybe, and more likely, you are all incapable of this.

― C_Zar, Wednesday, 22 December 2004 16:07 (twenty years ago)

So basically, the NME intends to read like a lyric sheet for a Jon Spencer Blues Explosion album, right?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 16:14 (twenty years ago)

FULL GROWN WOMEN LIKE TO FUCK!

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 22 December 2004 16:19 (twenty years ago)

Come on you lot FFS, that's not even well-written satire

― DJ Mencap0))), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 16:21 (twenty years ago)

Come on you lot FFS, that's not even well-written ROCK'N'ROLL satire

― NME Editor (m0stly clean), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 17:11 (twenty years ago)

you are all incapable of this

many people who post here can and do write for other magazines. NME is the worst music magazine out there right now. FACT, as YOU might say. I wouldn't mind doing a few paid writing gigs (no-brainer really) and I know scores of people who have and do but it's not very high on my list of priorities now and hasn't been for some time - plus I've never met a pro music journalist who wasn't deeply frustrated about the whole thing and just a little bit unhinged (no offence everyone!) and i get enough of that as it is.

I'm sure this isn't actually true or anything but I've lost the will to care either way.

― Frankenstein On Ice (blueski), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 17:19 (twenty years ago)

Thanks for your reasoned response. More like this are always interesting to read. Me, personally, I still quite enjoy NME - although the design, rather than the content, puts me off buying it. They do a lot on the bands I like tho.

― C_Zar, Wednesday, 22 December 2004 17:24 (twenty years ago)

Magic Mushroomms are illegal - new laws in the UK!

so no Shromadelica for NME in 2005!

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 17:27 (twenty years ago)

is that true about the shrooms martian? just when everything was about to get fun :-(

― dog latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 17:38 (twenty years ago)

look on the bright side dl. no more shroomadelica.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 17:45 (twenty years ago)

i didn't think it ever existed for a start... how can one base an entire world-conquering genre based on one band (The Coral) to whom most people are entirely indifferent?

― dog latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 18:00 (twenty years ago)

UK Govt crackdown on magic mushrooms
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/4105883.stm

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 18:04 (twenty years ago)

i thought The Zutons and The Bees were included in shroomadelica as well?

― Frankenstein On Ice (blueski), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 18:08 (twenty years ago)

u.k. govt fun haters

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 18:14 (twenty years ago)

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