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Worst Music to Find Yrself Fucking to

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BREAD! So we were having a pretty fine time, I wasn't being too put off by whatever of Bread's mostly innocuous and predictable (almost AMBIENT in their boringness) hits were playing (it was "Bread's singles" or something, should've been called that anyway) but then "Fancy Dancer" came on and even the title turns me off (and believe me I was pretty hot for it before that came to mind) and yeah that was that, I had to stop the record and throw the cover around, things became less romantic. Yrself?

― Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Friday, 24 December 2004 14:21 (twenty years ago)

She likes Bread fine. We just broke up.

― Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Friday, 24 December 2004 14:29 (twenty years ago)

Oh and I managed to not mention, this wasn't my choice of music, I guess that might've been kinda clear

― Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Friday, 24 December 2004 14:30 (twenty years ago)

hmm! was that all a fuckin' xmas fucking disaster, to boot?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Friday, 24 December 2004 14:32 (twenty years ago)

billy joel, "vienna." OMG

― Haibun (Begs2Differ), Friday, 24 December 2004 14:33 (twenty years ago)

One time, "Sean's Show" was on, and he started singing "Jellypop Perky Jean".

(TV switched off. Love saved)

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 24 December 2004 14:55 (twenty years ago)

"Faint", by Linkin Park.

Blasting through ceiling by way of upstairs neighbours.

We, uh, rode it out...

― Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Friday, 24 December 2004 15:19 (twenty years ago)

Vindaloo by Fat Les is the classic answer here.

― Bernard the Butler (Lynskey), Friday, 24 December 2004 16:26 (twenty years ago)

I like it when a CD finishes then something totally unexpected comes on. Got to the final track on a nice winter-snuggly-electro compilation think it was a nice Reich remix or something, quite loud, then next thing I know Max Tundra's Merman was blasting out of the speakers. Hehe, impossible to keep a straight face, scared the shit out of us too.

― TomB (TomB), Friday, 24 December 2004 16:36 (twenty years ago)

You cannot have sex to Beck.

― LSTD (answer) (sexyDancer), Friday, 24 December 2004 16:46 (twenty years ago)

Weezer?

― Mike Dixn (Mike Dixon), Friday, 24 December 2004 17:17 (twenty years ago)

Adam Sandler.

― LSTD (answer) (sexyDancer), Friday, 24 December 2004 17:24 (twenty years ago)

Enigma "Sadeness"

― Shakey Mo Collier, Friday, 24 December 2004 17:28 (twenty years ago)

Leonard Cohen

― Elliot (Elliot), Friday, 24 December 2004 18:01 (twenty years ago)

They Might Be Giants

― Ian Moraine (Eastern Mantra), Friday, 24 December 2004 18:12 (twenty years ago)

Any Gary Glitter would make the brain reel if you thought about it enough at the time.

― Bernard the Butler (Lynskey), Friday, 24 December 2004 18:38 (twenty years ago)

A friend of mine lost her virignity whilst 'Bela Lugosi is dead' played on a repeating turntable. She was in a bedroom at a party and I couldn't figure out how someone could listen to that song over and over and over again. Now I know.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 24 December 2004 18:49 (twenty years ago)

BTW, I love the 'find yrself fucking to' quite amusing. "What's going on here? By Jove, I seem to be fucking! Excellent!"

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 24 December 2004 18:50 (twenty years ago)

'I want you sex,' George Michael. But that was just kind of funny and amusing. It was on tv. Fucking to cheesy music isn't that bad. All sex is pretty fun. Maybe when someone tries to put on something overly romantic or sad, that sucks. Fucking to sad music can be good, unless you shouldn't be fucking in the first place; then it's actually sad. Although, I reaffirm, almost all sex is good in the moment.

― Star Cauliflower (Star Cauliflower), Friday, 24 December 2004 19:20 (twenty years ago)

Taking Back Sunday.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 24 December 2004 19:39 (twenty years ago)

KEANE

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 24 December 2004 19:41 (twenty years ago)

Wizzard followed by Interpol

― pete d, Friday, 24 December 2004 19:49 (twenty years ago)

Have I already told my story about my next-door guy (a blood relation of Joe DiMaggio) whose go-to sex-music picks were Thriller and the soundtrack to Rocky IV?

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 24 December 2004 19:50 (twenty years ago)

Seriously seriously: could you possibly approach a bed and mount someone while the Rocky title theme plays?

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 24 December 2004 19:51 (twenty years ago)

Now I can't imagine any other scenario, thanks v. much!

― I Am Curious (George) (Rock Hardy), Friday, 24 December 2004 19:55 (twenty years ago)

Shakey Mo said: Enigma "Sadeness"

My old flatmate said his older brother was quite a stud in his pre-marital days and whenever the strains of Enigma could be heard wafting from his room it was a sign to stay away cos there was fuckin' goin' on. Maybe there's something in the low frequencies and drone of those monks, but I can't say I've never felt the need to enhance the mood by saying, "Hey baby, let's put on some Enigma".

― stew, Friday, 24 December 2004 21:29 (twenty years ago)

Jan Jelinek's loopfindingjazzrecords LP

― Mr. Snrub (Mr. Snrub), Friday, 24 December 2004 22:16 (twenty years ago)

the second montgolfier brothers album (lovely though it is)

― the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Friday, 24 December 2004 22:21 (twenty years ago)

I had a girlfriend that loved that Enigma CD and always put it on.

― Steely Zan (AaronHz), Friday, 24 December 2004 22:32 (twenty years ago)

Bob Ostertag's 'Sooner or Later'

― (Jon L), Saturday, 25 December 2004 00:14 (twenty years ago)

Coltrane's "Giant Steps" is bad makeout music.

― contribute, Saturday, 25 December 2004 00:43 (twenty years ago)

Mr.Dibbs "Turntable Hardcore"

I didn't care but its weird to think about having sex to that shit.

― SergDun (SergDun), Saturday, 25 December 2004 01:17 (twenty years ago)

barbra streisand/celine dion/jewel (omgwtf)

first girlfriend: older and conservative. i called her nouveau riche. we broke up.

more recently: michael buble/dean martin. new girlfriend.

― blackmail.is.my.life (blackmail.is.my.life), Saturday, 25 December 2004 02:19 (twenty years ago)

"Wonderful Tonight" - Eric Clapton

― You've Got to Pick Up Every Stitch (tracerhand), Saturday, 25 December 2004 02:50 (twenty years ago)

We have a winner!

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Saturday, 25 December 2004 03:43 (twenty years ago)

anything other than Talking Heads, "Once in a Lifetime"

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Saturday, 25 December 2004 03:44 (twenty years ago)

anything with human voices. dolphins whistling might be okay.

― youn, Saturday, 25 December 2004 04:48 (twenty years ago)

"Fields of Gold" on repeat...gahhh

And I just wanted to add that the sex I had to Lamb's What Sound CD was pretty spectacular.

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Saturday, 25 December 2004 06:40 (twenty years ago)

i kind of like bread.

having sex is pretty good in general, i would venture.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Saturday, 25 December 2004 06:42 (twenty years ago)

One time I had sex to Boy Sets Fire. We turned it off half way through. It's definitely not good.

― Mickey, Saturday, 25 December 2004 08:33 (twenty years ago)

Lamb seconded, that's essential bedroom fare.

My best friend used to have Clapton's Timepieces on the nightstand next to his bowl 'o condoms - a class act.

― Josh Love (screamapillar), Saturday, 25 December 2004 09:14 (twenty years ago)

hehehe..They Might Be Giants. No Shaggin' allowed. I'll add The Residents.

― cs appleby (cs appleby), Saturday, 25 December 2004 09:25 (twenty years ago)

seasons in the sun - terry jacks

― nick.K (nick.K), Saturday, 25 December 2004 10:06 (twenty years ago)

true.

― cs appleby (cs appleby), Saturday, 25 December 2004 10:18 (twenty years ago)

I don't think any folk or country music would work for me, maybe some instrumentals

― nick.K (nick.K), Saturday, 25 December 2004 10:41 (twenty years ago)

Happy hardcore.

― neil tacus (tacit), Saturday, 25 December 2004 10:54 (twenty years ago)

celine dion

she does have a disco album

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Saturday, 25 December 2004 14:54 (twenty years ago)

BUNNYBRAINS!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 25 December 2004 15:07 (twenty years ago)

how do u think i made most of that music

― dan bunnybrain (dan bunnybrain), Saturday, 25 December 2004 21:54 (twenty years ago)

the Rembrandts

― What's this place, Biblevania? (natepatrin), Saturday, 25 December 2004 22:21 (twenty years ago)

bunnygrunt

― Aaron A., Sunday, 26 December 2004 08:41 (twenty years ago)

happy hardcore

you're kidding, no? HH isn't something I'd make 'luurve' to but if you're after cheap gratification then it's perfect.

― nick.K (nick.K), Sunday, 26 December 2004 10:26 (twenty years ago)

(we didn't actually break up, she doesn't like Bread THAT much. Btw.)

― Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Sunday, 26 December 2004 12:12 (twenty years ago)

country radio.

this happened in college.

― Raymond Cummings (Raymond Cummings), Sunday, 26 December 2004 16:03 (twenty years ago)

The Birdy Song!!!!!!!!!

― Old Fart!!! (oldfart_sd), Monday, 27 December 2004 14:29 (twenty years ago)

What the hell were you doing playing -- let alone owning -- a Bread record to begin with? You shouldn't be allowed to have sex if you own a Bread record, lest you breed and populate the world with further abject tastelessness.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 27 December 2004 14:35 (twenty years ago)

Sorry, Andrew, that was a bit harsh. You're better off without a woman who is a Bread fan (wasn't that a Budgie tune, later covered by Metallica?)

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 27 December 2004 14:44 (twenty years ago)

primus - pork soda

:(

― 6335, Monday, 27 December 2004 17:44 (twenty years ago)

I've had sex to happy hardcore and it was great.

What wasn't so great was the time we had iTunes playing a random selection of Apoptygma Bezerk style melodic industrial stuff and a Merzbow track had been slipped in there by accident. The volume was cranked up way high also. We both froze in horror as the room flooded with speaker-ripping noises and then cracked up laughing.

Never tried it personally but I think that Cat Power song about abused children would rate pretty high in the sex-suckage stakes. Or the Jefferson Airplane one about the autistic boy that has kinda the same cadences.

― Jacob (Jacob), Tuesday, 28 December 2004 04:08 (twenty years ago)

SO late one friday night here in college park about 2 years ago im making out with this somewhat unattractive girl i meet at this apartment party. She asks me if i want to go back to her room upstairs and I agree. We are both completely loaded on southern comfort and at one point she gets up, removes all of her clothes, and looks at me in a look that im sure saw triple and says "let me set the mood." she goes over to her computer and puts some playlist on that includes : All the justin timberlake singles, "wanksta" by 50 Cent, "when its over" by Sugar Ray, and "Smooth" by santana. She proceeds to the bed and we proceed to fuck.

Two hours later im laying next to her as she snores softly and troll-like, but im wide awake, listening to those 6 or 7 songs over and over and OVER again. Absolutely ruined "Senorita" for me, a song i had previously loved.

I never saw her again, thank god.

― JD from CDepot, Tuesday, 28 December 2004 04:18 (twenty years ago)

I imagine you would sprain something if you tried to have sex while pretty much anything by Anal Cunt was on.

― John Bullabaugh (John Bullabaugh), Tuesday, 28 December 2004 21:03 (twenty years ago)

There was a memorable time in college that involed NIN's "Fixed" EP for exactly 30 seconds before being given the "music or me" ultimatum (and believe you me, it took less than five seconds to rip that CD out of the player).

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 28 December 2004 21:10 (twenty years ago)

JANDEK

POLKA

DUELLING BANJOS

― Hickabur, Tuesday, 28 December 2004 21:28 (twenty years ago)

Sex and The Wiggles DO NOT WORK, fyi.

― Molly, Tuesday, 28 December 2004 21:31 (twenty years ago)

i imagine that doin it like animals on the discovery channel bloodhound gang tune would be a real downer

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Tuesday, 28 December 2004 21:59 (twenty years ago)

Puff Daddy's "I'll Be Missing You." An ex subjected me to this once, in a tale I told a long long time ago in a long-forgotten thread. I broke out in laughter in mid-action, which pissed him off to such an extent that I ended up not getting any that night.

I imagine Victoria Williams must be pretty awful to have sex to.

― Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Tuesday, 28 December 2004 23:15 (twenty years ago)

UPDATE: The answer is Blueberry Boat.

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Tuesday, 28 December 2004 23:20 (twenty years ago)

i once found myself having sex - and yes, i was so drunk that it really was a "by jove ..." moment - to the braveheart soundtrack. this wouldn't have bothered me so much were it not for the fact i was an englishman in edinburgh having sex with a scot, and the subtext began to bother me quite a lot. shortly followed by the fear of having my cock hacked off.

(which didn't happen. just in case anyone wondered.)

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Tuesday, 28 December 2004 23:30 (twenty years ago)

the grateful dead are libido-crushing.

― shookout (shookout), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 01:31 (twenty years ago)

anything by lou barlow. whiney weener musick.

― stevie nixed (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 01:53 (twenty years ago)

Haha "69"

― Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 02:25 (twenty years ago)

I know Al Green is supposed to be the classic lay music, and I think that's exactly why I dislike shagging to it so much. It makes me feel like I'm having Sex(tm) brand sex.

― Hurting (Hurting), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 05:00 (twenty years ago)

"I know Al Green is supposed to be the classic lay music, and I think that's exactly why I dislike shagging to it so much. It makes me feel like I'm having Sex(tm) brand sex. "

OTFM

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 05:18 (twenty years ago)

otm

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 05:26 (twenty years ago)

LB OTM

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 05:26 (twenty years ago)

Latebloomer OTM.

― Hurting (Hurting), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 05:30 (twenty years ago)

Latebloomer OTM.

-- Hurting (Hurtingchie...), December 29th, 2004.

OTM

― contribute, Wednesday, 29 December 2004 05:40 (twenty years ago)

Sorry about that Tim. But hey, it was in the changer.

― You've Got to Pick Up Every Stitch (tracerhand), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 06:18 (twenty years ago)

"We Like To Party" would be awkward.

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 07:00 (twenty years ago)

And a seventeenth OTM to the Al Green comment, only I'd substitute Barry White instead. Also Marvin Gaye's Let's Get It On LP, as opposed to the genuinely sexy I Want You one.

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 07:01 (twenty years ago)

Awesomely horrendous results whilst fucking with multi-disc changer on random in background:

*Sinead O'Connor "This Is The Last Day Of Our Acquaintance"
*Ween "Pumpin' 4 The Man" (although I could see how this might have turned out awesome under other circumstances)
*Wesley Willis "Snoop Dogg" (but really, any Wesley Willis song will do)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 14:26 (twenty years ago)

(by "under other circumstances" I obviously meant giggly on acid)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 14:26 (twenty years ago)

For inappropriateness, I'd probably go with The Beastie Boys' "Paul Revere"

― Hurting (Hurting), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 15:40 (twenty years ago)

Christ, me getting laid is such a rare occurrence that I don't care WHAT'S playing - Michael Bolton, Merzbow, name it. (This is a message to the women of ILM. Why am I telling you this? G-d I'm pathetic.)

― Myonga Von Bonedry (Myonga Von Bontee), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 16:14 (twenty years ago)

There arent any y'know

― Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 16:15 (twenty years ago)

phish

― Big Baby Bingo (Chris V), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 16:19 (twenty years ago)

re: Green
The Belle Album works ok
focus on Jesus
you'll be alight

― LSTD (answer) (sexyDancer), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 16:25 (twenty years ago)

Actually wait, it's Snoop - "Ain't no fun (if the homies can't have none)" especially if you live in a flatshare.

― Jacob (Jacob), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 16:36 (twenty years ago)

There is a Phish song or two that are good for fuckin'. I can't remember what they're called though. I do remember though that they were instrumentals, ie not tarred by such lyrical amazingocities such as "hey, Wilson, King of Prussia, I'll punch you in the eye".

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 16:46 (twenty years ago)

UPDATE: The answer is Blueberry Boat.

*wonders if Tim saw this thread, looked over at his amour and considered an experiment*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 16:49 (twenty years ago)

Funcking would be the only time I could possibly imagine enjoying myself while listening to They Might Be Giants.

― You've Got to Pick Up Every Stitch (tracerhand), Wednesday, 29 December 2004 19:55 (twenty years ago)

"*wonders if Tim saw this thread, looked over at his amour and considered an experiment*"

No, but that's how I worked out how N.O.R.E.'s "Oye Mi Canto" is currently the best song!

Hey Tracer no worries, you were fantastic.

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Thursday, 30 December 2004 01:00 (twenty years ago)

zos kia - rape

five clams to anybody who sets the mood to thispick.

http://www.brainwashed.com/common/sounds/mp3/zos_kia-rape-live_berlin_atonal.mp3

― deanster, Thursday, 30 December 2004 22:47 (twenty years ago)

Elton John - B-b-b Benny and the Jets

― Hot Pants, Friday, 31 December 2004 23:28 (twenty years ago)

anything by michael jackson,pete townsend,gary glitter

― not tonight teen, Saturday, 1 January 2005 10:16 (twenty years ago)

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