Will 'New Answers' ever go back to normal?

xpost -- You seem to be in need of catching one yourself, Mr./Ms. voice.

Dear Voice Of Reason,

SHUT UP.

Love,

Planet Earth

VBJ
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XUH
K,HV J
.JK

HKBG
N.F
VB
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GO!!!!!!!!!!

Nah, just one or two suckas. Ignorant brothas, tryin' to rob and steal from one anotha.

new answers is so fucking boring atm

FUCK YOU VOICE!!!! BURN IN FUCKING HELLL YOU SON OF A FUCKING BITCH!!! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!!

louis did you just search thread titles for "new answers"

yeah, and it IS fucking boring. so many s/d, c/d threads, so many pointless polls, no humour, no decent theory or conjecture, no big statements. it's just nitty-gritty, everyday, common-or-garden listmaking for the most part. needs more spice.

...but that's why I'm here.

It's not half as bad as New Questions which is the same every damn time.

xpost

you should read rolling snap xp

i never know where to start with hip-hop! whenever i ask, someone gives a comedy strawman list, i'm like "ok! :)" and ilm falls about laughing

check for kool keith hes one crazy customer :D :D :D :D

Start with any hip hop that isn't British. This is key.

xpost

Hey, that at least I know!

http://podcasts.portlandmercury.com/files/2006/09/0410_sr3.jpg

I almost said "excluding Slick Rick", but I didn't want to confuse the young fellow.

can we turn this into the thread where people link to rap mp3s and ask Lou1s J@gger to review them

needs more spice.

here's how to spice things up, based on my observations over the years:

tell everyone that you are white and then quote a song containing the word 'niggaz,' without putting censoring it with asterisks. mountains of guilty white guys will surround you with their self-righteous venom, and a huge vitriolic ball of flame with spew forth and envelop the whole message board like Vesuvius on Pompeii.

PAUL EDWARD WAGEMANN RIDES AGAIN!

I can review poetry. I do it for a degree! I'll only lose out by not knowing the context, the significance of the lyrics, within the broader hip-hop community. Shout-outs, disses and American cultural references might sound imposing, but I won't be able to appreciate their poignancy without devoting years of research to the topic. Hence, my reviewing heft will be limited. I'm guessing this is where your lolz are gonna come from.

Richard, what are your feelings on James Brown?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=D9g2szHsoz0
^^^ louis

I can review poetry. I do it for a degree!

The idea that this would be a major qualification is where the other half of the lolz would come from.

Hmm.

OK, let's rise to the challenge.

Lame-o female announcer, harsh, quasi-Ibiza synths, a very straightforward, uncomplicated beat...not promising much thus far. His flow is monotonous; almost mumbled; it's hard to actually pick up what he's saying. I'll go back to the start of the verse and listen more closely.

OK, it seems to be composed mainly of US place-names. So far, so inspired.

UGH, clean vocals in the chorus are LAME. I know that self-aggrandisement is one of the tenets of hip-hop, but these guys are witless and artless. They have no wordpley, no style.

This video is shit as well. Is it some sort of parody? At one point (2:26), two of Khaled's minions appear to be trying to hump each other.

This second verse is a slight improvement; the synths are less garish. Quit with the bass drum already, though!

The dude they recruit to do the outro has a more interesting flow. He's clearly the talented one. Still no great shakes, though.

*wordplay

round 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izB85LUlygE

you're not even gonna mark my essay? did i pass?

Lame-o female announcer, harsh, quasi-Ibiza synths, a very straightforward, uncomplicated beat...not promising much thus far.

what

His flow is monotonous; almost mumbled; it's hard to actually pick up what he's saying. I'll go back to the start of the verse and listen more closely. OK, it seems to be composed mainly of US place-names. So far, so inspired.

what are you even talking about

The dude they recruit to do the outro has a more interesting flow. He's clearly the talented one. Still no great shakes, though.

are you talking about lil wayne

I know that self-aggrandisement is one of the tenets of hip-hop, but these guys are witless and artless. They have no wordpley, no style.

RONG

OK...I'm already liking this MUCH more. Nice synths, ooh, and a slap bass! Plenty of funk, and an actual tune! OK, this established, let's go back and listen to the lyrics.

He's got a slower flow than Khaled, but it's more nuanced, more interesting, and most importantly more audible. Hints of nostalgia, the slap-bass actually appearing to mirror some lyrical sentiment, disappearing when the recollection finishes. Not much wordplay either, but he seems to be telling the poignant story of his upbringing, with many a knowing comment on the ironies and realities of his life.

I don't like their T-shirts though. Ugh. Very 80's. And the video's pretty rudimentary.

I'd say it's a definite improvement over the previous one, although I'm guessing it gets a lorra lorra lot better than this. Again, a slight lack of artfulness, and a tendency to repeat stock phrases, slightly sabotages the track's catchiness.

Damn, that's pretty vindictive :(

I'm talking about the long-haired guy who does the outro!

round 3 GRAND FINALE: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKmLw98sLVM

There's no point showing late 90s hip-hop to Louis. He sees the dudes walking around mansions with $500,000 grills and water fountains spunking out 3 gallons of VSOP every hour and just goes "My god, how do these people manage to survive in such poverty?"

GOD, just give me someone I've heard of like Sage Francis or KanYe! Then I'd know to big it up!

OK, this one has harpsichord. Very classy. Nice hi-hat sample too. Probably my favourite backing-track thus far. There's even a bit of scratching! All good stuff. Not too overdone either; very tasteful, not dominating the vocal flow.

Those cars are seriously awes.

I actually like the flow here too. The occasional rhythmical flurry removes it from monotony, and the lyrical content is, apparently, laced with plenty of worldy cultural references and imbued with a certain amount of contextual density.

The chorus is fairly repetitive, but it flips back into the verse very satisfyingly, with some great rhythm sampling. Someone else is doing this verse. He's slightly faster, slightly more tricksy, but I probably value the first guy slightly higher.

Outro guy's pretty good too. In summary, this is very slick, and the production is top-notch.

thanks louis!

Louis: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=wuVL3cC2PHw

XXXXXXXX-post

Slick Rick lived in New York since he was 10.

bein a gangsta is so neat!

louis doesn't know who Too $hort is?

louis review this track:

TRACK ID HELP AGAIN: (this time i have a YSI) - seven minute disco/soul thing of beauty

slightly more tricksy

http://mag.awn.com/issue8.10/8.10images/gollum03_Gollum_goodRen.jpg

(His content-free, painfully vapid reviews apparently styled on one-par box sidebars in a daily paper are embarrassing, of course, but really only display the same inability to talk about music that he exhibits about stuff he already likes.)

i kind of assumed the snap thread was people giving each other snaps.

thought it was just people saying 'ohhhh snap'

(His content-free, painfully vapid reviews apparently styled on one-par box sidebars in a daily paper are embarrassing, of course, but really only display the same inability to talk about music that he exhibits about stuff he already likes.)

Or maybe I was playing along with Ethan's little game, fully aware that I know absolutely nothing about rap, but eager to at least make some pointed 'outsider' comments, partly for the purposes of humour, but also partly to judge my skill at reading unseen texts. I like how you think my reviews are 'content-free'. They've got as much content as I could glean from the songs without knowing any background shizzle! Never heard of 'practical criticism'? I despair.

I would also take you up on this "inability to talk about music" issue, but I physically can't. Look at me, all unable like.

ring the alarrrrm another board is dying woah hey

practical criticism

xpost

I was thinking Louis should be doing a little better, what with all that training.

It's hard when you can't keep up with what they're saying! All I had to go on were cluttered images and the occasional snippet of clarity. Above anything else, listening to rap requires practice and dedication! It's only when you fully understand the flow that you can hear and make sense of all the words. Either that, or you obtain a lyric-sheet. I could do some prac crit on a rap lyric-sheet, if you want...

that page is wrong about empson. fucking read 'using biography', chump-ass cambridge faculty. basically the foucault/barthes brigade trying to colonize the past and make everything about their lame New Critic ancestors. empson beefed with the fool new critics.

Buffalo Bill's

defunct

who used to

ride a watersmooth-silver

stallion

and break onetwothreefourfive pigeonsjustlikethat

Jesus

he was a handsome man

and what i want to know is

how do you like your blueeyed boy

Mister Death

empson beefed with the fool new critics

My new favourite ILM sentence!

it ought to be incorporated into a rap song about the history of 20th century lit-crit

he got sonned by fool new critics after a aol beef

louis i appreciated your reviews

(His content-free, painfully vapid reviews apparently styled on one-par box sidebars in a daily paper are embarrassing, of course, but really only display the same inability to talk about music that he exhibits about stuff he already likes.)

-- energy flash gordon, Friday, August 17, 2007 8:07 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

dnft

needs more spice.

i give you spice, now i'm a troll. so much for new answers then. lock thread.

you idiot i'm calling energy flash gordon a troll

BAN LOUIS JAGGER

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hazing

you idiot i'm calling energy flash gordon a troll

oh god, sorry! :-/

longest hazing ritual ever

now i got carte
blanche postin' on the
heart-wrench snap-ranch
hoosteen ma homeboy ethan p
deej as well the homeboyz
three, bros in combat, oil
to burn, toil and trouble
all's i can see, well, shee-yit
i got trouble for i.l.x.
don't need no tv, this is
street knowledge, me to you
reportin' from da front-
line of i love mu-
sic, we're sick, our
beats are slick, with
some fairly well-elocuted
if sterile rapping in the verses

...

this is next level

tight

http://www.armenianchurch.ca/images/holymotherofgod.jpg

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hazing

-- Roffle Roffle, Friday, 17 August 2007 14:48 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

I think ILM finally went through the looking glass today.

Fails to fulfill potential by not rhyming 'ILX' with 'group sex' but otherwise promising.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/wallpaper/images/david_dance_640.jpg

trick missed re HE WHO TROLLS SPICE TROLLS UNIVERSE. great shame.

that is a pity

oil
to burn

is L0uis a Sadaam loyalist?

Jesus Dom, ask him out for a drink. Sure, he'll reject you like the bitch that you are but still... Give it a try!

i don't see what's so hard about appreciating music for which you have no context. either you feel it or you don't. do not correct me if i'm wrong.

like, i get not knowing how to say anything meaningful about it

new answers is boring again

http://www.vitalic.info/data/news/warm_the_normal.jpg

I hope I don't start spending so much time here that I understand what threads like these actually mean.

yo where's richard wood johnson been at?

lost his password, probably.

if only max r had found this thread, eh?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/bb/Happycorner.png

let's make ILM fun again

and wacky?

no site new answers for 35 minutes (n.b. I have economised which boards I can see for productivity purposes)

omg, reading this thread and now this post, you are a god

ILM is where all my motivational raps go, special thing we got goin' on

Get a life.
― the voice of reason, Saturday, 1 January 2005 03:41 (6 years ago)

LJ, you & deej should get a Terriers-style buddy P.I. show on cable...

Looks like it got back to normal.

dear tanuki, this is how u do it