Have you ever played songs on a jukebox and end up having the bartender skip them?

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I have. Here's my story:

So I'm back in the Old Country for the holidays (small college town in Missouri) and on X-mas eve some buddies and I go out for drinks. As soon as we arrive the jukebox is blaring an onslought of Cookie Monster-sung Nu-Metal. This goes on for about an hour and I want to leave, but it's the only bar that's open. Finally, I throw a few dollars in the jukebox and I'm pleased to find some Curtis Mayfield, Black Sabbath, some indie, ect. Well, three hours pass and my songs never play. We're getting pretty drunk by this point and then about a half hour before last call they finally come on. The opening bars of "Hand of Doom" begin and I'm estatic. (Mind you - we had been listening to NOTHING but nu-metal for the past several hours). And then all of the sudden the song stops and my next song begins. And then again - same thing. That's when I notice that the bartender has a button behind the counter that he's hitting to forward to the next track.

I can't fucking believe it!

So on my fourth song "Superfly" starts up, he reaches for the button, and I freak out. I stand up (we're sitting at a table a good 20 feet from the bar) and scream "NO YOU FUCKING DON'T - THAT'S SUPERFLY AND YOU'RE FUCKING PLAYING IT!!!!"

Well, he quit skipping songs at that point. Although I felt a slight measure of shame for making a spectacle, I was pleased.

So how about you? Am I the only person that this has happened to? Anyone have other small town Christmas music-related horror stories?

darin (darin), Monday, 3 January 2005 19:29 (twenty years ago)

fuck that dude!!!

Ganbare Goemon (ex machina), Monday, 3 January 2005 19:36 (twenty years ago)

sometimes this is a good thing - a bar that I frequently go to does this every time a Dave Mathews song comes on

Space Is the Place (Space Is the Place), Monday, 3 January 2005 19:37 (twenty years ago)

In drunken act of greediness (I should have played the hit), I played Lou Reed's "Dimestore Mystery" in a shitty frat bar. The bartender killed it and put on Jimmy Buffet.

dave225 (Dave225), Monday, 3 January 2005 19:37 (twenty years ago)

i was at the great lakes, this indie bar in brooklyn, but for some reason theres one plastikman song on a mixcd in the jukebox. i played it and 30 seconds in, it got cut off and then a GBV song went on. sux

phil-two (phil-two), Monday, 3 January 2005 19:39 (twenty years ago)

darin,i hate that guy!

jed_ (jed), Monday, 3 January 2005 19:41 (twenty years ago)

xpost:
great lakes? I wonder if they would do the same at boat?

Ken L (Ken L), Monday, 3 January 2005 19:43 (twenty years ago)

One time, I put in my dollar at the local "Irish" pub in my neighborhood and chose the three songs, one of them "Sister Ray"... I wish the selection choices were better, but they could have been worse...

the bartender actually let 13 minutes of "Sister Ray" go by before skipping the song.. then the bartender skipped the 3 minute Stone Roses' "She Bangs The Drums" after 30 seconds. Fuckers. Never been back there since.

donut christ (donut), Monday, 3 January 2005 19:49 (twenty years ago)

This happens regularly at the local bar I frequent. I know where the 86 button is and can reach it with a pool stick, allowing me to share in the duty of cultural arbiter. We will never hear "American Life" or "Hollywood" at the Duplex again if I can help it.

Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Monday, 3 January 2005 19:52 (twenty years ago)

The Duplex? I thought they did sing-a-long showtunes there.

Ken L (Ken L), Monday, 3 January 2005 19:53 (twenty years ago)

my mate's brother once went into a pub in leeds, put on "the fog on the tyne" by lindisfarne - the version with gazza - ten times, then fucked off sharpish. shame, really, because i'd have loved to know how that went down.

grimly fiendish (grimlord), Monday, 3 January 2005 20:03 (twenty years ago)

I was at a bar with a jukebox that had copies of OK Computer and Discovery, notably. I was trying to figure out if it'd be funnier to queue up "Fitter Happier" 15 times or "Too Long" 15 times, but then suspected there was probably a skip button like some of you have described.

Vinnie (vprabhu), Monday, 3 January 2005 20:03 (twenty years ago)

> The Duplex? I thought they did sing-a-long showtunes there.

In the downstairs, yes. The upstairs is more of a trad bar. Way too much Liza in the jukebox, but at least they've got obscuro disco trash classics and decent Brooooce representation.

Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Monday, 3 January 2005 20:10 (twenty years ago)

Besides the annoying phenomenon that is under discussion here, which I have indeed experienced, although not recently, can I ask has anybody else ever noticed that there used to be two jukebox algorithms, one First In First Out and one a Sorted Algorithm so if C6 was playing and you punched in C8, you might get to hear it straightaway?

Ken L (Ken L), Monday, 3 January 2005 20:26 (twenty years ago)

If I have my way this will all be irrelevant when every bar has an internet jukebox and we all bankrupt ourselves on competitive "Make Mine First!" investments.

Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Monday, 3 January 2005 21:28 (twenty years ago)

they should be offering refunds if they pull this shit.

miccio (miccio), Monday, 3 January 2005 21:30 (twenty years ago)

Or at least buybacks.

xpost:
Surely they could all have audiscrobble hookups and you could then go to any bar without leaving the comforting womb of ILM.

Ken L (Ken L), Monday, 3 January 2005 21:30 (twenty years ago)

Gag title for a jukebox-based country song that I will never be able to finish: "A2, Brutus."

Ken L (Ken L), Monday, 3 January 2005 22:49 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, Miccio is right, wtf? I have never had this happen to me in my entire life. Either I have flawless taste in music that all people in the world agree with peacefully (HAHAHAHAHAHA) or I've never been to a bar that has decided to give the barstaff powers to fuck the jukebox denizens.

Allyzay Needs Legs More (allyzay), Monday, 3 January 2005 22:54 (twenty years ago)

You lucky, Ally. I remember one place where the barkeep would do this little move of wiping his hands on a rag while apparently hitting some secret dial that inched down the jukebox volume.

Ken L (Ken L), Monday, 3 January 2005 22:57 (twenty years ago)

The establishment this took place in was popularly known, oddly enough, as the Radio Bar. a.k.a. the Tile Bar.

Ken L (Ken L), Monday, 3 January 2005 22:58 (twenty years ago)

If a bartender ever skipped my song selection, I would either get my money back or get kicked out trying.

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 3 January 2005 23:06 (twenty years ago)

This was my first encounter with such a practice. There's nothing more irritating than some frat kid appointing himself as the barometer of good taste and then robbing you of two bucks in the process.

darin (darin), Monday, 3 January 2005 23:07 (twenty years ago)

you shoulda peed on the floor!

blount, Monday, 3 January 2005 23:10 (twenty years ago)

and unless the bartender actually knows you and is doing this just to fuck with you (in which case - laffs mirth etc) this is clearly dud. if you don't want it played don't make it available on the jukebox, if you don't want to work at a place that plays 'sister ray' or whatever the fuck on the jukebox i'm pretty sure jocks and jills or whatever the fuck is hiring.

blount, Monday, 3 January 2005 23:13 (twenty years ago)

"Jocks and Jills" sounds like a lesbian masturbation club.

The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 3 January 2005 23:15 (twenty years ago)

White bartenders don't like ODB, I have learned.

And they don't like loud, vulgar skits either.

Carl Winslow is WHAT!?!? (deangulberry), Monday, 3 January 2005 23:20 (twenty years ago)

Peeing on the floor didn't cross my mind, but one of my friends suggested we "accidently" drop out pint glasses on the floor as retribution. I nixed the idea, feeling as though I'd regressed enough for one evening. Maybe I should have taken him up on the idea...

darin (darin), Monday, 3 January 2005 23:23 (twenty years ago)

The worst thing is waiting around for the damn song to come on and maybe even having another drink there better had elsewhere only to be cheated like that in front of your face, as it were.

Ken L (Ken L), Monday, 3 January 2005 23:27 (twenty years ago)

I met a fellow in my freshman year of college whose family owned a place with a jukebox, and they kept it stocked with whatever was the most popular music available (i.e. what would pull the most cash into the machine from the general public). In his dorm room, he had a shard of a 7" nailed to his bulletin board, and I, the avid record collector asked him what had happened to it (figuring it must be an important record and/or story if he kept the shard and displayed it). As it turned out, he kept the shard as a reminder of a particularly harrowing summer when a certain single was played far too often and began to drive him and his family nuts. When the interest in that record had sufficiently died down, the family took it out back and destroyed it.

Apparently the vinyl on his bulletin board was a fragment of "Baby Got Back."

martin m. (mushrush), Monday, 3 January 2005 23:28 (twenty years ago)

(Today I'm focused on making my posts only marginally related to the topic at hand.)

martin m. (mushrush), Monday, 3 January 2005 23:29 (twenty years ago)

I used to torture the staff and patrons of a restaurant/bar I worked at with endless repeats of "Po' Lazarus" (the chain-gang song field recording near the top of the O Brother S/T) because no one knew how to skip songs or reset it aside from unplugging the machine.

It was cruel, but it was preferable to the mix of Dave Mathews and Pat Green that made up the rest of the jukebox.

milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Monday, 3 January 2005 23:40 (twenty years ago)

that's pretty funny

blount, Monday, 3 January 2005 23:42 (twenty years ago)

xpost:
Preferable to Pat Green? What's a matter, buddy, are you one of those purist old-country-music dinosaurs that rear their ugly heads 'round these parts ever oncst in a while?

Ken L (Ken L), Monday, 3 January 2005 23:43 (twenty years ago)

I was in a bar in Norway once, and strangely enough, whatever I played on the jukebox came out the Beatles.

Ken L (Ken L), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 00:20 (twenty years ago)

I was in a bar one time where the Patrick Swayze song, "She's Like The Wind" came on. I got up and loaded "Crazy Train" and some early Soundgarden stuff and the like. "Crazy Train" came on and they skipped it. About a half hour later Patrick Swayze came on again. I realized I should have left the second I heard Swayze the first time. I still have nightmares.

rat, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 23:04 (twenty years ago)

if you don't want it played don't make it available on the jukebox, if you don't want to work at a place that plays 'sister ray' or whatever the fuck on the jukebox i'm pretty sure jocks and jills or whatever the fuck is hiring.

OTM.

jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 23:32 (twenty years ago)

two years pass...

I had a bartender respond to my playing "Fairytale of New York" by UNPLUGGING the juke.

Dr Morbius, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 15:53 (seventeen years ago)

So that's where Adam Ant's gone!

Mark G, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 15:55 (seventeen years ago)

Hasn't happened to yet, but this reminded me of the time I went into a takeout joint to grab an order of fish and chips. Everyone in the place looked sooooo sour, so I went to the jukebox and ordered 10 plays (only a dime each at the time) of "Jingle Bells" by the Singing Dogs.
I bolted the place before I heard the barking.

Jazzbo, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 16:05 (seventeen years ago)

I did something similar at a bar that had a free jukebox; I put on "Revolution 9" 10 times and split.

Sara Sara Sara, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 16:06 (seventeen years ago)

"NO YOU FUCKING DON'T - THAT'S SUPERFLY AND YOU'RE FUCKING PLAYING IT!!!!"

I'm getting that on a t-shirt.

Sara Sara Sara, Tuesday, 13 November 2007 16:06 (seventeen years ago)

that hasn't happened to me before (although I must say it's asking to get an ass whoopin' pulling crap like that, especially if you paid to hear the songs)....

...but I do remember on one occasion bringing our (my bro and I's) boombox backstage to the dressing room of a theatrical show I was in only to have some doofus hijack it to play his EVERCLEAR cds for the next hour...then I put in my copy of The Haunted's self-titled album and by TRACK #2 the dude complains that he feels like he's been listening to 'hardcore' music for the last hour and a half.

Bo Jackson Overdrive, Wednesday, 14 November 2007 03:40 (seventeen years ago)

I did something similar at a bar that had a free jukebox; I put on "Revolution 9" 10 times and split.

haha - yeah an old mate of mine from university claims he used to do this everytime he was about to leave (some bar in Glasgow). the thought of it still cracks me up.

sam500, Wednesday, 14 November 2007 06:43 (seventeen years ago)

you shoulda peed on the floor!

-- blount

In college one time the bartender at the frat bar in town (who am I kidding, they were ALL frat bars) nixed "Folsom Prison Blues" when my friend and I put it on (and Walk the Line had come out and everything, so we thought it was a fairly political choice). When we gave him a WTF his reasoning was, and I can still hear him say this, "it killed the mood." And he wouldn't give me us our money back. So my friend stormed off into the bathroom and hosed the place down. He came back to our table grinning like an idiot and went "Maybe we should move on to another bar."

adamj, Wednesday, 14 November 2007 09:46 (seventeen years ago)

four years pass...

http://6thfloor.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/04/12/bartender-rock-extended-playlist/

sockless in moccasins (jaymc), Saturday, 21 April 2012 15:15 (thirteen years ago)

^The thing is, I kind of get this as an amorphous "genre" but I don't know that I would ever have thought to call it "bartender rock," even though I can think of a couple bars with jukeboxes filled with stuff exactly like this.

Actually, it's also kind of lit-rock, isn't it? Like this is all music that Nick Hornby and Jonathan Lethem and Sarah Vowell are into. When I went to an anniversary party for The Believer a few years ago, the special guest was Jonathan Richman.

sockless in moccasins (jaymc), Saturday, 21 April 2012 15:37 (thirteen years ago)


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