Britney Spears "Mona Lisa"

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Seriously, it sounds like Britney hired the Residents to process her voice. I'm beginning to doubt she's actually on these records anymore.. The live shows will just be her lip-syncing these songs on stage and dancing around a lot.

― donut christ (donut), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 19:47 (twenty years ago)

How does that differ from her previous live shows?

― polyphonic (polyphonic), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 19:54 (twenty years ago)

She'll have to be made into choreographed fluorescent animation cells that resemble either Eyeballs or the Chipmunks.

― donut christ (donut), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 19:55 (twenty years ago)

Sounds like "Cry Me a River".

― ana (ana), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 19:56 (twenty years ago)

well a few notes of "Cry Me A River" + 7 half steps digital pitch effects + 8-bit granular processing.

― donut christ (donut), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:01 (twenty years ago)

for those who haven't heard it:

http://www.worldofbritney.net/Britney_Spears-Mona_Lisa.mp3

― ana (ana), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:05 (twenty years ago)

is there a non kiis rip of this? is everyone sure alvin from the chipmunks didn't get signed to beat club?

― firstworldman (firstworldman), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:07 (twenty years ago)

"We've replaced Britney Spears with a brain-eating zombie hooked up to a helium container!"

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:08 (twenty years ago)

You mean there's a difference?

― Leon the Fratboy (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:09 (twenty years ago)

Is this a posthumous duet with Nat King Cole?

― Huk-L, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:09 (twenty years ago)

She should take a truth-and-advertising pill and retitle the song "Open-Ass Sandwich With A Side Of Suck".

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:10 (twenty years ago)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v352/morganzola/brit.jpg

― Leon the Fratboy (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:11 (twenty years ago)

http://img99.exs.cx/img99/5765/aint-1.jpg

― Leon the Fratboy (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:11 (twenty years ago)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v352/morganzola/untitled.bmp

― Leon the Fratboy (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:11 (twenty years ago)

She should take a truth-and-advertising pill and retitle the song "Open-Ass Sandwich With A Side Of Suck".

Best Anal Cunt songtitle yet.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:14 (twenty years ago)

This is the worst Erykah Badu song ever. I feel like I should buy every one of her albums before I listen to this again.

― m1cc1o, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:16 (twenty years ago)

http://music.netnam.vn/newsimgs/11_2_2003/britney2.JPG

― Leon the Fratboy (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:18 (twenty years ago)

I thought this was a joke done by a bad impersonator? Holy shit.

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:23 (twenty years ago)

"My band, we didn't use ProTools or anything with it. It's all live. There's a lot of stuff you can do to make it better. It's going to get better. It will get better — this is a really, really rough mix."

― Leon the Fratboy (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:23 (twenty years ago)

fred sez: "next time I'll fall in love with a tree!"

actually i have to buy every Nelly Furtado album too. and this ain't gonna happen

― m1cc1o, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:27 (twenty years ago)

There's a lot of stuff you can do to make it better. It's going to get better. It will get better

I sense a theme.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:27 (twenty years ago)

The hilarious thing is that the bridge contains the best singing I've ever heard her do! Float that high note, Brit! That's more like it- OH GOD STOP BELTING ARGH MY EARS ARE BLEEDING!!!!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:29 (twenty years ago)

Wow. It's like she can't decide if she's trying to be Blu Cantrell or the Wiki-Wiki voice in some old Newcleus song.

― Drew Daniel (Drew Daniel), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 21:08 (twenty years ago)

Warblemouth.

― Captain GRRRios' Giggletits (Barima), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 21:09 (twenty years ago)

kevin probably used his shoe laces for autoerotic asphyxiation purposes on brit brit.

― stevie nixed (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 21:19 (twenty years ago)

f'in finally! I've been waiting for her to cover Slick Rick for ages!

― David Allen (David Allen), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 21:31 (twenty years ago)

reminds me of "village ghetto land"!

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 21:32 (twenty years ago)

http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1495275/01032005/spears_britney.jhtml

― Al (sitcom), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 22:31 (twenty years ago)

I like the "It's Gonna Be Me" comparison because it's so desperate and sad.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 22:32 (twenty years ago)

this is just godawful. did anyone else catch the 2 seconds of funk bass before "you hit the freakin' wall"?

― Mackey, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 22:37 (twenty years ago)

The "Just Lose It" of 2005.

― Mr. Snrub, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 22:41 (twenty years ago)

It's the 'Manos' the Hands of Fate of 2005.

― Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 22:44 (twenty years ago)

Leon OTM!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 22:46 (twenty years ago)

I like when she references Madonna for the choir during the break. Clever idea. The production in the chorus sounds like My Prerogative more than anything else, I think, though it's less effective.

Still, she shows good ambition. Maybe'll it'll be more listenable if they run her through Autotune here and there. And use more inventive production. And do other things too.

― Atnevon (Atnevon), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 01:10 (twenty years ago)

Really, there isn't so much an "autotune" problem as much as there is a "vocal timbre of a constipated goose" problem. I don't know of a machine that can fix that.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 01:23 (twenty years ago)

Of course it can. Machines can do anything.

― Atnevon (Atnevon), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 01:37 (twenty years ago)

this song will win P&J '05, I can tell already.

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 01:39 (twenty years ago)

Cameo's Larry Blackmon has a time machine! He's gone back to 1903, reproduced, raised the child up to be a flapper and when 1927 hit he brought her back to the present day! Stab me in the eardrum with a Phillips head screwdriver!

The idea of Britney at 30 has given me more laffs in the past year than anything Ben Stiller's been in.

― What's this place, Biblevania? (natepatrin), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 01:43 (twenty years ago)

My band, we didn't use ProTools or anything with it. It's all live.

Then I guess she's not part of the band?

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 01:53 (twenty years ago)

This is unbelievable! Britney aspires to Gwen Stefani's songwriting technique, pseudo Timbo hooks and Princess Superstar's vocal intonation!

This is dumb as a box of rocks and while I don't ever want to hear it EVER AGAIN, I really like it!

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 02:06 (twenty years ago)

He's gone back to 1903, reproduced, raised the child up to be a flapper and when 1927 hit he brought her back to the present day!

See, I'm tellin' ya, the secret influence on this thing is Disco Tex's "Shirley Wood."

It's the 'Manos' the Hands of Fate of 2005.

Then WHERE ARE MY ROBOTS?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 02:18 (twenty years ago)

I like when she references Madonna for the choir during the break.

first thing i thought was destiny's child.

― Turkey versus Eagle, McCauley is my Beagle (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 02:28 (twenty years ago)

It's mediocre but not as horrifying as anyone's making it out to be. I don't think it's good! Anyway, I thought she retired.

Anthony, are you talking about the lyrics re: Badu?

― Matos W.K. (M Matos), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 02:49 (twenty years ago)

xp Ned: more like Dr. Buzzard's Original We Fucked Up and Forgot to Practice Our Vocal Scales Band

― What's this place, Biblevania? (natepatrin), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 02:57 (twenty years ago)

(I'd hate this less if it were Stefani, but that is mostly because Stefani does not walk around malls wearing sweatpants that say "JUICY" across the ass)

― What's this place, Biblevania? (natepatrin), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 02:58 (twenty years ago)

xp Ned: more like Dr. Buzzard's Original We Fucked Up and Forgot to Practice Our Vocal Scales Band

A vision.

(I'd hate this less if it were Stefani, but that is mostly because Stefani does not walk around malls wearing sweatpants that say "JUICY" across the ass)

That's only an accident of time and place, I suspect.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 02:59 (twenty years ago)

I'm sure hers say something more whimsically post-retro, such as "NICE GAMS"

― What's this place, Biblevania? (natepatrin), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 03:02 (twenty years ago)

I love it.

Extra good bits: the choir. Also, "OH NO!".

― edward o (edwardo), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 03:09 (twenty years ago)

Extra good bits: the choir. Also, "OH NO!".

I agree they're extra good -- but they're the ONLY good parts for me, I have to say. They're moments of polite insanity where I favor the complete dementia on that one song on the Xtina album which I can never remember the title of (had the mariachi horn section, I seem to recall).

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 03:24 (twenty years ago)

"Make Over"?

She's surely keeping something seismic and bonkers back for the actual single, you'd imagine. It may be is a bit Cinderella/Lucky redux, but I like the creeping bizareness of it.

― edward o (edwardo), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 03:29 (twenty years ago)

"Make Over"?

That was it, yes.

She's surely keeping something seismic and bonkers back for the actual single

I think one's belief in that commendable idea coming true here goes part and parcel with what one thinks of Ms. Spears' work in the first place (so in my case, not much).

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 03:31 (twenty years ago)

Well, she's keeping back "Oops!" Part II, just for you, Ned.

(NB: If you're reading, Britney, please MAKE THIS HAPPEN)
(Also NB: If you're reading, Britney, COVER "Burning Up" already)

― edward o (edwardo), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 03:33 (twenty years ago)

Well, she's keeping back "Oops!" Part II, just for you, Ned.

I'm more than fine with that! Bring back that bassline!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 03:35 (twenty years ago)

Actually, apart from another "Oops"/"Baby One More Time", and a "Burning Up" cover, here's my wishlist for Britney's next album:

1. This time, Britney, when Brian Higgins calls your people, have them, say "yes". You can't afford to turn down another "Graffiti My Soul". Actually, if GA aren't going to put it out as a single, she may as well do it anyway - more Americans need to hear it.

2. No more with Bloodshy & Avant. "Do Somethin'" is great, as was "Toxic", obviously, but they don't strike me as being able to reliably deliver the goods.

3. MORE, not less, songs about wanking. Turn off "Like A Prayer" and put on "Erotica" for inspiration.

4. Duet with JC Chasez, produced by Basement Jaxx.

5. If any more "character" songs, please ones not so obviously about Britney herself. More like "Brave New Girl".

6. Another neo-disco, shimmering ray of fuzzy love like "Anticipating".

― edward o (edwardo), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 03:42 (twenty years ago)

Is she really singing "She was a legend-al" in the chorus?

― Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 03:52 (twenty years ago)

a legend THOUGH

― Turkey versus Eagle, McCauley is my Beagle (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 04:31 (twenty years ago)

A legend-AH!

Britney sings "Leave the Capital" = the world achieves a new state of grace.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 04:33 (twenty years ago)

By then, her voice will sound like the evil witch voice from Ghostbusters and make Mark E. Smith sound like Kermit the Frog.

― donut christ (donut), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 04:35 (twenty years ago)

Wait, he doesn't already?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 04:37 (twenty years ago)

― donut christ (donut), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 04:44 (twenty years ago)

(You are not playing along and I cry.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 04:45 (twenty years ago)

It's not easy being green-ah!

― Steely Zan (AaronHz), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 05:22 (twenty years ago)

I'm suddenly in the mood for a Fall album of Britney Spears covers.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 05:55 (twenty years ago)

"I'm-ah slave-ah for you
Ah...Hanseatic roadtest pressman."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 06:08 (twenty years ago)

it strikes me that in some bizarre way Britney might think that allowing the public to hear her shonky demos first makes her more 'authentic' or something. Strange girl. This could be a great song if they made changes to her voice and the production and the beat, and I'm sure they will. At the moment it's like a really slow, lurching version of "Overprotected".

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 09:19 (twenty years ago)

This could be a great song if they made changes to her voice and the production and the beat

Hahaha! "This would be great if they redid the whole thing."

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 13:07 (twenty years ago)

I like when she references Madonna for the choir during the break.
first thing i thought was destiny's child.

It's kinda hard to hear, but she whispers "God" somewhere in the middle of the choir. Like the intro to Like A Prayer.

Sounds better for me now. I kinda like it.

― Atnevon (Atnevon), Friday, 7 January 2005 22:35 (twenty years ago)

How does it compare to Britney's cover of Funkadelic's "Red Hot Mama"

― Ken L (Ken L), Friday, 7 January 2005 22:39 (twenty years ago)

My band, we didn't use ProTools or anything with it. It's all live.
Then I guess she's not part of the band?

-- MindInRewind (brune...), January 5th, 2005.

What she's implying is, "Don't worry, we will."

The song would make a little (not a lot) more sense (what do I mean "more"?) if it didn't have those obligatory lines that she has to sing while staring directly and "soulfully" into the camera during the video, as if to say "This line is really about me."

And every instance of "HUH!" makes me laugh. Or start to, until I realize how awful it is.

― Rick Massimo (Rick Massimo), Friday, 7 January 2005 22:58 (twenty years ago)

"A legend-AH!"

shes taken vocal lessons from james hetfield?

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 7 January 2005 23:04 (twenty years ago)

"We've replaced Britney Spears with a brain-eating zombie hooked up to a helium container!"
-- The Ghost of Dan Perry (djperr...), January 4th, 2005.
wasn't that how they got courtney love ?

― lourtney cove, Saturday, 8 January 2005 16:41 (twenty years ago)

Well, it doesn't suck as bad as that godawful Bobby Brown cover. And she at least sounds like she gives a shit about her vocals.

― Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Saturday, 8 January 2005 16:59 (twenty years ago)

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