Oh ... My ... Gawd ... Ashlee Simpson on TV (Again, and Again)

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so i've now seen ashlee singing live in tv twice in the past week, on the new year's eve regis-pretends-he's-dick-clark thingy, and just a few minutes ago at halftime of the orange bowl. i like her singles, like 'em a lot in fact, but her singing, live, is about a bad a thing as i've ever seen on tv. and not bad in the good way, either. both times she appeared to be singing entirely live, with a backup singer doubling her voice in place of the backing track you would normally expect in these situations (they showed the backup singer on new year's eve; i assumed her presence at the orange bowl). obviously, she feels compelled to prove she's not lip-syncing anymore ... and what better way to prove it than to sing horrendously off-key? but are we going to be subjected to this for the rest of ashlee simpson's career?

the new year's eve thing wasn't live; it was taped in advance. so she could easily have fixed her performance in post-production, but for whatever reason she chose not to (leading me to believe she's overcompensating to prove she's actually singing). at least the audience there was kind enough to clap for her when she was done. at the orange bowl, if i was hearing my tv correctly, she was roundly booed.

it was an embarrassing half-time show, with technical fuck-ups, bad performances and bad editing throughout; it looked like abc, scared of giving a bigtime half-time show over to mtv in the wake of last year's super bowl, instead hired a cable access producer to do it. but ashlee was so bad she transcended even that in her badness.

so can she ever stop? can she go back to lip-syncing? can she at least get auto-tune in her live rig? or is she forced to do this forever as penance for her saturday night not-so-live performance?

or is she more punk than i'll ever be and should i be praising her bravery for all of this?

― fact checking cuz (fcc), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 03:45 (twenty years ago)

o yeah she was booed when they said her name in the lineup and booed again after she played. and she did suck almost as bad as the sooners.

― blount, Wednesday, 5 January 2005 03:47 (twenty years ago)

No one in the stadium is sucking as bad as the Sooners right now.

(but Ashlee came the closest)

― Johnny Fever (johnny fever), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 03:49 (twenty years ago)

and p.s. was that kelly clarkson rock song, which opened the orange bowl half-time show, as good as i think it was? don't think i'd ever heard it before. the live performance sucked, starting with her microphone appearing to be dead, followed by a guy saying "check one, check two" over the PA as the song was nearing the first chorus, and then finally by kelly coming in, accompanied by a taped double of her own voice, and doing a really bad job of singing along with herself. to top it off, some guy in her band added some egregious -- and egregiously loud -- harmonies in the final chorus.

but the song! it sounded exactly like what i thought liz phair's pop album -- which i have also never heard -- was supposed to sound like. tough, sassy, catchy as hell, with a rousing chorus worthy of scandal or maybe even heart.

― fact checking cuz (fcc), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 03:50 (twenty years ago)

yeah on the 'is chuck eddy stupid?' thread i said it sounded like sleater-kinney thru the first verse, i'm curious to hear it

sweet jesus this ain't an orange bowl, this is genocide!

― blount, Wednesday, 5 January 2005 03:52 (twenty years ago)

oops, i didn't get the memo that informed everybody that the village voice thread had turned into the official orange bowl thread.

― fact checking cuz (fcc), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 04:01 (twenty years ago)

What was with the anarchy symbol on the oversized prop kick drum for all three halftime acts? I could maybe see the USC Marching Band overthrowing the US government, but not kelly clarkson, ashlee simpson or that country dude.

― Johnny Ironic, Wednesday, 5 January 2005 04:34 (twenty years ago)

there were also cheerleaders. none of them had pit hair, though.

― maura (maura), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 05:47 (twenty years ago)

you gotta go to the motor city bowl for that

― blount, Wednesday, 5 January 2005 05:48 (twenty years ago)

Where have you been, fcc? It's since morphed again to become the Who Took Their Driving Test Latest In Life? thread.

― Ken L (Ken L), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 05:53 (twenty years ago)

does anyone have a link or video of this orange bowl performance? id like to see it. i still have the SNL show on my computer, i watch it every other day and just laugh and laugh.

― JD from CDepot, Wednesday, 5 January 2005 06:07 (twenty years ago)

I saw the Orange Bowl performance. Her outfit was really bad. It was like this black thing with a cut for her belly to hang out through. And her guitarists are really annoying and play really annoying chords that don't sound good at all.

She was really trying to make it work, I'll give her that. She was running all over the stage, and bending back and screaming. Then it cut to a close up of her smiling face and the boos started coming and it was really embarassing.

― David Allen (David Allen), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 13:51 (twenty years ago)

FCC: Yeah, the Kelly Clarkson song is not that bad. Here's a stirring defense.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 14:29 (twenty years ago)

www.lipsync.us

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 15:22 (twenty years ago)

My first Ashlee Simpson experience was a live show in May. It was on an impromptu second stage, and in retrospect they probably fought like hell to go on the main stage so she could use her vocal tracks. She couldn't sing a freaking note.

When will she go away?

― Rick Massimo (Rick Massimo), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 17:27 (twenty years ago)

re: "since you've been gone," maura thinks the verses sound like an Interpol track and she's dead on.

― miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 17:31 (twenty years ago)

Haha I didn't see this but APPARENTLY everyone in the ENTIRE stadium (USC fan or OK fan) booed Simpson after her performance! I mean EVERYONE. It almost makes me wish I hadn't jumped to The Simpsons (heh) during the halftime show.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 17:34 (twenty years ago)

I kind of feel bad for Ashlee because after watching her MTV show she seems mostly nice and harmless. (Not a big fan of the music, though.)

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 17:36 (twenty years ago)

yeah, it was awful. but i think kelly was WORSE! ashlee's totally getting shit on with this.

― Jams Murphy (ystrickler), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 17:40 (twenty years ago)

I'd feel bad for her, but then I remember that she (or maybe her dad) is getting paid a lot more money than I am and I think better of it.

Yancey, but how was the country in between them? Does he deserve kudos or boo-dos?

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 17:41 (twenty years ago)

how was the country guy, ahem.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 17:42 (twenty years ago)

trace adkins was just as bad. he wore a shit-eating grin the whole time. he tried to be all meta, but it didn't work. and wtf was up with the anarchy drum kit?!?!?!?

(i posted a defense of ashlee on the blog today, btw)

― Jams Murphy (ystrickler), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 17:48 (twenty years ago)

I don't really feel bad for her. If she can't sing she shouldn't be a fucking singer.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 17:51 (twenty years ago)

Booing is healthy. Ashlee Simpson wasn't the only person deserving of booing at the Orange Bowl. Far more worthy of booing was the corporate dweeb who gave away the glass football, told by his masters to recite he was awarding the title "on behalf of" all the cogs, turds, offices, and branches in his company.

Americans boo the wrong things. They boo a girl -- how bold -- when feckless slippery guys in suits are better targets for bad karma. How 'bout boos for every sportscaster who shilled for the corporate affiliation of the whatever bowl he was announcing? "I had the Outback Onion Flower at halftime. Boy, that was good!"

"Did you know Fed Ex is delivering packages to victims of the tsunami? And there'd be no Xmas without Fed Ex, they deliver 8 million boxes of gifts!"

Wouldn't you rather hear someone have the nerve to say: "I was trying to pat Jill Arrington's ass and she slapped me!"

― George Smith, Wednesday, 5 January 2005 18:26 (twenty years ago)

I justsaw on mpg and while her performance was amateurish it wasn't that much worse than the Destiny's Child and John Mellencamp performances I saw on T-giving. It must be impossible to try and connect with an audience when they're tens of yards away and you've got a ground war going on in between you.

― miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 18:31 (twenty years ago)

also Ashlee's voice seemed exceptionally high in the mix. And people only booed cuz they knew it was culturally accepted to do so. Bono could sing in the wrong key and call Bush a fag and they'd stay mum.

― miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 18:33 (twenty years ago)

ok maybe not the bush thing...we should try and find out!

― miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 18:34 (twenty years ago)

Bob Griese: "I just saw Will Farrell's 'Anchorman' and it was so funny I was laughing and yelling."

Some idiot: "Tell us, Shaq, will you be a tight end for Nick Saban?"

― George Smith, Wednesday, 5 January 2005 18:37 (twenty years ago)

miccio and george very very OTM about everything. everyone's voice was exceptionally high in the mix last night, except i think trace adkins', which if memory serves, was exceptionally low.

what fascinates me about ashlee's recent performances isn't how off they are -- and they have been very very off -- but the fact that she's explicitly choosing to be off. kelly clarkson has technical chops and a measure of real experience, and yet she had way more unseen technical help than ashlee did. ashlee is working without a net, without a wire, and without a floor, and she has to know she's going to fall.

― fact checking cuz (fcc), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 18:42 (twenty years ago)

Clarkson rocks my world.

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 19:42 (twenty years ago)

I mean, sometimes her singles are even hotter than her bootylicious-next-door look.

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 20:06 (twenty years ago)

Did you see Bjork at the Olympics? It was so incredible/bizarre.

― David Allen (David Allen), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 20:28 (twenty years ago)

I have access to a copy but I haven't watched it yet.

― miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 20:32 (twenty years ago)

miccio i'm pretty sure they booed her cuz they didn't like her!

― blount, Wednesday, 5 January 2005 20:33 (twenty years ago)

they very well may not have liked her but i think miccio has a point. people don't generally boo for entertainers they don't like, not in public anyway, not in this country. they're much more likely to yawn through the performance and then clap politely when it's over. a collective stadium boo like that takes no small degree of cultural pre-programming.

― fact checking cuz (fcc), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 20:39 (twenty years ago)

yeah but why did they not like her as opposed to every other wack-ass shitacular half-time special in history?

don't do something wack on SNL! Ask Sinead!

x-post

― miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 20:40 (twenty years ago)

booooooooo sports!

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 20:41 (twenty years ago)

yeah but why did they not like her as opposed to every other wack-ass shitacular half-time special in history?

Because they liked those!

Hell, I'll bet anything there's someone out there who really loved the Elvis Presto Super Bowl halftime show. Remember that?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 20:42 (twenty years ago)

yeah but the "people" are pretty rockist even when it comes to pop acts!

i repeat: boooooooooooooo sports!

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 20:45 (twenty years ago)

From Kelly Clarkson's 2002 Blender interview.

For Nabisco.

Blender: Underwear or no underwear.

Clarkson: I am commando girl. Why in the world would you want a little thing up your butt when you can go free?

Blender: When you were crowned American Idol on national TV, you weren't wearing underwear?

Clarkson: Nope. I swear, all my friends in Texas go commando too.

― miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 20:47 (twenty years ago)

don't mess with texans and their undergarments.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 20:48 (twenty years ago)

miccio who sez they liked other wackass halftime specials? the flack from this is nothing compared to what ja rule got!

― blount, Wednesday, 5 January 2005 20:52 (twenty years ago)

blame the wayans

― blount, Wednesday, 5 January 2005 20:52 (twenty years ago)

the flack from this is nothing compared to what ja rule got!

wow. i didn't know he did one (let alone got flack for it). good.

― miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 20:53 (twenty years ago)

yeah wasn't that Ja Rule one in Philly during the playoffs last year? him and ashante got booed big time....

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 20:54 (twenty years ago)

as if that isn't a culturally pre-programmed boo-fest!

― fact checking cuz (fcc), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 20:55 (twenty years ago)

they only booed santa claus cuz it was culturally acceptable to do so!

― blount, Wednesday, 5 January 2005 21:00 (twenty years ago)

philly's so cool

― blount, Wednesday, 5 January 2005 21:00 (twenty years ago)

ja rule got booed. justice is done. i take back my complaint.

― miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 21:01 (twenty years ago)

Don't they boo everything except serious injuries in Philly?

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 21:04 (twenty years ago)

yeah, as michael irvin can attest they cheer those.

― Jams Murphy (ystrickler), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 21:09 (twenty years ago)

I'm sure Kelly just goes commando cause with her squeezy booty and tight pants even a damn thong would give her panty lines.

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 21:12 (twenty years ago)

Can we go back in time to when I didn't just post that?

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 21:12 (twenty years ago)

I'm gonna boo nabisco now.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 21:13 (twenty years ago)

I will cheer him.

― Jimmy Mod always makes friends with women before bedding them down (ModJ), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 21:16 (twenty years ago)

somebody from Philly should throw snowballs at him.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 21:17 (twenty years ago)

squeezy booty

― miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 21:19 (twenty years ago)

The fuck is a "squeezy booty"?

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 21:23 (twenty years ago)

A FAT ASS, ALRIGHT.

― Jimmy Mod always makes friends with women before bedding them down (ModJ), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 21:31 (twenty years ago)

You guys are SO behind: Jess introduced "squeezy" like two years ago. I can't remember if it was for Kate Winslet or Christina Ricci, but yo.

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 21:33 (twenty years ago)

Winslet, i.e. 'you beautiful squeezy thing'

― Jimmy Mod always makes friends with women before bedding them down (ModJ), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 21:36 (twenty years ago)

i'm picturing nabisco as that whammy guy in anchorman going 'i'd like to put some barbecue sauce on that squeezy booty and just myaw myaw myaw'.

― blount, Wednesday, 5 January 2005 21:36 (twenty years ago)

you always picture that!

― Jams Murphy (ystrickler), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 21:38 (twenty years ago)

That's what I thought - but wouldn't a thong be more obscured by such a booty as it would be overwhelmed by her mighty bunz?

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 21:39 (twenty years ago)

Let's not start getting all realistic about this, now. MOVE THE DISCUSSION ONWARD.

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 21:45 (twenty years ago)

Thunder Bunz

― Jimmy Mod always makes friends with women before bedding them down (ModJ), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 21:48 (twenty years ago)

Right.

We were talking about girls going comando, right?

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 21:49 (twenty years ago)

Boooo the Ford car giveaway. Five cars to give away. Four contestants. In a land where people had a shred of decency, there would be a lottery and everyone would get, perhaps, one car of the five, with the winner getting two. But in the United States of Annoyica, the winner of the lucky key gets ALL FIVE cars! None for anyone else. Everyone needs FIVE NEW CARS! One is simply not enough!

With justice, van Pelt would have been lynched just for the purposes of mental health, even though he was just the public TV flunky.

Booing Ashlee Simpson when there were so many other obvious instances of people richly deserving of beatings is just symptomatic of a stadium of middle and upper class nincompoops.

― George Smith, Wednesday, 5 January 2005 22:59 (twenty years ago)

two months pass...

has anyone watched ashlee's show on mtv? apparently her monitor feed wasnt working.

― maria tessa sciarrino (theoreticalgirl), Sunday, 13 March 2005 18:30 (twenty years ago)

apparently she has more excuses than I have either toes, teeth, or hairs on my head.

― nader (nader), Sunday, 13 March 2005 18:38 (twenty years ago)

you have toes on your head?

― mark p (Mark P), Sunday, 13 March 2005 18:55 (twenty years ago)

And a hair named Ashlee up me bum.

― nader (nader), Sunday, 13 March 2005 20:30 (twenty years ago)

i basically like ashlee, her singles trumping her live disasters in my book. but i just caught the first of the two-part episode of her mtv show dealing with her orange bowl performance, and jesus christ, as nader was trying to say, she made more excuses than there are grains of sand in the universe. she should either just shut up, or acknowledge the disaster and move on. every time she makes an excuse, or blames someone who isn't her, she loses two points. didn't she learn anything from the SNL disaster?

― fact checking cuz (fcc), Monday, 14 March 2005 02:24 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...

I don't need Viagra if I have some Ashlee Simpson images (preferably Brunette) ^___^

― Bring Me The Head of ESTEBAN BUTTEZ (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Sunday, 30 April 2006 05:34 (nineteen years ago)

"Why in the world would you want a little thing up your butt when you can go free?"

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Sunday, 30 April 2006 05:59 (nineteen years ago)

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