In praise of Crawling Chaos

According to Factory's January 1980 newsletter, the band promised to "open up a new genre of heavy modern. Three short-haired awkward types from Tyneside who are a cross between Status Quo and Orchestral Manoeuvres."

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The most memorable Crawling Chaos review followed an appearance at Factory's London showcase season at the Moonlight Club in April 1980. In the NME Adam Sweeting wrote: "They played so badly for so long that a phone call to McWhirter and his Book of Records would surely have been received favourably. Ineffectual doodlings on guitar and keyboards became ends in themselves. A guest singer stood at the microphone and coughed for several minutes. Nobody danced or even twitched a leg. The bloke at the mixing desk read the Evening Standard and someone next to me asked the time before falling asleep. Anyone who needs this garbage is probably already dead."

But I'm turning into an LTM completist and they reissued The Gas Chair and Homunculous Equinox and so I had to pick them up. And you know, far from being some sort of half-assed collection of nothingness, The Gas Chair, at least, is really friggin' good! It sorta reminds me of nothing so much as early Ween, with a slew of songs in different styles and often consciously ridiculous lyrics. So you've got "Harry," a folky singalong about how "Harry Secombe's coming to tea," and a wonderfully crazed psych/garage monster called "Arabesque" and some utterly goofball fake Irish song or something called "Guinness" and this and that and the other. Why was everyone complaining about them? Hell, I'm listening to this one 12 minute song called "Disierta Membra" right now and it could be either 1968 Pink Floyd or something taped at a Terrastock. Then there's the "Sex Machine" single which is a bonus on the CD, and it's hilarious -- Unrest covered it in an apparently Screamers-like style and it's easy to hear why, it's all distorted whines and beatboxes and dumbass lyrics about big balls.

I did find this bit about them as well:

They were from the villages of Seghill and Seaton Delaval in Northumberland, England. The first gig was during morning break at Astley High School, Seaton Delaval, in the main hall circa 1978. Every kid in school (600+) was allowed to attend. Although it was a very embryonic group they did sing "Throwing Pins". The singer was Paul Shields. The last gig took place at a Miners Welfare Hall in Bebside, Blyth, Northumberland in 1990 when they done a few songs, announced it was the end and walked off.

In the meantime they used to preview new material at the Working Mens Club In New Hartley, Northumberland, to a frankly astounded audience. They used the name Blonde Ethiopean Dance Troupe to do even odder numbers, as their own support band. Paul Shields would come on stage in skimpy shorts and body paintings that made him look like he was covered in ivy.

It has to be said that their live performances differed a lot from the recorded ones. They were a bit more audience friendly with some pretty sonic out and out punk songs. For instance, "sex machine" sounded like something from the first Clash LP.

They weren't particularly odd people though I recall the bassist lived in a disused church or something. I am sure that for a time, the drummer was Paul Gough (?) who also played for Marc Riley and the Creepers.

But apparently they were hated in the nation otherwise? So what's the story? Are there actually other fans? Will Dr. C explain all?