what's been the best record-store clerk reaction you've encountered, either buying or selling?

Him: Want a Strokes single? (brandishes about 20 copies of one of the Room on Fire 7"s)
Me: No thanks, I already have it.
Him: Um. OK, how about Travis*?
Me: Um. No.
Him (increasingly bemused at himself, me, and the overall futility of the situation): OK, how about the Stereophonics*?
Me: (awkward laughter)

*may not have been actual shitty Britpop band. I just know it was a shitty Britpop band.

Being the only customer in the store at the moment, she proceeded to lock the front door, turned the open sign around, threw "Dizzy Up the Girl" in the cd player, cranked it way up, hit it up to track number 8, "All Eyes on Me" and hastily stripped off all her clothes. Then she started spinning around and around while I stared bemused and very much entranced.

When the song was over she tried to walk over to me, but in her dizzy state she fell over several times before reaching me, knocking over a couple of cd displays in the process. All she said when she got to me was, "Can I be your Goo Goo Doll?" With lust burning in my eyes I said, "You had me at, I like to get Dizzy."

The next half hour or so was a blur of wild sex, wrecked cd displays, and Goo Goo Dolls blasting over the store's speaker system.

Didn't end up buying the cd, decided the best songs were overplayed on the radio and the rest was crap, but had a good time listening to it while at the store.

We actually had a client in our shop who would fart pretending nothing happened.

I don't know if I was happy or felt like running away. When I was in my No Wave/Punk period, the guy (of the now closed recordshop) said:"Woha! You have exactly the same taste like I did years ago." Later he would always compliment me on my *broad taste* in music.

At the time, of course, Billy Bragg was one of my absolute favorites.

"Son, can I be honest with you?"
"Yes"
"You are buying too much music."

The cashier nearly burst out laughing and felt like saying something mean but I just walked away rolling my eyes.

1. upon learning that I was buying my first Kraftwerk album ever (Trans-Europe Express) laid out which of their albums I should check out next
2. asked me where I found the copy of 600% Dynamite I was buying, which led into a quick conversation about Jamaican music, odds-n-sods comps, and A Certain Ratio
3. generally treated me like a soldier home on furlough from the War on Tedious Music

I cannot begin to imagine how many times this poor sweet girl has been propositioned by scraggly ironically-shirted clove-smokers. I mean I'm as respectful/cowardly as they come in these situations and even I had a hard time not sinking to one knee when she brought up ACR. Indie record stores and video rental places must be the direst jobs imaginable for cute girls.

"Next please...

"Can you put you number in here?...

"The receipt's in the bag".

Feckin' HMV. I would love a bit of 'High Fidelity' record store clerk attitude, once, just once.

I went up to the rather lovely black girl cashier, used my charming little boy smile and a warm 'hi'. She smiled back slightly, looked down at my purchase and the smile disappeared. She proceeded to complete the transaction without one further moment of communication.

I was slightly bemused by this and walked out of Tower mulling over whether I was losing my touch, when I pulled out the CD I has just purchased and found the answer staring me in the face: "Big Black Songs About Fucking" in large letters.

I never knew whether she was just touchy or assumed I was hitting on her in a very oblique way.

Sometimes we are dicks without realising it!

Another time a cranky old lazy-eyed clerk got mad at me for using a debit card to buy a Jeff Buckley live disc. Apparently b/c I used the card he made less cash on the transaction. Nothing like being berated while giving a man your money.

My months-long haunting of the used CD "U" section is finally rewarded...

w00t! http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0000251KU.01._SCMZZZZZZZ_.jpg

Cool Amoeba Guy: Hmm. What's this? It looks cool.
rogermexico: Well, uh, it's, um, it's, like, late-80s dreamy pre-shoegaze goth-pop? It's this one guy. He, uh, put out some stuff in the 90s too. Kind of like JAMC/early MBV with more JG Ballard, and, er, fey dark romanticism and stuff.
CAG: It's a really cool cover.

The cashier looked at the door after they left and then looked at me. "I really wish you would've beat the shit out of that guy while you had the chance," he said.

Maybe you had to be there.

me: "hey man has anybody ever said you look like johnny thunders?"

batman: "what!(sputters)this IS johnny thunders you asshole..."

JT: "whoa...yeah...hahaha...y'allright man..."

me: "welcome to detroit motherfuckers"

working in a record store is like flying an airplane: long stretches of stultifying boredom broken by moments of terror and excitement.

I once got a phone number scrawled on a receipt when I came to the counter with Otis Redding, Cecil Taylor & Ride the Lightning.