Rockist Anthems

In which Kelly Jones whines on and on about being slagged off by a mere journalist who could obviously never play the kind of experimental prog-jazz that the Stereophonics have spent literally hours of practice to master. The twat.

"These go up to eleven."

Look, he could sing better than you and he had better songwriters, you mulleted Brummy twat.

You know this old world is full of singers
But just a few are chosen
To tear your heart out when they sing
Imagine life without them
All your, radio heros
Like the outlaw that walks through Jesse's dream

No, there will never be another
Red-headed stranger
A Man in Black and Folsom Prison Blues
The Okie from Muskogee
Or Hello Darling
Lord I wonder, who's gonna fill their shoes

(Chorus:)
Who's gonna fill their shoes
Who's gonna stand that tall
Who's gonna play the Opry
And the Wabash Cannonball
Who's gonna give their heart and soul
To get to me and you
Lord I wonder, who's gonna fill their shoes

God bless the boys from Memphis
Blue Suede Shoes and Elvis
Much too soon he left this world in tears
They tore up the Fifties
Old Jerry Lee and Charlie
And old Go Cat Go still echoes through the years

You know the heart of country music
Still beats in Luke the Drifer
You can tell when hew sings I Saw the Light
Old Marty, Hank and Lefty
Why I can feel them right here with me
On this Silver Eagle rolling through the night

Random lost souls have asked me
"What's the future of rock'n'roll?"
I say "I don't know does it matter?"
This and that scene,
They sound all the same to me
Neither much worse nor much better

[...]

Look at those cunts on MTV
With their cars, and cribs, and rings and shit
Is that what being a celebrity means?
Look, boys and girls, here's BBC
See corpses, rapes, and amputees
What do you think now of the American dream?

I don't think it can get much more rockist than this.

Nas decries "fake niggaz" in an attack on Al Jolson's previously unsuspected influence on Hip Hop.

Go ahead. Think of some other records from 1978. "Today's music ain't got the same soul."

Brilliant satire slags off the mediocrity of pop radio by making it worse.

Wherein Embrace correctly observe that the only reason people listen to contemporary R&B is because of the tenous link its name has to Bleeding Ass Hopkins.

("I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups all you do is annoy me / So I've been sent here to destroy you")

Kevin Rowland even makes Rockism sound beautiful. Surrenders half of royalties to Warren Zevon tho but. I've just remembered I was banging on about Northern Ireland last night in the pub.

Rich hippies moaning. Admit it, you love it, you slags.

In which The Official Biggest Twunt In Rock EVAH praises the Rockist way of life via the metaphor of endangering other motorists.

"You like to eat the rave drugs
You get more energy
You think it's worth the money
But we do not agree
We make pill of poison
With snuffing stimulants
Kompressor watch you die
Because Kompressor does not dance"

In which Mr Young single-handedly defines Rockocentrism. Pitiful fantasy of some kind of unmediated relationship between Artist, Art and Audience. Later used in a commercial for Wendy's.

Now Patti Smith: her every breath is a rockist anthem.

This letter is addressed to Mr. Pete Townsend,
Hey brother I'm writin' you sayin' thanks for nothing
your generation used up all the feelings
and if we Rock it looks like we're ripping you off

Hey mr. Jimi as write upon this page
my hands shake they shake with a delicate rage
My amplifier has no name
for all that it bleeds sounds derivative and mundane

To whom it may concern, all that Hendrix hath spurned
The Rockets red glare, the bombs bursting in air
My Fender is just a painted whore
and if I light it on fire I became such a fuckin' bore

Black Francis, black francis you were the last motherfucker ever
grabbing all the good stuff and leaving No Doubt
that if Rock n' roll dies it's not my fault
I do the best with the leftovers that I've got

...all of the juice had been sucked out
before Mel Bay taught his children to play
so as we climb upon the rotting corpse
stick it once again, see if the blood will c

Chuck Berrry, chuck berry
you wrote the only original song,
some white boys stole it
we all still sing along
Chuck Berry sing to us one more time
before Fred Bizkit freezes everybody's mind

30. Starship, "We Built This City"

Well, that's Bach fucked then.

Ethnic hair styles
Sloppy male hippies
Retro punks
People with thick glasses
Glorifying serial killers
Hobbit motherfuckers
No guts
No glory
No riot

ARGH
YAGH
I've had enough
My generation sucks
AUCK
YAGH
I agree
My generation sucks

Cyber idiots with pierced scrotums
Copulating
With animals
In cars
Parked ouside the rave party
Not enough war
Not enough famine
Not enough suffering
Not enough natural selection

ARGH
YAGH
That's what I say
My generation sucks
AUCK
YAGH
I've had enough
My generation sucks

You don’t have money or a fancy car
And you’re tired of wishin’ on a falling star
You gotta put your faith in a loud guitar

God gave rock and roll to you, gave rock and roll to you
Gave rock and roll to everyone (oh yeah)
God gave rock and roll to you, gave rock and roll to you
Put it in the soul of everyone

Now listen
If you wanna be a singer, or play guitar
Man, you gotta sweat or you won’t get far
Cause it’s never too late to work nine-to-five

You can take a stand, or you can compromise
You can work real hard or just fantasize
But you don’t start livin’ till you realize - I gotta tell ya!

God gave rock and roll to you, gave rock and roll to you
Gave rock and roll to everyone
God gave rock and roll to you, gave rock and roll to you
Put it in the soul

God gave rock and roll to you (to everyone he gave the song to be sung)
Gave rock and roll to you, gave rock and roll to everyone

God gave rock and roll to you (to everyone he gave the song to be sung)
Gave rock and roll to you, saved rock and roll for everyone
Saved rock and roll

I know life sometimes can get tough! and I know life sometimes can be a drag!
But people, we have been given a gift, we have been given a road
And that road’s name is... rock and roll!

I say its the ultimate rockist anthem.

But Mr. Henley is not going to listen to this voice, because if his blonde sweetie also has this voice inside her head, this sensible voice which embraces change and the future - and she does, because everyone does - Mr. Henley's "long game" is destined to die the sensible death it deserves, and although the names on the back of the uniforms will change, the boys of summer will continue to romp through blonde sweetie's ahem elysian fields in what we can only hope is perpetuity, or at least long enough to forget about this old trainspotter

Honorable mention: TCQ's 'Check the Rhyme'. "Rap is not pop if you call it that then stop"

in fact the whole "keep it real" admonition from about 92-95 wherever it popped up.

"Others say rhymes which fail to be original
or they kill where the hip-hop starts
Forget about the ghetto, and rap for the pop charts"

not so sure about that one. billy's not saying the "next phase," the "new wave," the "dance craze," the "hot funk" or the "cool punk" are bad. he's just saying they all sound like rock and roll to him. he decries not the sound, but the nomenclature. sounds pretty much like chuck e posting on ILM to me.

hits all the check marks:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSnTkx1ttrM