Replace the word "you" with "Jews" in assorted lyrics

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When I was at jew summer camp we used to play this game a lot. We were a sad lot. In any event:

"All Jews need is love, love... all Jews need is love..."
"Jews and me baby aint nothin but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel"

Now your turn to be an idiot!

― David Allen (David Allen), Monday, 7 February 2005 20:07 (twenty years ago)

how about blacks?

― oskar shindig! (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 7 February 2005 20:09 (twenty years ago)

It doesnt really rhyme. Well, actually you could do it in songs that have the word "shacks" probably.

― David Allen (David Allen), Monday, 7 February 2005 20:10 (twenty years ago)

ooh i know... burn victims!

― oskar shindig! (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 7 February 2005 20:11 (twenty years ago)

how about blacks?

If used to replace "back," the results could be...interesting, and potentially quite provocative. "Get black, Loretta!"

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 7 February 2005 20:11 (twenty years ago)

I actually used to do this a lot in late-high school/early college - I was never an anti-semite of any kind, but I just thought it sounded funny, and the less sense it made, the funnier I thought it was. "God Must Have Spent A Little More Time On Jews" comes to mind.

― billstevejim, Monday, 7 February 2005 20:13 (twenty years ago)

yeah, i know someone who sang "what i like about jews" a lot.

― oskar shindig! (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 7 February 2005 20:17 (twenty years ago)

The Fire In Which Jews Burn (Company Flow)

― A. Dolph, Monday, 7 February 2005 20:18 (twenty years ago)

Black in the USSR!

― miccio (miccio), Monday, 7 February 2005 20:21 (twenty years ago)

haha

― David Allen (David Allen), Monday, 7 February 2005 20:21 (twenty years ago)

"I Don't Care About Jews"
"I Want Jews Back"
"I Don't Wanna Walk Around with Jews"
"See Jews in Your Dreams"
"GirlJewsWant"
"I Wanna Destroy Jews"
"She's Calling Jews"
"With or Without Jews"

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 7 February 2005 20:22 (twenty years ago)

I think this particular substitution gets put in everyone's mind at some point by some singer whose particular inflections are already doing the heavy lifting. For me I think it was one of the guys from Imperial Teen. Particularly live. One of the songs from their first album wound up ending with a long refrain of "I like Jews, I like Jews, I like Jews."

The substitution is fun and non-creepy because like 98% of popular songs have strictly good things to say about "you." (Okay x-post you guys have managed to find some creepy ones.)

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 7 February 2005 20:23 (twenty years ago)

"I Never Promised Jews a Rose Garden"

― 57 7th (calstars), Monday, 7 February 2005 20:24 (twenty years ago)

"The Bed's Too Big Without Jews"
"Glad to see Jews Go"
"Drain Jews"

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 7 February 2005 20:24 (twenty years ago)

"Jews and Your Sister" - Chris Bell

― 57 7th (calstars), Monday, 7 February 2005 20:25 (twenty years ago)

"I Want Jews Black"

― peter smith (plsmith), Monday, 7 February 2005 20:27 (twenty years ago)

"Growing on Jews"

― 57 7th (calstars), Monday, 7 February 2005 20:27 (twenty years ago)

this sucks

― The Obligatory Sourpuss (Begs2Differ), Monday, 7 February 2005 20:28 (twenty years ago)

GETTING TO KNOW JEWS
GETTING TO LIKE JEWS

― he does guitar with his mouth lmao mint (ex machina), Monday, 7 February 2005 20:28 (twenty years ago)

Fuck It (I Don't Want Jews Black)

― peter smith (plsmith), Monday, 7 February 2005 20:29 (twenty years ago)

How do Jews do what they do to me
I wish I knew,
If I knew how Jews do it to me,
I'd do it to Jews

― Masked Gazza, Monday, 7 February 2005 20:29 (twenty years ago)

"Black in Black"

― peter smith (plsmith), Monday, 7 February 2005 20:30 (twenty years ago)

this thread is going to ruin songs for me.

I put "Happiness" by Superpitcher on a CD for a friend of mine and she said "it sounds like he's singing 'i want a penis'".

Ruined forever.

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 7 February 2005 20:30 (twenty years ago)

i always thought that about "im hurting inside" by BM and the wailers

― peter smith (plsmith), Monday, 7 February 2005 20:31 (twenty years ago)

this thread might make a decent seinfeld sketch though

― Masked Gazza, Monday, 7 February 2005 20:32 (twenty years ago)

when i was just a little child
a penis was there a while
then from me it slipped one day
a penis, come back i say

cause if you dont
ive got to go looking
for a penis

― peter smith (plsmith), Monday, 7 February 2005 20:32 (twenty years ago)

I'm being punished for all my offences
I wanna touch Jews but I'm afraid of the consequences.

You're really growing on me
(Or am I growing on Jews?)
You're really growing on me
(Or am I growing on Jews?)

I wanna shake Jews off but you just won't go
And you're all over me but I don't want anyone to know
That Jews're attached to me, that's how you've grown
Won't you leave me, leave me alone

You're really growing on me
(Or am I growing on Jews?)
You're really growing on me
(Or am I growing on Jews?)

― 57 7th (calstars), Monday, 7 February 2005 20:34 (twenty years ago)

"If I could fly/I'd pick Jews up/And take Jews into the night/And show Jews love like you've never seen..."

Wow. Sounds like a NMH/In The Aeroplane outtake.

― mike a, Monday, 7 February 2005 20:56 (twenty years ago)

Don't forget Edwyn Collins' first band, Orange Jews!

― mike a, Monday, 7 February 2005 20:58 (twenty years ago)

I don't know Jews
But I think I hate Jews
Jews are the reason for my misery
Strange how Jews have become my biggest enemy
And I've never even seen a Jew's face

Maybe it's just jealosy
Mixing up with a violent mind
A circumstance that doesen't make much sense
Or maybe I'm just dumb

Jews are the cloud hanging out over my head
Hail comes crashing down welting my face
Magic man, egocentric plastic man
Yet Jews still got on over on me

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 7 February 2005 21:10 (twenty years ago)

Jews Shook me All Night Long
Girl, Jews really got me now...
Who are Jews?
I Want Jews to Want Me
Looking Out for Jews (Daniel Lavoie)
Thank Jews
Long May Jews Run
Before Jews Accuse Me
Nothing Can Keep Me from Jews
Found Out About Jews
Til I Hear it from Jews
I Died for Jews
Blessed are Jews
I Was Made for Lovin Jews
Every Time I Look at Jews
Only Jews
Love Walked In - Embraceable Jews
I Believe in Jews
Are Jews ready for the Country?
Never Let 'Em C Jews Sweat
So I Have Jews
I Love Being Here with Jews
I'll Stand by Jews
We Will Rock Jews
Jews Gotta Move
Jews Can't Always Get What Jews Want
Jews Got Me Rockin
Worried About Jews
I Just Wanna Make Love to Jews
Wanna Hold Jews
Everything Jews Want
Why Would Jews Wanna Leave?

Black in Black (Sounds like a run-of-the-mill Porn)
Get Black

― Bryan Moore (Bryan Moore), Monday, 7 February 2005 21:23 (twenty years ago)

And not to be offensive,b ut I always thought "Dark Side of the Coon" was a great racist album title...

― Bryan Moore (Bryan Moore), Monday, 7 February 2005 21:28 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, this game has now been made creepy for me!

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 7 February 2005 21:29 (twenty years ago)

no no, not offensive at all.

― peter smith (plsmith), Monday, 7 February 2005 21:29 (twenty years ago)

not to destroy the entire premise of this thread, but shouldn't "you" be replaced with "jew" (singular)? you can replace "you'se" with jews, but you CAN NOT replace "you" with jews. it just doesn't work, not most of the time anyway. k thx bye.

― fact checking cuz (fcc), Monday, 7 February 2005 21:32 (twenty years ago)

Two weeks in a virginia jail
For my lover for my lover
Twenty thousand dollar bail
For my lover for my lover

And everybody thinks
That i’me the fool
But they don’t get
Any love from Jews

The things we won’t do for love
I’d climb a mountain if I had to
And risk my life so I could have Jews
Jews, Jews, Jews...

Everyday I’m psychoanalyzed
For my lover for my lover
They dope me up and I tell them lies
For my lover for my lover

I follow my heart
And leave my head to ponder
Deep in this love
No man can shake
I follow my heart
And leave my mind to wonder
Is this love worth
The sacrifices I make

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 7 February 2005 21:44 (twenty years ago)

"I Wanna Sex Jew(s) Up"

― noodle vague (noodle vague), Monday, 7 February 2005 21:46 (twenty years ago)

Best song ever to do this to?
London Beat - "I've Been Thinking About You"

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Monday, 7 February 2005 21:48 (twenty years ago)

Sometimes it sounds to me like:

"Metal Guru, is a jew"

This is one of the perils of gettin' all casual with the "it's you" / "itchyoo" sound.

― walter kranz (walterkranz), Monday, 7 February 2005 21:49 (twenty years ago)

I would. die for. Jews.

― ()ops (()()ps), Monday, 7 February 2005 21:53 (twenty years ago)

I'm in love with Jews girl 'cause Jews're on my mind,
Jews're the one I think about most every time.
And when Jews pack a smile in everything Jews do,
don't Jews understand, girl, this love is true.
Jews're soft, succulent so sweet and thin
that's kind of like a vision upon Jewsr skin.
It lightens up my day, and that's oh so true.
Together we're one separated we're two.
To make Jews all mine, all mine is my desire.
'Cause Jews contain a quality, Jews that I admire.
Jews're pretty plain and simple, Jews rule my world so try to understand.
I'm in love girl,
I'm in so love girl.
I'm just in love girl, and this is true.
Girl, Jews know it's true.
Ooh, Ooh, Ooh I love Jews.
Yes, Jews know it's true.
Ooh, Ooh, Ooh I love Jews.
Girl, Jews know it's true.
My love is for Jews.
Girl, Jews know it's true.
My love is for Jews.
This is some sort of thing, girl, I can't explain,
my emotions starts up when I hear Jewsr name.
Maybe Jewsr sweet sweet voice would ring in my ear,
then delay my system when Jews are near.
Come with Jewsr positive emotion, love, making enjoyin'
that's for me to bust it's like a girl and a boy.
These feelings I get I often wonder why,
so I thought I might discuss this, girl, just Jews and I.
Now what Jews're wearing I don't care, as I've said before,
no reason that I like Jews, girl, just for what Jews are.
If I said I'd think about it, Jews rule my world so try to understand.
I'm in love girl,
I'm in so love girl.
I'm just in love girl, and this is true.
Girl, Jews know it's true.
Ooh, Ooh, Ooh I love Jews.
Yes, Jews know it's true.
Ooh, Ooh, Ooh I love Jews.
Girl, Jews know it's true.
My love is for Jews.
Girl, Jews know it's true.
My love
Girl, Jews know it's true.
Ooh, Ooh, Ooh I love Jews.
Yes, Jews know it's true.
Ooh, Ooh, Ooh I love Jews.

― The Ghost of PWNAGE (Dan Perry), Monday, 7 February 2005 21:55 (twenty years ago)

Baby Jews don't know,what Jews do to me.
Between me and Jews, I feel a chemistry.
Won't let noone come and take your place.
Cause the love Jews give can't be replaced.
See noone else love me like Jews do.
That's why I don't mind to spend my life with Jews.
Wanna please Jews in any way I can.
Wanna share my world don't Jews understand.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Monday, 7 February 2005 22:07 (twenty years ago)

this is at least funny.
Can Jews Feel It?
Are Jews Experienced?

― zeus, Monday, 7 February 2005 22:08 (twenty years ago)

the best one:
Everything I Do, I Do It For Jews

― zeus, Monday, 7 February 2005 22:10 (twenty years ago)

JEWRAQT

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Monday, 7 February 2005 22:12 (twenty years ago)

hummm yeahhhhhhhh yeah
I've been waiting all day here for Jews babe
so won't cha come sit and talk to me
and tell me how we're gonna be together always
hope Jews know that when it's late at night
I hold on to my pillow tight
and think of how Jews promised me forever
(I never thought that anyone)(yeah) could make me feel this way
(now that Jews're here boy all I want) is just a chance to say eeey

get out (leave) right now
it's the end of Jews and me
it's too late (now) and I can't wait for Jews to be gone
cause I know, about her (who)
and I wonder (why)
how I bought all the lies
Jews said that Jews would treat me right
but Jews was just a waste of time(waste of time!)

tell me why Jews're looking so confused
when I'm the one who didn't know the truth
how could Jews ever be so cold?
to go behind my back and call my friend..
boy Jews must've gone and bumped Jews' head
because Jews left her number on Jews' phone
(so now after all is said and done)
maybe I'm the one to blame buttt
(to think that Jews could be the one)
well it didn't work out that way yyay

get out (leave!) right now
it's the end of Jews and me
it's too late (now) and I can't wait for Jews to be gone (Jews to be gone)
cause I know, about her (who)
and I wonder (why)
how I bought all the lies (all the lies)
Jews said that Jews would treat me right (Jews said that Jews)
but Jews was just a waste of time (waste of time)

I wanted Jews right here with me
but I have no choice, Jews've gotta leave
because my heart is breaking
with every word I'm saying,
I gave up everything I had
on something that just wouldn't last
but I refuse to cry
no tears will fall from these eyessss ohh ohhhh

get out!!

get out (leave) right now
it's the end of Jews and me (Jews and me)
it's too late (now) and I can't wait for Jews to be gone (Jews to be gone)
cause I know, about her (who)
and I wonder (why)
how I bought all the lies (how did buy all Jews' lies)
Jews said that Jews would treat me right (Jews said that Jews)
but Jews was just a waste of time (waste of time)

get out (leave) right now
it's the end of Jews and me (hey yeah)
it's too late (now) and I can't wait for Jews to be gone (Jews to be gone)
cause I know, about her (who)
and I wonder (why)
how I bought all the lies
Jews said that Jews would treat me right (treat me right)
but Jews was just a waste of time (ooh)

get out (leave)
(Jews and me)
it's too late (now)(too late) (Jews)
about her (who)(why)
Jews said that Jews would treat me right
but Jews was just a waste of time(waste of time) (ohh)

ohhhhhhhhhhhh

― This is that song by the white power preteens, yes? (Dan Perry), Monday, 7 February 2005 22:14 (twenty years ago)

how about blacks?

I endorse replacing the enn-word in the "clean" versions of hip hop and R&B songs with the word "ninja."

i.e. "Lil' Kim not a whore/ but I sex a ninja so good/ he gotta tell his boys."

― Jeff Reguilon (Talent Explosion), Monday, 7 February 2005 22:17 (twenty years ago)

I want to destroy jews by xAnal Boys/Soft Cuntx (straight outta Phoenix)

― Øystein (Øystein), Monday, 7 February 2005 22:17 (twenty years ago)

... And Jews Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Monday, 7 February 2005 22:18 (twenty years ago)

[Barbra]
Jew don't bring me flowers
Jew don't sing me love songs

[Neil]
Jew hardly talk to me anymore
When I come through the door at the end of the day...

[Barbra]
I remember when Jew couldn't wait to love me
Used to hate to leave me
Now after loving me late at night

[Neil]
When it's good for Jew, babe
And Jews are feeling all right

[Barbra]
When Jew just roll over and turn out the light...
And Jew don't bring me flowers anymore

[Neil]
It used to be so natural

[Barbra]
It used to be...

[Neil]
To talk about forever

[Barbara]
Mmm...

[Neil]
But used-to-bes don't count anymore
They just lay on the floor
Till we sweep them away

[Barbra]
And baby I remember all the things Jew taught me

[Neil]
I learned how to laugh and I learned how to cry

[Barbra]
Well, I learned how to love and I learned how to lie

[Neil]
So Jew think I could learn how to tell Jew goodbye

[Barbra]
So Jew think I could learn how to tell Jew goodbye
Jew don't bring me flowers any more...

[Both]
Well, Jew think I could learn how to tell Jew goodbye...

[Neil]
'Cause Jew don't say Jew need me

[Barbara]
Jew don't sing me love songs;

[Both]
Jew don't bring me flowers anymore...

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Monday, 7 February 2005 22:23 (twenty years ago)

I win because mine is a duet between Jews, and therefore, my choice is the only one that makes literal sense.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Monday, 7 February 2005 22:24 (twenty years ago)

"i wanna fuck jews like an animal
i wanna feel jews from the inside!"

― poortheatre (poortheatre), Monday, 7 February 2005 23:08 (twenty years ago)

i'm sorry. that was terrible.

― poortheatre (poortheatre), Monday, 7 February 2005 23:08 (twenty years ago)

I Want Jews

I'd feel more comfortable substituting "whitey" for "baby."

Whitey, It's You

― Pete Scholtes, Monday, 7 February 2005 23:20 (twenty years ago)

Ice Ice Whitey

― Pete Scholtes, Monday, 7 February 2005 23:23 (twenty years ago)

Ninja, please!

Jews Are The Sunshine Of My Life.

― Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Monday, 7 February 2005 23:27 (twenty years ago)

I'd feel more comfortable substituting "whitey" for "baby."

Holy Lord, that would make Ashanti's music about 100 times better.

― Jeff Reguilon (Talent Explosion), Monday, 7 February 2005 23:28 (twenty years ago)

Can't explain all the feelings that Jews're making me feel
My heart's in overdrive and Jews're behind the steering wheel
Touching Jews, touching me
touching Jews, god you're touching me
I wanna kiss Jews every minute, every hour, every day
Jews got me in a spin but everythin' is A.OK!

― 57 7th (calstars), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 00:00 (twenty years ago)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v504/dawerd/th_rabbi.jpg

― Tito JaXoN (JasonD), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 00:06 (twenty years ago)

holy fuck, I'm sorry, this thread is still dud

― The Obligatory Sourpuss (Begs2Differ), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 00:08 (twenty years ago)

Nothing compares,
Nothing compares... to Jews

― Sasha (sgh), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 04:25 (twenty years ago)

My friend thought that line in Loveshack by the B-52's was "Come along, because the Jews got money!!"

― Andrew (enneff), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 04:31 (twenty years ago)

Not a ghost of grin on this entire thread. Now, replacing "Blues" with "Jews" ... nope, sorry, still not funny.

― briania (briania), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 04:40 (twenty years ago)

It's only okay to dislike this thread if you think its not funny. If you think it's anti semetic, you're being lame.

(That's law.)

― David Allen (David Allen), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 20:46 (twenty years ago)

Oh Jews make me feel alright
It's like the tippermost, toppermost high
Oh it's Jews - Jews do
Crack up a Jew's face and give us a smile
Cos it's Jews - Jews do

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 20:53 (twenty years ago)

"I put a spell on Jews!"

― Star Cauliflower (Star Cauliflower), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 23:15 (twenty years ago)

Not a ghost of grin on this entire thread. Now, replacing "Blues" with "Jews" ... nope, sorry, still not funny.

-- briania (lyriclas...), February 8th, 2005.

Cocksucker Jews!

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 23:16 (twenty years ago)

We'll come back as fire
And burn all the Jews
Leave a blanket of ash on the ground.

>_<

DON'T GET OFFENDED JEWISH POSTERS.

― The Brainwasher (Twilight), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 23:20 (twenty years ago)

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