The Eagles: Destroy by Fire Bombing or with Thermonuclear Devices?

I'm willing to bear the stigma.

"Thanks, I'm working on a screenplay based on Witchy Woman..." Wil Ferrell as Glenn Frey, SNL

I don't think I'd ever go see the Eagles (if they reunited), though I wouldn't mind owning their first volume of greatest hits.

I think the problem with the Eagles is that the songs don't require or inspire the listener to any opinion, either positive or negative. The *band*, on the other hand, inspires utter hatred because they were such smug cocaine assholes. Other performers have inspired similar hatred based upon personality--Lou Reed comes to mind--but more often than not produce music that inspires opinions as well.

-J

but this is just you getting yrself off the hook, mr mcchump

Eric B. & Rakim sampled the Eagles' "These Shoes." Don Henley and Glenn Frey royally sued 'em. In interviews, they acted real offended and outraged about it. "How DARE a bunch of people take a little tiny bit of OUR SONG and claim it as their own," they cried. (Do n Henley still doesn't like rap -- nor having a smidgen of dignity, it seems.)

The Eagles wrote a hit song called "The Long Run". To a lot of people, including Bob Seger and Dave Marsh, this was an outrageously blatant rip-off of Otis Clay's "Trying to Live My Life Without You". It's possible that Otis Clay (or whoever wrote the song, if it wasn't him) might have been heard to say "How DARE a bunch of people take the whole fuckin' melody of MY SONG and claim it as their own" -- but it's hard to imagine Don Henley and Glenn Frey caring much because, after all, they are rich and white.

At one point in the seventies, the Eagles issued an onstage denunciation of the New York Dolls. When asked of the episode by a Rolling Stone reporter many years later, either Glenn Frey or Don Henley (can't remember which one -- like it matters) responded "Yeah, but where are the New York Dolls NOW?" ("In my CD collection, of course!" a young letter-writer to RS was later quoted as saying.)

Let's not even talk about the defensiveness of "Dirty Laundry." (Right up there with a lot of recent Michael Jackson.) But we can talk about Hollywood reggae of "Hotel California" and its pat, embarrassing attempt at a kind of patois which some mistook for a south-of-the-border accent, God knows why.

These are reasons enough to hate the Eagles. (At least I don't have to think (much) about what a jerk Jackson Browne is when I listen to "Lawyers in Love.") If their music was touched with the sublime, such arrogance might be safe to ignore, but as it is, their music is at best problematically tolerable...so fuck 'em.

And what hook would that be, Mark? I don't have any insider info that says Henley and Frey did or didn't care about their music, but I can say this . . . it sure doesn't SOUND like they cared, seeing as how its only the rare Eagles track (say, "New Kid in Town," with its woe-is-me solipsism) that has any emotional investment in it all. Things like "Peaceful Easy Feeling," "These Shoes," "The Greeks Don't Want No Freaks," "Doolin' Dalton," "The Long Run," "Hotel California" and "The Last Resort" are all bullshit posture masquerading as depth. Admittedly, I can't cook a melody or write a couplet like either of those two jokers, but if I could I certainly wouldn't bother with any of that shit.

-Jay

But how do you define what 'sounding like they cared' is? Certainly we can listen individually and think, "Hm, sounds sorta bleah." But I wouldn't go so far as to say that gives me the key to their creative process.

I own one Eagles record. It's not the one you're thinking of.

Otherwise, what Tracer said.

The only good thing to come out of their bland, soulless, vacuuous, aural bilge was a rejection of it, manifested initially in Punk Rock.

The Eagles write music for the unimaginative, or those who don't like music but feel socially obliged to do so. It is so desperately conformist (like the lives of its equally uninteresting fanbase) it makes me wince.

There have been, and no doubt will be, other bands who will elicit such antipathy - Dire Straits is one that springs to mind - but it will take an ennui-inspiring band of Olympian proportions to topple the Eagles from the summit of Mount Yawn.

It will take an ennui-inspiring band of Olympian proportions to topple the hatred of the Eagles from the summit of Mount Yawn.

I don't actually give a fuck about the eagles, they're just such an obvious target for disdain. it's like going "you know what i hate? Nazis! can't stand em! But that's just me, I'm a bit of an individualist."

why do rockists hate the eagles (who read as an uber-rockist band in 2007?)

i grew up in nyc in the 70s and i think there was a VERY STRONG anti-LA aspect to the hate a lot of critics were spitting out at the eagles back then. now that i don't live in new york, and the petty rivalries of the 70s are ancient history, i realize what a great pop band the eagles were. (yeah, they were no Flying Burrito Bros, but nobody ever heard them back in the day, so you take what you get) also, lots of linda ronstadt hate falls under the same category. i mean, i don't own any eagles records, but when they turn up on classic rock/oldies stations as i drive around, i don't turn the dial.....

I dunno, everyone seemed to love the Eagles, back in the day.

Then punk happened, and the rest you know.

It's funny reading this thread five years on. Almost everything said about The Eagles here could be said about Fleetwood Mac, yet Fleetwood Mac still gets idolized and The Eagles are still shit.

When they first became popular, I never liked The Eagles -- too generic, too commercial -- even though I really enjoyed country music and country rock. They were commercializing my cult. Over a few years, though, they really grew on me. The songs were just undeniable. Greatest Hits Vol. 1 testifies to that. I have never owned an Eagles album in my life, but I probably know 3/4 of the songs on that by heart, and I sang my infant children to sleep with some of them on a regular basis. Hotel California and The Long Run are fine albums, too. They never really made a bad album. Frey is boring, Henley a massive tool, Walsh something of a clown, they really missed Leadon . . . but it's great pop rock.

Artistically, something of a dead end . . . but then people around here go nuts for Big & Rich, and I'll bet they were spinning GHv.1 when they were 12.

I quite like 'em, when you get right down to it

No reason to hate The Eagles. In fact, the first couple of albums were excellent.

Number one in America.

a nation weeps

Has anyone actually heard this thing?

Generally, The Eagles beating Britney would be a good thing from my viewpoint. But that a comeback effort almost 30 years on from a bunch of tired old men that had sort of creatively dried out several years before the breakup should be better than Britney's best album ever? Well, I doubt so, although The Eagles do at least write their own songs.

St. Geir on the road to Damascus

One thing I am sick of, however, is all those references to their "Greatest Hits" as the bestselling album of all time.
It isn't. It may be the bestselling in the US market, but "Thriller" has still sold way more copies worldwide.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_best-selling_albums_worldwide

Double album=Counted twice by soundscan

That said, they still beat her by about 50gs.

no, it's not counted twice by soundscan. it's counted twice by the riaa.

hence the quote in the press release about the wal-mart guy already approaching the riaa re: mutliplatinum certification.

My bad.

IS TEH EALGES A BAD MOMZ??

>>Has anyone actually heard this thing

No. Minus points for not being available anywhere near where I live. Plus points for enabling shit-upon-Billboard-charts-type stories.

How on earth did I ever miss this thread?

Eagles, Eagles-fans and -- hell, while we're at it -- Jackson Browne and his fans should all be forcibly locked into a pod and shot into deep space for all eternity.

"Take It Easy" > anything Britney ever did

"Disco Strangler" > funnier than anything Birtney ever did

only Eagles song I like is "Those Shoes"

can't wait for the Hell Froze Over, Melted, Refroze Again Tour

I like the song "Already Gone", probably because I've been "put on the shelf" a few times.

can't wait for the Hell Froze Over, Melted, Refroze Again Tour-- dmr

dmr -- have you thought that through really? that'd be a helluva lot of waiting and then some, ain't't? :)

as per theh eagless, their bestest bit to my ears remains the bass-plentiful intro to "one of these nights". no, honest.

slushy hell tour

"Disco Strangler" is funnier than anything of Britney's

...Not to mention (as with "Those Shoes") a nice source of sample-able beats. (But I generally dislike the Eagles as much as anyone, despite curiousity about their first coupla LPs.)

sometimes I wish there was a shitty 70s z-grade horror movie about the disco strangler. he could have a trademark strangling dance move and everything.

No "Wasted time" no "I believe I can fly".

Think on that.

By which I mean "classic".

what I find odd is that it's number 1 in the UK too. Obv, there are mucho americans in their 40s-50s with no investment in what Xgau might think and who don't know or care how to download who look back fondly upon the Eagles. But my impression was that English folks at the same time had no appreciable/commensurate interest in the band.

The Eagles are OK for giving Joe Walsh righteous amounts but petty cash, but Henley/Frey can eat it.

might as well admit that i like "i can't tell you why." i tell myself it's only because it's timothy b schmidt...

Oh yeah, good old-fashioned fire bombing, if it attentuates the pre-death terror

Did it ever leak out how much Felder made in his lawsuit?

I can sing the chorus to about a dozen of their tunes and think for a minute 'hmmn, they're not that bad,' but then the sctual song comes on the radio and within a minute it's over. Time to find some classic Foreigner!

my law partner is blasting the eagles right now. i am distraught.

destroy the eagles with thermonuclear devices, btw. fire-bombing might miss the target.

You're talking to a music forum that recently saw fit to burn 2000 posts on these chaps

Yes these dudes are some serious fuckin jammers

You're talking to a music forum that recently saw fit to burn 2000 posts on these chaps

― imago, Wednesday, May 7, 2014

i am addressing this entire forum (except for waterface, who apparently likes the eagles)

You're talking to a music forum that recently saw fit to burn 2000 posts on these chaps

― imago, Wednesday, May 7, 2014 10:33 AM (23 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

some don't have the stomach to stare into the abyss, some are made of sterner stuff

what else has this "music forum" seen fit to do?

we do all kinds of stuff

o rly?

you might say i'm a. . . desperado

wrong thread, Daniel. Direct your boss to: A Good Day In Hell - The Official ILM Track-By-Track EAGLES Listening Thread

my boss?!?

lol.

to be fair, i'm sure he thinks he is.

Anyone who forces you to post complaints about Eagles is your boss.

haha. just to show our inherent equality as law-partners, i'm playing pantera at an ear-piercing volume. amy grant is up next.

he's gonna sue you for whiplash!

let him try.

DON: One of the pleasures of a catalog as deep as ours is that we see how our fans adapt music to whatever circumstance. I'm told a Miami lawyer blasts "Get Over It" at ear-splittin' volume in his office.

GLENN: And I just got a phone call about a bevy of Ft Lauderdale spring breakers who want us to give'em "the best of our love."

DON: Well, yeah.

DON: One of the pleasures of a catalog as deep awesome as ours is that we see how our fans adapt music to whatever circumstance. I'm told a Miami lawyer blasts "Get Over It" at ear-splittin' volume in his office.

indeed. and the reaction of his dismayed law partner?

http://iliketowastemytime.com/sites/default/files/best_animated_gif_nuclear_explosion.gif

you might say i'm a. . . desperado

― ....... (waterface), Wednesday, May 7, 2014 12:06 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

http://i62.tinypic.com/iqk3na.jpg

Dear Loathsome Trade Hacks,

I was terribly amused by your series of fantasy scenarios detailing my supposed crawl through all the post-Grammy "company store" parties. In truth, I opted for a quiet, candlelit dinner with my beautiful wife at a seaside restaurant. You see, I didn’t want to attend any of those sumptuous bashes and be the guy who ordered that one extra glass of champagne that shifted the delicate balance and sent the industry careening over the edge into the abyss of total bankruptcy (although Sony’s music group shows a profit of $203 million for this past fiscal year).

In retrospect, though, I probably should have made the scene and kissed some record-company ass. Perhaps I could have gotten my own label deal. Maybe, while standing there admiring the ice sculpture filled with shrimp, I would have had an epiphany, seen the light and been converted: There is no God, there is no government, there are no individuals. There is only THE CORPORATION. The sovereign, almighty, world-governing Corporation—and we are all here to serve It.

Having thus come to my senses, I, too, would then be able to sign fledgling artists to unconscionable, long-term contracts with all those juicy deduction clauses like the one for breakage that dates back to 1928, when the records were made of shellac and would shatter if dropped. Tried to break a CD lately? Why, you couldn’t break one if you wedged it horizontally between Zach Horowitz’s butt cheeks and told him that all his master copyrights were about to revert to the true owners, the artists. But never mind that now. Then I could stick those stupid artists with at least 50% of the independent-promotion costs, even though they had nothing to do with allowing that practice to become institutionalized. For an encore, I could whack ’em again with "free goods," packaging deductions, video costs, etc., etc., ad infinitum.

"Sit your temperamental, flaky, naive ass down here, artist. Disgruntled about your deal after your third album sold 5 million copies? Sure, we’ll renegotiate with you. We’ll just give you what basically amounts to your own money, which we’ve been holding in the pipeline and collecting interest on, but we’re also gonna start the clock all over again and tack on three more albums at the end so that you’re essentially starting all over again. It’s a beautiful thing. You’re gonna love it here—for the rest of your career, which actually could be over in five minutes, but hey, that’s not our problem (we own your master copyrights, you boob). So you can just sell the house in the hills and go back to that crappy little town you came from, and the world ‘will not long remember what we did here, etc…’ We’ll just write off any losses we may have incurred (although we really haven’t incurred any). It’s just the cost of doing business. Then we’ll proceed to the next gullible sap with a dream. You came from diddlysquat, and you’ll get used to diddlysquat again.

"Meanwhile, here at media-mogul headquarters, we’ve got to lock up the house in Santa Barbara, as well as the one in the Hamptons (plus the vacation pad in Acapulco) and rush off to get the corporate jet serviced. It’s in dire need of a tune-up after all those trips to France, and the new one won’t be delivered until we find the next Flavor-of-the-Month and bring in some serious profits (or prophets—we could really use either). After all, we’ve got to fund our mass-production assembly line somehow. You know—all the crap we sign just because some 21-year-old A&R man tells us it’s brilliant. You can’t expect us to sacrifice our bottom line just for the sake of culture. We don’t give a shit about culture. That kind of starry-eyed idealism doesn’t fit in with our plan for world domination, much less the plans of our board of directors and our major stockholders. We’ve got quarterly reports to file, and we’ve got a 90%-plus failure rate that screams out, ‘We don’t know what the fuck we’re doing.’’’ ("Gentlemen, gentlemen! We’ve got to protect our phony baloney jobs!" —Mel Brooks, Blazing Saddles)

"I mean, who would have thought those freakin’ hillbillies would have sold over 3 million albums and won five Grammys!? And no tits, no ass, no cursing, no nothing! Just…uh…musicianship and soulfulness. We don’t get it. Is there something we’re missing? Is there some hunger out there for authenticity? We’re so confused!"

Meanwhile, back in the real world: In order to finally settle these escalating disputes between artists and the record companies with the dignity and class indicative of these times, I have come up with a plan. Hilary Rosen and I will engage in a bout of nude mud wrestling, which will be broadcast on that paragon of good taste, the Fox Network (if Fox doesn’t want it, then we’ll do it on The WB). If I win, she has to sleep with Zach Horowitz. If she wins, I have to purchase a lifetime subscription to HITS magazine—and actually read it.

Love and kisses,
Don Henley

dear don henley: shut the fuck up, you bloated old hack. love and kisses, the sensible world.

Ive always been a dreamer
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Default Re: Don Henley's Open Letters and E-mails

OMG - I've seen those both before, but I still get a giggle out of reading them. Don has such a twisted sense of humor and his rebellious side is still alive and well. I love 'em.