New survey: HOW should Michael Jackson commit suicide?

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

I say he gets locked in a room with a bunch of chimps who will eat his bones clean. Then someone can buy his skeleton.

― shookout (shookout), Friday, 11 March 2005 20:54 (twenty years ago)

some evil, evil ilxor whose name I blanked suggested he videotape himself being tickled to death by small children. I shudder still.

― miccio (miccio), Friday, 11 March 2005 20:56 (twenty years ago)

I prefer the Jonestown approach.

― Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Friday, 11 March 2005 20:56 (twenty years ago)

Chased off a cliff by topless women like that guy in Monty Python's Meaning Of Life. Because nobody would see it coming.

― pdf (Phil Freeman), Friday, 11 March 2005 20:56 (twenty years ago)

Moonwalk off a cliff.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 11 March 2005 20:58 (twenty years ago)

Dies during operation to graft the Elephant Man's head onto his body.

― Ferlin Husky (noodle vague), Friday, 11 March 2005 21:00 (twenty years ago)

Films another Pepsi commercial.

― Stupornaut (natepatrin), Friday, 11 March 2005 21:00 (twenty years ago)

In court, Jackson rips off his pajama top - exposing a vest entirely made up of plastic explosives. With a cry of "why don't you like me?" he detonates the explosives killing himself, the lawyers, the press, the spectators and everyone else associated with this fiasco.

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Friday, 11 March 2005 21:03 (twenty years ago)

hire zombies from "Thriller" video to eat him.

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Friday, 11 March 2005 21:04 (twenty years ago)

STOP BOTHERING MICHAEL JACKSON!

― Momus (Momus), Friday, 11 March 2005 21:06 (twenty years ago)

I think its more likely he'll turn into a spaceship like he did in Moonwalker only to rise again on the third day like he did in Moonwalker

― miccio (miccio), Friday, 11 March 2005 21:07 (twenty years ago)

How should Michael Jackson commit suicide?

By releasing a cover of "This One's for the Children".

― Ferlin Husky (noodle vague), Friday, 11 March 2005 21:09 (twenty years ago)

You cruel, heartless people.

― ffirehorse, Friday, 11 March 2005 22:18 (twenty years ago)

Ya'll are stupid

― Mike Tyson, Friday, 11 March 2005 22:19 (twenty years ago)

this thread is cruel and wrong and yet TOTALLY HILARIOUS

― Shakey Mo Collier, Friday, 11 March 2005 22:19 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, Michael Jackson really deserves our compassion and sympathy now.

Maybe he should cover "The Greatest Love of All."

― shookout (shookout), Friday, 11 March 2005 23:02 (twenty years ago)

is there a bad visit to neverland in your past shookout?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 11 March 2005 23:04 (twenty years ago)

Nah, I just think he's an overrated jackass with one and half good albums that Quincy Jones deserves more of the credit for, but that's been covered on another thread.

― shookout (shookout), Friday, 11 March 2005 23:10 (twenty years ago)

Court order garnishing all his finances and requiring him to pay rent and utilities, work a non-music-related day job and ride public transit. He'd crumble faster than Dan Aykroyd in _Trading Places._

― mike a, Friday, 11 March 2005 23:50 (twenty years ago)

he should be sent to jail where he can find jesus -- only in this case, "jesus" will be a 300-lb. body-building gangsta who was himself molested as a child.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 11 March 2005 23:55 (twenty years ago)

dropped off a balcony by his kids

― latebloomer: damn cheapskate satanists (latebloomer), Saturday, 12 March 2005 00:13 (twenty years ago)

"I just think he's an overrated jackass with one and half good albums that Quincy Jones deserves more of the credit for"

hey that's MY line!

― Shakey Mo Collier, Saturday, 12 March 2005 00:26 (twenty years ago)

Wow Shakey I think yr sense of humor's pretty different from mine. miccio's the only one even trying here, by my lights.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 12 March 2005 00:31 (twenty years ago)

Suicide? By reading pith like this shit everyday.

― maria b (maria b), Saturday, 12 March 2005 01:14 (twenty years ago)

I think he should modify GG Allin's plans and shove a stick of dynamite up his ass and run into the crowded courtroom and take a few folks with him.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 12 March 2005 01:18 (twenty years ago)

at the white house, maybe

― ian in brooklyn, Saturday, 12 March 2005 06:32 (twenty years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.