Portentous Use of Studio Chatter in Song Intros

but I'm sure you can think of some more.

Wedding Present - "Be Honest" - ha ha we are a band just layin down tracks in the studio, weve made a mistake, woah better start again then but leave it in it sounds better, NO IT DOESNT YOU ARSE EDIT IT OUT.

That's annoyed me for 12 years and a month now, nice to get it out of my system.

"This is Andy Warhol and it's take 1"
"It's warHOLE, actually. As in Holes."
"So are you ready?"

-Dave Bowie, Hunky Dory.

Isn't there a track on George Best as well that begins with Gedge telling the engineer what his job is?

"You ask me if it sounds good and I say, 'Yeah, it sounds good,' because it does, it's a nice smooth distorted sound -- we've had about five of them today. But it's your job to make sure the frequencies won't interfere, so there's no point asking me if it sounds good."

That's 'Nothing Comes Easy' off the 'Nobody's Twisting Your Arm' EP. Now an extra track on George Best. I like that, because à la 'Any Warhol' it makes the artist seem such a tyrant.

Of course the kings of chatter are Pixies on 'Surfer Rosa'.

Outtake chatter is another thing all together. Paul McCartney on Anthology 3 trying to maintain band camaraderie during 'She came in through the bathroom window' when Geroge was clearly fed up to the back teeth with him is a think to behold. That's an outro, anyway, so I should shut up.

Aye, but it's not half as bad as the (& I can hardly bear to talk about it) 'candid' soundcheck pop video with roadies winking at the camera etc. etc. Sorry, my buttocks are clenched with embarrassment..

The studio talk over 'Love Like Anthrax' is CHUFFIN' ACE.

Hang on, maybe it's not 'Nothing Comes Easy'. That's the one with "You can tell by the way my fingers are moving, Nick, it's not a natural thing to do. I've never played that in my life before", isn't it? I'm confused now.

Branford Marsalis's panicked cry for the key on "Shadows in the Rain" on "The Dream of the Blue Turtles". Ooh, how spontaneous!

What about that intro to the Slayer song "Angel of Death" where Tom says "I just want you to know, I love you guys dearly, and I hope that everyone has a good time, here in the Carribean." Wait, maybe I dream that.

Not strictly at the very start, but after singing the first couple of lines of 'Milkcow Blues Boogie' Elvis stops singing and tells the band:

"Hold it fellows, that don't move me.

Let's get real, real gone for a change. "

Bob Geldof's great song of hey nonny no. Are we rolling?
Course you are you muppet. Should have stuck to saving the world instead of doing pish poor Dylan rip offs.

That Damned song that starts out "Um, Is she really going out with him?"

- The second track on the b-side of Bauhaus' "Bela Lugosi's Dead" 12", before the band launchs into an impromptu rendition of "Dark Entries," someone (David J maybe?) says, "Let's go, let's go," repeatedly.

- "You can't, because I lose myself when I'm playing" quoth Jaz Coleman before "Money is Not Our God."

- "Nazi Punks Fuck Off, Overproduced by Martin Hannet Take FOUR!" by the Dead Kennedys

- "The other ones are complete bullshit!" by Stewart Copeland just prior to "On Any Other day"

I've mentioned this one before, but the OUTRO on the *import* (i.e. non-USA version) of "Follow Me", the final track on Blondie's "Autoamerican" album has a voice during the fade-out say "you're not really gonna put that on the record?". Since the song is a schmaltzy ballad, the effect is pretty amusing.

Here.

I'll mention it a third time if I get the opportunity.

Oh, I just did that so Tom might notice that we have something in common.

doesn't the ryan adams debut have some intro? if you play it backwards it says "i sold my soul for a fiver."

Billy, was that Bob Geldof line ever sampled in the early 90s by any chance?

Metallica, "Pulling Teeth". Somebody says "Bass solo - take one!" All I can say is, what a great title!

Not sure of these two count, but two from the Floyd: During the segueway into "Empty Spaces" on THE WALL (just prior to "Young Lust"), there's some incomprehensible chatter. If played backwards, it says something akin to: "Congratulations on finding the secret message, please send your answer to Old Pink, care of the funnyfarm in Chalfont." Try it. It works.

The second one is at a certain lull during "The Great Gig in the Sky" on DARK SIDE OF THE MOON, where a female voice (Claire Torry's?) softly intones: "If you can here me whispering, you're DYING!"

Pretentious chatter is the best - It's No Game (Part 1) by Bowie starts off with a 1,2,2,3 count-in and ends with Dave yelling at Robert Fripp to shut up.Contrived?Yes.Classic?Yes.

i find it hard to believe that no one has mentioned the studio chatter at the beginning of the matmos remix of kid606's "twirl" called "photoshoot" on the "p.s you love me" album. egh.

"I still believe in God, but God No Longer believes in ME!", the opening salvo from ol' Wayne on The Mission's GOD'S OWN MEDICINE

Robyn Hitchcock waiting for the plane to pass over in "I Something You".

On a long song on the first or second Fall album, MES says "That's plenty, studio" towards the end.

I lurve the first slint album -- "hey steve, I think the monitors are on".

that slint thing is like the whole 'tweez' album, mostly all the vocals are bad studio noise.

And you say it like it's a bad thing Tyler...

Clarke I don't know, but the idea of someone sampling a Bob Geldof song beggars belief.

I'm with Damian on this one, at least as far as intros go. All the examples mentioned in the question are indisputably wonderful. In fact, I can't think of a single bad portentous intro. I also like fuck ups at the start of takes that are left in on the final record. BUT with some notable exceptions, I don't much care for portentousness on outros.

I've tried to think about why this might be. Maybe it's got something to do with undercutting any suggestion of portentousness in the song proper, maybe it's just "my" type of humour, I dunno.

Whereas, on the outro, jokiness comes over more like "yeah well, listener, we weren't really serious about this track, you just wasted 3 minutes of your life - sucker!" (über-naff example - that Robbie Williams-Jane Horrocks fake-argument at the end of their duet on 'Swing When Your Winning')

Another exception to above rule - 'intro' tracks at the start of hip hop and R&B albums (is it a law or something nowadays that you MUST include one of these?). Generally these bore me to death. Just get on with it!

The Wedding Present do seem to be the champs at this stuff BTW - another example: "Felicity" on the Peel Session ep (starts with feedback that sounds like the Starship Enterprise transporter, Gedge: "This is a William Shatner song")

Honorable exceptions re studio chat on outros=dud: I always strain to catch the barely audible chatter at the end of Bowie's 'Life on Mars?'. Also, 'Salt and Pepper' by Crass which concludes their "Well Forked...But Not Dead" LP - a portentous outro so long it was given its own track title.

Alex In NYC - that whispering on The Great Gig In The Sky is actually 'I never said I was frightened of dying.'Studio chat worthy of this thread's original purpose - the intro to 'Rock Star' by Hole.

(Jeff, you almost certainly knew this already but I always assumed Gedge said "This is a William Shatner number" at the start of "Felicity" is because the song was written by James Kirk of Orange Juice... errr... wasn't it?)

correct, Tim (i.e. two in-jokes for the price of one)

At the end of "Life on Mars", I believe Bowie says "can I get a glass of water?"

Yeah, but Jeff, I think you're imagining the feedback/transporter thing. I mean that's just mental.

Who was it that claimed that if you have a REALLY GREAT STEREO you can hear Morrissey saying something at the start of 'Alsatian Cousin' but then refused to elucidate?

Al Green: "Alright, we got the feeling now! WE GOT THE FEELING NOW!"

Band member: "Shut up, Al Green."

From the start of his cover of I Want To Hold Your Hand.

Ted Templeman : "C'mon Dave, give me a break"
David Lee Roth : "One break comin' up!"

Unchained - Van Halen

The Al Green on isn't portentous. It's just funny. You can hear his grin. I put the first thirty seconds or so, including chatter, here: http://www.mediafire.com/?5z1oz5z552d

There's a lot of this sort of thing on the Afghan Whigs 1965 album but in a good way.

john martyn - fine lines

On a long song on the first or second Fall album, MES says "That's plenty, studio" towards the end.
That's actually the sound engineer telling the band to stop playing. They play on for a few minutes more...

MUSIC SCENE

THERES SOME OF THIS ON BEACH BOYS FRIENDS ALBUM

The "C Moon" line is "Is that the intro I should have been in?" and it's great. Paul can get away with this kind of thing to me because he's so clearly convinced on a deep level that that's what being a rock and roller involves, see also his tendency towards pointless interjections in the middle of songs, "Get on home Loretta!" etc. The "All right okay huh huh huh" beginning of "Listen To What The Man Said" isn't so hot though.

Aye, but it's not half as bad as the (& I can hardly bear to talk about it) 'candid' soundcheck pop video with roadies winking at the camera etc. etc.

Worst variation of this: Limp Bizkit's "My Way," with an achingly forced "So, I guess they've got some funny costumes in Wardrobe or whatever" intro.

Can't believe nobody's mentioned the best deployment of this device: "Daydream Believer" by the Monkees. One wimpy-sounding Monkee (Davy Jones?) inquires "What number is this one, Jim?" and the entire studio, incredibly annoyed, replies, "SEVEN A" as if they've been over this forty times. The chastised one mutters something sheepish and the song starts. Beautifully fake.