Did you invent make-believe artists/groups when you were little?

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...because I had shedloads of them, with discographies and everything. I would then move them around in fantasy Top 20 singles charts.

If you did something similar, then please introduce your acts. Mine included:

The Bank Robbers - long hair, beards and shades; rock-pop, in the style of The Move.

Tickled Pink - clean-cut manufactured boy band, in the style of Edison Lighthouse/White Plains.

Nancy Hoffman - my Janis Joplin figure. Long straight hair, specs, green dresses with plunging necklines; screamed a lot - and I mean a LOT. Biggest hit: "Bop".

Captain Atbos - atonal weird-out whimsy, with all band members sporting moustaches and white ankle-length gowns.

Fanta-Lick Extraordinaire - psychedelic prog with tape effects and "found sounds". Biggest album: "Supper At Jojos, or The Pink Genies Ride Again".

Sam and Samantha - deliberately ghastly pop duo, designed specifically to irritate. Biggest hit: "Like A Shot In The Night".

And a few years later:

The New Leaders - doom-laden apocalyptic post-punk, pre-dating Killing Joke by a good couple of years. Biggest hit: "Meet Your Maker".

The Placemats - wilfully incompetent faux-naive post-punk DIY art-rock, à la Desperate Bicycles/Swell Maps/early Mekons/early Devo/Robert Rental/Residents. Key lyric: "None of the kids can understand/that we're not a disco pick-up band/and we're never gonna do the Cilla Black show/and we'll never tour the States with ELO..."

And you?

mike t-diva (mike t-diva), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 13:02 (twenty years ago)

I actually went so far as to write (and eventually demo) songs for these groups...

1981-1985
"The Young Express" - 8-piece pop/rock kid supergroup with elementary-school themed lyrics. The kids are new wave fans, and the Duran-tinged "Night Visions", about strange dreams ("When you walk / in the dark / do you really see / what you see?") first charts in Canada before making waves in the UK. No member is over 12 years old, but each child is a prodigy at his/her instrument. First band of their kind to benefit from the music video era, and their TV variety show is an international smash hit.

1987-1989
"Active Action" - Splinter group from 'four tween-age members of The Young Express. A bizarre hybrid of hair metal, hi-nrg dance-pop, and new wave, their sound is nonetheless influential, and the single "On Command" is a worldwide Top Ten.

1989-1991
"Rhythm Control" - Intrigued by the burgeoning hip-hop and dance music scenes, the two lead singer-songwriters of Active Action strike out as a duo. Combining elements of rap, acid house, and rock, singles such as "Off & Running", "Hangin' With The Crowd", and "Turn It All About" set alight
both dancefloors and pop charts worldwide.

Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 13:44 (twenty years ago)

You are both Robert Pollard.

Schwip Schwap (schwip schwap), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 13:45 (twenty years ago)

I had a make-believe record label. "Marvellous". With a capital M inside a circle.

I had the Beatles, the Shadows, etc..

Although the singles were just the ordinary versions with the logos drawn on with a biro. I think I still got them...

mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 13:50 (twenty years ago)

Oh God, don't get me started on fantasy record labels. The first single release on Dining Room Records: "Listen To The Placemats/One Chord Song" by The Placemats (EAT 1) is actually listed in a punk/new wave directory, after I submitted details by post following a request for submissions in (I think) Sounds. After mentioning the "single" on my blog about three years ago, I actually got an e-mail from a collector, who had been trying to track it down for years. I blushed. Oh, how I blushed.

mike t-diva (mike t-diva), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 14:04 (twenty years ago)

You are both Robert Pollard

Yes but Robert Pollard was still doing when he was in 30s

Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 14:05 (twenty years ago)

You are both Robert Pollard

Yes but Robert Pollard was still doing when he was in 30s

It's worth mentioning that this stuff took place between the ages of six & sixteen.

Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 14:09 (twenty years ago)

I was CEO of Never Boy Records.

I think the biggest band was The Box, but I'm struggling to remember the other names. My mate ran Pink Tie Records, and I compiled the weekly chart. Never Boy had a pretty decent market share, funnily enough.

Buffalo Stan (Buffalo Stan), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 14:10 (twenty years ago)

Jumping Biz - a five pice all girl group, leathers, black make-up, etc. Their first album "Motorbike? What motorbike?" went to number 14325 in the world chart. Does anyone else remember "Zigire", the online music game?

mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 14:11 (twenty years ago)

I used to have bitter publishing wars between rival comic book companies, but that's a story for another day.

mike t-diva (mike t-diva), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 14:11 (twenty years ago)

Hell, I still did as recently as age fifteen!

I remember drawing up record sleeves at age seven for a fictional compilation that included Mariah Carey doing a cover of My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult's "Do You Fear For Your Child?"



I've always wanted to start a label called Primary (after the song by The Cure) but I found out there was a division of Elektra with that name and so I drew up a fictional discography for Primary Benelux instead. (Factory Benelux being an obvious influence.) I went as far to make it a division of Deux Triangles (like The Durutti Column record!). When I make mixtapes I usually list them as being "a Primary Benelux/Deux Triangles product" and give them catalogue numbers. A couple of years ago I even made catalogue numbers for letters I wrote!



Anyway, I think I threw out the fictional Primary Benelux discography, but I remember it had groups like Blue Northern and a compilation called In Studio on a Cold January Day where all the tracks were recorded live on a hot August night (Crispy Ambulance fans should get that one).

What we want? Sex with T.V. stars! What you want? Ian Riese-Moraine! (Eastern Ma, Tuesday, 5 April 2005 14:49 (twenty years ago)

I had an imaginary band called the R Associate Band (logo was an inverted "R" in some fancy font) when I was twelvish. They were a Three Dog Night-esque trash singles band whose biggest hits were an unwritten song called "Talkin' to Myself" and a cover of "The Air That I Breathe." Never occurred to me that they'd need a record label ...

Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 15:18 (twenty years ago)


when i was 11 and my sister was 7 we formed a band called frog and toad. i played guitar and she hit pots and pans and we "covered" Are you gonna go my way?

years and years later, i see the white stripes and want to sue for spiritual copyright infringement

JD from CDepot, Tuesday, 5 April 2005 15:43 (twenty years ago)

Similar to JD's: my neighborhood friend Max and I had a band called the Dinosaurs. He played toy guitar and I played pots and pans. We were heavily Monkees-influenced and had a theme song called something like "We're the Dinosaurs."

n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 15:56 (twenty years ago)

I used to do this as a kid and to be frank I still do this now.

http://www.coastaltown.nildram.co.uk/porl/skwish.zip

is my made up grime crew - Trevor the Stereo, Dave Spoiler, Gannet and Iron Wrack Alf, aka SKWISH SKQWADZ

A / F#m / Bm / D (Lynskey), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 15:59 (twenty years ago)

The RS red guide warped my childhood. I'd invent endless discographies for fake bands, and their careers would always start off with 'masterpieces' and then go into a long dark night of zero-star records ('by the time of 'Crash Trash' (0 stars), writer/guitarist 'Horrible' Harry Heeps had forbidden overdubbing, multiple takes, and rehearsing, for religious reasons. This strategy had predictable results') ill-advised solo albums, rip-off compilations and live contract-fillers ("'Live in Montevideo' is particularly poor, as the singer and guitarist both quit onstage during recording, so side 4 consists of security guards escorting fans out of the building - which is still an uneventful drone, as the show was bad enough that no refunds were even requested")I tried doing a 'disaster' band in real life - the fake ones were better and certainly didn't cost me $11,000 + last remaining self-respect

dave q (listerine), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 16:38 (twenty years ago)

'Tim Fricasee' = 'soulful' singer-songwriter, whose 'songs' = banal phrases repeated with increasing hysteria, over mournful two-chord progressions. One of 'Tim's' songs went "something around here, can't tell you what it is!" (repeat x 4000)

dave q (listerine), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 16:52 (twenty years ago)

I heart you all.

the fucker that will burn you (sundar), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 17:03 (twenty years ago)

"The Fuzz", and it the members were furry google-eyed puppets.

Bobby Peru (Bobby Peru), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 17:04 (twenty years ago)

Erm, rather embarrassingly, I've been inventing make-believe artists more now, later in life, than when I was little (when I was little my sister and I just ran imaginary radio stations; we'd pillage our parents' record collection for our playlists but had no concept of the mix, so The Beatles would jostle uncomfortably next to The BeeGees, alongside The Dubliners, followed by Yma Sumac).

So these days I've started writing about music. I'm writing a novel all about musicians and at the mo my head is full of imaginary bands, music, record labels, and album and song titles (I've discovered I have absolutely no lyric-writing abilities, though).

Its working title is "I Heart Music", so I jumped a bit when I read "the fucker that..."'s post just now.

Surfer_Stone_Rosalita (Surfer_Stone_Rosalita), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 17:22 (twenty years ago)

man, i wish i could say i didn't do this but in fact, from the age of 6 until the present i've been engaging in such activities. my new fantasy band plays math rock and they're called Ratiohead

ken taylrr (ken taylrr), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 17:25 (twenty years ago)

the habit has never gone further than band name and maybe cover art

ken taylrr (ken taylrr), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 17:25 (twenty years ago)

goodness, i'm still doing this and i'm 28.

the Primary Benelux...brilliant!

KPH, Tuesday, 5 April 2005 17:41 (twenty years ago)

I too was warped by the RS red guide as a child. I had a neighbor with whom I would exchange drawings of album covers for non-existent bands. I can only remember that I had made up a band called Caravan long before I knew about the artists behind "Cunning Stunts".

Jon Hope (jarge), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 19:35 (twenty years ago)

I did this from the age of about six up until about, oh, yesterday. I'm too embarassed to mention anything but two parody groups I came up with at the ages of 7 and 9 respectively: No and the DC-10s. Anybody wanna guess what I was listening to at the time?

Colin Meeder (Mert), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 19:53 (twenty years ago)

Yes, and Ginger Baker's Airforce?

mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 07:48 (twenty years ago)

Or 10CC?

OleM (OleM), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 08:47 (twenty years ago)

Ah you figured that one...

mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 09:02 (twenty years ago)

The B-52's, surely...

mike t-diva (mike t-diva), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 09:03 (twenty years ago)

I invented a few. Even wrote songs for them :-)

Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 09:40 (twenty years ago)

I started a novel about an alt-rock band -- basically, Smashing Pumpkins with the interband drama of Fleetwood Mac -- when I was 14.

Lyra Jane (Lyra Jane), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 13:03 (twenty years ago)


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