Tom Artrocker vs NME (part 652)

try again :

It seems to me we haven't had a good go at the NME for a while, let's put
that right.
I have a copy here, I bought it, but only for research purposes. I didn't
have any trouble picking one up, it's Thursday and the newsagent had 10
copies; "How many do you get?" I asked, "Ten" came the mournful reply, "Not
very popular then?" "Well there are a couple of 10 year olds who always ask
for it but the rest usually get sent back to the distributor. It's strange
because I can remember people, people like you, turning up at the shop first
thing on a Wednesday morning to get their copy. And if we were sold out
they'd get really upset. What happened?"

We know what happened don't we Artrockers, IPC recruited a man who's
knowledge of rock and roll is only equalled by my knowledge of Grime. He
declared his intention of turning it into Pop Heat for kiddie-winkies and
that's exactly what he's done. So there is NO music journalism of any worth
anywhere within it's gaudy, messy, appallingly designed format (it seems to
have been designed to ape the worst of web-sites, all pop up boxes and
flashing colours making the whole thing feel bitty, messy and irrelevant)
and those remaining NME journo's who actually do give a shit can only be
hanging on to their jobs by keeping their gobs shut.

This week they're flaunting their middle class - suburban rich kid
fascination with that wank in the fields called Glastonbury. That's right,
'plum in the mouth' socialist Micheal Eavis is, of course, all over the
thing with his revolting daughter ("all the gals in my dorm just adored
Embrace don't you know"). He's one of those true socialists who's children
are too important to go to a state school - darling.

Let's be absolutely clear about this, Glastonbury is a temporary walled city
that allows Henry and Henrietta to take their first E in controlled
conditions and is handily positioned near mummy and daddy's country home so
the little darlings can wander off if it bally well rains. Glastonbury is as
much about music as the NME, the perfect partnership then.

But when you decide that you're going to completely change the demographic
of a magazine there will be a price to pay. An example has come to my
attention this very week. Rumour has it, and its a very strong rumour, that
the embarrassingly bad club nme (it doesn't deserve upper case) at Koko
(definitely the worst venue name I've ever heard) is being chucked out on
its ear to be replaced by a far more successful (not difficult) club night
(no names - no pack drill). Why? Well - for the simple reason that nobody in
they're right mind went to it. Why not? Because, whatever else the NME is
it's cool factor went up in smoke the day the present editor took the chair.
Add to this the fact that, as my newsagent informed me, the target audience
would appear to be 8 to 18 - this is not a demographic that spends a great
deal of time at late-night clubs. It was always going to be a disaster,
moving it from Wednesday to Friday was a waste of everybody's time.
I'm sure the provincial club nme's will continue with some sort of success,
after all the NME reeks of provincialism and the kids in shit-ville UK have
virtually zero choice, so good luck to them. But as far as London is
concerned the best thing they could do would be to 'just forget it' - NME
has become the definition of un-cool, nobody over 16 would ever admit to
reading it, their friends would laugh at them.

Tom Artrocker

He says this like it's a bad thing! It's NME's saving grace!

Is Tom Artrocker that guy who went on that anti-immigration rant a while ago?

Off by at least five years, in my opinion. The rest of you would probably say even longer.

I admit I'm speaking from a position of (slight) bias here, but it does seem a bit much like sour grapes. If it means so much to him why not pour all that energy into making Art Rocker the best it can be? And if Art Rocker is really the Future Of Music Writing why the need to go on the attack? I honestly don't think there is a massive amount of difference between the two publications (although I would say NME def. has better writing, but then again I would, they also have a bigger budget and all that entails). Art Rocker - decent night to see new bands, even if the quality is slightly pick and mix, diverting fanzine - why the bitterness?

Artrocker = narrow range of trad songs rock music, a fanzine for 18-24 year olds who like going to rock music gigs. Low readership, insular, rather limited, no cultural power.

There is a chasm between the fickle teenagers NME and rather rockist conformist 40 + conventional critics canon of Uncut.

Q is now mainstream 20s.

I will say it again there is market for a weekly diverse radical agenda setting music magazine aimed at 20s/ 30s, plus the smarter teenagers and those over 40 still interested in new music. A monthly publication cannot set agenda. Enough people would welcome a weekly reading fix.

Billie Holiday! The Savoy Label! Jazz! C81! C86! Stax! Volt! King Sunny Ade!

It's hard to imagine the current NME even caring.
It's hard to imagine the current NME readership even caring.

Squarepusher! Captain Beefheart! Oxide and Neutrino! Max Tundra!Jobriath! Coldplay!

All given away in the last 5 years...

anna OTM.

was what I meant... I think.

It already exists, or they already exist. The one for those interested in non-melodic avant garde stuff is called The Wire, the one for those still interested in checking out new stuff, although preferrably in a more traditional genre or style, is called Mojo.

But isn't the market, certaintly from a prospective advertisers perspective, far to fragmented to make such a venture viable?

Also The Wire doesn't particularly cover these genres in detail, for example: avant jazz, dark/ extreme metal, avant progressive rock, ambient/ space music.

My idea of a weekly publication is a combination of The Wire, Terrorizer, Jockey Slut, Muzik, XLR8R, Knowledge, Jazzwise, Expose, Side-Line, Grooves and Melody Maker [Pre Mark Sutherland era] and Sounds.

With all those dance/R&B oriented mags, it sounds to me more like a mag for 20-year-olds and teens rather than a mag for people in their 30s or 40s.

would that that were the case geir. unfortunately all those 20 yr olds and teens just like listening to dull worthy rock bands. or something

Terrorizer = Extreme Metal
Jockey Slut, Muzik, XLR8R = House/ Techno/ Breaks etc
Knowledge = drum n bass/ jungle
Jazzwise = jazz
Expose = avant rock / avant progressive rock / avant jazz / post rock etc
Side-Line = industrial/ darkwave/ ebm/ futurepop
Grooves = abstract electronic music: IDM/ experimental electronics/ minimal house / leftfield hip hop / detroit techno / ambient etc
and Melody Maker [Pre Mark Sutherland era] and Sounds = a diverse mixture of music

NONE of them deal with RnB ! The only dance music magazine mentioned above that deals with multi dance genres that still is published is XLR8R, and that is American. [Obviously Jockey Slut / Muzik are no longer published]

XLR8R readers are mostly in their 20s/ early 30s.

Geir, once again remains clueless.

A LIST
Nanci Griffith with Jimmy Buffett - I Love This Town
Natasha Bedingfield - I Bruise Easily
Maroon 5 - Must Get Out
Athlete - Half Light
*NEW* Bruce Springsteen - Devils & Dust
Dr John feat. Randy Newman - I Ate Up The Apple Tree
Elton John -Turn The Lights Out When You Leave
Destiny's Child - Girl
Razorlight - Somewhere Else

B LIST
Steve Edwards - One By One
Hal - Play The Hits
Wire Daisies - Everyman
*NEW* Nerina Pallot - ALBUM: Fires
The Bees - Chicken Payback
*NEW* Lucie Silvas - The Game Is Won
*NEW* Idlewild - I Understand It
*NEW* Natalie Imbruglia - ALBUM: Counting Down The Days
Michael Bublé - Home
Melanie C - Next Best Superstar

C LIST
*NEW* Weezer - Beverley Hills
Beverley Knight - Keep This Fire Burning
Kaiser Chiefs - You Can Have It All
Ben Lee - Catch My Disease
The Tears - Refugees
Lemar - Time To Grow
Jem - ALBUM: Finally Woken
Kylie - Giving You Up
*NEW* Jonatha Brooke - ALBUM: Back In The Circus
Caesars - Jerk It Out
Tony Christie - ALBUM: Tony Christie Definitive Collection
*NEW* New Order - ALBUM: Waiting For The Sirens' Call
Robert Plant and The Strange Sensation - Shine It All Around
The stiX feat. Corinne Bailey Rae - Young & Foolish

None of them deal with classic rock acts or Travis/Coldplay/Keane either, which is basically what people over 30 are into.

I am pretty sure that Radio 2's listeners were not particularly amused by them playing Destiny's Child btw.

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http://www.blackmailmag.com/images/MUSICA/Joss-Stone.jpg

this is what extremely fashionable people in their late 20s/30s listen to in east london!