So who's actually buying (Is This The Way To) Amarillo?

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For the non-UK based, this track has been at number one for four weeks, the current batch of mid-weeks show that it won't be moved this week either. It's also topped the download charts.

But what type of person is buying it? Answers on a postcard to the office I'm currently working in, where this is a very hot topic.

― Anna (Anna), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 10:56 (twenty years ago)

My mum bought it!

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:00 (twenty years ago)

Severely overweight 39 year old women whose only reason to keep living is so they can do the karaoke at the Rose & Crown on Thursday night.

― dog latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:02 (twenty years ago)

xpost (sorry Marcello)

― dog latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:03 (twenty years ago)

people whose last single was the band aid 20 single

― jellybean (jellybean), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:03 (twenty years ago)

what's your reason to keep living, dog latin?

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:04 (twenty years ago)

So I can maybe one day be able to purchase Is This The Way To Amarillo.

― dog latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:08 (twenty years ago)

..on holodisk

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:23 (twenty years ago)

before or after the sex change?

― $V£N! (blueski), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:23 (twenty years ago)

every club i've been in recently has played this and everybody has been singing along. It's disturbing.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:24 (twenty years ago)

"stupid people think it's cool. smart people think it's a joke, also cool."

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:27 (twenty years ago)

i am fine with the song. i think the Peter Kay backlash is kicking in tho.

― $V£N! (blueski), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:30 (twenty years ago)

Post-football in the boozer a couple of weeks ago, it's the first song on the karaoke. Escape to street, a hen party are stumbling along singing it. Enter other boozer, go to toilet, bloke next to me is whistling it.

It's like a bad Doctor Who story. Zombies!

― bg, Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:41 (twenty years ago)

It's worse than 'vindaloo' a few years ago

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:44 (twenty years ago)

.. like that lady who went to the doctor, right?

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:46 (twenty years ago)

Just a little distance over the water, I've never heard this song.

(I might have heard my mother sing a few lines when I was younger - does the next line end with pillow?)

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:58 (twenty years ago)

Yep, it does.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:58 (twenty years ago)

Yes. Another chorus line ends in "willow."

Is it just me or is the video not actually that funny?

(feel free to delete the word "that" as appropriate)

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:58 (twenty years ago)

yes.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:58 (twenty years ago)

"when I woke up, I discovered I'd eaten my pillow"

crossposts

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:59 (twenty years ago)

This is going to supercede that Hey..! Baby....! thing as the kebab-handed students way of waking the neigbourhood. A change is definitely not as good as a rest.

― A / F#m / Bm / D (Lynskey), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 11:59 (twenty years ago)

There's his girlfriend, church bells, highways going there, but what keeps him going through bad weather is an open plain. I dunno.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:01 (twenty years ago)

Oh god, "Hey Baby"... I'm pretty sure that shit being sung by pissed students back from cheese nights has cost this country more sleephours than newborn babies and speed combined.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:01 (twenty years ago)

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/41007000/jpg/_41007591_girls300.jpg

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/vote_2005/frontpage/4420385.stm

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:02 (twenty years ago)

Used to hear it every Saturday night coming back into Gloucester Green Station on the Oxford Tube. And all the way down Park End Street...

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:03 (twenty years ago)

I thought that looked like Andrew Neil..

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:04 (twenty years ago)

I am worried about ending up looking like Andrew Neil.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:06 (twenty years ago)

Oh god, "Hey Baby"... I'm pretty sure that shit being sung by pissed students back from cheese nights has cost this country more sleephours than newborn babies and speed combined.

I once went absolutely MENTAL at a group of pissed rugby lads bellowing that fucking song out as they staggered past my window at 3am or something. I threw a frying pan very, very hard at them and they ran off laughing.

Re: 'Amarillo', I am just very glad that I no longer live near any students whatsoever. Flay the fuckers.

I don't think the song is indicative of much more than how bad people's sense of humour is, and that's hardly a surprise (see: British comedy since...ever).

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:17 (twenty years ago)

I just don't see how Ronnie Corbett falling off a running machine is particularly chucklesome.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:19 (twenty years ago)

the Kosovan dudes I used to live above in Kensingbush a few years back blasted 'Hey Baby' out EVERY SINGLE DAY during that Summer.

― $V£N! (blueski), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:24 (twenty years ago)

I just don't see how Ronnie Corbett ~~falling off a running machine~~ is particularly chucklesome.

― $V£N! (blueski), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:25 (twenty years ago)

Nobody has better comedy fiddles than Corbett.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:28 (twenty years ago)

Four candles!

I play a man who loses his bearings!

No, me neither.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:29 (twenty years ago)

I can't believe we're hating on Four Candles.

"Ball hooks!"

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:30 (twenty years ago)

I think the video is funny.

I think Ronnie Corbett is funny.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:31 (twenty years ago)

I think Shelley out of Corrie is far hotter in the video than she is in Corrie (where she looks like Dougal out of the Magic Roundabout).

Os for the gate. Mon repose. Letter Os.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:34 (twenty years ago)

The video suffers from repetition; two viewings would have been enough. I will freely admit to being enchanted by it on the first viewing, but then I was v.v.pissed & stoned and in a room full of friends all in much the same state.

Anyway, it's a participative thing... the people buying it have either had participative experiences with it, or else are buying it to achieve participation by proxy. Meaning that those who are unable/unwilling to particpate will find it increasingly irritating; after all, everyone hates the sound of a loud party across the street.

― mike t-diva (mike t-diva), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:42 (twenty years ago)

Comic Relief songs are never funny.

― dog latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:43 (twenty years ago)

That is Shakin' Stevens on the video, right? Took me a few weeks to work that one out. Also thought that Shelleh off Correh was Isla St. Clair - there is a similarity...

― mike t-diva (mike t-diva), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:44 (twenty years ago)

Let's list the ones we can remember

Pet Shop Boys - "Absolutely Fabulous" - basically sounds like an insert for the show with a really rubbish chorus and Pet Shop-by-numbers backing track.

Hale & Pace "The Stonk" - it's by Hale & Pace so it's not going to be any good is it? This is probably the worst number one in history isn't it?

― dog latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:45 (twenty years ago)

You forgot "Living Doll" by Cliff Richard and the Young Ones.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:47 (twenty years ago)

"Help" by French & Saunders/Bananarama. Oh, my aching sides.

"Spirit In The Sky" by Gareth Gates & The Kumars.

"When The Going Gets Tough" by Boyzone (or was it Westlife - CBATG).

― mike t-diva (mike t-diva), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:52 (twenty years ago)

[shoots self at the sheer unfunniness of it all]

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:55 (twenty years ago)

(xpost)

No you're right it was Boyzone. Westlife did "Uptown Girl."

And let's not forget (try as I might) the beyond-ghastly "Stick It Out" by Right Said Fred "and Friends" (i.e. Jools Boogie Woogie Piano Magic Beelzebub Holland). Now I had a lot of time for RSF but with this offering time suddenly ran out.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:56 (twenty years ago)

I thought the Cliff/Young Ones 'Livin Doll' was hilarious at the time. I was 6 or 7 of course. Even today it's clearly better than everything else listed here.

― $V£N! (blueski), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 12:57 (twenty years ago)

What about that thing with Cher and Chrissie Hynde and Neneh Cherry - "Love Can Build A Bridge" - was that for Comic Relief? Whatever, it was unintentionally funny.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 13:00 (twenty years ago)

ronnie corbett is funny.

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 13:39 (twenty years ago)

'course, if it weren't for Amarillo and the Elvis re-releases, then we'd be looking at Mario's third week at number one. Let's not forget who the real victim is here.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 13:48 (twenty years ago)

More "comic" relief:
"Elected" - Mr Bean and Bruce Dickinson. Awful.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 13:52 (twenty years ago)

stop it with the shit songs! seriously, my mind has blanked these out - with good reason. now they're all flooding back, and i'm coming dangerously close to jacking in my job and becoming an arms dealer to the developing world.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 14:00 (twenty years ago)

although in fairness: elected wasn't a fundraiser, was it? just a stupid novelty hit?

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 14:01 (twenty years ago)

They made a huge mistake by not basing the video round people doing the slosh wouldn't you say, Marcello? (probably the only person here who knows what the slosh is)

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 14:09 (twenty years ago)

It was a Comic Relief single. I suppose it wasn't strictly a "fundraiser" in that no-one bought it.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 14:09 (twenty years ago)

hahahah. see, gerry: your little joke there made me laugh more than any comic relief song ever.

as for the slosh: let us never speak of it here again. please.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 14:24 (twenty years ago)

"Help" by French & Saunders/Bananarama. Oh, my aching sides.

This was the first single I ever bought. The third comedienneenenene was Kathy Burke. She wasn't really famous back then.

"The Stonk" was a double a-side with "The Smile Song" by Victora Wood. At the time I thought this was the funniest/'cleverest' record ever made, so obviously everyone was really buying it for this. Yes.

― Alex in Doncaster (Alex in Doncaster), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 14:41 (twenty years ago)

I remember when RSFred came back with "Bumped" as their new single. "Yeah, better than "Stick it out" innit" shouted Richard F somewhere in the middle of doing this on Swapshop, or whatever. Whole audience coughed and looked away....

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 14:45 (twenty years ago)

Only in the same way that a kick in the nads is better than being sat on for half an hour by a sweating Sumo champion.

― $V£N! (blueski), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 14:48 (twenty years ago)

(xpost)

"Help" by French & Saunders/Bananarama.

My mind has edited out most of the French & Saunders (And Kathy Burke?) bits of this, leaving a pleasant confection.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 14:49 (twenty years ago)

..which was the b-side if i rememmmm

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 14:53 (twenty years ago)

"The Smile Song" by Victora Wood

what the bloody hell was this, then?

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 13 April 2005 14:54 (twenty years ago)

The Smile Song:

There are days you feel like giving in,
When you're right down on the ground.
In this world in which we're living in,
So much sorrow all around.
Let's have a day to make it better.

Let us set each other free.
Nothing bad, nothing sad, nothing Dreary,
This is how it's going to be.

No Kylie, no Jason,
No toothpaste round the basin.
By golly,
We're jolly.
Jolly's what we are.
No slimming, no jogging,
No slurping public snogging.
We're after
Some laughter.
Ha ha ha ha ha!

No coughing, no spitting,
No pink acrylic knitting,
No niggles.
Just giggles,
As we sing our song.
No rainhoods, no brollies,
No tartan shopping trollies.
We mortals
Need chortles
As we go along.

Chorus:
Take a little step along the highway.
Hold a little hand across the road.
Sing a little song. It could be 'My Way',
If it helps your load.

No plumbing, no stopcocks,
No cornflakes down your popsocks,
No drilling,
No filling,
This is our advice.
No ranch-style new houses,
No see-through tie-neck blouses.
Let Monday
Be fun day.
Tuesday's just as nice.

No vampires with cloaks on,
No ladies' pants with jokes on,
No moaning,
No groaning.
That's not how it's done.
No picking it, no poking it,
No putting it in your pipe and smoking it.
Be merry.
Be very
Keen to have some fun.

Chorus:
Take a little step along the highway.
Hold a little hand across the road.
Sing a little song. It could be 'My Way',
If it helps your load.

No pads on your shoulders,
No crocheted loo roll holders,
No crying,
No sighing.
Let fun be your friend.
No spoilsport, no martyr,
No 'I only had the starter',
No hurry,
No worry.
We're all dead in the end.

No Renees, no Myrtles,
No stupid mutant turtles,
No doom and
No gloom and
Not a frown in sight.
No Hampstead, no Harlow,
No sex scenes with Ken Barlow.
Be larky.
Be sparky.
Let's be merry and bright.

Chorus:
Take a little step along the highway.
Hold a little hand across the road.
Sing a little song. It could be 'My Way',
If it helps your load.

No summits, no NATO,
No instant mashed potato.
Just winkle
A twinkle
From that gloomy face.
No DJs, no jingles,
No dreadful charity singles.
Teeth gleaming,
Get beaming
And smile all over the place.

― Chriddof (Chriddof), Thursday, 14 April 2005 01:11 (twenty years ago)

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