TS: The Cars versus The Police

As great as the Cars could be, they can't touch the Police.

Sorry, the Police positively pistol-whip the Cars.

Winner = Cars.

The Police will come out on top over any other "New Wave" band. Never bother attempting to compare The Police with any band from that era. They should win every time.
Bah! Talking Heads > Police.

Admittedly it's 3 in the morning here, but I've just laughed so hard I've pissed myself.

Those are some good opening lines to a song that demonstrate Sting's intelligence, so bah to

"Admittedly it's 3 in the morning here, but I've just laughed so hard I've pissed myself."

and

""Canary in a Coalmine" shouldn't even have been included on the album, let alone have been a single."

the police = would've been spyro gyra had they not sprayed their hair punk-blond for that TV commercial.

the police never did anything that bad (sting, on the other hand, ...)

Also note great use of Cars in TV/movie soundtracks- Fast Times At Ridgemont High, Freaks and Geeks

The first of Eisbär's last two posts OTM.

First Albums:
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000002GWB.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000002GDH.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

Okay, on the left, we have the Cars debut. Laughing/screaming woman holding a steering wheel (geddit? they're...Cars!) with upper arm extended. Is she happy? Is she careening out of control and screaming? The rear cover shot of the boys in the band caught in the middle of a road like deer in the headlights suggests the latter. in any case, it's a suitably plastic, pop-arty image for the record in question. Very much of its time. On the right, Outlandos D'Amour (and we could base an entire thread about how fucking lame the first few Police album titles were -- supposedly all dreamed up by manager Miles Copeland). Stark black background. The boys in their bottled blonde glory. Steward looking pugish. Andy looking slightly sedated. Sting looking, well, a bit fey, really. The whole look is a bit cliched, and....well...dull, really. It doesn't say very much. WINNER: THE CARS.

Second albums:
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00008BRDX.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg http://80music.about.com/library/artist/images/candy-o.jpg

On the left, Regatta de Blanc by the Police. Same problem as their first sleeve, really: boring portraits (and what's up with Sting's giant head there? Is he missing the right part of his cranium? How else would Andy's be visible? It's a freakshow, and not a very compelling one either. On the right...whoa nelly, Candy-O by the Cars. Iconic. Sexy redhead splayed out sumputously on the hood of a sportscar (sticking with a motif). I remember my friend from the down the street raving about this record that I had to hear. I came over and saw the sleeve. Man, who cared what it sounded like...LOOK AT THOSE!. CLEAR WINNER: CANDY-O.

Third albums:
http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drc500/c533/c5339594jq4.jpg http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drf800/f801/f80118v9y9f.jpg

On the left, Panorama by the Cars. What's this? NO BABE? Perhaps smarting from accusations of lechery from their previous sleeve, the Cars stick with an automotive motif and go with a checkered flag, but strip away the babe quotient. Coincidentally, it's their least celebrated record. Drummer Dave Robinson is also incongruously depicted on the rear of the sleeve brandishing a guitar. On the right, Zenyatta Mondatta. Despite faux-exotic typeface and garish colors, it's a warmer depiction of this band as has been seen. Back cover photo montage of band cavorting in different locales adds to mystique. Not a huge leap forward, but better. WINNER:ZENYATTA MONDATTA

Fourth Albums.
http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drf800/f801/f80120oga17.jpg http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drc500/c589/c589878pta6.jpg
On the left, Ghost in the Machine. The boys abandon photography in favor of icily futuristic digital rendering (oblvious to the notion that it would look wildly dated in under a decade's time). Stark. Mysterious. Ominous. Some people don't even recognize that it's a depiction of the band. On the right, Shake It Up. It's back to girls and partying for the Boston boys, with a small variation on their debut cover, this time abandoning Car allusions. Uninspired. WINNER: GHOST IN THE MACHINE.

Fifth Albums...
http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drc400/c498/c498814akao.jpg http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drf700/f769/f76994hxdrb.jpg
On the left, Heartbeat City with a sleeve that is frankly unmemorable. Auto parts and T&A again. Hurrah. The worst of their album art, despite it being one of their more successful records. On the right, Synchronicity. A busy, high concept sleeve almost worhty of vintate Hipgnosis (before they too went crap). If I recall correctly, there may have even been different versions. Certainly pretentiious (Sting is seen reading Jung in one frame,.....OKAY, WE GET IT...YOU'RE AN INTELLECTUAL!. Still more compelling that its Cars opponent. WINNER: SYNCHRONICITY.

The Police failed to deliver any more studio albums after this, so it ends here. But Alex, what about the final Cars album? You mean Door to Door?

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drc800/c841/c841870nfqj.jpg

Well, let's just say it perfectly matched the music it sheathed.

WINNER: THE MOTHERFUCKING CARS

The Cars > Outlandos D'Amour (Cars = Single solidest LP of these 10)
Regatta Du Blanc > Candy-O
Panorama > Zenyatta Mondatta (Panorama = Most underrated LP here)
Ghost In The Machine > Shake It Up (Tho both are pretty weak)
Synchronicity Heartbeat City (Tho both are even weaker. Plus I'm sick to fucking death of each one of their dozen-or-so hit singles.)

Musicianship: Police
Singing: Cars
Songwriting: Tie!
Production: Cars
Most Annoying: Sting
Wild Card: Greg Hawkes

Winner: The Police, barely.

So, is "Door to Door" really that bad?

"The Cars" and "Candy-O" should be considered as one of the best 1,2 punches from any rock band. Ric Ocasek had such a sensational knack for song structure right out of the gate and that gift combined with Roy Thomas Baker on the boards- you had magic (no pun intended). OTOH, while the first couple of Police platters had their moments, more than a few weak tunes lurked on there. Sting earned points by sporting blond locks and a rebel sensibility that the camera loved. The Cars were boring and awkward, and I think their fans always liked it that way. Sting wanted to be a star. Ocasek just wanted to write songs and make money so he could stay home and listen to records.

Anyone on this board who doesn't know "Panorama" needs to know it. I've always felt that Roy Thomas Baker was a genius that seemed to always know how to take producing to that last possible edge before overproduction would ruin the work. "Panorama" is a perfect illustration of this. It's washed full of textures and strange nuances throughout that whether you like the band or not are worth a listen for any pop/rock music enthusiast. Ocasek is often known for putting together out-of-time arrangements and they are common on here. On "Zenyatta", Sting seemed to be finding his songwriting groove BUT "De Do Do Do De Da Da Da"?? That's all I want to say to you.

(BTW, the "Panorama" back cover is brillant- it fits the music inside perfectly- I heard somewhere it was inspired by a Roxy Music sleeve.)

I do love "Ghost in the Machine" and in retrospect it seems The Cars lost some speed at "Shake It Up." I've always felt that often when The Cars try to be too fun on record or on video (e.g. Shake It Up, You Are The Girl are examples that come to mind) it would come across as kind of clumsy where The Police seemed to always be able to pull it off. There were moments on the "Shake It Up" album that seem to force zany overtones rather than letting them happen as they did on earlier recordings. It might be that The Cars were REALLY trying to be bigger stars by 1981 and The Police were now driving a bit faster. Who knows? At this juncture, The Police were passing in the left lane- if nothing other than embracing their sense of humor rather than forcing one to emerge.

"Heartbeat City vs Syncronicity"- The Police joint is for all purposes, a masterpiece and the Cars record is pretty damn perfect. They both reflected the pop/rock landscape at the time and both deserve all due respect. I pose just one question here- Elegance or Quirkiness? Audi or AMC? Museum Of Modern Art or a Lower East Side Gallery? I think The Cars did such a great job at maintaining an integrity to being wierd (which we all know can be quite challenging by your 5th record- HI WEEZER!) while Sting seemed continued to do whatever it took maximize the distance further from those dirty London streets and Gordon Sumner. Lucky for us, some fantastic art made it to the our ears. 5 vs 5- I call a draw. You can either hang with the misfits or ride with the cops.

"Door To Door" always sounded to me like Ocasek was crashing The Cars on purpose. Ironically, they broke up right after.

I think I'll go with The Cars.

http://www.connollyco.com/discography/cars/panoramabc.jpg

is probably based on....

ihttp://tachyonic.net/roxy/pics/roxy_band0.jpg

I saw this and it was entertaining yet only medium-bizarre. Iggy was workmanlike-geeky though the image of Alan Vega blurting "Dream Baby Dream" through some guazy filters looked like a nightmare-in-progress. Cool but not as weird as Bowie's 1980 Floor Show episode from five years before, or the infamous 73 show w/ Mott & NY Dolls.

B-b-but Elliot Easton is one of pop music's finest EVAH lead guitarists!

....who is now playing in a CCR cover band, and is a technogeek audiophile of the highest order.

http://www.billboard.com/bb/daily/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1000853978