Paul Morley lays into Oasis in the Independent

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Oasis: Mad for it? Not me
Liam and Noel's new album is being hailed as a return to their former glory. For Paul Morley though, Oasis will always be a parody of themselves - or at least a parody of a band that wants to be the Beatles
05 May 2005

I confess that, in my carefully selected and supremely expert list of the top 50 post-punk Manchester bands, Oasis are placed well into the lower half, round about number 47, just below Northside, and just above Simply Red. Without Liam's voice snarling into Noel's mushy, complacent rhymes, they would be firmly planted at number 50: the kind of sentimentalised, four-square, anti-art, anti-thought, rock and/or roll band that the Buzzcocks and The Fall formed in opposition to.

I always felt that they were not even as Quo as rumoured, not as Mott as I would have liked, and more ELO than Beatles, more Lynne than Lennon. It all came down to a camp haircut, a comedy walk and a way with swearwords that seemed more Bernard Manning than Iggy Pop. I am the man who, when asked his opinion about Oasis, likes to quote Morrissey (always good for a line when you need to adopt a pose of withering, but accurate, condescension and scorn): "a couple of painter and decorators from Burnage."

Their music always seemed a botch-job - the colours were fine, if a little too bright, the wallpaper was obviously knocked off but had a nice English pattern, and they got the job done without much fuss. Very quickly, though, the paper peeled, you noticed the brush marks in the paint, the greasy fingerprints, and the terrible mess around the skirting boards.

I was unmoved when they were cited as saviours by the Brit-hailers thrilled that "naughty" Oasis represented a return to the point of rock and roll as a rebel yell involving the use of riffs, rants, rudeness and all round mock-cockiness. Oasis seemed designed by a mid-1990s rockist committee desperate to conceive a simple-minded rock'n'roll band with a tidy messiah complex, faking faded psychedelia, and daintily echoing the appealing cuddly-druggy lines of the Beatles: a rock group out of a world where the Cavern opened up onto Carnaby Street and the guys wore Union Jack jackets and the girls wore pretty little things because they were pretty little things who made you go all lovey-dovey. John Steed would be their manager, David Bailey snap them, and Harold Wilson give them gongs. All would be well with the world, and the 21st century would be as conservatively fab as the 1960s.

It was a formula that was destined to swiftly date, to become embarrassing. It was a formula that meant the group could never progress musically: they would stay rooted to the spot, their gigs a musical tribute to the old days of Oasis, where grouchy old-timers gamely represented the good old days.

The all-new, all-old, Oasis now seem to have found their nice, 47th-best post-punk Manchester place, as a stubborn, hard-working nostalgia-group, nostalgic for a Brit-hyped 1995 that was itself nostalgic for a Brit-swinging 1965.They were defined by Millennium-fearing fundamentalist rock critics as royal protectors of rock's holy legacy, as a glamorous entity redefining rock's codes and conduct. But, really, they were just a warm mug of artificially flavoured milky memories, passing quaint old-fashioned music through a post-punk, post-rave, post-Thatcher filter.

They suit being the failed prophets reduced to grumpily parodying their moodiness and smugness mainly because they always seemed a parody of themselves, or at least a parody of a band who wanted to be the Beatles but knew the ghost of Johnny Rotten would disapprove.

Their latest music shows how they continue to gnaw bits even from themselves, so that the new single, "Lyla", is craven Clapton, slightly Sladey, a little Stonesy - pebbly really - and also comes with some of the ash and stale-beer of "Cigarettes and Alcohol" and a splinter of the shyster swagger of "Roll With It". It also comes complete with some of the forlorn, fraudulent edginess of other recent Oasis attempts to rekindle their former glory.

I am mildly tempted to improve Oasis's position in the Manchester post-punk top 50 now that they have become rather poignant yesterday's men, with a band full of solemn looking session musicians, and a quality of premature middle-aged melancholy. For all the tetchy pride and surly self-confidence they continue to project, they seem trapped by their reputations both as mythical monsters and prosaic plagiarists. The top dogs have become underdogs, the obnoxious outsiders turned into tamed entertainers.

They have sunk into a world that is more Heat than NME, even as the NME itself is more Heat than NME. Seeing the little scamp Liam being interviewed by the son of Judith Chalmers on the ITV2 coverage of Hell's Kitchen seemed to confirm how Oasis have swung away from the rock'n'roll hall of fame towards the I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here wood - away from a respectable position in the mainstream rock hierarchy to a little novelty perch on the margins.

Even in their prime they seemed like a museum piece, and their museum-like quality increases each time they contrive a comeback. They are now doomed to forever recycle themselves and their own coarse recycling of rock history. Carry on, Oasis.

― paul c (paul c), Thursday, 5 May 2005 15:10 (twenty-one years ago)

OK OK, but 'Keep the Dream Alive' is the most fun track from them in years I think.

― 57 7th (calstars), Thursday, 5 May 2005 15:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Hehehe. Lovely stuff from Morley there. :-) It's a fine distillation of much accuracy!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 5 May 2005 15:17 (twenty-one years ago)

jeez i spent 20p on that...

― elwisty (elwisty), Thursday, 5 May 2005 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm sure he's right - stopped clocks and so on - but I can't wait for round two!

― Soukesian, Thursday, 5 May 2005 15:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I didn't know Judith Chalmers had a son who was on the telly.

That is all I have learned from this piece.

It was entertaining though.

About as entertaining as I expect the record to be.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller), Thursday, 5 May 2005 16:07 (twenty-one years ago)

All the Oasis hate seems so over the top. The new album is bad, they haven't been very good in a long time, but jeesh, they still might currently be the most underrated band in music.

― Burr (Burr), Thursday, 5 May 2005 20:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Morely puts Great White Shark into goldfish bowl. Shoots shark. Hilarity ensues.

― TV's Mr Noodle Vague (noodle vague), Friday, 6 May 2005 02:10 (twenty-one years ago)

the most underrated band in music.

the level to which they rate themselves makes this almost impossible

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Friday, 6 May 2005 02:13 (twenty-one years ago)

What I don't understand is how Noel can figure out how to rework "Dear Prudence" into great pop songs and then completely forget how to repeat that. I'm thinking he should start aping Oasis circa Morning Glory and at least do something with a pretty sing-a-long melody.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Friday, 6 May 2005 02:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Who is Paul Morely ??? Who are Oasis ???

I know the answer !

Nobody knows Paul !

Poor bitter little man i think !

― oasis fan, Friday, 6 May 2005 11:59 (twenty-one years ago)

WHO ARE THE OTHER 46

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 6 May 2005 12:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Very quickly, though, the paper peeled, you noticed the brush marks in the paint, the greasy fingerprints, and the terrible mess around the skirting boards.

That bit about the skirting boards tickled me

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 6 May 2005 12:04 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah so who does paul morely like these days then? anyone that isnt retro-rock?

― rock, Friday, 6 May 2005 12:04 (twenty-one years ago)

He apparently doesn't like Abba.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 6 May 2005 12:07 (twenty-one years ago)

He slags off ELO in this article too - he's not very ILM is he?

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 6 May 2005 12:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I was slagging off Oasis in 1994 [along with Jaz Coleman] ! Morley is 11 years late !

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Friday, 6 May 2005 12:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Oasis sounding like ELO would have been perfectly fine. Strip away those overdrive guitars and add some cellos and vocal harmonies instead :-)

Other than that, the entire idea that music needs to "evolve" is pathetic, thus the entire attack on Oasis is pathetic. Oasis needs to be valued on their own genre's premises, that is, the quality of their melodies, not from whether they change the world or not. Oasis have never aimed at changing the world, and none of their fans want a band that changes the world either.

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Friday, 6 May 2005 12:13 (twenty-one years ago)

I read TWO Oasis articles in Mo-Jo on the train this morning. I was hoping to have it large vicariously, but no.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller), Friday, 6 May 2005 12:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Morley is just bitter because Oasis are still selling records, at least to some extent, while Frankie Goes To Hollywood and Art Of Noise have been nowhere for the past 15 years.

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Friday, 6 May 2005 12:15 (twenty-one years ago)

isnt it stupid comparing oasis to buzzcocks and the fall? totally different sound, different infleunces, diff intent, style, etc. plus they arrived FIFTEEN years after post punk, why on earth would he expect oasis to live up to the supposed promise of post punk? at least oasis write some decent, if derivative, tunes. i bet all these old codgers agreeing with morley prob havent liked rock in years or only like retro bands anyway. oasis are such an easy target. and truth be told, where ARE all the bands theyve infleunced exactly? someone point me to what terible influence theyve actually had cos all this retro bollocks was happening before oasis.

― rock, Friday, 6 May 2005 12:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Morley is just bitter because he's been paid money by the Independent to be bitter, even though he's inadvertently promoting the new Oasis album by doing so. Still you can't blame him - those Art of Noise royalties don't last forever.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 6 May 2005 12:18 (twenty-one years ago)

oasis are such an easy target. and truth be told, where ARE all the bands theyve infleunced exactly?

Cast, Shed Seven, Hurricane #1, Heavy Stereo and Northern Uproar faded rather quickly (well, a couple of their key members did, indeed, join Oasis).
Travis changed their style, into a catchy and pop oriented Radiohead, and sound nothing like Oasis anymore like they did on their debut. Their new style has proved more efficient both commercially and artistically btw.

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Friday, 6 May 2005 12:19 (twenty-one years ago)

nothing wrong with being bitter, i welcome is seeing as most journalism in music these days is utterly devoid of critique, but at least be bitter at something for a reason. perhaps hes bitter cos i only ever see him in one blazer and t-shirt and jeans combo the entire time ;). i bet the new oasis album is actually, quite good. morely can keep wanking over the fall and joy division all he likes, that period is OVER my man. instead of bitterly blathering on about one of the best singers this country has in rock (liam), why not find something new and exciting to write about? write about tv on the radio, animal collective, someone like that. the adventurous spirit of music is still out there mr morley.

on their last single, travis sounded like the strokes. and i prefered it muchly to their folk grey dreariness.

― rock, Friday, 6 May 2005 12:22 (twenty-one years ago)

also how boring to say oasis are just a beatles rip off band, yeah theyre thieves, but they dont actally *sound* identical to the beatles, theyve always sounded more like a lumbering, artless, meat and potatoes 70s band. theyve got none of the energy of the beatles.

― rock, Friday, 6 May 2005 12:24 (twenty-one years ago)

tired lazy journalism by a tired lazy aging journalist....why the opinion of a bitter 50 something former nme hack would have any relevance to any cunt is beyond me

― Lozkin, Friday, 6 May 2005 12:27 (twenty-one years ago)

morley should interview liam! "I'm in the car with Liam, driving towards the city, the city of technology and music and the future and the past and the ying and the yang, and Liam is driving us there, and we're going to the pub."

― haitch (haitch), Friday, 6 May 2005 12:28 (twenty-one years ago)

What would Liam say to Merzbow?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 6 May 2005 12:29 (twenty-one years ago)

"Fuck off, Merzbow."

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Friday, 6 May 2005 12:30 (twenty-one years ago)

morley has redefined post-punk. it means anything that came after punk. excellent. fwiw, i don't like oasis as much as art of noise, but i probably like them more than frankie goes to hollywood. the article was written in 1994, and although some people say it is the best article of 2005, they also said it was the best article written in 1994, 1995, 1997, 2000, and 2002.

― N_RQ, Friday, 6 May 2005 12:31 (twenty-one years ago)

In 2005 Oasis are just a big bloated irrelevance.

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Friday, 6 May 2005 12:32 (twenty-one years ago)

No, William, you'll have to do better than that if you're going to be the next Paul Morley.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 6 May 2005 12:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Give me the Krypton Factor Title Theme over 'Lyla' any day.

― $V£N! (blueski), Friday, 6 May 2005 12:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Oasis are dire. Anything anyone says criticising them is more worthy than they are. Oasis represent everything bad about British music.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 6 May 2005 12:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I am sorry to say that I think this is bull. Oasis rocks! Yes, they sound like the Beatles. But if you have to sound like anything,you can better sound like the best band in the world! Slagging Oasis off is just way too easy. So what they sound like a 60's band? They've got good lyrics, nice vocals and a generally good sound. As Paul McCartney said: 'I see it as a great compliment that these kids are ripping off what we were doing 30 years ago.' And hey, if Macca says it... It's good they're doing that, because the music that is being made right now is so incredibly lame and shallow. I'd rather listen to a band that's fairly original and using a few Beatles tunes and lyrics than listening to those fuckers from Pop-Idol and Robbie Williams rape the whole idea of Pop-rock music.

― Johnny, Friday, 6 May 2005 12:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Johnny, you know us too well. "Yes, they sound like the Beatles." Do they Johnny? Do they really?

― N_RQ, Friday, 6 May 2005 12:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Nice to have Nick Hornby on ILM at long last! Hey Nick, what about Devils and Dust, then, right, because, you know, it's like, I don't know, Kate Adie in Green Lanes, and you've got five Maltesers and your life's falling apart?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 6 May 2005 12:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Hmmm. There are a lot of Oasis fans on Google these days, aren't there? ;)

Oasis are a great band, hopefully still capable of making some great records. Morley attacks their entire genre, which I don't accept, but I have to say that there are a bunch of the same kind of bands from the same generation that 1. write better songs than Oasis 2. have a more sophisticated and interesting production than Oasis 3. are way less arrogant and more sympathetic than Liam Gallagher.

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Friday, 6 May 2005 12:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Ronan massively otm.

Oasis are the worst band I've ever, ever heard. And they've ALWAYS been a fucking abomination, possibly even more so at their 'peak' because then it was very hard to ignore them.

― The Lex (The Lex), Friday, 6 May 2005 12:53 (twenty-one years ago)

i though they were fine up to 'some might say' THERE I SAID IT.

― N_RQ, Friday, 6 May 2005 12:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Well now that musical dinosaur has slagged off Oasis I like them even more, musical snobs that bleat about arty nonsense, oasis are about spirit and enjoying the music/the times. The fact that they combine all these influences makes them original a fact that escapes most!! The new album will suprise alot of smug narrowminded people!

― Rob Tattersall, Friday, 6 May 2005 12:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I wonder if what we have here is a message board incident or our old pal Internet Connection Sharing...

― Tom (Groke), Friday, 6 May 2005 12:58 (twenty-one years ago)

i thought morley was a bit snide about the 60s and its conservative fabness.

― N_RQ, Friday, 6 May 2005 13:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Robbie Williams and Guy Chambers ripped off The Beatles more effectively than Oasis.

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Friday, 6 May 2005 13:11 (twenty-one years ago)

On, "Morning Glory", Oasis ripped off The Beatles quite effeciently. Without that album, Chewshabadoo would have been OTM.

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Friday, 6 May 2005 13:12 (twenty-one years ago)

i have actually listened to the beatles and oasis sound fuck-all like them.

― N_RQ, Friday, 6 May 2005 13:13 (twenty-one years ago)

i though they were fine up to 'some might say' THERE I SAID IT.
-- N_RQ (bl0cke...), May 6th, 2005 2:56 PM. (later)

That about covers it for me too. They've bored the pants out of me since then. I just heard "Stop crying your heart out" in the supermarket, shite.

― Colonel Poo (Colonel Poo), Friday, 6 May 2005 13:14 (twenty-one years ago)

that comparison puzzles me as well.

xpost

― lauren (laurenp), Friday, 6 May 2005 13:15 (twenty-one years ago)

The new album will suprise alot of smug narrowminded people!

What, in that it will be even worse than we dared to imagine? At least nobody here can ever be as smug and narrow-minded as the Gallagher brothers.

― $V£N! (blueski), Friday, 6 May 2005 13:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I like the blatant theft. It's so undisguised and shameless that it makes me chuckle to see them get away with it.

"Lyla" in particular cracks me up. It's like they bunged on 40 Licks for inspiration, and didn't bother getting any further than CD1, Track One, about 15 seconds in. "Yeah, we'll use that bit. Sorted."

And the title! Love it! What's next? Glora? Jula? Ange?

― mike t-diva (mike t-diva), Friday, 6 May 2005 13:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 10 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

You guys really are something, Oasis were, and always have been the best thing in British music since the Stone Roses.
The new album is a change in direction for them, which is a fantastic change in direction granted, I would`ve been happy with more of the same, fuck, even Standing On The Shoulder Of Giants was better than anything else that was released that year, and that`s the poorest Oasis album by far.
Why don`t some of you "know it alls" download the new album and give it a try, you might learn something about good music.
Then again, why would you bother when you can slag off the new album without even hearing it, you bunch of tossers.
Oh yeah, and Don`t Believe The truth is being hailed by critics as the best album they`ve done since MG, fuck me, even Q have given it 4/5 and they fuckin hate Oasis, so you cunts get off your little soapboxes and go listen to some Cliff Richard or something.

You Cocks deserve eachother.

― Stemot, Friday, 6 May 2005 13:41 (twenty-one years ago)

a world where the Cavern opened up onto Carnaby Street and the guys wore Union Jack jackets and the girls wore pretty little things because they were pretty little things who made you go all lovey-dovey. John Steed would be their manager, David Bailey snap them, and Harold Wilson give them gongs

dude, he just described the television personalities!

― debden, Friday, 6 May 2005 13:41 (twenty-one years ago)

woah -- q likes it? ILM RETHINK TIME.

― N_RQ, Friday, 6 May 2005 13:44 (twenty-one years ago)

i can't believe Stemot is the same age as me.

― $V£N! (blueski), Friday, 6 May 2005 13:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I think a few people on this thread are in the wrong music forum:

try:

http://www.rubbishtradrockgotoQmagazineforum.co.uk
or
http://www.listentovirginradioalldayforumformainstreamtradrockfans.co.uk
or
http://www.chrisevanspresentsoasisrockretrofansforum.co.uk

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Friday, 6 May 2005 14:01 (twenty-one years ago)

ilx is a broad church!

― N_RQ, Friday, 6 May 2005 14:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Hmmm... well, I would listen to the album, but I've been bitten by that line of argument with albums of theirs before. Their albums have never convinced me before, and I doubt they will now - in the meantime there has probably been at least 20 hours of music produced this week that is vying for my attention, and I have work and a semblance of a life to fill in the rest of my time, so... better not, eh?

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Friday, 6 May 2005 14:12 (twenty-one years ago)

'lyla' is one of the weakest comeback singles i've ever heard. period. it doesn't even have a tune, which for oasis leaves you with little else by way of aural pleasure.

― N_RQ, Friday, 6 May 2005 14:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Who Let The Dolts Out?

Are some regulars having Hot Troll Fun here, or did a bunch of prematurely middle-aged music haters just wander in from their student disco?

Oasis are Anti-Music, a black hole of suckitude so vast and dense that fun and excitement cannot escape it. Their fans have no interest in music, don't even listen to it in fact, preferring to celebrate "realness", "spirit" and "ten bob chip suppers". Sentimental Coronation Street Picture Postcard Kitchen Sink Working Class Nostalgia for Posh Kids Slumming It. There's more wit, danger and beauty in one George Formby chord than in the Gallagher brothers' worthless lives. You witless caricature cunts.

― TV's Mr Noodle Vague (noodle vague), Friday, 6 May 2005 14:23 (twenty-one years ago)

where the hell did these oasis lovers come from? didn't you read the sign over the ilx door?

this board has hit rock bottom.

― ja (_ja_), Friday, 6 May 2005 14:30 (twenty-one years ago)

mind you i thought my world had collapsed when i found myself loving the recent stereophonics single (ha!) - so the odds of finding an oasis song even slightly interesting have moved from 0 to 0.000000001

― ja (_ja_), Friday, 6 May 2005 14:34 (twenty-one years ago)

yessss! the U.K. gets its own version of the "Dave Matthews: Name Your Reasons etc" thread. i'll be back for the 2000th post.

― Dave M. (rotten03), Friday, 6 May 2005 14:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Oasis: Name Your Reasons Why They Are So Mad For It and Hated.

― TV's Mr Noodle Vague (noodle vague), Friday, 6 May 2005 14:41 (twenty-one years ago)

i am shocked and stunned oasis have any fans left. i was one ffs but wasn't it obvious when 'all around the world' came out that... this thing was fkn *over*? key change, choir: and to my mind they'd been sucking for a few years even before *that*.

― N_RQ, Friday, 6 May 2005 14:47 (twenty-one years ago)

"Oasis were, and always have been the best thing in British music since the Stone Roses."

I have a sneaking suspicion that our tastes in music may not be entirely compatible.

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Friday, 6 May 2005 14:49 (twenty-one years ago)

When did the Roses-Wasis succession become this gospel article of faith among a particular rock tribe?

― Tom (Groke), Friday, 6 May 2005 14:52 (twenty-one years ago)

it probably coalesced in the pages of select.

they were always repulsive. i have often tried to verbalise my hatred for them but never really suceeded in doing so. i don't think morley really does a good job of describing their true moronic awfulness either. also, noel looks like an action man.

― debden, Friday, 6 May 2005 14:56 (twenty-one years ago)

When Noel told them it was true. Admitting the key influence of the Kursaal Flyers would've only confused them.

― TV's Mr Noodle Vague (noodle vague), Friday, 6 May 2005 14:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Tom, one word: Burnweed.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 6 May 2005 14:59 (twenty-one years ago)

"When did the Roses-Wasis succession become this gospel article of faith among a particular rock tribe?"

And why are all adherents to this new faith required to walk at all times as if they've recently filled their own pants with soft shit and to speak at all times in a phoney Manchester accent despite the fact that they actually come from the Home Counties?

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Friday, 6 May 2005 15:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Northside. sweet.

― teekay, Friday, 6 May 2005 15:10 (twenty-one years ago)

It's like they're obsessed with some Earth-2 version of the Stone Roses which didn't make delicate 60s-tinted pop and didn't get into funk and where Ian Brown hasn't ended up writing satirical poetry about politics for the Guardian!!.

― Tom (Groke), Friday, 6 May 2005 15:17 (twenty-one years ago)

and 'imagine', most obviously of all.

"Imagine" hardly at all. The actual song (that, is the vocal melody, the part that Noel sings) in "Don't Look Back In Anger" sounds nothing like "Imagine". Had the song been performed backing only by an accoustic guitar, it would have sounded absolutely nothing like "Imagine".

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Friday, 6 May 2005 16:09 (twenty-one years ago)

DJ Martian and the Oasis-fan googlers are completely out of it both of them.

Oasis do the right thing. Trad rock is the right thing. The world needs traditional melodies performed by good old-fashioned bands in the Beatles tradition once more.

It's just that, apart from "Morning Glory" and part of "Standing On The Shoulder" there are zillions of other current UK acts that do this thing considerably better than Oasis.

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Friday, 6 May 2005 16:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Geir, I disagree with almost everything you have said on this and the various Britpop album threads over the last week ;)

― Teh HoBB (the pirate king), Friday, 6 May 2005 16:19 (twenty-one years ago)

HONGRO - your Referendum Party candidate for Maidstone Central

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Friday, 6 May 2005 17:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Trad rock is the right thing. The world needs traditional melodies performed by good old-fashioned bands in the Beatles tradition once more.
Why be this Geir, do you think it will have a benificial effect on society as a whole?

What is a traitional melody if say Lil John was to sample y'know Pachbel would that be Ok? cos I understand a melody like such would be traditional if Oasis were to sample a field of heifers and fashion a guitar triggered sample would that count or would that not be traditional? Is there a tradition of non traditional? I this non traditional or traditional in virtue of becoming a tradition?

― elwisty (elwisty), Friday, 6 May 2005 17:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Non-melodic music was invented by black people in 1968, apparently.

― TV's Mr Noodle Vague (noodle vague), Friday, 6 May 2005 17:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Why be this Geir, do you think it will have a benificial effect on society as a whole?

I am not interested in what music means or doesn't mean for society. I am interested in music at itself, judged on purely musical reasons. I don't give a damn about anything sociological. Music is only music, only music itself is so huge that music itself is incredible anyway. It doesn't need to be any more than music, since music itself is such a great value.

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Friday, 6 May 2005 18:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Music itself is so huge that we should dismiss the vast majority of it as being unmusical?

― TV's Mr Noodle Vague (noodle vague), Friday, 6 May 2005 18:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Music that needs a certain sosiological context (for instance dancing) to work properly, isn't worthy.

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Friday, 6 May 2005 18:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Sometimes I admire your purism, Geir, but this is utterly ridiculous. Dance music has the same length of history as non(?)dance music. Rhythm has existed as long as melody. There was not some ur-music which was Western European scales and melodies that was polluted or corrupted by crazy modernists. When you refuse to acknowledge the worth of stuff that doesn't fit into your ideal, the most you can say is that you don't like it. It's one historically specific strain, not the wellspring, not the True Music. All Art is not Realism. All Music is not Melody.

― TV's Mr Noodle Vague (noodle vague), Friday, 6 May 2005 19:06 (twenty-one years ago)

For some reason, Geir's behaviour on this thread and on his other "shoot 'em down like ducks" challenge thread is even more annoying than his classic anti-rhythm-and-blues stance.

― Ken L (Ken L), Friday, 6 May 2005 19:15 (twenty-one years ago)

can we get the Earth-2 version in a studio? i think i might like them slightly more, though I am not by any means a Roses hater. actually i think the band you're imagining are in fact the Sultans of Ping FC.

(many xposts. also, DNFTT YOU MORANS)

― Dave M. (rotten03), Friday, 6 May 2005 19:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I would absolutely love it if by some crazed reality warp all Oasis fans would start talking about "the best band since the Sultans, man".

― Tom (Groke), Friday, 6 May 2005 21:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Hopefully, Oasis fans mostly realise that Beatles are bigger. (But, I mean, Liam doesn't, only Noel does. Liam does in fact believe that Oasis are even bigger than The Beatles)

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Friday, 6 May 2005 21:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Music is only music, only music itself is so huge that music itself is incredible anyway. It doesn't need to be any more than music, since music itself is such a great value.

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude. Far out!

― giboyeux (skowly), Friday, 6 May 2005 21:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Sometimes I admire your purism, Geir, but this is utterly ridiculous. Dance music has the same length of history as non(?)dance music. Rhythm has existed as long as melody. There was not some ur-music which was Western European scales and melodies that was polluted or corrupted by crazy modernists. When you refuse to acknowledge the worth of stuff that doesn't fit into your ideal, the most you can say is that you don't like it. It's one historically specific strain, not the wellspring, not the True Music. All Art is not Realism. All Music is not Melody.

Can ILM have a special Geir-button that automatically posts this? Cuz that'd be great.

― giboyeux (skowly), Friday, 6 May 2005 22:00 (twenty-one years ago)

All Music is not Melody.

A lot of today's music is Melody, but it seems the "anti-rockists" are desperate to get rid of what is left of melody, which may be the only explanation for the extremely violent hate against Oasis, Coldplay, Travis, Keane and all things melodic, in spite of the fact that those bands are not the kind of bands that dominate the current Top 40 charts, not at all.

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Friday, 6 May 2005 22:02 (twenty-one years ago)

it seems the "anti-rockists" are desperate to get rid of what is left of melody

You are stupid. This anti-catholic sentiment of yours is bewildering. Nobody's trying to get rid of anything...you forget that this imaginary army of Melody-killing ilxors actually LIKES the Beatles et al. We just also happen to like crunk and noize.

I told myself that I wouldn't get into this again, but you're like this logic-proof melodobot. It is both awesome and terrifying.

― giboyeux (skowly), Friday, 6 May 2005 22:07 (twenty-one years ago)

You forget that this imaginary army of Melody-killing ilxors actually LIKES the Beatles et al.

Last I checked, The Beatles stopped making new music in 1970. When I say trying to kill melody, I mean trying to stop people from writing new songs within the traditional melodic style.

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Friday, 6 May 2005 22:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I mean, the key about melodic music is you have to stop before you get sick of a certain melody, which means you need a new supply of new ones all the time. That's why Travis and Coldplay and Keane are around in 2005.

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Friday, 6 May 2005 22:10 (twenty-one years ago)

What is Morley lisping on about now? Simply Red are far ahead and above Oasis.
I only scan-read the piece but I don't think there was one mention of Brian Eno. This might be a first for old saggy neck.

― David Merryweather (DavidM), Friday, 6 May 2005 22:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Can ILM have a special Geir-button that automatically posts this? Cuz that'd be great
To me Geir showed his true colors when he said he had never heard Jobim.

― Ken L (Ken L), Friday, 6 May 2005 22:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I mean trying to stop people from writing new songs within the traditional melodic style.

"How's it going, kid? Not too well, huh... your dad's unemployed? What's he do? An MC? Really? Humph. It's a rough trade. It's not his fault, though. No, really! It's those goddam MELODY MAKERS. Here, strap this on. Chris Martin's house is right around the corner."

― giboyeux (skowly), Friday, 6 May 2005 22:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Geir said...

Travis changed their style, into a catchy and pop oriented Radiohead

This is quite possibly the silliest thing I have read all year.

― Kris England, Friday, 6 May 2005 22:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Geir is quite clearly the NME in 1989 personified.

― Kris England., Friday, 6 May 2005 22:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Geir, can you start up another of your clay-pigeon shooting threads? I've got an essay to write and I'd like to have something to post pictures of Craig David into to distract me.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 6 May 2005 22:32 (twenty-one years ago)

liam gallagher=austin powers

haha: right said fred SNAP!!

― joey b, Saturday, 7 May 2005 00:09 (twenty years ago)

Funniest thread in ages.

― metalmickey, Saturday, 7 May 2005 16:01 (twenty years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.