that Celine Dion she's a right miserable old bint inshe?

I got to apologise to the tasty Suzie wot I said I would ring up Steve Right Loveday Sunsongs an ask to play Think Twice by the lahvly miss Celine Dion but I was lisenin to it on my casette deck, right, an its all about her beggin' her bloke not to geroff his marks and leg it! Carn't have that, it's not apropriate innit? Out of order. So I was lookin fru her gretest hits, right, and they is all bleedin' miserable old cows of songs, in't they, even though they is pognant like titanic song MY ART WILL GAH ON AN DON AN DON dunno who Don was wait a minute inne producer or summat? but that was pognant song right enuff make me think of Sharon me missus walk aht and i say to her gel geezer think twice but wot woz I supposed to do, eh? A bird's for walking you gotta let her fly the coop, as what I say. So I'm sayin' to her, jeezuz missus wot you got to be sad abaht? Mind you she is married to her grandad in'she, I mean look at the state of 'im, could do better gel, like yors truly. Anyways instead I is gonna ask for Power of Lahv even though cover - Jennifer Rush, cor if I were trapped in the lift with 'er, I wouldnt be in no rush, I'm tellin ya! So Suzie and all other tasty posters on them boards you is gonna be dedicate gahn aht to you gels to all the gels ive lahvd befowah! An I tell you again - you wantin a tasty triple decker sandwich wot is long-lasting and full of flavour, you cahnt go wrong with the REAL MAN, id est me. OH OI GOTTA GEL IN EVERY PORT EXCEPT POSSIBLY THURSO