Songs with clearly-staged banter

Although now maybe I'm thinking the difference between banter and lyrics is that, in the former, the singer/speaker breaks character and speaks as the performer.

"She is bangin'."

"Ooh she's off the hook!"

"She looks good, heh, you're right."

"I bet you can't nobody get that girl."

"Chris, I can get her."

"Can't get that girl Mike, I guaranTEE you can't get that girl!"

"Watch me get that girl."

"I betcha Never Never Land you can't."

"I can get her."

"Jamon then. JAMON!"

Dre: Aw shit, I left the muthafucka with Pooh

Eazy: You dumb muthafucka, what the fuck we gonna do now?

Yella: Hey, man I got some drums in the back

Eazy: Man what the fuck is he talkin' bout

Ren: Yo does it look like we can play some fuckin' drums?

Yella: Man, I can play the drums

Everyone: Bullshit!

Yella: Man, I used to fuck it up at Compton

[*Arguin'*]

Ren: Give this nigga some sticks.... Yo, fuck it up, Yella

TT : Come on, Dave, give me a break.

DLR: One break, coming up!

-Van Halen, "Unchained" (David Lee Roth/Ted Templeman)

That said, how about the conversation between DLR and Steve Vai's guitar at the top of "Yankee Rose"?

"I'd buy a raccoon, but John already has one."

staged? they even took *acting lessons* before recording.

first thing that came to mind...

"so ask me how i'm gonna get down to the shore..."

2. "Yo, my girlfriend called your girlfriend and she's pissed off because we're taking way too long to make this album. So bring the bass down, let the beat keep rockin', and we're outta here." (I haven't ehard that one in a long time so I'm probably not remembering it exactly right.)

"Don't You Worry About a Thing" by Stevie Wonder, as well

Oh, I don't know.

Well, rumor around town says you think you might be heading down to the shore.

Uh, yeah, I think I'm goin' down to the shore.

Whatcha gonna do down there?

Uh, I don't know, play some video games, buy some Def Leppard t-shirts.

Hey, don't forget to get your Motley Crue t-shirt, y'know, all proceeds go to get their lead singer out of jail.

Uh huh.

Hey, you gonna check out the sand bar while you're there?

Uh, what's the Sand Bar?

Oh, it's this place that lets sixteen year-old kids drink.

Oh, cool.

Y'know who's gonna be there?

Uh, who?

My favorite cover band, Crystal Shit.

Oh. Yeah, they do a Doors show, you'd be really impressed, in fact, it goes a little like this:

Love me two times baby Love me twice today (short musical pause) Love me two times girl Cause I got AIDS Love me two times baby, once for tomorrow, once cause I got AIDS

Wow, Pretty good Jim Morrison impersonation there.

Yeah, I hope those guys have a good sense of humor and don't take us to court.

Uh, what's the court?

Never mind that,

(interrupts) Oh, you mean like the People's Court?

Well, that's another story; the important thing here is you gotta ask me how I'm gonna get down to the shore.

Uh, how you gonna get down to the shore?

Funny you should ask, I've got a car now.

Oh wow, how'd you get a car?

Oh, my parents drove it up here from the Bahamas.

You're kidding!

I must be, the Bahamas are islands, okay, the important thing now, is that you ask me what kind of car I have.

Uh, what kinda car do ya got?

I've got a BITCHIN CAMARO.

-Sweet, Ballroom Blitz

-Jonathan Richman and The Modern Lovers, Government Center

"Goddamn KKK neo-Nazi fascists supreme!"

(or close enough for gov't work)

Cherie: "Joan, lets break out tonite."
Joan: "Ok Cherie, whats the plan?"

Cherie: "Joan! I'm down. My ankle....I can't go on"
Joan: "But I can't leave you. What do I do?"
Cherie: "Save yourself!"

"I really like the way the line runs up the back of your stockings there...I've always liked those kind of high heels, too...No, no, don't take 'em off, don't take 'em off, leave 'em on...A little more to the right..."

Then, at the end of the song:

"...Hey, I'll pay you for 'em..."

I haven't heard it myself, but apparently on one of Stevie Wonder's early sixties songs (when he was still known as "Little Stevie Wonder"), on the background you can hear the bassist asking, "What key, Little Stevie, what key?".

"I want my fucking frappacino. Where's my fucking frappacino?"

Ray Charles, What'd I say.

LP vs. Jay-Z Collision Course, before the first track.

The worst part is seeing the genesis of it on the DVD. Chester and Mike think it's the funniest thing ever ("OH SHIT WE GOTTA LEAVE THAT PART IN").

I'm Amazed by the Pixies.
There's also that bit they left in at the start of Vamos where Frank Black is trying to explain his "You fuckin' die" joke to a bemused Albini, but that sounds 4 REAL.

Not verbatim, but that's the jist of Bruce Springsteen's version of Santa Clause Is Comin' To Town.

Phase one, in which Doris gets her oats.

Hey, man, this is a groovy party. I can dig it.

(Michael)
Paul, I think I told you, I'm a lover not a fighter

(Paul)
I've heard it all before, Michael, she told me that I'm her forever lover, you know, don't you remember

(Michael)
Well, after loving me, she said she couldn't love another

(Paul)
Is that what she said

(Michael)
Yes, she said it, you keep dreaming

(Paul)
I don't believe it

(Michael & Paul)
The songs are mine (mine, mine, mine)

If you are making love it is imperative to bring all bodies to orgasm simultaneously.
Do not waste time blocking your ears.
Do not waste time seeking a "sound proofed" shelter.
Try to get as far away from the sonic source as possible
Do not panic
Do not panic

Use your wheels. It is what they are for.
Small babies may be placed inside the special cocoons
and should be left, if possible, in shelters.
Do not attempt to use your own limbs.
If no wheels are available - metal - not organic -
limbs should be employed whenever practical.

Remember:
In the case of sonic attack survival means
"Every man for himself"
Statistically more people survive if they think
only of themselves
Do not attempt to rescue friends, relatives, loved ones
You have only a few seconds to escape
Use those seconds sensibly or you will inevitably die
Think only of yourself
Think only of yourself
Do not panic
Think only of yourself
Think only of yourself

These are the first signs of sonic attack:
You will notice small objects - such as ornaments - oscillating
You will notice vibrations in your diaphragm
You will hear a distand hissing in your ears
You will feel the need to vomit
You will feel dizzy
You will have difficulty focussing
You will need to breathe more rapidly
There will be bleeding from orifices
There will be an ache in the pelvic region
You may be subject to fits of hysterical shouting or even laughter

These are all sign of imminent sonic destruction
Your only protection is flight
If you are less than ten years old
Remain in your shelter and use your cocoon
Remember - you can help no one else
You can help no one else
You can help no one else
Do not panic
Think only of yourself
Think only of yourself
Think only of yourself

Think only of yourself

Think only of yourself

Think only of yourself

-- mark grout (mark.grou...), June 16th, 2005.

Also The Temptations' "Can't Get Next to You." And probably a bunch of other things.

And let's not forget the staged picnic in the middle of "What's Going On"!

...
Joe - Uh, yeah, I think I'm goin' down to the shore.
Rod - Whatcha gonna do down there?
Joe - Uh, I don't know, play some video games, buy some Def Leppard t-shirts.
Rod - Hey, don't forget to get your Motley Crue t-shirt, y'know, all proceeds go to get their lead singer out of jail.
Joe - Uh huh.
Rod - Hey, you gonna check out the Sandbar while you're there?
Joe - Uh, what's the Sandbar?
Rod - Oh, it's this place that lets sixteen year-old kids drink.
Joe - Oh, cool.
Rod - Y'know who's gonna be there?
Joe - Uh, who?
Rod - My favorite cover band, Crystal Shit.
Joe - Oh.
Rod - Yeah, they do a Doors show, you'd be really impressed, in fact, it goes a little like this:

Love me two times baby
Love me twice today
Love me two times girl
Cause I got AIDS
Love me two times baby, once for tomorrow, once cause I got AIDS

Joe - Wow, Pretty good Jim Morrison impersonation there.
Rod - Yeah, I hope those guys have a good sense of humor and don't take us to court.
Joe - Uh, what's the court?
Rod - Never mind that,
Joe - Oh, you mean like the People's Court?
Rod - Well, that's another story; the important thing here is you gotta ask me how I'm gonna get down to the shore...

Say man,
What’s that boy?
I want to tell you ’bout your girlfriend,
What about my girl?
Well, you don’t look strong enough to take the message,
I’m strong enough,
I might hurt your feelings,
My feelings are already hurt by being here with you,
Well, I was walking down the street with your girl the other day,
Ah-ha,
And the wind was blowin’ real hard,
Is that right?
And the wind blew her hair into my face,
Ah-ha,
You know what else happened?
What happened?
The wind blew her hair into her face,
Yeh?
And we went a little further; you wanna hear the rest of it?
I might as well,
The wind blew her hair into the street!
Ok; since you told me about my girl, I’m gonna tell you about yours. I was walking down the street with your girl,
Yes?
I took her home, for a drink, you know,
Took her home?
Yeh, jus’ for a drink,
Oh,
But that chick looked so ugly, she had to sneak up on the glass to get a drink of water!
You’ve got the nerve to call somebody ugly; why you so ugly the stork that brought you in the world oughta be arrested!
That’s alright; my momma didn’t have to put a sheet on my head so sleep could slip up on me!
Look-a here!
What’s that?
Where are you from?
South america,
What’s that?
South america,
You don’t look like no south american to me,
I’m still from south america,
What part?
South texas!
Where are your workin’ boots at?
I’ve got ’em on,
Those aren’t no boots you got on; those broguettes!
Hey, look-a here!
What’s that?
I’ve bin tryin’ to figure out what you is,
I already figured out what you is!
What’s that?
You that thing I throw peanuts at!
Look-a here!
What’s that?
You should be ashamed of yourself,
Why?
Calling people ugly,
I didn’t call you ugly,
What you say?
I said you was ruined, that’s all!
You know somethin’?
What?
You look like you’ve bin whooped with a ugly-stick!
Hey! I ain’t got nothin’ to do with it, but I beat the fellah right...!

----

I was sitting in my room, and I was like staring at the walls thinking about
everything but then again I was thinking about nothing, and then my mom came
in and I didn't notice she was there and she calls my name and I didn't hear
her and then she started screaming:
- Mike, Mike!
And I go:
- What, what's the matter?
She goes:
- What's the matter with you?
I say:
- Nothing mom.
She goes:
- Don't tell me nothing, you're on drugs!
I go:
- No mom, I'm not on drugs, I'm ok, I'm just thinking, you know, why don't
you get me a Pepsi?
She goes:
- No, you're on drugs, you're crazy, normal people won't be acting that way!
I go:
- Mom, I'm all right, I'm just thinking, you know, so why don't you, like
give me a Pepsi?
And she goes:
- No, you're crazy!
All I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi, and she wouldn't give it to me,
just one Pepsi.

----

I was sitting in my room and my mom and my dad came in and they pulled up a
chair and they sat down, they go:
- Mike, we need to talk to you.
And I said:
- Okay, what's the matter?
They go:
- Well me and your mom, we been noticing lately you've been having alot of
problems, and you haven't been acting like yourself, and we're afraid that
you're going to hurt somebody, and we're afraid that you're gonna hurt
yourself, so we decided that it would be in your best interest if we put
you somewhere where you could get the help that you need...
And I said:
- Wait, what are we talking about?! We decided?! My best interest?! How can
you know, how can you say what my best interest is? What are you trying to
say? I'm crazy? When I went to your schools, I went to your churches, I
went to your institutional learning facilities. So how can you say that I'm
crazy?

You can fill a stadium with cats using shit cracked by Radium.
Liquid Sky will never die.
Before the crackers and the hackers, life was wacker.
Software we could never stack for.
We were floored by the evil hoards .
All the best shit we could never afford.
The internet and mp3, they set us free.
Im downloading windows and ME right now off FTP.
You bitches will never find me!
Because im everywhere, see.
Yo dog, you got something new?
Hit me off on ICQ.
I'll help you back in jive.
I got some top-notch shit on i-drive.
You shut one site down, we multiply.
Like a phoenix from a different place we rise.
Then you got the squares;
"Yo dude, your stealing, don.t you care?"
L-O-L, bitch. I got a terabyte of warez.
I like my files zip, sit, or rar.
I download seven hundred segments from a thousand sites.
I drink coffee, snort speed; I'll stay up all night.
I'll hack a companies site, and blank it white.
Ghost ISP's; Find me, please..

Dedicated to the hackers and the crackers.
This is dedicated to the hackers and the crackers.
The ones that set us free.
Thanks G for setting us free.
This is dedicated to the hackers and the crackers.

I see in binary, I speak source code.
Step on my toes, I'll post a million jpg's.
If you in a fag pose.
And your digital stance getting firewalled hoe.
Cause im ridin' the net and my six four(old school car sixty four is the
year).
I was a dick with my 56(K).
Now with my cable.I.m able to get that stable.
On the out my name is Ace and I.m a Leo.
On the digital highway, my name is Neo and im a hero.
In a flash I'll school you on burning dreamcasts.
You need some ISO's?
Let me through my hard drive rifle.
Our exchange, you could never stifle.
With a digital hug, you just caught the lovebug.
I've bootlegged your cd.
I caused the fight between UN and Jay Z.
You see G?
It's all gonna be free.
Whether we take it with force or we take it nicely.
You feel that rattle in you bones?
When I tell you we just hacked DOW Jones?
And NASDAQ leaves you fighting on your back?

Cause im the he who loves to hack and crack.
Cause im the he who loves to hack and crack.
This is dedicated to the hackers and the crackers.
Serial codes, source codes, ISO's, rar's, zip's, sit's.
This is dedicated to the hackers and the crackers.

Your encryption is primitive egyptian.
I'll do more with a 486 and a Plextor.
We've won when six billion got Athlons.
And we tell each other how to get it on.
Cyber-army's and the pentagon were storming.
I just found out who killed JFK.
The smoking gun will have it within a day.
All the lies they've been faster.
Go check the name "truth" on Napster.
Digital-disaster.
The pricks will never find me in this matrix.
A million keyboard voices all named Morpheus.
This is dedicated to those who set me free.
Got a buzz? Your always my cuz.
Radium, if i could only say to them; Thanks.
Kalisto, you know!
Utopia, and all my digital dogs.
My netgangs, my cybergangsters, my I/O-warriors, my computercomrades.
This is for you, this is dedicated to the hackers and the crackers.
I would'nt be able to do shit without ya'll man.
I'll be sittin in front of my fucking computer doing a goddamn thing,
playing games.
You have all made it possible. this is dedicated to you

How about when it's NOT staged, though, like on some Guided By Voices songs where it's just Robert Pollard's answering machine or people talking from some crappy bootleg of their live shows or something?

and there's a GWAR song (I think it's "Sick of You") where Oderus asks his band to "bring it down"...they fail to comply and he suddenly bellows "I SAID 'BRING IT DOWN'!!!"...then they do, and he smarmily and contemptuously mutters "thank you..."