iPod Wars?

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

This appears to me to be unpleasant:

http://www.thebrooklynrail.org/streets/april05/ipodwars.html

iPod Wars
by Trace Crutchfield
April 2005

The first time it happened I was in the Metropolitan Avenue subway station listening to my iPod on the platform, virtually alone. A song by the meteoric band Bloc Party was winding down when the blast of malignant air ahead of the L train rushed over me. As the subway doors opened and a crush of worker drones scattered, a young woman made eye contact.

She was dressed like a ’70s era punk, just about the spitting image of the singer Poly Styrene of X-Ray Spex. It was 8:15 in the morning and I couldn’t help but chuckle in my headphoned isolation at the vagaries of fashion—the amount of time the young woman had devoted to her appearance to master a look as anchored in time as Tom Cruise in Cocktail or a Civil War reenactment soldier.

Unfortunately, she picked up my vibe and without a hint of glamour or grace she made straight for me. Had I laughed audibly?

My stomach tightened and I pretended not to notice her approach, but as I tried to slide past her onto the train she reached for her purse. Uh-oh, I thought. This can’t be good. She brazenly yanked out her iPod and shoved it in my face. I flinched. She was wearing tiny Apple ear buds and her iPod revealed The Rezzillos playing.

I raised my eyebrows: you don’t expect many people to be listening to 30-year-old Scottish pop punk. She was obviously embracing the lifestyle of her crafted look. Good for her. I reconsidered my derision, grinned sheepishly at her taste in music and moved again to brush past her onto the train.

Yet after her point had seemingly been made she remained grinning maliciously in front of me. My only guess was that she wanted to be congratulated, so I let loose a sarcastically mouthed “bravo” and mocked a handclap. She still didn’t move and the L train slid right out of the station. I had missed it. Damn it. When I mimed my annoyance she pointed to the pocket of my jacket.

I suddenly got it. She showed me hers. Now she wanted to see mine.

My iPod was set on shuffle and I had lost track of the music during her assault. As I reached to show her, it hit me: the Pet Shop Boys were clearly swooning away in the background. Jesus Christ. Mortified, I held up my iPod for her inspection and looked away, feeling defeated. She simply turned and skipped down the ramp as my face reddened in electronic solitude.

The platform was empty and I had been dismissed. I felt like a fool. I could have blown away her pesky Rezzillos with my 20GB arsenal of depravity and hardcore, punk and whimsy. Goddamn Pet Shop Boys. I always knew listening to them would come back to haunt me, but I never thought it would hurt quite this bad. Because we were both wearing headphones I was denied any chance to laugh it off, or soft-pedal it as a lark.

I quickly realized I had lost my first iPod face-off. Score: Punk girl, one. Me, zero.

I started to encounter this musical one-upmanship everywhere. Now I can’t use my iPod around NYC without challengers constantly catching me unaware. Some mustached hedonist flashes Turbonegro at me in front of Katz’s Deli and what do I counter with? The Shins. “Indie-rock loser,” he mouths. “Fuck,” I roar silently. Down in Battery Park I fare better when a guy slides up to me unprovoked and flashes his iPod’s “Cheeseburgers in Paradise” at me tauntingly. I laugh aloud not even bothering to embarrass him with my Big Boys version of “Hollywood Swinging.”

I learn that timing is everything in this vicious new styling. God forbid you get caught with a Bright Eyes or Kings of Leon track playing. Since the L train incident I’ve upped my score: I’d say I’ve won about 65% of the face-offs. It’s difficult to quantify because I never actually speak to my nemesis. The victory is mine to accept or concede alone, within the solitude of a particular song, and the predatory nature of the face-offs almost unfailingly grants a win to the aggressor. Merely cue the appropriate song and strike.

I’ve remained a defensive player in the street challenges thus far, content in my iPod’s ability to counterstrike effectively. But I have a playlist devoted solely to iPod face-offs, and every day I imagine a reversal of roles: my face-off playlist at the ready for a sought-after rematch with Miss Styrene of the Metropolitan Station, often skipping L train after L train, hoping for my shot at redemption.

Trace is one of all those white guys in Brooklyn who own iPods. When he’s not trolling the Metropolitan Station for deliverance, he can be found at Vice Magazine.

― Unfortunate Prankster (Unfortunate Prankster), Friday, 20 May 2005 03:43 (twenty years ago)

who the fuck is this retard?

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Friday, 20 May 2005 03:48 (twenty years ago)

he's batting .650, he's a hall of famer.

― keith m (keithmcl), Friday, 20 May 2005 03:51 (twenty years ago)

it's like scissors paper rock except everyone is holding rocks

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Friday, 20 May 2005 03:53 (twenty years ago)

they'll be holding their rocks when i get through with them

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 20 May 2005 03:56 (twenty years ago)

"he can be found at Vice Magazine"

― rogermexico (rogermexico), Friday, 20 May 2005 03:58 (twenty years ago)

gah!!!

― A homunculus of Darby Crash, .... created for the purposes of *EVIL* (ex machina, Friday, 20 May 2005 04:00 (twenty years ago)

All of these supposed trends with iPods are clearly bullshit. I've never met anyone who's taken part in any of them (swapping headphones on the subway, etc.) -- in fact, I don't even really see anywhere near as many people in the city walking around with iPods as I'm supposed to be seeing.

― Hurting (Hurting), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:03 (twenty years ago)

i wish people would bother me like that with their ipod's.
maybe it's cause i don't use the trademark white earbuds?.

― Aerodynamic (Aerodynamic), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:05 (twenty years ago)

the guy is obviously joking!

― cutty (mcutt), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:08 (twenty years ago)

It would be awesome if you could have your iPod display text, so when someone shoves an iPod in your face, you can pull yours and it says "YOU ARE A FUCKING RETARD" or something like that.

― Hurting (Hurting), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:09 (twenty years ago)

But that's what the scrolling LED belt buckle is for!

― Telephonething, Friday, 20 May 2005 04:12 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, first thing I thought also: "this seems like a lie."

― Unfortunate Prankster (Unfortunate Prankster), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:13 (twenty years ago)

the (alleged) coming popping of the real estate bubble is gonna be SO SWEEEEEEEET for what it's gonna do to williamsburg/vice-reading douchebags.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:17 (twenty years ago)

pet shop boys don't beat the rezillos? this guys a tool for giving a shit though.

― jmeister (jmeister), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:20 (twenty years ago)

i remember some chick from undergrad (pre-IPOD) who made a big deal about being into ol' school punk and that she loved the rezillos. we just laughed at her, mainly b/c she was a dumb fat fuck.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:21 (twenty years ago)

jmeister OTM on both counts.

― D. Bachyrycz, Friday, 20 May 2005 04:21 (twenty years ago)

hahahaha
oh, and for fucks sake change up the shite headphones ipods come with and this would never happen

― jmeister (jmeister), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:22 (twenty years ago)

Rezzillos vs. Pet Shop Boys, and he thinks the score was "Punk girl, one. Me, zero"? Guess again.

In any case, people shoving their iPods in my face ought to greeted by my shoving a hot coffee in theirs.

― brittle-lemon, Friday, 20 May 2005 04:23 (twenty years ago)

does applecare cover ipod failure due to coffee immersion?

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:24 (twenty years ago)

brittle's got the right idea, I dont know which offense is more violent.
I hope someone does this to me so I can laugh in their face, dont know what id say but the laughing could say just enough especially considering the fragile psyches such challengers probably have and how much cackling at their music could cripple them.

― jmeister (jmeister), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:28 (twenty years ago)

Rezzillos vs. Pet Shop Boys, and he thinks the score was "Punk girl, one. Me, zero"? Guess again.

To me, it seems more like, "Okay, here I am telling this big lie..." and that he has his own opinions/justifications regarding music that are meaningless to everyone else except his sorry ass self.Someone iPodded him in his face until he missed his train and then skipped off down the way...? Yeah, right!

― Unfortunate Prankster (Unfortunate Prankster), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:29 (twenty years ago)

there's a premium for williamsburg (or other hipster-ghetto dwellers) that covers coffee stunts.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:29 (twenty years ago)

how "punk" is it to be sporting an ipod? it should be all about cassette players. and i wonder if he thinks he would have won with bloc party, that would be the true loss.

― jmeister (jmeister), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:31 (twenty years ago)

The thing is (why I posted it)...

This is the sort of lie (which I believe it is: A LIE) that turns into a reality due to stupid, impressionable dipshits who look to pop culture icons (MTV, Fuse, Spin, Rolling Stone, Vice, etc.) in order to decide how to act. I seriously doubt this subculture of iPod wars exists at this moment, but the "legend" of its existence could actually create its lame reality.

― Unfortunate Prankster (Unfortunate Prankster), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:31 (twenty years ago)

maybe he's angling to write copy for some advertising firm -- or he already does.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:34 (twenty years ago)

Guys,.. it's a harmless thing. He probably is taking the piss, but the concept is pretty cool.

― The Brainwasher (Twilight), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:35 (twenty years ago)

i could TOTALLY see some hipster dickwads doing this, though.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:35 (twenty years ago)

It's silly. I'm going to do it just for kicks one day.

― The Brainwasher (Twilight), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:36 (twenty years ago)

I don't see in what way this article isn't great.

― The Good Dr. Bill (The Good Dr. Bill), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:37 (twenty years ago)

It's be funny if I ran into Alex in NYC.

"Jobriath trumps Killing Joke. I win."

― The Brainwasher (Twilight), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:38 (twenty years ago)

I'm going to do this with MY iPod when I buy one! It'll be so COOL! I will PWN West Hartford Center!

― VANILLA NINJA 4EVAH (popshots75`), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:41 (twenty years ago)

Like there's an objective method for 2 participants to agree on who won!

Imagine some fucking backpacker throwing their Anticon shite under my nose.... "Who the fuck are Wolf Eyes"

― A homunculus of Darby Crash, .... created for the purposes of *EVIL* (ex machina, Friday, 20 May 2005 04:42 (twenty years ago)

What is this bullshit?

― Cunga (Cunga), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:42 (twenty years ago)

I think obscurity is the deciding factor.. at least that what I got from the article.

― The Brainwasher (Twilight), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:43 (twenty years ago)

I bet you all are going to start doing it, aren't you? I can't wait until I run into you with my Sony CD MP3 Walkman. I am going to hit "stop", open up my walkman, pull out my CD and scrawled on the top of the CD it is going to read "alice cooper sonic youth buckethead phish grateful dead boards of canada..." and we'll both look at each other as if to say, "you suck!" But, as you start walking away, I'll flick a spring-allergy booger on your back.

― Unfortunate Prankster (Unfortunate Prankster), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:43 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, jeez, way to take things too seriously, ilm.

I intend doing this next chance I get, preferably to some duck-footed auntie who has no clue what an iPod is and can't even read english.

― Jacob (Jacob), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:44 (twenty years ago)

You guys are no fun.

― The Brainwasher (Twilight), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:44 (twenty years ago)

Imagine some fucking backpacker throwing their Anticon shite under my nose.... "Who the fuck are Wolf Eyes"

oh no! nate patrin v. jon williams FITE!! OH NO!!!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:46 (twenty years ago)

Is this how arts and culture writers try to make themselves feel better about their sad little apartments and timid little lives?

― A homunculus of Darby Crash, .... created for the purposes of *EVIL* (ex machina, Friday, 20 May 2005 04:47 (twenty years ago)

Is this how arts and culture writers try to make themselves feel better about their sad little apartments and timid little lives?

Yeah, I think! Music is so... nondefining. But, to a total loser, it's totally defining.

― Unfortunate Prankster (Unfortunate Prankster), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:49 (twenty years ago)

eisbar have you ever been to williamsburg??? cuz uh, hi, normal people live there. there are also young people who dress in a flashy way and have professional jobs. i mean, so the fuck what? in my neighborhood (third l-stop; not really wiliamsburg but close) i see: black people, hispanic people, polish people, italian people, etc. i also see young people. on some other thread i just saw you were wishing for a real estate bust to shut williamsburg down. um, why exactly, besides the fact that yr fucking lame and are excited to other anyone who you perceive as doing better than you? how fucking boring can you get??

― Jams Murphy (ystrickler), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:49 (twenty years ago)

"better than you" = all eggs in one basket?

― Unfortunate Prankster (Unfortunate Prankster), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:52 (twenty years ago)

Fantasyworld?

― Unfortunate Prankster (Unfortunate Prankster), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:53 (twenty years ago)

I'm 18 and I like it?!

― Unfortunate Prankster (Unfortunate Prankster), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:54 (twenty years ago)

also, let it be said that the brooklyn rail fucking sucks.

― Jams Murphy (ystrickler), Friday, 20 May 2005 04:56 (twenty years ago)

i see: black people, hispanic people, polish people, italian people, etc. i also see young people.

do you pat them on the head, too?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 20 May 2005 05:00 (twenty years ago)

Yes, but I run and make Daffy Duck noises.

― Unfortunate Prankster (Unfortunate Prankster), Friday, 20 May 2005 05:02 (twenty years ago)

He can't be all that bad if he's got the Big Boys on his iPod.

― Jazzbo (jmcgaw), Friday, 20 May 2005 09:28 (twenty years ago)

this thread is giving me a headache.

― Disco Nihilist (mjt), Friday, 20 May 2005 12:15 (twenty years ago)

i'd flash "Bobby Brown - Rock Wit'Cha"

― Chris 'The Nuts' V (Chris V), Friday, 20 May 2005 12:21 (twenty years ago)

The lesson I learned from this article is you should always dress to match your playlist.

Or something.

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Friday, 20 May 2005 13:01 (twenty years ago)

if only he had invested in a hipsterpod..

PUTOMAYO>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>"Johnny Too Bad">>>>>>All other music.

― poortheatre (poortheatre), Friday, 20 May 2005 20:25 (twenty years ago)

http://www.robertandrews.com/cinderella/pager.gif

― jcartledge (jcartledge), Friday, 20 May 2005 21:11 (twenty years ago)

rare unreleased cinderella.

― jcartledge (jcartledge), Friday, 20 May 2005 21:11 (twenty years ago)

Just look me up on slsk...

― PappaWheelie (PappaWheelie), Friday, 20 May 2005 21:21 (twenty years ago)

I thought all it took to be cool was just having an iPod. . .

Hilarious concept, this.

Happily, I carry my 100GB "brick" and love it. And nobody ever "shows me theirs".

― I.M. (I.M.), Friday, 20 May 2005 21:57 (twenty years ago)

theres a 100 GB model! holy shit, how much did it cost? The 20 GB was all I could afford.

― jmeister (jmeister), Saturday, 21 May 2005 02:51 (twenty years ago)

No no, it's not an iPod. It's a very unstylish player about an inch taller and wider than an iPod, but it gets 20+ hrs battery life, can transfer to/from any computer (without any iTunes type interface), can record optically at 320kbps, and lets me organise the files any way I wish. It cost me $160 for the player and $170 for the HD. You can install any 2.5" HD. Or, you can buy a 40GB installed for $230, 60GB for $280, etc.

http://www.digmind.com/store/index_500.html

― I.M. (I.M.), Saturday, 21 May 2005 03:02 (twenty years ago)

Wow $230 for 40 GB.. that's a steal.

― The Brainwasher (Twilight), Saturday, 21 May 2005 03:04 (twenty years ago)

It's been a great player. I've had it about 9 months now (maybe longer, I lose track of that sort of thing) and I use it 6 to 10 hours a day at work and often in the evenings walking, and it's just been great. I bought my girlfriend a 40GB one (a slightly less ugly model marketed by PogoProducts.com). I've got 18,000 songs on it now with 12GB left, and I encode at 192-224 average VBR.

― I.M. (I.M.), Saturday, 21 May 2005 03:10 (twenty years ago)

The ipod shuffle kind of throws a wrench in this, no handy dandy display. I guess I could show off the powerpuff girls sticker on mine instead.

― lyra (lyra), Saturday, 21 May 2005 03:47 (twenty years ago)

How does that work, with no display? How do you pick the track you want? I've seen some pretty small flash players that had displays. . .

― I.M. (I.M.), Saturday, 21 May 2005 03:51 (twenty years ago)

The point is that you DON'T pick the track you want, which makes it kinda useles... EXCEPT that I need something to run with and my ipod keeps skipping and seizing up and I imagine flash memory won't have that problem, so I think this apple zombie may be soon headed back to the store for pod numba two...

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Saturday, 21 May 2005 06:13 (twenty years ago)

Ah, so "Shuffle" isn't just a clever name. Yeah, that would drive me insane (even though I often listen on shuffle). That's why I couldn't go with iPod--it tries to do too many things for you, giving you too little control.

― I.M. (I.M.), Saturday, 21 May 2005 06:45 (twenty years ago)

Honestly, I have a "real" ipod and I use the shuffle more. Depends on what kind of mood you're in.

― lyra (lyra), Saturday, 21 May 2005 14:58 (twenty years ago)

five months pass...

Are you writing for the Village Voice now as well Unfortunate Prankster ?

― agent mule, Friday, 4 November 2005 23:19 (twenty years ago)

"Georgia Boy" - Al Green

now show me yours, and don't lie...I'll know

Robinson

― Robinson (Robinson), Friday, 4 November 2005 23:32 (twenty years ago)

Robinson, where have you been?

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 4 November 2005 23:33 (twenty years ago)

I'm getting a new iPod tonight, I think.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 4 November 2005 23:34 (twenty years ago)

I was in the Metropolitan Avenue subway station listening to my iPod ... when the blast of malignant air ahead of the L train rushed over me.

i'm about six months late in pointing this out, but SOMEONE should point out that there is no metropolitan ave stop in the L line.

yeah, the lorimer stop on the L shares a station with the metropolitan ave stop on the G, but no one who actually uses the L train would ever call it that.

― fact checking cuz (fcc), Saturday, 5 November 2005 05:54 (twenty years ago)

i just restored my ipod. all better!

― blackmail.is.my.life (blackmail.is.my.life), Saturday, 5 November 2005 05:58 (twenty years ago)

fact checkin cuz on the case!

― kurtney kurtney, Saturday, 5 November 2005 05:58 (twenty years ago)

Next up: Last.fm wars!

― Ryan Pitchfork (Ryan Pitchfork), Saturday, 5 November 2005 07:37 (twenty years ago)

meteoric band Bloc Party

Sadly they have remained on earth and not done their meteoric escape to Mars.

― Nathalie, the Queen of Frock 'n' Fall (stevie nixed), Saturday, 5 November 2005 08:13 (twenty years ago)

the thing is anytime i see anyone wearing headphones i am terribly curious about what is on them. ipod warz or no i want some excuse to read their display.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Saturday, 5 November 2005 09:04 (twenty years ago)

You like to be disappointed, Sterling? ;-)

― Nathalie, the Queen of Frock 'n' Fall (stevie nixed), Saturday, 5 November 2005 09:14 (twenty years ago)

you think i would be? why? i'm not the type that would be pissed if it weren't *all* as cool (read: "cool") as the Rezzillos.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Saturday, 5 November 2005 09:23 (twenty years ago)

I like to imagine that everyone's listening to Perrey & Kingsley. It makes the world around me much more fun.

― Øystein (Øystein), Saturday, 5 November 2005 09:27 (twenty years ago)

I've got 3gb of Just a Minute on my iPod - I wonder if that beats the Rezillos?

― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Saturday, 5 November 2005 18:29 (twenty years ago)

The correct answer is that nothing beats The Rezillos, ever.

― rsvp, Sunday, 6 November 2005 21:25 (twenty years ago)

I'm going to see the Rezillos in December. There's currently nothing by them on my iPod though.

― Colonel Poo (Colonel Poo), Sunday, 6 November 2005 21:38 (twenty years ago)

I've got 3gb of Just a Minute on my iPod - I wonder if that beats the Rezillos?
ysi plz

― Øystein (Øystein), Sunday, 6 November 2005 21:44 (twenty years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.